RE: How did you claim your title? (Full Version)

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Elorin -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 4:54:45 AM)

To give more insight you'd have to explain the question at hand a bit more.



TigressFL -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 6:03:28 AM)

I have a friend that  went through "training" by a goup of his friends to "earn" his various titles. He is now up to  the "Lord" title. The thing is that his titles mean nothing to anyone but the group of people he got them from.

To me titles and the like have been bastardized soo much that they hold no menaing at all to me outside of my personal relationships. So people can call themselves anything they wish but that does not mean I will agree with them lol

Tigress~FL



StrictPapa -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 7:02:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

For those who do not know of me

An Acolyte brought it to my attention that there may be those among you who are unaware of who and what I am.  I am a Dominant of the 12th Order, a house so ancient, its origins are shrouded in the history of time, although our accomplishments are not, as we are the most respected house in all of Europe.  I myself began my training while in the womb and have continued that education unending until the present day although there are few Elders left with enough knowledge to add to my own.

In the coming year I myself shall join those hallowed ranks of Elders and thus the cycle continues.  I realize to many of you, men such as myself are the stuff of myths and legends, but I am real flesh and blood. 

For those who have never had the honor of being graced with my presence and yet wish to offer the proper greetings, I thought I would outline the required etiquette.  While this various from house to house, it is the 12th Order that other houses seek to emulate so this etiquette will serve you well.

When conducting introductions, one always presents the inferior party to the superior party.  Just as one would never introduce the Queen to anyone else, one would never introduce a superior Dominant to an inferior, it is the inferior Dominant who is introduced to the superior ranking Dominant.  When Dominants of equal rank are introduced, the one from the inferior house that is introduced to the equal Dominant from the superior house.

When a Dominant or a Domme is presented to someone from a superior house, such as mine, it is proper to cross your arms across your chest and to glance downward until recognized.  This signifies that I am free to do as I wish but that you defer actions to me.  The downward glance signifies that you acknowledge your house is inferior to mine.

When a submissive is introduced, the correct greeting varies according to the sex of the submissive.  Females should arch their backs so as to present their breasts proudly but both lower their gaze and clasp their hands behind their backs.  Males should simply turn their wrists so that the inside of the palms of the hands face inwards and press the wrists together as if bound.

I look forward to meeting some of you and while I will not admonish you publicly for failing to adhere to the above, expect me to take you aside and correct you.


Your repeating yourself



gypsygrl -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 7:31:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

If I had a buck for everytime some responded to me "but you are a crappy dom, just look at your name"...I would be rich.  I changed it for a couple of reasons but frankly, that certainly was one of them.


Heh.  I thought that was a great name, and wish you hadn't have changed it.  It still gives me a chuckle.

There's not enough irony in the world.



CinatasForums -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 8:01:33 AM)

The problems with titles is it is only a word.  And a word in any can have multiple of different meanings and interpetations.  What one person considers a dom(me) or sub is totally different than another person.  Many people would consider people who have differing view or interpetation even if its just a differing of the "norm" to be a liar or a fraud.  This may or may not be the case.    I have called myself a sub before if only as a generalized descriptor for someone ignorant to the going ons of BDSM.  But as I read in a quote once, "BDSM has as many different interpetations as there are people into it."  But that goes for life in general.  Well anyway enough about my rant on symantics and humanity.

As for MY title, "There are those who call me.....Tim?!?"  - heh heh I had to throw my Monty Python in as well :)

The only titles I claim for myself are Geek and Programmer :)  I claim those titles and wear them proudly.

I have been refered to as a puppy by others, but I never claimed that title, I also never said I didnt' enjoy it *smirk*.

Also one last thing.  I don't remember the posters name sadly or I would quote them directly, but earlier in the posts someone mentioned that this ignorance to titles and there meaning was attributed to age.  I wholeheartedly disagree.  I found out I was "submissive in nature" when I was very young and wanted to be tied up by the girls with jump ropes in girls vs guys tag in elementary school.  I never found out the "norm meaning" of the word until I was much older.  Now at 25 and having known what I was for close to 17 years I find it insulting when others say that younger people know not what they are talking about, some of us do!  If you want to say something insulting about people and their lack of knowledge about how a term is defined on an INDIVIDUAL basis then by all means keep saying that but it only shows your ignorance to society and symantics.



Faramir -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 9:27:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Ok, on the original idea.... Some got the concept of the idea, some did not.



No, we all got it.  It's just that a lot of us don't share the precepts behind the concept, and so we think it is really fucking stupid.



daniL -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 10:52:52 AM)

Most people-- including my girl-- refer to me as Danny. That's the way it's always been, that's the way it'll always be. However, if we're in a scene, she's called me Mistress. I'm thinking of changing what she calls me to Master, actually, because it's more gender neutral, and anyone who's ever met me knows that I'm not exactly the most femme chica on the planet...not butch, but not really femme, and so any specifically female title [Mistress, Lady, etc] seems awkward for me particularly. When I was discussing this with my girl [we switch in and out of role like someone parodying a Multiple Personality Disorder] she admitted to me that 'Master' always seemed like a better term for me, which was a little funny since I was already planning on changing it.

Are there any other female doms who find themselves leaning towards the gender neutral? This isn't a capital 'F' feminisim thing, just something that fits me.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 11:13:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daniL

Are there any other female doms who find themselves leaning towards the gender neutral? This isn't a capital 'F' feminisim thing, just something that fits me.



Yes, and the number is growing in the national community.

Master Fire



szobras -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 1:08:33 PM)

I personally do not self proclaim any title. I believe titles are given by the respect and ideal of another, or peers. I do prefer to be addressed as Sir at times, should others feel it appropriate. I do carry "titles" outside of D/s relationships that have been given to me, and likewise address those in my life as appropriate. It does not bother me that someone may self proclaim a title here. As like anywhere else , in my opinion, many people will self identify and express that which they percievce themselves to be. Regardless of thier level of experience in any area of life.



Sinergy -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 3:11:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I became Grand Emperor Poobah of All I Perceive by overthrowing the last Grand Emperor Poobah of All I Perceive in ritual combat involving full contact tic tac toe and tiddlywinks to the death.


Is that with or without crushed Oreo’s?


Dude,

Crushed Oreo's are for chili, not ritual combat.

Sinergy



LadyPact -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 3:12:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Not sure about insight - however...
My thought is that certainly, you have been given the title by certain individuals.  However that does not make it that way to everyone.  Being a 'Lady' or a 'Master' in BDSM circles, isn't anything like an official 'title'.  It does not mean anything to anyone except those who chose to submit to that way of thinking.
 
So that being said - if I met you at an event, I would in no way wish to address you as 'Lady' (no offense intended) - simply as who you are.  It is not meant as a disrespect, or even being awkward.  You are just not the person to whom I would submit such a title on first meeting.  I prefere people first, rather than titles and honourifics.
 
Question is - how does that make one feel?  Would you ignore me, simply because I didn't title you?  Would that make me less of a person in your (generic) eyes?  I know I certainly wouldn't associate with people to whom forcing their ideas upon me or anyone else.  With me, you have two choices.  .dark. or my real name.  Either way it's not a title or a label - just a name.  Whether I am submissive or not holds no meaning unless our relationship took another step.
 
Peace and Rapture



To answer your question, it doesn't make Me feel one way or the other.  No, it does not mean that I would ignore you.  As you said yourself, there's two choices, either Lady Pact or My real name.  After sitting back and thinking about it for a while, I realized at the last party I attended, more people called Me Lady Pact than anything else.  That included being introduced to people I've never met before.  The catch to this is that the people who were making the introductions have been friends of Mine for a whle, so it's still a name from other influences.  If I introduce Myself, I usually tell people both, because they will hear Me referred to as both.
 
In such cases, I'm not sure if it is considered a title or a nickname.  It could be both.  I'd venture to say that not everyone who calls Me Lady Pact really knows where it came from.  I have no problem with that either.  If they ask about the story, I tell it.
 



Najakcharmer -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 3:26:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
Crushed Oreo's are for chili, not ritual combat.


Aiyee yah, you just made me safeword. 



Sinergy -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 3:32:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

If I had a buck for everytime some responded to me "but you are a crappy dom, just look at your name"...I would be rich.  I changed it for a couple of reasons but frankly, that certainly was one of them.


Heh.  I thought that was a great name, and wish you hadn't have changed it.  It still gives me a chuckle.

There's not enough irony in the world.



I have to agree.  I thought CrappyDom ruled.

I tend to dislike titles.  I wear green name tags to Munches.  People try to call me Lord Sinergy or Master Sinergy or UltimatePoobah Sinergy and I ask them to just call me Sinergy.

I have had a few who stated that referring to me as a title was part of her dynamic and something her/his Dominant insisted they do, and I smile and tell them "no worries, whatever you are comfortable with."

Sinergy



LadyPact -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 3:49:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin

To give more insight you'd have to explain the question at hand a bit more.


In the OP, I left the idea rather vague intentionally to see if people would expand the idea and take it places of their own.  Better than just knee jerk reactions.  That way, it could be interpreted as how did you get your title of Master, for example.  Or, it could be how did you get a name you are going by other than your real name.  Or, why do people call you what they call you.  Or a few other possibilities.  Perhaps when I wrote the original, I should have used the word "name" to replace the word "title".  Just an after thought.
 
Also in the OP, I did make a reference to people calling themselves things (such as Master) that perhaps they really shouldn't be claiming.  A few of the replies picked up on this as well.  Not to stir the pot intentionally, but I'm somewhat curious to see what some would say on the example of one calling themselves Master, but have no experience.  It is a curiosity of Mine, nothing more.
 
Not sure how the oreos got in there.... but somebody pass Me the box.



darkinshadows -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 3:50:42 PM)

quote:

I have had a few who stated that referring to me as a title was part of her dynamic and something her/his Dominant insisted they do, and I smile and tell them "no worries, whatever you are comfortable with."

Sinergy


Now see, I can understand that there are s-types that state this.  I have encountered so many.  But my thought is - how is that in anyway respectful to the person you are talking to?  It's no different to me coming up to you, introducing ourselves and then me insisting I call you 'billy-boy' if you name is William Tell.

Isn't that experience you have encountered, no different to a dominant insisting that a s-type call them 'Sir'.  If that were to happen, all hell is let loose and the dominant is accused of being to big for their pants.  Yet s-types get away with it all the time, simply because it's how they were 'trained'... or the 'Master says so'.

What ever happened to mutual respect?

Peace 



Stranger1 -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 3:51:16 PM)

You don't claim titles-your expressed nature grants them through others.



Sinergy -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 3:55:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

I have had a few who stated that referring to me as a title was part of her dynamic and something her/his Dominant insisted they do, and I smile and tell them "no worries, whatever you are comfortable with."

Sinergy


Now see, I can understand that there are s-types that state this.  I have encountered so many.  But my thought is - how is that in anyway respectful to the person you are talking to?  It's no different to me coming up to you, introducing ourselves and then me insisting I call you 'billy-boy' if you name is William Tell.

Isn't that experience you have encountered, no different to a dominant insisting that a s-type call them 'Sir'.  If that were to happen, all hell is let loose and the dominant is accused of being to big for their pants.  Yet s-types get away with it all the time, simply because it's how they were 'trained'... or the 'Master says so'.

What ever happened to mutual respect?

Peace 



Well...

I stated what I preferred he/she/it called me.

he/she/it stated he/she/it was supposed to call me something else on orders of his/her/its Dominant.

Not my place to argue.

On the other hand, there is a part of me (I dont say this) that thinks their Dominant is somewhat of a jackass by ordering their submissive to call people certain names despite being asked not to by those people.

I think it is extremely disrespectful, in the same way that going around and ordering every submissive in the party to refer to them as Lord God King Uber Dominant Of All They Survey is.

But I choose my battles carefully, so I dont generally say anything.

Sinergy



MadRabbit -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 3:58:52 PM)

I began to develop an unexplainable love of carrots, tufts of white fur began appearing in odd places, and my front teeth became noticabley longer. Add in the fact that I am crazy and the name just fit.

But seriously..."Sir" is what I use in my personal relationships. Its a respect thing (something that I feal is earned) and simply a reminder for the sub of what I am to them. If they are in a personal relationship with me, then its safe to assume enough respect is present for me to require it. Outside of that, any gesture or title is at the person's discretion, something I notice and appreciate, but never require.

I am very "anti-title" because traditioanlly its something bestowed upon you by other people in a community or family and I would rather have my own personal cahracter respresent me rather than a self claimed title.

On a regular daily basis, the average male doesnt require you to call him "Mr. Smith" or refer to himself as "Mr. Smith" to show that he is male. Why? Because its clear he's a male. I feal the same way towards a Dom title. Why should I need people to refer me as Master Rabbit or refer to myself as such? If I have the substance to be viewed as a Master, then I dont need a title to recongize me as one.




Vendaval -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 4:10:12 PM)

Mud-Pies served to you by slaves on roller skates!    [sm=whip.gif]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I became Grand Emperor Poobah of All I Perceive by overthrowing the last Grand Emperor Poobah of All I Perceive in ritual combat involving full contact tic tac toe and tiddlywinks to the death.


Is that with or without crushed Oreo’s?


Dude,

Crushed Oreo's are for chili, not ritual combat.

Sinergy



MasterFireMaam -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 4:13:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1

You don't claim titles-your expressed nature grants them through others.


Once again, I disagree. For some, taking on a title is important to their personal self development. Some people have to fall on their face about it. Some people need to figure out that who they thought they were, and thus the title they chose, isn't really who they are at all.

When you meet someone who goes by a certain title, you can choose to use it or not; that's the nice thing about a free society. The person in question then has the right to react, or not, to your use, or not, of the title. To me, how they react to that situation is a good show of character.

When giving instruction about this topic to those who serve me, I say this: It is nothing for you to use a title. If you mean no respect by it or simply treat it as part of their name, there is no emotional attachment in it for you. It is then up to the person who you are addressing to live up to the title...or not.

Master Fire



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