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Groveling - 4/18/2007 9:00:36 PM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		What are the thoughts of other Doms  (this being "Ask a Master") about grovelling behavior from a partner? 

Like it?  Hate it?  Find it common or uncommon behavior?

...I'll offer my own thoughts later, so as not to hijack my own thread.

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RE: Groveling - 4/18/2007 9:17:48 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		i like it when i am in a scene, but i dont like it when i have clearly said no, and or if we have negotiated something and he tries for more.
i also dont mind when its for sex, because its very cute, but i wont cave, ill typically use it as an opportunity to tease slash torture him.

as a sub i learned from my first owner groveling was a punishable offense, severe punishment, so it never occurs to me that that is an option, and i admit that i dont really get "brats" ..i try to have an open mind....but it squicks me a little to see groveling from submissives that have been clearly told no.

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RE: Groveling - 4/18/2007 9:30:38 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings oedipusrexit,

He doesn't like groveling or begging; that kind of behavior usually earns a faceslap and not the warm fuzzy kind. His philosophy on it is He'll do what He wants when He wants to do it; i'm expected to tell Him what i want/need, but not beg or grovel.

respectfully,
annabelle.


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RE: Groveling - 4/18/2007 9:36:10 PM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		It depends on the intention. Is it because the Dominant/Master likes the behavior?, or is the sub/slaves intention to be granted that which would please themself. Either way it may be acceptable behavior based on the relationship. Personally, I find a little pleading sexy at times, although it can become an annoyance if continued once a descision is expressed, or escalated to groveling.

< Message edited by szobras -- 4/18/2007 10:28:21 PM >

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RE: Groveling - 4/18/2007 10:02:47 PM   
Bluebird


Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline 		I know you asked this in the "Master" forum, but for a female perspective - I generally dislike it unless in a very specific roleplay situation.  A bit of pleading is ok, but abject groveling - no, it is a turnoff.  Be tough, and take it like a man. 

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RE: Groveling - 4/18/2007 10:29:46 PM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		I can appreciate all points of view, but wonder most what Doms will say.

...still biting my tongue.

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RE: Groveling - 4/18/2007 11:30:36 PM   
TigerNINTails


Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline 		I have to say this is a subject that is rather context sensitive.

I for one though, prefer begging/groveling ONLY when I tell my slave to do so. Other than that, it's whining, and I find it distasteful, if not downright annoying. If I tell her no, then it means no.

I don't mince my words, I expect her to indicate her needs and wants, but I'm also capable of discerning the difference between the two.

I don't even like pouting, for that matter. It's nothing but a silent whining or grovelling. I've taken more than one pair of clamps and vice grips to pouty lips.

When it's in the sexual context, I love it when a slave begs, especially for release... I do find that sexy... Begging for sex is also acceptable, but in general, I prefer grovelling and begging to be used in a humiliation context, not in a "i want this cause i want my way!!" sort of thing.

That's irritating. But in certain contexts, I believe it's something I enjoy, encourage and develop even.

But in the context of it happening after I say no will raise my ire and I'll discipline rather swiftly over it.


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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 4:36:45 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Begging I can handle to an extent but all out groveling I find distasteful and won't tolerate it.

~Lashra


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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 5:10:46 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails

I have to say this is a subject that is rather context sensitive.

I for one though, prefer begging/groveling ONLY when I tell my slave to do so. Other than that, it's whining, and I find it distasteful, if not downright annoying. If I tell her no, then it means no.

I don't mince my words, I expect her to indicate her needs and wants, but I'm also capable of discerning the difference between the two.

I don't even like pouting, for that matter. It's nothing but a silent whining or grovelling. I've taken more than one pair of clamps and vice grips to pouty lips.

When it's in the sexual context, I love it when a slave begs, especially for release... I do find that sexy... Begging for sex is also acceptable, but in general, I prefer grovelling and begging to be used in a humiliation context, not in a "i want this cause i want my way!!" sort of thing.

That's irritating. But in certain contexts, I believe it's something I enjoy, encourage and develop even.

But in the context of it happening after I say no will raise my ire and I'll discipline rather swiftly over it.



I also prefer groveling to be used in a humiliation/sexual context.  For me, it only serves to seal their fate. The imagery this statement brings to mind is SIMPLY delicious. 

Other than that, if it gets annoying, a nice big cock or ball gag with a dab of something very hot (or very nasty) shoved in the mouth can be very handy.


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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 6:12:00 AM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Depends. As some of my pets have found real quick with the back of my hand, downright begging won't be tolerating in any form. During sexual play...different story. I love bringing one to the point of explosion and then stopping. It's funny to watch a guy dance around cause he's ready to break and having trouble holding it in and the girls...they're just too cute at this point.

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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 7:17:32 AM   
ExtremeOwnerIL


Posts: 197
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

What are the thoughts of other Doms  (this being "Ask a Master") about grovelling behavior from a partner? 

Like it?  Hate it?  Find it common or uncommon behavior?

...I'll offer my own thoughts later, so as not to hijack my own thread.


There is a difference between whinging ("I'm going to complain about not getting what I want") versus begging ("I have no control whether you will or wont, but please do give to me").

Any sort of begging or groveling, I prefer when it is genuine, done from a position of submissiveness and expressing both her complete focus and complete loss of control of decision. Whether sexually motivated or not, it is a joy to behold. I may tell her to beg, but that is still different from an unasked begging.

Interesting questions. *s*
Regards,
EO

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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 7:21:55 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It can be amusing and fun on occasion, but that's it.

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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 7:32:26 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

What are the thoughts of other Doms  (this being "Ask a Master") about grovelling behavior from a partner? 

Like it?  Hate it?  Find it common or uncommon behavior?

...I'll offer my own thoughts later, so as not to hijack my own thread.
If find groveling distasteful and the person doing it pathetic. Groveling, to me, shows the person doing it to have no self-respect or pride. And a person with no pride in who they are has no worth to me, IMO.

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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 7:38:43 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44
If find groveling distasteful and the person doing it pathetic. Groveling, to me, shows the person doing it to have no self-respect or pride. And a person with no pride in who they are has no worth to me, IMO.

Groveling for an hour doesn't mean a person completely lacks self-respect or pride in the whole of their life.

But then people tell me I have no self-respect or pride because I whored, which is obviously false as well.

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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 8:59:32 AM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		Whenever I see self-absorbed crap, I know the post was a waste of time. 

You would think people could read, but then, if you've posted over 10,000 times in under two years, it's painfully clear you are too busy talking to ever listen.

... a legend in your own mind.

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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 9:10:34 AM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

What are the thoughts of other Doms  (this being "Ask a Master") about grovelling behavior from a partner? 

Like it?  Hate it?  Find it common or uncommon behavior?

...I'll offer my own thoughts later, so as not to hijack my own thread.


Greetings Oedipus,

I normally have the grovelling at the start of the relationship, this way the female does learn that she does not get things for free.  If she asks how to dress, she might beg to have on something that goes with the colour of her shoes that she might want to wear, but the bottom line, she wears what I want.  I woulod only see the grovelling when she has done wrong and SHE knows it.  The grovelling would be the form of trying to curtail the punishment in such a way, that she still gets punished, but she knows why and she knows that in the future it will NOT happen.

Begging and grovelling is done for seperate reasons in all relationships, the boundaries might be blurred where they meet, or they might be black and white after time with each other.  Time can only tell with some relationships.

Be well.

Frank Ar.


< Message edited by FrankAr -- 4/19/2007 9:13:11 AM >

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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 9:18:37 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings,

i find it interesting the number of posters who only enjoy it in sexual play...for me that is the only place where i ever have the desire to do it, and that's when i'm not allowed to do it. actually, i hadn't ever really thought about it outside of that context.

thanks for such an interesting thread :)

annabelle.


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a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 10:09:23 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44
If find groveling distasteful and the person doing it pathetic. Groveling, to me, shows the person doing it to have no self-respect or pride. And a person with no pride in who they are has no worth to me, IMO.

Groveling for an hour doesn't mean a person completely lacks self-respect or pride in the whole of their life.

But then people tell me I have no self-respect or pride because I whored, which is obviously false as well.


Well you know LA, I think groveling could be sexy in play. In our daily life he does not have me even kneel to him. He does not care for it. But when we play... MMMMM groveling  could indeed be a sexy part of an interogation scene... yummy. But if I groveled any other time I think he would get annoyed by that.



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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 10:10:10 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I like a well placed, "Please, Ma'am." I don't like grovelling, which to me involved them having the mental attitude that they are unworthy of whatever attention they're asking for.

Master Fire


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RE: Groveling - 4/19/2007 10:27:06 AM   
BondageTopJere


Posts: 170
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline 		Mighr have to go away and think on this one for a bit;  I've never really put much thought into either way.

Kneejerk reaction though, is I find it distasteful in all contexts, I prefer bratty pouting myself ( its the lip stuck out thing, I find it indescribally cute for some reason )

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