Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

And now I'm a dom


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> And now I'm a dom Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
And now I'm a dom - 4/11/2007 11:23:42 PM   
tahoe2004


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/6/2007
Status: offline 		I've been a sub for many years (decades!) and have 'generic' profiles on a couple of adult-oriented sites. Where the profiles refer to spanking, D/s. BDSM etc.  (without role definition),  I receive dozens of responses from beautiful and willing subs, bottoms and surprisingly - would-be slaves. My sense is that most of these women are experimenting with newfound interests.

This embarassment of riches offers a whole new lifestyle for me, which is probably a lot less physically-draining than my previous incarnation. :-)  I'd like to pursue the Dom role (but not to the degree of leather chaps and a biker cap). because the list of applicants is huge.  I have lots of toys - with which I am  intimately familiar (ouch) but am wavering about changing from sub to Dom. The new role would be hot, clearly less painful and totally piques my interest a "new" lifelstyle. However, the prospect also seems opportunistic. I'm past my  "mid-life role reversal" crises - - - but wonder if the transition from sub to switch to a-few-years-of disinterest and then the Dom role - is fantasy or a possible reality.

Thanks everyone.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/11/2007 11:26:49 PM   
kinkyviolet


Posts: 27
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		Why not?

(in reply to tahoe2004)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/11/2007 11:48:31 PM   
damia


Posts: 190
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		I'm a married slave, submissive only to My Lord. I, also, am beginning to explore my Dominant side. With My Lord's support, it is very easy. He knows I will not leave Him; I am His slave 'until death do us part'. He does have jealous pangs sometimes, but He allows me to play with whomever I want, and is even getting to know a guy that is a potential pet for Me!

It is very possible to go from submissive only to switch, and if you have a Dom, talk to Him/Her first and see what His/Her feelings are. See if (S)He will support you in your exploration. If (S)He is the right one for you, they'll probably help you explore your dominance, and be there to catch you should you fall.

Good luck!

~jewel, slave to Wulf

(in reply to tahoe2004)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/11/2007 11:59:00 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		My brother was a sub/masochist for 20 years....then he met an uncollared female sub, fell in love with her, switched and they got married!

Weird but true!

You can dominate someone so submisisve she brings out feelings of dominance (protection, guidance, control etc)

Saddest thing I see is longstanding, self proclaimed "Dominant" men getting hen-pecked to death by their submissive wives after a few years.  There's lots of people in lots of weird relationships calling themselves Dom and sub. 

So why shouldn't you give it a go if you find someone you really like and are willing to treat eachother with respect.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained


_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to damia)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/12/2007 8:48:48 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		You don't have to be one or the other. And, being a Top (sadist) or a bottom (masochist) can be completely seperate from being a Dom, sub, Master or slave. Explore. Have fun. Then pick a mix...or not. Remember that things are often fluid...so even once you pick a mix, it can change.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to tahoe2004)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/12/2007 11:37:17 AM   
TheShadows


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline 		I say go for it.  I did, and I'm the happiest I've ever been in this lifestyle.  If this is something you're really interested in and turned on by, why not?  Take responsibility for your own happiness.

Best Wishes,
~MrsShadows~

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to tahoe2004)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/12/2007 1:59:18 PM   
sweetstorm


Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Don't let a label define you. Experiment and find out what feels good. Isn't that how you got into this lifestyle in the first place?

_____________________________

You don't need a parachute to skydive.

You need a parachute to skydive twice.

(in reply to TheShadows)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/12/2007 5:16:12 PM   
tahoe2004


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/6/2007
Status: offline 		What great answers. I really appreciate the interest - and will try this next exporation of the lifestyle . . . smiling all the way.  Cheers.

(in reply to sweetstorm)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/12/2007 6:20:53 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Just a quick tip.....more than just a few of those many applicants will probably turn out to be men pretending to be women.  Be careful.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to tahoe2004)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/12/2007 7:21:02 PM   
tahoe2004


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/6/2007
Status: offline 		That was pretty much the perfect answer to my self-inflicted confusion.  Thanks for the explanation - and re-defining roles that are so often confused, blended and in my case, stereotyped.  The concept of a masochistic dom is about the coolest description (and kink) I can imagine. It would likely get me thrown out of "events", but at the same time, no one could call me a poser. I think.

Thanks for the sharp insight.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/12/2007 7:56:29 PM   
N4SDChastity


Posts: 327
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline 		Tho many are LOATHE to admit it, there's a little bit od Dom/me and sub in ALL of us.

(in reply to tahoe2004)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/12/2007 8:12:25 PM   
tahoe2004


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/6/2007
Status: offline 		So I'm discovering.

(in reply to N4SDChastity)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/12/2007 11:10:14 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		My personal philosophy is that everyone is on a D/s ladder. 

No-one is right at the top (100% Dominant) or bottom (100% submissive). 

You have others above, below and next to you on the ladder.  Some people expertly bring out the delight of Domination; others can make you feel submissive

As life goes on you wander up and down the ladder a bit.  Some of us jump right off swearing off D/s forever.....but we always come back

Tahoe, you have just realised that you are on a ladder.    Go for it :)

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to tahoe2004)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/13/2007 7:34:51 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		Playing a role is not being yourself.
Both polarities of control and surrender are within each person.
Look within to find your natural balance, or "set point," and just be yourself.
When one plays games with others, some may return the favor. Those who play games sometimes lose.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/15/2007 8:14:56 AM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tahoe2004
The concept of a masochistic dom is about the coolest description (and kink) I can imagine. It would likely get me thrown out of "events", but at the same time, no one could call me a poser. I think.

Why would being honest about who you are get you thrown out of events? You might be surprised to learn that there are a HELL of a lot more switches in the world than you realize, and/or that there are way more who identify as masochistic Dom or sadistic sub than you realize.

Midori does a great presentation on that topic, actually, you might search for her website and read the description of it. Just because you don't fit a stereotype does not mean you aren't welcome at BDSM events.

~E

(in reply to tahoe2004)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: And now I'm a dom - 4/15/2007 9:51:33 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		i say Go for it and best of luck

(in reply to tahoe2004)
Profile   Post #: 16
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> And now I'm a dom Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078