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Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 12:22:07 AM   
firesign


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline 		I know that this is a little unorthodox, but I've decided to work on mastering myself.  What I mean by that is that I intend to change bad habits and develop new good ones though a points system.  I intend to have *fun* with this, and I think that if it wasn't fun, I probably wouldn't keep doing it for long.   Adding the BDSM side to it serves as motivation for me - because it's fun.  :)  The project serves to both enrich me for *me*, and I also believe that should I ever find myself with a Dominant, the good submissive presents herself in the best form she can be.  So until I find the Dom for me, I will spend my time improving myself.  Let me explain the system...

There is a list of things I can earn points for completing in a day.  After earning 100 points, I've earned the right to cum as much as I want the following day.  100 points is the bare minimum requirement, if you will.  Up to 150 earns some sort of punishment.  (I designed it intentionally such that there would be days where I'd be punished and then get to enjoy the fact with my orgasm...  and thanks to the sadist in me, the worse punishments also coincide with not being allowed to get off to the fact that I punished myself!  lol)

So once I've earned all the points I'm going to earn in a day, the number determines an intensity of punishment.  The day of the week determines the activity.  I've got six activities, and I'm at a loss for one more. 

Monday - Standing  feet a foot away from a wall, hands behind my back, tongue to the wall
Tuesday - Kneeling on rice
Wednesday - Running up and down the stairs (I'm not big on exercise... so these are both painful and productive  :) )
Thursday - Crunches
Friday - Maintaining a 45 degree squat with 5 full squats every minute, never completely straightening
Saturday - Cold Shower
Sunday - Help!  lol

I've put the plan in action, and it's quite effective so far.  I get some fulfillment out of simply typing in the points I've earned.  (It's all in a spreadsheet... yes, I'm a nerd. ;) )

So if anyone has any ideas for that seventh day, or has better ideas for the other days, I'm all ears.  This is version 1.1, and I'm not opposed to revision.  :)  (Though revising to avoid something is out of the question... lol)

firesign



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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 12:36:13 AM   
TheShadows


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline 		Writing some sort of self-affirmation.....500 times.

Good Luck,
~MrsShadows~

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to firesign)
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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 6:49:42 AM   
ExtremeOwnerIL


Posts: 197
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		firesign -

Without knowing you, I'm not sure I'm clear on what you hope to achieve here. Is this list the 'punishments' or the 'rewards' or the things you are going to be doing to 'master yourself?'

I'm more curious about the things you want to improve, the things you are going to work on and the things you are going to achieve. Are you going to work on bad habits with regards to mind or body?

To be honest, this list sounds like self- fantasy fulfillment. A punishment is something that teaches a lesson and discourages bad behavior, yet are these things that are actually 'fun' for you? It sounds like something a masochist would enjoy, not be deterred by.

I understand this is a partial list, but when you ask for help, it helps to have full context.

You should not be dissuaded from trying to better yourself. To me, the value of a person is not just that they can submit, but they submit from strength, from a self confidence and assurance that they have. I believe that the more a person is in touch with themselves and connected to the the things that they are interested in, the more confidence and self mastery they have.

Good luck.
EO

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 7:34:58 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Kneeling on rice can seriously damage the knees. If you must deal with rice, pick it up and put it back in the bag one grain at a time. You can do laps for every 100 grains if you want.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 7:50:08 AM   
fadeddreams


Posts: 17
Joined: 3/16/2007
Status: offline 		Ok, i'm more than a little confused.  You have bad habits that you want to break, and you have set up a "reward/punishment" system to help yourself?  From your list, i don't see any rewards per se...and i don't see any clue as to what habits you are trying to break...

i think you need to make a direct connection between a certain distasteful activity...such as running up and down the stairs, and a habit that you are trying to break, such as unhealthy eating habits.

Funny thing is... a "punishment" is meant to teach...and if you are.."enjoying" the punishment...what are you learning.  A punishment...should be something that is not enjoyed...in any way, shape or form...before, during, or after.

Perhaps, an extended conversation with a Dominantly type...who would be willing to offer guidance...and perhaps suggest some...punishments that are suitable to the "crimes" is in order.

faded

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Faded Dreams

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 7:58:49 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Thur & Fri are good, the rest seems like wastes of energy and time.

Why not a good exercise program every day?  Try swimming for low impact. 

Perhaps one "happy fun thing" and one "tough thing" to do.  You could make yourself masturbate for a half hour before you cum, AND make yourself clean out all your kitchen cabinets.  You could let yourself go to the movies AND not drink soda all day.

Keeping it fun is great, but I'd say keep it applicable to your real life and something that you can see how you make the change.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 9:39:42 AM   
firesign


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline 		Okay, okay, okay!  lol

I'm going to try to explain a little bit more and then see if I've answered all the questions. 

The key part is the orgasm line.  Anything above the orgasm line is "punishment" and anything below is Punishment.  The idea of punishment does turn me on immensely, so having to do it and then not cum for a whole day is definitely motivation to not let the points slip that low. 

The things I can earn points for are housework, getting schoolwork done, eating right, initiating conversation with a person (I'm a bit of a hermit at school), exercising, doing kegels ;), etc.  The reason I emphasized the "fun" side of it is that if I make something fun, I'm more likely to do it.  Historically, I'd try to get something done, fail, and then just sigh when I went to bed knowing I'd try and fail another day.  Part of the problem is that I have MS, and my energy is less than abundant some days.  I can't make a rule that I'm going to exercise every day, because there are some days when I just stay in bed.  That's why I thought a points system would work.  The in-bed days can focus more on studying and being productive in other ways.  I tried to pick things for the punishment list that don't require a whole lot of kinetic energy - just determination.  (the stairs is the exception - but I'm willing to let that be climbing instead of running)

I am going for more of a generalized punishment system because not everything I can earn points for is necessarily required every day.  All that's required is to earn a certain general number.  I can't require myself to do specific things every day because sometimes it's not possible.  I really am trying to set myself up for success rather than failure. 

I know there isn't really a reward side to it.  Basically, the reward is being able to go to bed at night happy with myself.  I also enjoy filling in the spreadsheet with all the points I've earned.  I guess the reward comes from what I've accomplished in a day.  And honestly, I couldn't really think of rewards that would work.  There aren't many things that I want that I won't just go do anyway - unless they involve money, but even if it's a reward, I still can't afford a pedicure!  lol  Yes, I could save a dollar each day that I reach 150 points, but it's not that big a deal to me, or it'd already be budgeted for. 

Part of the idea is developing habits.  I am really trying to get to the point where the things I can earn points for are second nature and just happen.  At that point, I'll reevaluate.  I guess bottom line is that there are things I want to change, doing it in a fun way makes it possible, "punishment" without cumming is Punishment, and flexibility is crucial. 

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies.  I have discussed this with several of my Dominant friends, and they think I'm a little nuts, all want to help (lol), and in the end, they're supportive.  Of course, they want to come watch if the punishment is ever really nasty.  :) 

I hope I answered all the questions - if I didn't, it was mere oversight. 

firesign







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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 10:54:26 AM   
Stranger1


Posts: 219
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		Is an orgasm really the most positive self reward you can devise?

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 10:56:58 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		AN interesting question,one that I don't have an answer for...BH

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 11:01:28 AM   
firesign


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1

Is an orgasm really the most positive self reward you can devise?


No, but taking pride in myself for a day well-lived is..  :)

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 11:05:08 AM   
Stranger1


Posts: 219
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: firesign

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1

Is an orgasm really the most positive self reward you can devise?


No, but taking pride in myself for a day well-lived is..  :)



Smiles.........the orgasmic buzz is nice. But so very fleeting.

The one you get in the soul is MUCH nicer (and longer lasting) -and tells you that you are definitely on the right road.

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 11:07:06 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		If you want fitness results you need to do it more than twice a week and it needs to be paired with excellent nutrition.

If you want to improve your kneeling, why not try something that increases the beauty in your kneeling, rather than kneeling on rice, which as MasterFireMaam pointed out, can cause serious problems in the end.  Work on your posture, your flexibility, the variances of position while kneeling,  kneel in front of a mirror and see what you think could be made more visibly appealing... but honestly, the beauty of kneeling for me, is in what draws you to that position... the position itself is nothing without the depth of motivation.

Why not impose that time on improving yourself from the inside out?  Read, and not just D/s related material.  Grow the person.  Learn about giving... volunteer and give to people you might otherwise have been uncomfortable with on a more intimate level.

I also do not really understand how denying yourself orgasm or rewarding yourself orgasm will do much of anything.  Your sexuality should be completely organic, in my opinion and effects of denial and reward would really work most optimally when someone else is controlling them for their specific purpose.

I really don't know.. I was just having a bit of trouble understanding exactly what you want to and what you think you will accomplish with this regime.

Good luck at any rate.


_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 11:23:36 AM   
firesign


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

If you want fitness results you need to do it more than twice a week and it needs to be paired with excellent nutrition.

If you want to improve your kneeling, why not try something that increases the beauty in your kneeling, rather than kneeling on rice, which as MasterFireMaam pointed out, can cause serious problems in the end.  Work on your posture, your flexibility, the variances of position while kneeling,  kneel in front of a mirror and see what you think could be made more visibly appealing... but honestly, the beauty of kneeling for me, is in what draws you to that position... the position itself is nothing without the depth of motivation.


I think that's a wonderful idea, and I think I'll add it to the list of things I can earn points for.  The kneeling on rice was intended as something painful to endure.  I haven't ever tried it, so maybe I'll give it a test-run to see how my body responds.  I did kneel on spiral pasta once, and that was definitely a bad idea.  I guess after that, rice seems fairly innocuous, though annoying I imagine.

quote:

Why not impose that time on improving yourself from the inside out?  Read, and not just D/s related material.  Grow the person. 


I do earn points for reading.  :) 

quote:

Learn about giving... volunteer and give to people you might otherwise have been uncomfortable with on a more intimate level.


Right now, it's a time issue.  I'm taking 19 hours this semester, and play in two large ensembles without credit hours.  My days are full, and the time I have away from school is usually spent resting. 

quote:

I also do not really understand how denying yourself orgasm or rewarding yourself orgasm will do much of anything.  Your sexuality should be completely organic, in my opinion and effects of denial and reward would really work most optimally when someone else is controlling them for their specific purpose.


Well, it's definitely a motivation.  The last Dominant I was with helped me set up a weight loss program.  I earned my orgasms from losing weight.  It was extremely effective.  I'm kind of like a child in the sense that if you set up any tiny little reward, I'm all over it.  And the threat of losing it helps, too. 

quote:

I really don't know.. I was just having a bit of trouble understanding exactly what you want to and what you think you will accomplish with this regime.


A large part of it is that I like being kinky in my daily life.  And this helps facilitate that.  Doing it the kinky way helps get it done.  I just figure that anything that helps me be a better person is a positive thing.  Only time will tell on whether I can actually stick to it, but I think the more fun I have feeling the threat and then getting to be kinky, the more I'll find myself getting things done.  I'm an odd duck, to be sure, and I've found that I really enjoy the activities, too.  Yes, the ultimate is the connection between two people, but I got into this because I was *kinky*.  The rest came later. 

I really appreciate all the input; it's definitely making me think.  So far, I'm still thinking this is a good idea for me.  :)

firesign

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 1:13:44 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Give yourself points for reading up on the "behavioural activation" aspect of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

It is a very useful and viable technique for doing the stuff you're talking about, even when one is a mentally healthy person, and if you're smart, you can also make it work in the absence of motivation.

(in reply to firesign)
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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 1:26:49 PM   
firesign


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks, I'll look into it.  :)

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 5:10:37 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Setup webcams around your house and sell subscriptions to the portal site at 10 USD/mon.  You'll be rich. 

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/16/2007 11:38:09 PM   
firesign


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

Setup webcams around your house and sell subscriptions to the portal site at 10 USD/mon.  You'll be rich. 


Or let them write in and suggest punishments for the day...  lol

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/17/2007 12:10:04 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: firesign

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

Setup webcams around your house and sell subscriptions to the portal site at 10 USD/mon.  You'll be rich. 


Or let them write in and suggest punishments for the day...  lol



Ohh!  Good idea!  You can charge some people 60 USD/mon and put all those who do into a rotation.  When it's a particular premium mumber's day, they can chose your punishment for you!

Watch out, pro Domme's!  Pro sub on her way!

(in reply to firesign)
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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/17/2007 5:49:54 AM   
TigerNINTails


Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline 		I have a question... This doesn't have anything to do with your plan for self improvement here, but rather something that you've stated in your response to other peoples confusion, which, I must admit, I was a bit confused at first myself.

The question is regarding your MS... It really has to do with your diet... Do you drink high amounts of diet soda?

The reason I ask, is that there is high concentrations of a sugar substitute in most diet soda drinks, called Aspartame, which according to clinical study actually converts at 86 degrees farhenheit to a substance which is akin (or IS, I don't remember precisely) to wood alcohol.

This has been the leading cause of misdiagnosis of MS in recent years, as it causes similar symptoms. I remember hearing about it a couple years ago, and since then, have been warning people about it, though it seems it's received with as much skepticism by people as the guy that lives in Hazard county that warns people about things while wearing an "armadilla helmet".

There are studies that have shown that if someone stops drinking diet drinks, that their metabolisms, and their process of oxygen and so forth for the muscle tissue returns to normal, which results in them losing the symptoms for MS...

Perhaps Aswad may have something to say about this, I don't have all the data, but it was a curiosity of mine, as to whether it's truly MS, or if maybe it's something symptomatic of another condition or cause... Sorry if I hi-jacked this thread with that.

I agree pretty much with what has already been stated with your ideas in your plan, and other folks suggestions as well. The only thing I'm not clear on is your precise points structure, for both the positive and negative... How much is each activity worth, etc.

Best of success in it, regardless. Peace.


_____________________________

Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

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RE: Project Self-Mastery - 4/17/2007 10:04:09 AM   
firesign


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline 		Multiple Sclerosis is a disease where the myelin sheath around your nerves deteriorates.  Think of it as conducting insulation that protects the nerve and facilitates the conduction of the electrical charge.  When the myelin is gone, the nerve still works for a time but not efficiently.  Eventually, there's scarring that causes a hardening called a sclerosis or a lesion. 

It is very difficult to diagnose.  MRIs are expensive and don't always show the lesions.  Diagnosis is possible on pure symptoms if they happen rapidly and severely enough.  My first episode, I was told that 90% of the time, people are sent away without a diagnosis - only a percent chance that they'll be diagnosed later.  So, I'm not surprised that there are other things that can cause the symptomatology of the disease.  The other thing to know is that since your Central Nervous System controls every bodily function, the symptoms are incredibly hard to predict.  *Anything* can happen.  It just depends on where the lesions are in the brain.  I am very fortunate.  My MRI came back with an alarming number of lesions, so the diagnosis was without question.  I am also mostly symptom-free.  My lack of energy and fatigue is the worst part, and I think the medicine plays a large role in that.  (necessary evil)

Thanks for the thought, though.  I would love for it to be something as simple as that.  :)  As for the points structure, the list of things I can earn points for is quite long, and each thing has a value that corresponds to the difficulty or necessity of the activity.  If I earn 100 points, I get to cum the next day.  If I earn less than 150, there's some sort of "punishment".  Whether it can be considered true punishment or not is pretty much based on whether I get to cum afterwards.  Yes, it all turns me on, and I do like it that way.  Gives me that little secret to walk around with all day, and keeps life interesting.  :)

firesign

(in reply to TigerNINTails)
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