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Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 1:20:13 PM

TantricOne

Posts: 28
Joined: 6/20/2006
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Just wondering is it real d/s, fear to take it to the next level, in person? Aside from general exploration, seems that the physicality is left out, conveniently disregarding r/t punishment/reward, for a mental exercise. To truly practice the lifestyle, is not active participation within each other's lives just as important as words on a screen? One would think so lol. And what if an actual meeting were to occur, a more definite bond because of cyberspace, or dissapointment with reality? Scening is an important part of the dynamics as well. Any comments appreciated, thanks

Post #: 1

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 1:28:04 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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It depends on what you're looking for and what motivates you. The two ends of the dichotamy: There are people out there who live in their head. To these people, online activity is the same as, or better than, offline. There are people out there who live in their bodies. To these people, online activity is shunned totally (not just cyber, but all but the most basic communication via the internet) and only physical interaction has real meaning. My girl is like the latter. I'm not so far up that scale; I don't shun online communication so much (as if that's not obvious).

Master Fire

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(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 2

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 1:47:37 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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methinks this is another one of those r/t is better than online montage again ...or that a cyberdom/cybersub aren't "twue" because they don't have "real" experience - your opinion. now here's mine. i'm in a committed ldr with Daddy for personal reasons- actually 2 - my UMs. that being said, Daddy and i have a real relationship just like everyone else who has a r/t within their D/s dynamic. i know there are many who look down at cyber D/s however your kink isn't my type of kink and everyone should respect that.

my 2 pennies of the day

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RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 2:13:39 PM

TigressFL

Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline

While I enjoy communicating online with people I have no desire to have a romantic relationship online/phone. I require it to be real time but not everyone does. That is their business. I do not get into the greater than or less than debate... it is simply "different" which implies neither! I tell people if you do not like online only relationships... don't have one, that simple lol

Tigress~FL

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 4

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 2:22:42 PM

Stranger1

Posts: 219
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

I take any level of interactions as honest in nature-until someone shows me otherwise. Cyber can be the doorway to much finer things-but if you never pass beyond it-then no, I stop taking it seriously.

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 5

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 2:25:24 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Scening is not a part of everyone's relationship.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_640594/mpage_1/key_internet/tm.htm#640674
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_514363/mpage_1/key_online/tm.htm#514671
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_243191/mpage_2/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#243396
Online or Distance relationships

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(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 6

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 2:25:49 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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quote:

Just wondering is it real d/s

It is as real as those involved believe it to be, just as e real world relationship is just as real as those involved believe it to be. Online relationships can be very meaningful, and can last years and years.
Myself, I, like many on here, don't really want an online or LD relationship, and prefer real life (I like to feel the impact and hear the sharp intake of breath as the flogger goes THWACK!!

), circumstances can intervene and force one into just such a situation. I would not belittlwe a relationship simply because it is online, however I have my doubts as to just how much D/s there is in such a relationship. However, upon thinking about it, perhaps the sub who can shut the Dom up simply by pushing a button, yet doesn't, is in fact surrendering a very potent aspect of the relationship, and thus there is a power exchange (remember, even the most hard-core slave is a slave by consen).

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(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 7

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 2:28:17 PM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

I think both can work equally well and it very much depends from person to person as to how they can interact on line or how they can interact in real time.
Words are incredibly powerful things and using the written word as a means to D/s takes a huge amount of imagination because there are fewer things at ones finger tips.

When I am doing this in real life I see expressions. I see the eyes glaze (or not) and I see the persons bodily responses (or not). On line, unless you have a webcam, you don’t see any of that but have to rely very much on the written word that hopefully bounces back to you. You have to trust the sub enough that when you ask him/her to do a task, that they really will and not just say they have done it. I also think that online cyber betters the imagination. I have done many things in real life that first started off on the drawing room floor of cyber play and I have done some successful cyber play that has been tested out first in real life.
Many people say that if you do this real time then you would never consider cyber playing. I say they are wrong and Im proof of that!

The other thing I would just like to say to all those that mock online love is, I have 2 sets of couples I know that are now living together that started off as online lovers. I relate it very much to Hindu and Muslim people who very often do not meet their marital partner till the day of their wedding and yet through communication of the internet and letters they have fallen in love with the person they are about to spend the rest of their lives with.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 8

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 2:32:02 PM

OnlyHis

Posts: 137
Joined: 2/25/2004
Status: offline

It is as real as the people who are in the relationship feel it is. Whether online or real time. I was online with Master for a year before i finally made the first visit. That was not because of any fear , it had more to do with when we were both ready for that step. The trust was well on the way to being built, my faith in that Master was knowledgeable not just of the lifestyle but had gotten to know who i was inside to. As i did with Him.
I was not disappointed in the least during my first visit to Master. He was all i knew He was and more. Since then it has only gotten better and i have learned and grown and much of that is still online. Emotionally and mentally being online has brought me closer and closer to Him. Physically i have the patience till i can be with Master again .
Scening does not necessarily have to be a part of any lifestyle relationship. There are many other aspects that can be just as or even more important .

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 9

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 2:34:48 PM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

Greetings

Relationships of ANY kind are as real as what the people involved put into them.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 10

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 2:41:35 PM

DocTSH

Posts: 109
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

It is real, though not very common in my opinion. I met my little girl online when I wasn't even looking. Her inteligence is what made me want to know her, and we both fell in love with each other before we met. Once we did, it was confirmed to the enth degree. She got caught in the seatbelt trying to get out of the car to kiss me the first time our eyes met! Still cracks me up! LMAO!

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At times like these, I think of Socrates who said, " I drank what?" -Real Genius

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 11

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 2:58:09 PM

TigerNINTails

Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

Absolutely.

I've had offline relationships, I've had online relationships, offline scenes, online scenes, scenes that started online and wound up being expressed offline and scenes I put to paper offline, or even implemented offline and brought the general elements online...

Let me tell you, the difference isn't a chasm... It's a medium. In your face reality is what you make of it, just as online reality is really just more of the same.

I've owned a girl, that lives two states away from me for two years now. I trained her for 2 months before that, when she suddenly burst out with begging to be mine. Now, while that did actually shock me for a moment, the reasoning behind what she was asking was much more important.

The relationships I build are real. The people I interact with are real. My responses are real, and everything I express online, I do for real. Our LDR is not something that will remain thus, but I need to tie up some loose ends, before I can bring her to me, or go to her, or both, as the case may be... I'm not overly picky, though I'm not a fan of where she lives.

Hell, I'm not a fan of where I live.

In any case, the point being is that as jauntyone just pointed out, online is as real for people in D/s, M/s, Gor, BDSM, B&D, S&M, whatever... As you can make it. Sometimes, the impact on the mind is greater than you'd expect, given what you write.

Online for writers is awesome, as it hones creative writing skills, when you're actually sceneing, and scening physically doesn't have to happen for everyone. My slut's a bit too sexually driven, so I allow some interaction with others... With her being bi, it's not hard for her to find a female play partner, and I've met, over the phone, some people she trusts where she lives (near her, rather) that I don't mind instilling some discipline.

However, the mental discipline that I instill in my training of slaves online is more important than any red ass could ever be. And when a slave holds herself to it online, that to me is the ultimate test.

Sometimes you don't know. Sometimes you just do. I have a webcam I watch most days anyway, so I do know... But not all people do. But it isn't the point, now is it? I suppose the point is that despite all the doubters and hecklers, online can and will be just as real to some as offline play is for others.

For those that think this not to be true should likely just stay offline then... Because whether they want to admit it or not, the person that replies to this post and the people whom this post replies to, aren't simply pixels on a screen... We're on the other side of keyboards, and we're living people...

Anything you can do with another person, no matter the medium is real for you and them... Unless they're ignorant of themselves, or you, in which case...

Why waste your time?

Peace.

(in reply to jauntyone)

Post #: 12

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 3:11:35 PM

TantricOne

Posts: 28
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline

Oh, I forgot to mention sex, something that really doesn't happen for real unless face-to-face lol

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 13

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 3:33:05 PM

Stranger1

Posts: 219
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

Oh, I forgot to mention sex, something that really doesn't happen for real unless face-to-face lol

Don't be too sure about that.

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 14

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 3:40:16 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

To truly practice the lifestyle, is not active participation within each other's lives just as important as words on a screen? One would think so lol.

You might be amazed at how much someone who's far away and that perhaps we've never even met) can participate in our lives. You say in your profile that "expression of needs is expected and encouraged." -- Can you think of a better way to express yourself than in a letter, or on line in a chat program. With and OPEN mind and all of the modern technology available today (i.e. quill and parchment, teletype, pony express, faxes, netmeeting, telephones, computers, camcorders., etc.) i would think it could be better than ever. (i'm gonna shut up now before i get myself truly in trubble..lol).

Good luck, oh trantric one.

jimmini

(PS -- thanks for sending him the links, LA..doubt i'd be able to do that right now..lol)

< Message edited by krikket -- 4/15/2007 4:08:41 PM >

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(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 15

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 3:41:07 PM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails

Absolutely.

I've had offline relationships, I've had online relationships, offline scenes, online scenes, scenes that started online and wound up being expressed offline and scenes I put to paper offline, or even implemented offline and brought the general elements online...

Let me tell you, the difference isn't a chasm... It's a medium. In your face reality is what you make of it, just as online reality is really just more of the same.

Online for writers is awesome, as it hones creative writing skills, when you're actually sceneing, and scening physically doesn't have to happen for everyone.

Anything you can do with another person, no matter the medium is real for you and them... Unless they're ignorant of themselves, or you, in which case...

Why waste your time?

Peace.

Excellent post

(in reply to TigerNINTails)

Post #: 16

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 3:42:26 PM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

Oh, I forgot to mention sex, something that really doesn't happen for real unless face-to-face lol

Ah but is it just about physical sex?

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 17

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 4:01:42 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

And so the age old philosophical question arises...

Is the Matrix real?

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(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 18

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 4:25:44 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

As a Domme, I get to use this great little word. Preference. While I don't wish to take away from anyone's electronic relationship, I prefer r/t. It's just something that I want because I do want the in person sceneing, sexual performance, and all other aspects of being "in the flesh". One of the primary reasons that I would hope to find My next boy locally or what I consider within reason.

Electronic is still a great enhancement. I've stayed in contact with one of My past subs a lot via the net. (Cam is a great asset in this area, btw, as I used to literally be able to watch him carry out My instructions.) I wouldn't say the chats that W/we had that way weren't real, but I wouldn't want to just not ever physically be with someone. It's too important to Me.

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 19

RE: Virtually is it real? The cyberdom and cybersub - 4/15/2007 4:56:13 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

We started online, and having been LDR for a couple of years with about six weeks between visits we stayed online for quite a while. However we still don't go in for punishment/reward. I like him to be pleased by what I do so I don't need to be chased around the house with a crop to be forced to get something done.

Is being together better? Of course. But I've known people with chronic debilitating illnesses who are open that they can't do anything in the flesh, so online is all they have as an option.

In addition, I would rather be online with someone who can engage my mind than in the flesh with someone who bores me senseless.

If you don't like online then don't do it, but there's no reason to try to prevent others from doing things they do like. Or do you go around telling foot worshippers that they shouldn't do that because you don't approve?

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 20

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