Inquisition
Posts: 7
Joined: 4/25/2005 Status: offline
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Hello Mercnbeth, hello All- I am a newbie Dom who less than a day ago posted in various places around this site that I'm brand-spanking-new to the 24/7 lifestyle, and am interested in the advice and experiences of others who care to chip in their two cents worth. I have to say that I'm impressed with the level of sincereity, interest and intelligent insight that is being expressed in this thread as well as in personal replies to my own postings. Having had mentors in other aspects of my life, and seeing the value of their input and example, I am comfortable in seeking out friends, 'sounding boards', and conversation regarding a wide variety of topics relating to the lifestyle. Signing on with someone for mentorship hasn't been the way I've done it in the vanilla world, instead I've noted a cumulative wisdom emanating from the words and deeds of another and through this cumulative process finally realized that this person, even though they may have never known it, had become my teacher. Sometimes one finds others with greater experience and if the ability to communicate fluidly with that person develops, then a natural mentoring occurs. That's what has worked best for me, not to say that its what would work for others. I've always had a problem with authority figures, so I've never gone to someone looking to be their pupil or to be mentored. Having a dominant personality, its hard to submit to the will of others, so formal education of all sorts was always hard for me to take because of the proscribed Teacher / Student relationship where the student is generally required to act as a sub and treat the teacher like a Dom or Domme. Respect for one's elders is one thing, but having been burned one too many times I came to the conclusion that respect is earned, not given. In all honesty, I do assume a rather high level of respectfulness towards those with greater experience than I, and have learned to not be devastated or even all that concerned if it turns out they have ulterior motives; I just take what fits into my own life lessons and leave the rest. Even a wolf in sheep's clothing can share valid insights with you, the trick is to not let anyone take advantage of you (unless you have a fetish for that sort of thing). Okay, well I've spoken to this point quite long enough for one stint here, suffice it to say that this new Dom isn't seeking a mentor, I'm seeking insights borne of experience. If a lot of those insights come to me from the same person, then oneday I may reflect upon the relationship and say that person was or still is my mentor.
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