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Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 8:43:22 AM   
MellowSir


Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		I've noticed that there are many submissives that have a strict age preference, yet are really reaching to expect a dominant male in his 20's that has the experience the sub seeks. I, for one, was only periphally aware of the d/s and bdsm scene when I was a teenager. I understand that there are other factors, such as "oh my god what would my parents think", how friends would react, etc etc. I enjoy women of all ages, some for their lack of experience, so that I may more easily teach, others for their wealth of experience so that I may readily learn. Age really isn't an issue, 20's,30's,40's, whatever. The submissive women that are yet young(20's)that restrict to their own age quite often end up with is not yet  a fully-formed dominant, enthusiastic at best, at worst one that leaves a bad impression for lack of skills, or equates control with abuse. There are exceptions to every rule, those few men that have been raised around bdsm and have had the years to learn from such. Otherwise it takes time, and we're not getting younger. As cliche' as it sounds, don't knock it till you try it. Give the older dominants a shot sometime lol.
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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 8:48:48 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The reality is that everyone's pool is really small when you get down to the final little things.  But I still think we can all get what we want.  Specially as people get into the scene earlier and earlier these days, it won't be that uncommon for a 25 yo to have years more experience in the scene and with kink than the guy who goes online in middle age and finally comes out of the closet.

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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 8:59:17 AM   
nighthawk3569


Posts: 283
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		   Let the ones with such restrictions go ahead and learn for themselves...from the not 'fully-formed' doms. Then, a few years later, they'll appricate the experience of one who does have the experience...which, by and large, does come with maturity.
 
                                                                                  'hawk

(in reply to MellowSir)
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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 8:59:33 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		Perhaps one issue is "some" 20 something people may not be attracted to an older person period. LOL i however was NOT one of those...i dated a 38 year old when i was 18.....LOL. just a thought....

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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:09:53 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Doesn't it just suck when the hags your age aren't interesting and the fucking young hotties tell you to fuck off cause you are old?  I just hate that.

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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:10:41 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings mellowsir,

my dominant is 35 years my senior, and i love Him to bits and pieces, and i think He's a wonderful dominant...being with Him has taught me -a lot-. i don't necessarily think age always equals experience - as la mentioned, there are plenty of middle aged doms with no experience at all who are just learning about bdsm as well. but i personally have no problem with age gaps or being in an age gap relationship.

annabelle.


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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:12:23 AM   
BondageTopJere


Posts: 170
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline 		Doesn't it just suck when the hags older than you aren't interesting and the fucking young hotties your age tell you to fuck off cause u are too young?  I just hate that.

Flip side  of the coin for me SimplyMichael.  Personally, Ive noticed about a 50/50 split, roughly, when it comes to what age subs look for, either older or same age.  Then again, my pool of personal experience is on the small side so thats probably not quite right

< Message edited by BondageTopJere -- 4/19/2007 9:14:23 AM >

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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:12:46 AM   
SweetMegan20


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline 		Some older dominants seem like really nice guys.  But others have proven to me within their first message that they're idiots and don't respect me.

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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:15:42 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		You really cannot equal age with experience - they are two totally different factors that aren't related.   There are plenty of 20somethings with a lot of experience, and plenty of older folks who are novices.



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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:19:47 AM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetMegan20

Some older dominants seem like really nice guys.  But others have proven to me within their first message that they're idiots and don't respect me.



and can't the same be said about everyone in general?  I have had young ladies who were so polite and responded nicely even if they were not interested and I have had some that were so outragously rude that it was like whiplash!  Even in the boards you can read well thought out and mature messages from young and old and you can read something and think 'is this person for real?  Are there really idiots like that running around?" and the age can be from 20 to 80!  Idiots come in all ages, genders, interests, colors ...


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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:21:03 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		And how did you gain all this experience that has turned you into this awesome dominant?

Did the Experience Fairy take your Inexperience from underneath the pillow and leave you a quarter to buy Experience?

Or were you at some point this non fully formed dominant screwing up and learning the hard knocks, leaving your own bad impressions on submissives?

I wonder how all these experienced dominants who knock the notion of submissives playing with inexperienced dominants....got their experience?

I wonder if everyone were to only play and date experienced dominants, whats going to happen to the scene....when they all die?

The whole "experience" thing is the silliest thing ever. You only become experienced by having experiences! Just like you only become mature by growing, making mistakes, and threw time!

If I had a quarter for everytime someone said to me "Well, Rabbit, your 23 and your relationships arent probably going to be long term because of your age and experience.", I could take all those quarters and buy a ton of Experience from the Experience Fairy!

So what?

Oh geez, my god! It might fail! I might make a lot of mistakes! I should should just do nothing and sit here and twiddle my thumbs.

Oh wow! This guy is so compatible with me, we really connect...but geez he just doesnt have the required 5 years of experience I need from the lifestyle.

I wonder what would happen if people started thinking again in vanilla terms, where you looked for a good match and someone you wanted to be with and not in terms of experience.

I dont remember anyone ever saying "Well...gee...we get along great together, there is something really there, but you havnet had X number of vanilla relationships and fucked X number of girls."

This doesnt boil down to practical advice, but rather a way for dominants to try and hoard more potential mates into their own brothel. "Suck my cock! I have experience!" The same way guys flash money or expensive cars around. They are trying to attractice pussy.

Another hidden shameless personal advertisement.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 4/19/2007 9:23:56 AM >

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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:22:51 AM   
SweetMegan20


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline 		I'm just not really attracted to older guys.

Plus, people in vastly different age groups want and need different things.  I want to spend my life with someone and experience it with them, not for the next 20 years and then their hip breaks!

(in reply to Argentopal)
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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:24:06 AM   
BondageTopJere


Posts: 170
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 
You really cannot equal age with experience - they are two totally different factors that aren't related.  There are plenty of 20somethings with a lot of experience, and plenty of older folks who are novices.


True enough, but thats dealing with after the subs been attracted in the first place.  Same age preferences tend to come about due to 3 factors,  physical attraction , a common cultural reference point,  and desire of an LTR.  The first two are on the fluid side; for personally, the last is the main reason why 33-35 is my "hard" upper limit

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:32:44 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nighthawk3569

   Let the ones with such restrictions go ahead and learn for themselves...from the not 'fully-formed' doms. Then, a few years later, they'll appricate the experience of one who does have the experience...which, by and large, does come with maturity.
 
                                                                                  'hawk


What? You mean they will have experienes, learn something, and become experienced?

You just blew my mind.

Much like you did to become a fully formed dominnant.

So when you say they shouldnt play with non fully formed dominants, you mean everyone but you from the past, right?

Oh wait...you dont want the non fully formed dominants to blow you.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 4/19/2007 9:33:40 AM >

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to nighthawk3569)
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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:35:39 AM   
agoodboy


Posts: 25
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		I've always had a thing for older dominant women. Somehow, I just heel better for them. It could be that they are different, or that I merely see them differently. But they do have an "effect" on me.

(in reply to BondageTopJere)
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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:38:01 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetMegan20

I'm just not really attracted to older guys.

Plus, people in vastly different age groups want and need different things.  I want to spend my life with someone and experience it with them, not for the next 20 years and then their hip breaks!

LMAO...i cant believe i agree with this but i do.....

(in reply to SweetMegan20)
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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:42:33 AM   
MellowSir


Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		I like hawk's answer, it does take time to appreciate experience, more difficult I think for a dom to learn control than a sub to learn submission, women were taught in the past to submit to men, unfortunately with all the jerks out there, now they have to be "equal". And in answer to mad rabbit, I fully expected some defensiveness from young and perhaps inexperienced. As I pointed out, there are exceptions to every rule. I have had quite nice experiences with much younger women, those who look beyond age, I know the others will catch up lol.

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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:43:26 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetMegan20

I'm just not really attracted to older guys.

Plus, people in vastly different age groups want and need different things.  I want to spend my life with someone and experience it with them, not for the next 20 years and then their hip breaks!


and some people have that perception...and that's their right. then again, i am spending my life with him and experiencing it with him regardless of the age gap, and if one of us walks out tomorrow and gets run over by a bus or something, at least we'll have been happy with each other and not let social convention get in the way of a really good relationship. *shrugs* it's a matter of personal preference, i guess. i just balk at the idea that the differences are SO vast that one can't have a meaningful intimate relationship with someone that much older...because i have.


< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 4/19/2007 9:44:03 AM >

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:48:10 AM   
MellowSir


Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		Oh, and I wanted to point out that I didn't mean that age=experience for everyone, just that you can't have enough experience in a short time to be as skilled as you become after some years at it. I think back to when I was in my 20's that it was all about the sex more than anything, and that the women at the same age tended to be more emotionally mature. Took a marriage, 3 kids, encountering the lifestyle and so many other factors to become as I am, over time not overnite.

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RE: Experience versus age, young"sub"looking? - 4/19/2007 9:52:06 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I would place my money on MadRabbit any day of the week.  He is young, half the age of many of us posting but I think he has the skills AND experience to put it into practice today and be a talented and respected Dominant in any community, including San Francisco.


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