Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve an... - 4/13/2007 12:38:11 AM   
DemureMe


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings everyone....i would just like to ask your views and thoughts on a sub learning and exploring the aspects and nature of a Dom with the goal to better serve and please....
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 12:40:06 AM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		I feel that it is a good thing to understand each side of the kneel.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to DemureMe)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 6:34:47 AM   
BondageTopJere


Posts: 170
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

I feel that it is a good thing to understand each side of the kneel.


Honestly, not doing so seems as strange and unnatural as not trying to breathe.

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 7:30:25 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Why would you NOT do this? How could you possible serve well if you DON'T do this? *scratches head* It seems that this is the POINT of service to me.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to DemureMe)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 8:39:03 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		From the s-side, I'm ambivalent.  Its the sort of thing that I do naturally, and because of my background in social science, I've been 'trained' in systematic observation.  So, I'm pretty good at it and am an astute observer.

But, because I'm so good, I worry that I 'see' things the other person may not be aware of or only vaguely aware of and I find that I get uncomfortable being privy to such information.  Plus, because I pick up on so much, I often get myself into a situation where I'm aware of things that contradict the other's stated intentions and explicit knowledge about themselves.

Gosh, I spend a lot of time wishing I could turn this part of my brain off.  I do tend to only act on explict commands in order to allow the person the space to be who they think they are and want to be.  Sometimes, I'll ask if they want x, y or z.



< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 4/13/2007 8:40:36 AM >

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to DemureMe)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 9:06:44 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
(Just so you know - you need only post once in any area, as the mods don't allow multiposts)
Peace


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to DemureMe)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 9:32:40 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DemureMe

Greetings everyone....i would just like to ask your views and thoughts on a sub learning and exploring the aspects and nature of a Dom with the goal to better serve and please....



I don't see the need to do it.  Given a finite amount of time I'd rather learn the specifics of what my owner prefers from the fact that he likes his food on the salty side, likes to put his toes in the ocean for any vacation, and the brand/flavor of water he prefers.  Those things will help be serve better and please him better. 

Switching is a *me* focused journey that would help me learn more about myself, but doesn't do anything for quality of service.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to DemureMe)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 9:36:59 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		Oh, I didn't read this as a question about switching.  My reply makes no sense.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 9:43:03 AM   
steviemichael


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

(Just so you know - you need only post once in any area, as the mods don't allow multiposts)
Peace
I notice  the person post a *differnt* question which i am sure the mod notice the differnce 

_____________________________

switch/submissive male walking in the path of and learning of my true desires and enjoying what i am discovering

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 9:45:13 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Every Dom/Master is different for instance my Master likes his coffee black no sugar another may like his light and sweet or not like coffee at all. As wild said i would rather spend time leararing what MY Master likes.

If this is switching aint gonna happen i don't see the sense in it. Al least not from where i am standing.  If it works for you great .



Matt's littleone

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 9:58:00 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		No, I didn't say it was switching or even that it worked for me.  I thought the question was about learning  about a particular dominant in order to better serve them and answered with that in mind.  

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 10:04:15 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry gypsy that was a quick reply was not directed at you was directed to the OP.

Matt's littleone


(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 10:07:09 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		Oh, ok.  My mistake. :)

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 10:08:34 AM   
DemureMe


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		this is not in any way a question about switching, your thoughts would be highly appreciated and greatly help me in my search of the knowledge  to be a better sub thus please my Dom....

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 10:11:44 AM   
steviemichael


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

Every Dom/Master is different for instance my Master likes his coffee black no sugar another may like his light and sweet or not like coffee

If this is switching aint gonna happen i don't see the sense in it. Al least not from where i am standing.  If it works for you great .

but suppose one day you decided to have your coffee without sugar  would you claim  because you change  one desire that mean you are totally *switching*



Matt's littleone


_____________________________

switch/submissive male walking in the path of and learning of my true desires and enjoying what i am discovering

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 10:52:52 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DemureMe

this is not in any way a question about switching, your thoughts would be highly appreciated and greatly help me in my search of the knowledge  to be a better sub thus please my Dom....


Have you asked him what he considers the key components of a good submissive?  Have you paid attention to his reactions when you do certain things (or when other people do certain things?

Those are good first places to start on how to become a better submissive for your dominant.

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to DemureMe)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 12:56:39 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		I'm not sure I understand exactly what you're asking, but I'll give it a shot.

Pay attention to everything and listen.  It's about learning what he likes and doesn't like, wants and doesn't want, needs and doesn't need, etc.  Storing what you learn and using it when it's appropriate.

And most importantly, him communicating to you what he needs, wants and desires from you.


(in reply to DemureMe)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 6:27:27 PM   
Mustardseed


Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline 		It depends on the Dom, really.

Some dominants prefer that the submissive only react to what they're told to do, period, unless it's an actual emergency. They don't want to feel second-guessed, as though the submissive knows more about their desires than they do. In a less strict sense, they want the submissive to have an idea of what the dominant would like, but not to feel that they know exactly ... ala Kevin Smith's Dogma.

Other dominants look forward to the time when they have a submissive so well trained that other than minor corrections for the sake of whimsy ("Actually, I'll have the green robe tonight. I'm not in a red mood."), the dominant gets almost exactly the service they want from their submissive from the moment they awake to the moment their eyes close -- without having to request a single thing.

Do you have any idea of which way your dominant would like to go with these options?

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 7:45:41 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Why would you NOT do this? How could you possible serve well if you DON'T do this? *scratches head* It seems that this is the POINT of service to me.

Master Fire


Take this one step further.  What does it mean to be in intimate relationship with someone you don't want to get to know.  Whatever side of the slash -- he seeks to know me as much as I seek to know him.  It's a two-way street and anything else would not work for me.  Hell, without the slash, most people in relationship theoretically want to know the other -- friends, lovers, etc.


_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serv... - 4/13/2007 8:02:14 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DemureMe

this is not in any way a question about switching, your thoughts would be highly appreciated and greatly help me in my search of the knowledge  to be a better sub thus please my Dom....


My direction is that of assuming you are brand new to this. If your Sir doesn't give you directions or orders, ask for them. Do things for him you think he would like. If he doesn't like what you're doing, he will tell you. When he tells you to quit doing something, quit doing something.

When you address him, try addressing him by title, like "Master" or "Sir" - it shows respect that some D's and M's like. When you greet him, if you are in the proper venue (as in private or at an event where it wouldn't look odd), kneel before him, legs spread, palms open and upward, the backs of your hands resting on your thighs, eyes down. Some Masters like this, others will put you on your knees when they want you there.

Beg to please him, whatever his kink is. Practice alone in the car if you have to. Practice until it sounds real. Practice until you feel it in your heart. "Pleeeaaasssse Master, please allow me to suck your cock" (and add your own embellishments).

Ask him direct questions. Give him direct responses. If you don't understand something, ask for clarity. If you don't like something, say so (respectfully of course). Good luck to you. It can be a steep learning curve a most satisfying journey on the way up.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to DemureMe)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078