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What if your dominant wants something a little different? - 4/17/2007 1:33:45 PM

Aubre

Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
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I often hear subs/slaves say "I will do anything for my dominant." Here's a curve ball:

What if your dominant wants you (the submissive) to tie them up, and do very specific things to them ? The dominant stays in control and you obey their commands, you are doing whatever they want you to do how and when they want it done. I wish there was a good name for this type of scenario.

Post #: 1

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 1:38:34 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Topping from the bottom in a non manipulative way :)

Or service top.

Or just obeying orders.

Like anything- it depends on the relationship. We choose relationships based on a certain set of expectations. This expectation can include "occasionally topping me upon orders." Sometimes it does not. If a master changes the set of expectations upon which consent was given, there is reasonable room to take a look at the relationship overall.

Once again, you need to be informed on exactly what you are getting into before you are getting into it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 2

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 1:44:54 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

i think i would have some difficulties with such a scenario, though it may (i seriously doubt it) come up as Ma'am is a switch... i am not a switch, and am very uncomfortable with the idea of hitting women (which does cause me some small issues)

i would honestly do what i can to satisfy Ma'am, though i never claimed "i would do anything for my Dominant", even if it makes me uncomfortable... but one of the reasons Ma'am is my Dominant is that i trust Her not to ask me to do anything that i am honestly incapable of doing for whatever reason

_____________________________

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if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
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(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 3

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 1:45:38 PM

angeleyez1983

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Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline

I have actually recently had this discussion.

He told me that we each have to grow to know each other in a way that i should know what pleases Him, and He will never request something from me that He knows will make me completely uncomfortable.

If it is His request for you to tie him up and follow his commands, then you should just act to his request, without hesitation, or doubt, if it is something that you feel completely uncomfortable with, then you should make that known at a suitable time and place, but shouldn’t He know if you would enjoy this or not? And even if you don’t really enjoy it, shouldn’t you do it simply because it pleases Him to have it done? As long as He is not crossing your hard limits...which He should be aware of, i feel the statement "i will do anything for you" is very important, as it is built on trust which is the foundation of any relationship, not just in the bdsm world.

That’s just my thoughts.

(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 4

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 1:49:40 PM

WilliamWizer

Posts: 223
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

I often hear subs/slaves say "I will do anything for my dominant." Here's a curve ball:

What if your dominant wants you (the submissive) to tie them up, and do very specific things to them ? The dominant stays in control and you obey their commands, you are doing whatever they want you to do how and when they want it done. I wish there was a good name for this type of scenario.

and what is the problem? she will do it and that's all. why that precise order should be any diferent that any other?
for the name as LuckyAlbatross said you could call it topping from the bottom in a not manipulative way.

_____________________________

There's only two rules for a sub:
- she can do anything her Master didn't forbid her.
- she only needs to do what her Master told her to do.

(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 5

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 2:15:39 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Some of us consider BDSM to be activities while Ds and Ms dynamics are relationships...and we seperate the two. Doms/Masters are not always Sadists...and subs/slaves are not always masochists.

Master Fire

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(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 6

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 2:20:50 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

i call it, "Doing whatever my Master says."

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 7

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 2:30:03 PM

Casie

Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

Would I do it if I were told to...yes. Would I like or enjoy it..no. I would be very uncomfortable by the situation. Luckily I know that will never happen in my relationship...hell is more likely to freeze over haha

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

Post #: 8

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 2:43:51 PM

firesign

Posts: 19
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

I think if you do agree to submit to those kinds of orders, you need to make sure that both of you are very clear on the reason for it. If he's merely into sensation play, then consider it providing a service. If he's trying to create a situation where he can satisfy some inner desire to submit, then perhaps some reevaluation should occur. I know one couple where they are very solid in their M/s roles, and she does rhythmic caning on his back because it's therapeutic for his muscles. I imagine it's completely possible also for a Dominant to also be masochistic. I'm an extremely sadistic submissive, so I figure it can go both ways. :)

firesign

(in reply to Casie)

Post #: 9

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 2:50:34 PM

blushingflower

Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angeleyez1983

but shouldn’t He know if you would enjoy this or not? And even if you don’t really enjoy it, shouldn’t you do it simply because it pleases Him to have it done?

But how do you necessarily know you wouldn't enjoy it? There are things that we know we don't enjoy because we've done them and we didn't like them. There are things that we have entirely reasonable expectations of not enjoying because we've tried similiar things. And the same goes for enjoyment. Now, if you're a submissive, it's fairly reasonable to expect that you wouldn't be a big fan of topping, but if you've never done it, how do you know for sure? A Dom friend of mine, whom I've played with, says that I'd be a great Domme, based on phone sessions we've had. He said he thinks I'd be more comfortable if I was topping someone but still submissive to someone else. So, maybe I would have fun tying Daddy up. Actually, I think I would have fun tying Daddy up- I can think of all sorts of wonderful things to do to please him.
It might be hard, but isn't that part of what being in a D/s relationship is about- pushing the occasional limit and learning about yourself and what you're capable of?

(in reply to angeleyez1983)

Post #: 10

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 3:15:08 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings aubre,

i would do it in a heartbeat. i already do some painful things to him because he enjoys them (i am not a sadist), and it doesn't make him any less the dominant in my eyes. it's just another way of pleasing him. i enjoy pleasing him; i think if it came to tying him up and such, i would not personally choose to do it as much as i actually -like- biting him and doing other things, but i'd do it anyway because i would still get some enjoyment out of his pleasure, if nothing else.

annabelle.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 4/17/2007 3:16:23 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 11

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 3:39:53 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I was teasing Master about this the other day. he laughed annd said Sweetheart you are never gonna tie me up you are the one that gets put in bondage. So he would never order me to do this.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 12

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 3:49:49 PM

sillygirl09

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

At one point I was talking with someone who wanted me to do things along those lines, it kind of turned me off. I'm not sure how I'd feel if it was already an established relationship though.

(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 13

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 4:09:07 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

I often hear subs/slaves say "I will do anything for my dominant." Here's a curve ball:

What if your dominant wants you (the submissive) to tie them up, and do very specific things to them ? The dominant stays in control and you obey their commands, you are doing whatever they want you to do how and when they want it done. I wish there was a good name for this type of scenario.

i've had guys pull that shit on me, and it ain't happening; i don't switch...

anyone else could call it whatever they like, and respond to it however they like, but i'm not that girl.

(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 14

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 4:46:22 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

The name for it is a masochistic top. If you can separate s&m from D/s it's easier. You could give your top a foot massage if he had a long day on his feet. So why not accept that just as getting his feet rubbed feels good, so might a heavier sensation of getting them caned?

You would rub his back if he wanted you to, but if he wanted a much deeper tissue massage with a flogger why couldn't you do that? It's just sensation play. Just as liking hot sauce on food doesn't make you a sub, neither does having a taste for heavier sensations elsewhere.

As far as me being comfortable with it? In the beginning, no way. These days I could because the relationship boundaries are well established.

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 15

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 4:53:36 PM

smilingjaguar

Posts: 271
Status: offline

We've talked about this before. It is simply a huge turn off for me, and after asking me to give it a try and it failing miserably to do what he wanted he hasn't asked me again. That was a couple of years ago, but now he says there is no way in hell he'd let me tie him down. He's done too much that I may wish revenge for.

(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 16

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 5:34:15 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

I often hear subs/slaves say "I will do anything for my dominant." Here's a curve ball:

What if your dominant wants you (the submissive) to tie them up, and do very specific things to them ? The dominant stays in control and you obey their commands, you are doing whatever they want you to do how and when they want it done. I wish there was a good name for this type of scenario.

The word would be: switching.

I could do it if I had to, but luckily (lucky for me, for some people they would feel deprived) its not something my owner wants or needs at all.

C~

_____________________________

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(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 17

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 5:42:17 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

What if your dominant wants you (the submissive) to tie them up, and do very specific things to them ?

i think i could understand the appeal of being tied up and having things done to you

i would be very nervous about doing things correctly and not being too rough, but i would do it... IMO, a Dominant doesn't have to have physical control to still be in control of a scene

(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 18

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 5:52:12 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

I often hear subs/slaves say "I will do anything for my dominant." Here's a curve ball:

What if your dominant wants you (the submissive) to tie them up, and do very specific things to them ? The dominant stays in control and you obey their commands, you are doing whatever they want you to do how and when they want it done. I wish there was a good name for this type of scenario.

Other than the bondage part, I do this often for him. Alandra and I have done cupping on him, he loves massages and when I do sensation play while giving him a blow job. He dominates from the bottom; it isn't odd for us at all.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 19

RE: What if your dominant wants something a little diff... - 4/17/2007 5:55:41 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre
. I wish there was a good name for this type of scenario.

Dominate from the Bottom

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Aubre)

Post #: 20

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