A groupie?

A groupie? (Full Version)

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gypsygrl -> A groupie? (4/12/2007 6:51:19 PM)
Ok, I've been wrestling with this for a while now because I haven't been able to clearly define what I'm about. I know I don't make a good girlfriend. I'm way too pragmatic for that and don't really need to be taken out. My vanilla interests are rather solitary and not the sort of thing one does with a companion. I like sharing everyday activities, but can also do them alone. I know I'm a good partner because I am so pragmatic; and I'm also loyal and committed. Sometimes I think "slave" works, because when I think of a slave, I think of someone totally committed to their other and willing to devote themselves to them, but I don't have any compelling need to be in a relationship and I can't wrap my thoughts around the idea of a slave without a Master. At times I think of myself as a barnacle just looking for a ship to attach to, but I'm not quite that passive, so that doesn't really work. So, I've been thinking about previous interests and what's really worked for me and what hasn't and I realized I've very attracted to people with strong public presences, even though I don't have one myself. I just like standing back and watching them, admiring them and stuff like that. I don't want to be involved in what they do, except in a very secondary/ supportive way. I just want to see them do it and succeed and be happy and all that. My relationship with my ex had that quality. And I was talking with an old friend I used to get together with and our relationship was very much organized around that kind of dynamic. A couple times he took me to the casino and let me watch while he played cards, and I was in 7th heaven. Another woman might have felt ignored but it was perfect for me. So, I'm like thinking, maybe I'm not a submissive (though I'm very good at submitting) and maybe I not a slave. Or a girlfriend or even a barnacle. Maybe I'm just a groupie. It sounds so right to me. I dunno. Its such a compelling idea, I had to share it too find out other people's thoughts.

missturbation -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 6:55:19 PM)
Maybe a passive groupie as a groupie wants to be part of everything that the person they are fantasising about does and would jump to be centre of attention usually.

gypsygrl -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 7:03:38 PM)
Perhaps. I'm thinking more of the idea of hanging around back stage and remaining in the background.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 7:08:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl So, I'm like thinking, maybe I'm not a submissive (though I'm very good at submitting) and maybe I not a slave. Or a girlfriend or even a barnacle. Maybe I'm just a groupie. It sounds so right to me. I dunno. Its such a compelling idea, I had to share it too find out other people's thoughts. I think you make a compelling reason here and if it feels right for you, embrace it. Just be prepared to explain your meaning countless times. I think it's nifty. For a few months in DC I had an "entourage." It was bestowed upon me by a few of my groupies and I fought against it for awhile, but they all seemed to like the idea and I had to admit that's pretty much what they were with me. It was cool and I was sorry to see it fraction so soon. Such is life.

missturbation -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 7:13:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl Perhaps. I'm thinking more of the idea of hanging around back stage and remaining in the background. Ahhhhhhh i'm with you - yes then good analogy. [:D] And if you are happy with it ..........

gypsygrl -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 7:24:12 PM)
quote: Just be prepared to explain your meaning countless times. Well, yeah. For practical purposes, I'll probably stick with submissive. But, it can't be any harder to explain than the Ship/barnacle dynamic I've been working with. :) But, yes, the idea of the entourage is a perfect elaboration. I've always been attracted to poly but I'm mostly monogamous. I just think its fine and dandy for my partner to have others. Like, every good Dominant should have an entourage. It just seems to be in the order of things.

gypsygrl -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 7:25:35 PM)
Thank you for being with me. :) Sometimes I feel like I'm really out there in left field.

missturbation -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 7:28:09 PM)
Your welcome. I used to work with a rock band and was picturing the groupies i dealt with. I forgot about the ones you mentioned afterwards who hung backstage and watched. Don't feel alone i'll bet theres more than you can relate to your thread [:D]

BondageTopJere -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 7:49:50 PM)
"Devotee" or "follower" seems to be a more apt description than groupie to me. Its sounds very much like you enjoy being in orbit around a charismatic person, but not so strongly pulled that you crash into them.

hawkwolf7 -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 7:52:27 PM)
Just one person's opinion, but to my (yeah, ok, twisted) way of looking at things, the way you operate fits well within my definition of submissive. You don't seem "out there" at all. While I personally am not one of them, I talk to lots of them who are looking for... no, who are desparate for what you have to offer. More precisely, I would say that the majority fall into that category. One other comment, the way you are is very similar to how a well trained leather submissive/bottom behaves. The Dom who finds you won't even have to train you! Best of Luck! HawkWolf

gypsygrl -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 8:02:02 PM)
quote: Its sounds very much like you enjoy being in orbit around a charismatic person, but not so strongly pulled that you crash into them. Yes, the orbit idea. I even have that in my profile. :) And, crashing is bad for me. There's a point where the gravitational pull gets too strong and thats exactly what happens.

gypsygrl -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 8:05:24 PM)
quote: One other comment, the way you are is very similar to how a well trained leather submissive/bottom behaves. Ok. I have no idea. But, since I was a kid, like in my teens, I've had a thing about old leather. I know its a gay male schtick, and I'm not, but still, all my early imagery of this stuff revolved around that. I like the austerity of the Top/bottom dynamic.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 8:38:08 PM)
Perhaps you're "Support Personnel"? chuckle I'm an exhibitionist. The idea of someone standing and just watching what I'm doing is kinda hot. Well, unless I'm like on the toilet or something. LOL But you can come and watch me spin fire sometime. ;-) Master Fire

BondageTopJere -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 8:45:47 PM)
quote: Yes, the orbit idea. I even have that in my profile. :) And, crashing is bad for me. There's a point where the gravitational pull gets too strong and thats exactly what happens. [sm=ofcourse.gif] Thats what i get for reading too fast. I have an annoying tendency to skip lines in a paragraph when I'm reading. To be fair, it does seem that your looking for a dispassionate approach from a potential dom. Its not that he does or doens't want you there, but one that is indifferent to your presense most of the time, taking it for granted while your there to provide him with what he needs. Giving assitance if its required, but at other times fading in the woodwork, an observer at once close and far. Got a serious attraction to either black or grey, strictly neutral tones, by any chance?

hawkwolf7 -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 8:48:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl quote: One other comment, the way you are is very similar to how a well trained leather submissive/bottom behaves. Ok. I have no idea. But, since I was a kid, like in my teens, I've had a thing about old leather. I know its a gay male schtick, and I'm not, but still, all my early imagery of this stuff revolved around that. I like the austerity of the Top/bottom dynamic. The good news is that it isn't just a gay male or gay female thing. There are lots of straight Doms (Men and Women) who are into High or Medium Protocol... they love the structure and discipline of it, especially in public venues. They will feel truly blessed to find you. I suspect that like them, you just like protocol. HW

littlesarbonn -> RE: A groupie? (4/12/2007 9:30:23 PM)
I may be pegging this wrong, but maybe not. I think you're fitting my definition of what I call a dedicated submissive friendship. When I was in Michigan, I wasn't involved with any dominants, but I became seriously involved with a woman for whom I cared deeply who was probably my closest friend. We spent great deals of time together, and I felt much like you state when you use the term groupie. She knew I was submissive, and as a result, she knew pretty much how far she could go with the two of us, and she never really did anything that enhanced that further, because the relationship worked fine without having to go deeper than that. I'm sure this is the male submissive counterpart of what you're describing, but she would drag me along with her when she was having drinks out with female friends, and none of them ever had any problem with me being there, and it was just very comfortable. I was almost always the only guy there at these types of outings, and it was kind of nice. Most of the women knew I was of a submissive nature, and a few times when it was unclear, my friend would just laugh it off as "it's okay, he's submissive," and there would be a small round of laughter, but not of humiliation; just comfortable clarification.

WhiplashSmile -> RE: A groupie? (4/13/2007 12:00:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl quote: Just be prepared to explain your meaning countless times. Well, yeah. For practical purposes, I'll probably stick with submissive. But, it can't be any harder to explain than the Ship/barnacle dynamic I've been working with. :) But, yes, the idea of the entourage is a perfect elaboration. I've always been attracted to poly but I'm mostly monogamous. I just think its fine and dandy for my partner to have others. Like, every good Dominant should have an entourage. It just seems to be in the order of things. Holy Crap.. this is really thought provoking thread for me. It's made me stop, think and realize a few more things. I never really looked at or viewed groupies as being submissives or an entourage as being the same. I always considered this to be part of the package deal with playing guitar in the bands. However, I totally see where you are coming from. At least from my own Dom experience and perspective. In terms of people being there wanting to please me and in exchange for being accepted into the click of things. I've even had t-bones steaks cooked up on BBQ's at 4am in the morning by Groupies hoping to get laid.. Wow... offers for all kinds of things. Hell in terms of this, I can even see the straight guys that wanted to be of Service and fit in as well. Wow, submissives... I never put this connection together in my head until reading this post. Entourages or should I say "The group"... I never really considered this in BDSM Dom handbook. Because Most of these I would never do a BDSM scene with. I have a rule about not sleeping with groupies, who the hell knows where they have been. However, when BDSM play and sex are removed. This is a D/s relationship going on. Even more so... Hell no wonder I am somewhat spoiled at times. I can probally come up with Endless examples where these types like to watch and enjoy what one does, also are ready to do things at a drop of a dime unpon request, how they are looking for ways to serve and please. Wow.. Alrighty now, my mind is absorbing this at an alarming rate...

Viridana -> RE: A groupie? (4/13/2007 4:56:21 AM)
The few groupies I've met have all got one thing in common and that was not to be backstage and admire and support. They were in it to get their own 15 minutes of fame. They were in it to be able to put something on their "CV" so to speak. Based on that I wouldn't categorize what you described to being a groupie.

gypsygrl -> RE: A groupie? (4/13/2007 5:37:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Perhaps you're "Support Personnel"? chuckle I'm an exhibitionist. The idea of someone standing and just watching what I'm doing is kinda hot. Well, unless I'm like on the toilet or something. LOL But you can come and watch me spin fire sometime. ;-) Master Fire There is something voyeristic about it, though not in a peeping tom way--not that there's anything wrong with that between consenting adults :). Its more that I get vicarious satisfaction out of other people's perfomances. And the idea of bottoming just so a top can demonstrate his skill is certainly appealing, and I love listening to a top explain their craft even though I have little interest in topping. So, the supporting role does capture my imagination. Spinning fire sounds really cool. Exactly the sort of thing one would want to watch. :)

gypsygrl -> RE: A groupie? (4/13/2007 5:39:21 AM)
quote: Got a serious attraction to either black or grey, strictly neutral tones, by any chance? Most definitly!

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