RE: How did you claim your title?

RE: How did you claim your title? (Full Version)

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Stranger1 -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 4:28:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam quote: ORIGINAL: Stranger1 You don't claim titles-your expressed nature grants them through others. Once again, I disagree. For some, taking on a title is important to their personal self development. Some people have to fall on their face about it. Some people need to figure out that who they thought they were, and thus the title they chose, isn't really who they are at all. When you meet someone who goes by a certain title, you can choose to use it or not; that's the nice thing about a free society. The person in question then has the right to react, or not, to your use, or not, of the title. To me, how they react to that situation is a good show of character. When giving instruction about this topic to those who serve me, I say this: It is nothing for you to use a title. If you mean no respect by it or simply treat it as part of their name, there is no emotional attachment in it for you. It is then up to the person who you are addressing to live up to the title...or not. Master Fire My point is that unrecognized titles only have meaning to the individual. One can have an internal validation with no external whatsoever.

LadyPact -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 4:29:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I began to develop an unexplainable love of carrots, tufts of white fur began appearing in odd places, and my front teeth became noticabley longer. Add in the fact that I am crazy and the name just fit. But seriously..."Sir" is what I use in my personal relationships. Its a respect thing (something that I feal is earned) and simply a reminder for the sub of what I am to them. If they are in a personal relationship with me, then its safe to assume enough respect is present for me to require it. Outside of that, any gesture or title is at the person's discretion, something I notice and appreciate, but never require. I am very "anti-title" because traditioanlly its something bestowed upon you by other people in a community or family and I would rather have my own personal cahracter respresent me rather than a self claimed title. On a regular daily basis, the average male doesnt require you to call him "Mr. Smith" or refer to himself as "Mr. Smith" to show that he is male. Why? Because its clear he's a male. I feal the same way towards a Dom title. Why should I need people to refer me as Master Rabbit or refer to myself as such? If I have the substance to be viewed as a Master, then I dont need a title to recongize me as one. I just love it when people have a sense of humor! In your case, wouldn't "Sir" be the title you take with your sub? For that part, it seems to Me that the definition of title fits. On the second thought, being a bit old fashioned, yes, in some cases, I would still call Mr Smith exactly that. Mister Smith. I may not know his first name, or he may be in a certain position. What about writing snail mail letters? Business dealings? Various examples come to mind. I do agree to a point that some names are given by the community/family/friends, but it doesn't mean it has nothing to do with Myself. I think they are bestowed by others after observation. It's not like One walks in the door and suddenly they have a new name. Actually, wouldn't One consider their real name as one given by Their family at birth?

MasterFireMaam -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 4:41:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stranger1 You don't claim titles-your expressed nature grants them through others. ----- My point is that unrecognized titles only have meaning to the individual. One can have an internal validation with no external whatsoever. These two statements seem to contradict each other, in my head. My first point was that you don't need external validation at all if you know who you are, hence you don't need nature or anyone to give you a title. However, some do prefer to have the title bestowed. They see it as an affirmation of what they already know. My second point is that both ways are valid. You implied that only one way was the correct way...that's what I was really arguing to begin with. Master Fire

MadRabbit -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 4:41:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I began to develop an unexplainable love of carrots, tufts of white fur began appearing in odd places, and my front teeth became noticabley longer. Add in the fact that I am crazy and the name just fit. But seriously..."Sir" is what I use in my personal relationships. Its a respect thing (something that I feal is earned) and simply a reminder for the sub of what I am to them. If they are in a personal relationship with me, then its safe to assume enough respect is present for me to require it. Outside of that, any gesture or title is at the person's discretion, something I notice and appreciate, but never require. I am very "anti-title" because traditioanlly its something bestowed upon you by other people in a community or family and I would rather have my own personal cahracter respresent me rather than a self claimed title. On a regular daily basis, the average male doesnt require you to call him "Mr. Smith" or refer to himself as "Mr. Smith" to show that he is male. Why? Because its clear he's a male. I feal the same way towards a Dom title. Why should I need people to refer me as Master Rabbit or refer to myself as such? If I have the substance to be viewed as a Master, then I dont need a title to recongize me as one. I just love it when people have a sense of humor! In your case, wouldn't "Sir" be the title you take with your sub? For that part, it seems to Me that the definition of title fits. On the second thought, being a bit old fashioned, yes, in some cases, I would still call Mr Smith exactly that. Mister Smith. I may not know his first name, or he may be in a certain position. What about writing snail mail letters? Business dealings? Various examples come to mind. Generally, "Sir" is used in two ways. One is when it precedes a person's name as a title and the second is in reference to someone as a gesture of respect. Typically, I am looking for it to be used in the second way. This topic really comes down to personal philosophy and style. I just simply dont like being called "Sir Rabbit" or "Master Rabbit" or something like that for the reasons listed above. Also, being a dominant is only one fration of my identity and I am looking for more than just a submissive in my partner's identity, but a girlfriend, a lover, and a friend as well. I also care very little for things like tattoos and styles of dress to express my identity. Not to mention when it comes to the day to day workings of normal life, its kind of a pain in the ass to have a submissive reference your name with a special title since in only a small portion of circumstances they can use it without it being awkward. Its hard enough for a submissive to say "Can we buy paper towels, sir?" without getting a few looks, much less having them say "Can we buy paper towels, Master Rabbit?" So all in all, a simple "Sir" when we are in private and I want her in that submissive mindset is all I want. As far as writing letters and the Internet, you make a good point, but when it comes to those forms of communication and the notion of titles, it means very little to me in general unless the person actually knows me in RL. quote: I do agree to a point that some names are given by the community/family/friends, but it doesn't mean it has nothing to do with Myself. I think they are bestowed by others after observation. It's not like One walks in the door and suddenly they have a new name. Actually, wouldn't One consider their real name as one given by Their family at birth? Titles have as much merit as they are given by the people who use them. Just like the Constutition would just be a peice of paper if we as citizens didnt collectively abide by it. Its the substance behind the Constution that make it have more meaning besides a simple peice of paper and the substance behind a title that provides its merit. That was more my point rather than "Titles are only real if they are given by communities." I just choose to focus on the substance rather than the title. Just like I dont feal the need to get a ton of tattoos and piercings to show how much of an unique individual I am. I just am an unique individual.

Stranger1 -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 4:44:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam quote: ORIGINAL: Stranger1 You don't claim titles-your expressed nature grants them through others. ----- My point is that unrecognized titles only have meaning to the individual. One can have an internal validation with no external whatsoever. These two statements seem to contradict each other, in my head. My first point was that you don't need external validation at all if you know who you are, hence you don't need nature or anyone to give you a title. However, some do prefer to have the title bestowed. They see it as an affirmation of what they already know. My second point is that both ways are valid. You implied that only one way was the correct way...that's what I was really arguing to begin with. Master Fire I simply have the mindset that if one is truelly internally validated in thier being-titles become meaningless. It's a self confidence that moves beyond validation. The way ones knows who one is, is simply this-who is drawn to you.

lovewithoutfear -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 4:48:02 PM)
You wrote, "If I have the substance to be viewed as a Master, then I dont need a title to recongize me as one. " I agree with this sentiment, and like your way of putting it! Thank you -- sir! Peace JoyfulYes

ExSteelAgain -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 5:42:00 PM)
If I walked around expecting people to call me Steel I would be hanging out on street corners. On the other hand, this is a BDSM site and names are expected to be a little this and that. If I go to BDSM clubs I may play the role a bit, too, but meeting others, I will only use this play name if the other person only knows me by it. For instance if I met someone off CM, I would say, I'm John...ExSteel on CM. Relax, folks. Edited to add: Welcome back, Faramir. Even if I don't agree with you on this one. You post some insightful, hell raising stuff.

IrishMist -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 6:24:31 PM)
It was on sale for a buck fifty at the local thrity mart [8D]

Halley -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 6:42:10 PM)
I am dominant so I list as a Domme on collarme. I have a sub. I can not think of her as a slave. She serves me because she chooses to. She is a part of my family as well as my life. She is so much more than a sub/slave and our life is much more than just BDSM. With slaves I play with at parties and such they give me the title Mistress. That is how they want to see me. That is really all that they want to see. It's just a fantasy that the two of us act out. In my real life I carry no title. Nor do I want or need one to define myself.

oArioch -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 6:49:17 PM)
Good question, thank you for posing it. I have not read many of the responses, so please excuse me if this is redundant. I was surprised to find myself very uncomfortable with being called "Master". I was acutely aware of my shortcomings as a person, and as a Dominant. "Sir" suited me better, as an interim step. I was delighted when she took to my name for her, as if born to it.

LaMistressa -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 8:06:49 PM)
I won the swimsuit competition and the Ms. Congeniality competition?

MasterofDiscipli -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 8:07:02 PM)
Interesting question and some interesting answers. My nick here is based on the first boat I ever owned - The good peapod 'Discipline' (peapod is a small sailing dinghy), and I was her Captain - or - in the old parlance - her Master. In some respects the name of the boat was a pun (yes, I was a Dom, but sailing requires discipline as well - especially when the weather was a bit nasty and I still had to go out so that I could learn how to handle nasty weather). The good peapod has long passed to another owner, but the monicker has stuck. Personally, I find the titles a bit haha funny. I do not like to be called Sir - the polite address to a male 'sir' is used exclusively when there is a disciplinary matter under discussion. Nor do I require my sub to call me Master (I don't like the casual use of that term either over-much - Master, to me, is Master of the Vessel - that is: Captain). I prefer - and insist on the use of my name just as I prefer to use the full name of my sub. Pet names are acceptable - but they are/must be mutually acceptable. (I love the pet name you acquired spanklette - sounds like it was a good choice by the conferer) Guess I am just plain old fashioned in these regards <lol>. Hmmmm - my first post in the forum......

spanklette -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/13/2007 8:17:18 PM)
Thank you...honestly, I've never found a time when it didn't suit me. Now that I've moved, I no longer take "spanklette" to parties and such, I generally go by my own name...but it's always a part of me.[:D]

LadyPact -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/16/2007 1:43:12 AM)
Just wanted to thank everyone for their answers (even the negative ones). Glad it turned out to be an interesting topic.

lilbrattie -> RE: How did you claim your title? (4/16/2007 12:46:57 PM)
Greetings, I have read and agreed and disagreed with so many things in this thread it's almost too much to reply too, however the one thing I will say is to each their own. What one feels is or isn't a slave is their perspective and their right to say... there is no book that thoroughly describes the exact definitions of what is and isn't a slave, and the same goes for subs... I think in some ways this can be the same for Dominants, Masters, Mistresses and pretty much the whole community, you are who you feel you are inside. Everyone has their own perspective and idea of what is and isn't. Be who you are and may happiness find you. Many do or don't place a title ahead of their names, it's their choice. Once you get know the person then you'll know if they are an online or real life\person and if they do or don't match what you seek... to each their own. As for the discussion of referring to a person in a specific way, the slaves or subs in some cases, are looked at as an extension of their owner. What they do or say is what their owner would wish them to say, or that they feel their owner would be okay with them saying, however having found myself in a similar situation a few times I personally handle it this way as my owner would want me to be respectful no matter what. If I referred to a person as Master So & So out of habit and protocol and they asked me not to do so, I would simply state that I'm very sorry for doing so and ask how I could respectfully refer to them in a manner they would find pleasing. Usually this helps a bit. I have had some that know I have some Gorean background in real and online ask me to refer to them as Free Person So & So, and others say Sir/Ma'am will do... it gives you a basis for that person. There's such a variety in the lifestyle, we intermingle all the time. Don't most slaves or sub's wish to be found pleasing? That's just how this girl sees it. Well wishes to the Free, Sweet serves sisters and brothers in servitude ~ brattie ~

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