How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc.

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 12:58:40 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Greetings A/all,

How do you and your partner(s) resolve conflicts with the
in-laws, annoying friends and general pests that try to
butt into your life? Some are nosey, some are curious,
some are jealous and some just have no manners, so
what do you do?

Do you fight with them?

Try to appease them?

Declare a truce or no battle zone?

Have tense, awkward hollydays in their company
where you down the beer/wine/whiskey and try
to keep from speaking your mind?

Tell your partner(s) to visit them without you being there?

Tell them to go away?

Tell them to fuck off?

Move out of state and not tell them?

Ignore them and hope they get the hint?

Control your seething anger in their presence then vent afterwards?

Or open a can of whup-ass and go Medieval on them?

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

Post #: 1

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 1:05:51 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Got a shovel?

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 2

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 1:09:21 PM

redsky

Posts: 228
Joined: 12/28/2006
From: UK
Status: offline

Call Jerry Springer! sorry, i just couldnt resist. i stopped talking to my in laws for 3 years, they have alot more respect now!

_____________________________

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 3

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 1:11:06 PM

selfbnd411

Posts: 598
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

I don't have a partner atm, but I did want to say...very creative use of the emoticons!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 4

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 1:13:31 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

If they are my partners, I generally let him deal with them as he feels best, though I certainly will offer my opinion to him. He does the same for me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to selfbnd411)

Post #: 5

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 1:18:44 PM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

We invite the pests over for dinner, pick a fight, then throw them out of the house. It's only a temporary solution, but it sure feels great!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 1:21:32 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

LOL - you guys crack me up! So who gets stuck with the fruit cake
during the Winter Holly Days?

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)

Post #: 7

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 1:59:42 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I stick to neutral topics when at all possible. I would also take the lead from the person who is closest to the family member or friend as long as I wasn't getting trampled in the process. Friends are one thing...it's pretty eay to excuse yourself from time to time from social gatherings that include that person. Everyone should have some alone with friends without the SO time anyway IMO. But family gets a bit trickier as it usually an obligation to spend time with them for various situations.

First, there's the whole ounce of prevention. While I don't hide anything per se, I also don't feel a need to shout out my lifestyle to all and sundry. If someone does know and feels a need to ask questions, I will answer honestly but I also might warn ahead of time with an "are you sure you want an answer to this?" If it is obvious someone completely disagrees with my lifestyle choices I will try to avoid conflict with something akin to "I'm sorry you feel that way but we have made decisions based on what is right for us" and then avoid exposing them to anything overt.

It's a tough call and answers may also depend on how extreme the behavior is. Family or not, I don't deal well with outright disrespect and rudeness. If that is the case, I will generally state that all would likely be more comfortable if I was not around to offend them so.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 8

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 2:21:44 PM

aSlavesLife

Posts: 347
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline

My pet moved out of state and didn't tell them. After they sent the police to investigate here, she called and talked to her mother. When her mother got loud enough that I could hear her yelling through the phone while I was across the room I took the phone away from my pet and hung up on her. Problem solved.

_____________________________

It takes a village to raise an idiot.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 9

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 3:06:38 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Fortunetly for me, i suppose, my family happens to be very two faced and they dont like conflict.

So while there may be issues....... people might not like each other..... to your face - everyone is friendly and polite.

Everything is said and back stabbing is done when you arent there and you really only know what some one thinks because you heard it from another member of the family.

::smiles:: except for my grandfather - god love him. He's the only one who doesnt give two shits and will say excatly what he's thinking. He's generally very unpopular. Especially when he looked at my cousin and told her she looked like a tramp. HA!!

So ah.. for holidays and stuff.. or family get togethers...... if they currently dont "like" you.... you are simply not invited or even told of the event....... and if you find out....... they've about a million BS reasons as to why it went like that.

and of course...... my stepmother and i have "despised" each other for years upon years. She's done a really good job at excluding me from the family.... yet with my father on my side about it now...... every time i see her - she is just the most pleasant person on the face of the planet. Hell, she threw me a baby shower 7 years ago. Go figure LOL

my family is perfect........... just ask them

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to aSlavesLife)

Post #: 10

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 3:14:58 PM

mynded

Posts: 137
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline

I think the answer to this is a lot like the answer to the meaning of life is...let me know when you discover it please.

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 11

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/12/2007 4:15:32 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

You have my sympathies Devilslilsister. Your grandfather sounds wonderful.
Much better to say what you are thinking and feeling and get it out in the open.
The hidden lies and secrets are the worst.

(Format edit)

< Message edited by Vendaval -- 4/12/2007 4:17:31 PM >

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 12

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/13/2007 4:53:57 AM

m0rgan

Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline

tell them "like it or lump it" and don't let it bother you!

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 13

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/13/2007 5:56:25 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Just run into a similar situation.

I got to know a femdom couple before xmas and we've become friends. We've not played together or anything, but we've been to events and done plenty of other stuff together. It turned out fairly early on, that this couple's daughter went to school with my sister (20+ year gap between me and my sister), and they were friends. My sister was well known to them from various teenage parties at their house, and even my parents knew the couple from invites to normal every day parties at their house.

Realising this, and the possible revelations that might come out, we agreed to make the story that our relationship was about me teaching guitar to the guy in the couple, and this worked out well for a while. Its not that any of us are ashamed, just that its best to be careful about who knows what, especially with my UMs often accompanying me for social evenings at their place and them coming to see me at my place, with my UMs in my house.

But. Their daughter had spoken to my sister. My sister knew everything. Soon after, my parents and the rest of the family knew everything. Last weekend I was confronted about it, though I think the guitar story held up well (we do play guitar quite a bit by the way!). I found my family's approach was more curiosity than anything else, though my dad did take an interest in what the lady of the couple gets up to - nothing new for him, mind you, to chase ladies even at 60+ years of age, and I've always had my suspicions about him anyway! We talked about it a little, and I think they accepted that it was really no one else's business and they weren't hurting anyone (well, apart from the husband, but then he likes it!).

Then again, with the news I dropped on my family a few years back, I guess little else could surprise them, and having accepted that news, I think they're a lot more open minded than they ever could have otherwise been.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to m0rgan)

Post #: 14

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/13/2007 6:15:48 AM

CandleInTheWind

Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Greetings A/all,

How do you and your partner(s) resolve conflicts with the
in-laws, annoying friends and general pests that try to
butt into your life? Some are nosey, some are curious,
some are jealous and some just have no manners, so
what do you do?

Do you fight with them?
Try to appease them?
Declare a truce or no battle zone?

Have tense, awkward hollydays in their company
where you down the beer/wine/whiskey and try
to keep from speaking your mind?
Tell your partner(s) to visit them without you being there?

Tell them to go away?

Tell them to fuck off?
Move out of state and not tell them?

Ignore them and hope they get the hint?

Control your seething anger in their presence then vent afterwards?
Or open a can of whup-ass and go Medieval on them?

I have an even better question....what do you do when they are your family???.....
Believe it or not I have foufn that old adadge kill them with kindness unhinges people.....I used to tell my former hubby to drive safely every dayw when he left for work....whahhhahahahaha the little dickens was scared to drive away!!!

People will be people...my advice is invite whome you wish to share your day with...mail the other invites threee days later so they conveniently miss the event...but you did th eright thing by inviting them? LOL

red

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 15

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/13/2007 6:24:54 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I just tell them to mind their own business. They have enough issues and don't need to concern themselves with my life. That usually shuts them up for a bit.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 16

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/13/2007 6:31:12 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

Greetings

When Master is here, he resolves all and any issues that may arise with either in-laws or even my own family.

When he is gone; if the issue is of great importance, I try to resolve it by thinking of how he would like it to be resolved.

If that does not work, then I leave it until such a time as he can resolve it.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 17

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/13/2007 6:48:32 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

hmmmm....
Well my partner doesn't have issues with in-laws because I told my family to fuck off quite sometime back. They don't accept my life choices & any contact I have with them is basically me listening to them telling me that they could live my life so much better for me. That their choices are right, mine are wrong & I need to change EVERYTHING I do in order to be right. Alrighty then!

After the last visit we had, which my partner encouraged... she supported my fuck-off with her own fuck-off. No more problems on that side of the in-law branch. They aren't on the invite list for Thanksgiving Dinner & I'm not much of a card sender on any other holiday.

Now for my in-laws, her family. My partner is transsexual & her transition started prior to my entering her life. Her family hasn't accepted her transition & basically all contact they have had over the last several years was via phone. One day my son answers the phone & the person on the other end asks for Scott. Being that the name they asked for wasn't the name of anyone who lived in our home he said, I'm sorry... you have the wrong number. They insisted that they had the right number & asked for Scott again. At this point he brought the phone to me & I went through the typical, "hello, how can I help you" business. I was asked, "can I speak to Scott". I told them that they had the wrong number, there is no Scott here. They insisted. Before I could reply with my previous statement, the little light went off & I said, I'm sorry Scott's not available but Becca is here... let me get her. A sidenote to the story, my son was not fully aware of all the details (at this time, he knows now) of Becca's transition due to his age & ability to understand the complex details. He was still standing there while I was handling this call. Well, when she took the call they basically said I was a horrible person for putting them through that & that it was terrible that I was forcing them to call her by any name other than Scott. She explained that she couldn't make them deal with the reality of her transition but they had to respect her life, family & the fact that when calling her home they had to ask for her by the name that we all know her as because of the younger child... it wasn't fair that they were forcing things to go their way. This didn't go over well, they hate me & about 2 more calls after this, Becca tells her family to fuck-off.

In-law problems? We have no in-law problems.

I vote for the stress eliminating fuck-off

It works very well for us.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/13/2007 6:52:51 AM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 18

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/13/2007 6:50:24 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

quote:

I vote for the stress eliminating fuck-off
It works very well for us.

Greetings

LOL Mistress Passion

I do so enjoy your posts

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 19

RE: How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc. - 4/13/2007 7:15:09 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

Now for a little humor... well, I think its funny. If you don't then F.O.! hehehe

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Greetings A/all,

How do you and your partner(s) resolve conflicts with the
in-laws, annoying friends and general pests that try to
butt into your life? Some are nosey, some are curious,
some are jealous and some just have no manners, so
what do you do?

Do you fight with them?

**Maybe if someone would video tape it & we could sell the footage on pay-per-view... we could beat out Ultimate Fighting Challenge in ratings & revenue.

Try to appease them?

**Naaaaaaaaaaaa, not in my nature

Declare a truce or no battle zone?

**Ask anyone who has tried this what hurt worse... the knife going in your back or pulling it back out?

Have tense, awkward hollydays in their company
where you down the beer/wine/whiskey and try
to keep from speaking your mind?

**How about we just show up & down all their beer/wine/whiskey & while we are at it, bring tupperware & pack "doggie bags" off the food spread... then speed out leaving a patch in the lawn where we slide sideways. Might resolve the issue of having to spend the next holiday with them where we suppress speaking our minds... it ain't healthy to bottle things up!

Tell your partner(s) to visit them without you being there?

**Yeah right... you're already dealing with the issues of the assholes who don't live with you... do you really want to make your partner go deal with them on their own? Your partner is going to be pissed at you from removing their ability to use the excuse of "we" can't make it anymore.

Tell them to go away?

**They always come back... they're just like stray cats.

Tell them to fuck off?

**My last post shows my support of this option
Move out of state and not tell them?

**I like Florida, I'm a tropical gal. They can leave.

Ignore them and hope they get the hint?

**Naaa... it's that stray cat thing, they don't take a hint that they aren't wanted.

Control your seething anger in their presence then vent afterwards?

**Answered that one earlier... bottling up things isn't healthy.

Or open a can of whup-ass and go Medieval on them?

**Hummm, just doubled up the media source for capital gain on that one... sell the R rated footage to cable pay-per-view & the X-rated on some seethy underground internet based site... it could get ugly, are snuff films still marketable?

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/13/2007 7:20:27 AM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How do you resolve problems with the in-laws, etc.

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094