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deciding your own punishment - 4/18/2007 11:15:46 PM   
WilliamTheSlave


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline 		Ok, so I have recently been collared by a girl who lives about an hour and a half away. Anyways, after driving back home last night, I neglected to call her and let her know that I got home safely, and she stayed up most of the night worrying about me. She was very upset with me and decided that I should decide my own punishment. I am very new to all of this, and I need some help.

So, any ideas? How have you been punished in the past?
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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/18/2007 11:56:28 PM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		You inconvenienced her in two ways.  First, she was worried, perhaps even grief-stricken, about your safety.  This wreaks havoc on one's mind.  Secondly, she stayed up late, and likely lost some sleep, which in turn, likely caused her following day to be more difficult than it should have.

In my opinion, an appropriate punishment would be one that causes you to experience similar things, so that you remember not to cause these problems again.  I will provide a suggestion, however, even though your Mistress told you to decide your own punishment, she will likely want to know what you've decided, and you should run any ideas that you come up with (particularly if they are suggestions from others) by her first.

My suggestion:

Create a self-incriminating video of yourself - one that you would not like for your vanilla friends or family or anyone else to bear witness to.  Provide her the footage and give her full privilege to do with it as she pleases.  Request that she does not inform you of what she chooses to do for 2 weeks. 

This will likely cause you to feel similar stress and lack of sleep that she felt in worrying over you.  You will likely wonder if she plans to use it to expose you or not - and, she may do that.  The point is, you too will worry, much like she did, and you too will feel anxious and scared and all the other emotions that she felt.  It will likely remind you to be much more considerate of her feelings in the future.  In my opinion, that is the point of discipline, to learn from it, and to try to prevent the action from occurring again.


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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 12:28:58 AM   
santalia


Posts: 142
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings

One punishment i've heard of is to write the name of the Dominant on the bottom of a sock and then have to wear the sock, thus, symbolically walking on that Dominant. It would think it would be most effective in one who is fairly well emotionally attached to their Dominant, though it's likely to have an effect on any sub/slave who is to do this punishment.

Other effective punishments for this might include having to write sentences... "i will not forget to check in with my Dominant when i get home" 100 times sort of thing, and doing it by hand, not computer/typewriter...writing an essay on why it's important to check in with someone when you arrive at a destination, even if only by sending a quick text message that says "home safe"...

Or there's always the possibility that she could go on a weekend trip and command you to sit at home all weekend by the phone but not hear from her at all, not even once, while she's gone, so that you might endure the same worry she went through.

Hope these suggestions help

Well wishes

-santalia{JR}t

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 1:11:17 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings william,

for us, removal of His presence from my life is something that would only happen in cases of lying on my part, but to me it seems like perhaps a fitting punishment for this particular situation...at least, i know that for me, that would be the quickest way to evoke the feelings in myself that your lack of communication must have caused in your mistress. i don't know how often you two talk to each other or get together, or whether you tend to worry without regular communication, but if you do talk/get together often and if checking in with each other is something that's really important to you, perhaps if that was taken away from you, it would show you the value of why you were told to do this in the first place.

just some thoughts based on my own experience - your mileage may definitely vary. :)

respectfully,
annabelle.


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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 1:46:43 AM   
pwettyprincess


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline 		eeks always a hard one! ive had to do this on a couple of occasions and come up with something suitable in a very short time frame which ive found that is a punishment in itself .

i think the suggestions about no contact having you kept worried etc is good but i also wonder how would your Mistress feel also? would she not be worrying if you are ok too?
writing a clear and well considered  essay (with a minimum of x amount of words) regarding your transgression is always a good one both my Master and myself have found, as it makes you really stop and think about what you've done/havnt done and shows your Mistress that you have really taken onboard and understand the result of your actions and wont repeat the same mistake again.

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 3:55:21 AM   
whipingherfeet


Posts: 202
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		first knee and kiss her feet .then said please mistress i was bad please crack my nuts .make me scream that should do it as you lay on the floor pass out

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 4:36:59 AM   
biru


Posts: 13
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe she intended for you to actually come up with your own punishment instead of ask others what they thought? I'm not trying to be rude, but I imagine that part of the point was for you to ponder what you did and how you mistreated her. The punishment you come up with is a clue to her as to how serious you think your mistake was.

I hope that's helpful.

b

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 5:11:22 AM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Think of something you hate, and then offer to do it for her.

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 6:01:02 AM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		sorry wrong section, and I could not figure out how to delete a error,


< Message edited by SirMIkeSD -- 4/19/2007 6:04:06 AM >

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 6:24:46 AM   
yenlui


Posts: 51
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: santalia

Or there's always the possibility that she could go on a weekend trip and command you to sit at home all weekend by the phone but not hear from her at all, not even once, while she's gone, so that you might endure the same worry she went through.


This is the best suggestion I've read so far. But the Domme would have to say that she will call some time during the weekend.
Had Sir done this to me, I'd go insane.

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 7:06:37 AM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamTheSlave
Ok, so I have recently been collared by a girl who lives about an hour and a half away. Anyways, after driving back home last night, I neglected to call her and let her know that I got home safely, and she stayed up most of the night worrying about me. She was very upset with me and decided that I should decide my own punishment. I am very new to all of this, and I need some help.
So, any ideas? How have you been punished in the past?


William...i'd have to agree with Biru on this. I would suggest, should you decide to use anothers idea on punishment, you first tell your mistress the idea was not originally yours and where you got it from. She may not want someone else's idea being used thus causing even more punishment on you. I know if it were me and one of my slaves...unless otherwise told to do so, to find one took anothers idea because they didn't take time to think on their own would have angered me more in turn increasing the punishment recieved.

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 7:10:39 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		i think you should have to sit in an emergency lobby for 3 hours....and then maybe have to go to a wake or a morgue....some event that will really bring home the images and emotions that were in her mind all night long.

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 7:15:09 AM   
whipingherfeet


Posts: 202
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

i think you should have to sit in an emergency lobby for 3 hours....and then maybe have to go to a wake or a morgue....some event that will really bring home the images and emotions that were in her mind all night long.
well said

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 7:19:23 AM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		How about you give yer YOUR number so in the future if she becomes worried, grief stricken and losing sleep she can simply call you and check.  So she isnt negatively affected by lack of thought on your part.

i'd say write an essay on how this problem will not occur again. 


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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 7:27:10 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

i think you should have to sit in an emergency lobby for 3 hours....and then maybe have to go to a wake or a morgue....some event that will really bring home the images and emotions that were in her mind all night long.


Oooh nice!

Now really I think SHE went overboard too.  I'd have been worried, but (I assume she tried to call and his phone was just OFF) wouldn't have gone into serious not sleeping mode until like the next day when I still couldn't get a hold of him.

I think asking the slave for punishment ideas is good as an intellectual exercise in getting to know where their head is at and how well they understand what's going on.  It's also really funny when they bring up suggestions that have NOTHING to do with the situation or are completely over the top for the offense they made (subs really do most of the mental work all on their own, it's refreshing when it's not maddening).

But ultimately the choice should always be with the owner.  And I think Crouching's suggestion is the best so far on actually teaching the new behavior that is desired.

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 10:41:35 AM   
WilliamTheSlave


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline 		The reason she couldn't call me is that I have no phone. We mostly communicate over yahoo IM during the week and I visit on my long 4 day weekends.

She actually suggested I go to the forums for help.

Yes, I think the emergency room one is very good. I will keep coming back to this thread until tomorrow when I leave to go visit her. Thank you for all of your help everyone.

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 11:03:27 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamTheSlave

The reason she couldn't call me is that I have no phone. We mostly communicate over yahoo IM during the week and I visit on my long 4 day weekends.

She actually suggested I go to the forums for help.

Yes, I think the emergency room one is very good. I will keep coming back to this thread until tomorrow when I leave to go visit her. Thank you for all of your help everyone.


I'd also go buy a phone this weekend.

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 11:05:48 AM   
whipingherfeet


Posts: 202
Joined: 10/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamTheSlave

The reason she couldn't call me is that I have no phone. We mostly communicate over yahoo IM during the week and I visit on my long 4 day weekends.

She actually suggested I go to the forums for help.

Yes, I think the emergency room one is very good. I will keep coming back to this thread until tomorrow when I leave to go visit her. Thank you for all of your help everyone.


I'd also go buy a phone this weekend.
you rule mam

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 11:57:33 AM   
yenlui


Posts: 51
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline 		The important question here is: "Why did you not call her?"
The punishment should be more harsh if you just decided to ignore your promise, than if you forgot or were unable to call her for some reason.

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RE: deciding your own punishment - 4/19/2007 12:04:04 PM   
whipingherfeet


Posts: 202
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yenlui

The important question here is: "Why did you not call her?"
The punishment should be more harsh if you just decided to ignore your promise, than if you forgot or were unable to call her for some reason.
well said

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