TigerNINTails
Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
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To the OP:
Verbal humiliation comes down to identification and deconstruction, then reformation and deconstruction, ending with a reformation once again. At least, good humiliation practice does.
There's a lot involved in it, and really, what you could really look for is much like what monica was speaking about above.
Imagine your ego, your psyche is a house. It has bearing walls and non bearing walls. Your bearing walls are walls which form the very essence of who you know yourself to be, your core strengths, beliefs and values and the non bearing walls are facets of your personality, habits, weaknesses, insecurities, which you rely on in relation to other people, feel insecure or secure in, have an opinion about yourself, regarding looks, weight, intellect, etc.
When monica was talking about asking guided, skilled questions in drawing out what it is that you are into, your interests, likes, dislikes, what you do like about yourself, what you don't like about yourself etc., she's taking note of the walls. There is also the roof... The roof is the area, which really represents those areas that should, along with the bearing walls, be left alone, as they are core identifiers. There is core identity and core values These are the two things that can be tweeked, but core identifiers really shouldn't be screwed with, in my opinion.
But really, in the works of it all, verbal humiliation identifies, and rips into the "values" and the "ethics" of a person, restructures them in a believable yet utterly twisted fashion and reinstalls them, so that the person begins to feel that abasement, or degradation.
For example, if I was talking to you and you came across as a completely honest, or ethical person, I might begin the humiliation in an interrogation sense, and begin to set up trick questions, which would force you to answer in a "false positive".
What this means, is that it's a no-win situation. You might be answering honestly, but no matter how you answer, I'm able to twist that, look at you and start playing on that your a worthless liar, or that you've not a brain in your head and begin going from there, twisting it further into something else as we go along.
Before it's done, much like Michael was saying, there has to be a deconstruction of the "remodeling" so that you don't remain that way... So you don't have doubts about yourself, or truly believe the "scene" that was created out of you. But the walls have to be "reinstalled" in their proper places.
The same methods could be used to "restructure" someone to eliminate bad habits. Deconstruct, reconstruct and don't reverse the procedure. Of course, this might take more time and more sessions, but it's possible. Not with major phsychological issues, I don't think, but with minor "habitual annoyances" perhaps.
First and foremost though... And there's a reason I stated it last, and that's because you must remember this...
When the question is asked, and it must be... Period, there's no getting around it... When the question is asked "Do you enjoy/like humiliation?"...
If the answer is "no"... Don't engage in it. Period. All that will result if you ignore this, is someone getting hurt. You or your partner.
It does take some digging, to find what is erotically embarrassing, sexually embarrassing, physically embarrassing, mentally embarrassing, debasing or humiliating etc. about someone, so it takes time. The best scenes I've seen that involved humiliation were scenes where someone truly knew the other person inside and out. The reason this is, is that they know what buttons to push and what buttons NOT to push.
If you want to learn more about humiliation, and verbal humiliation, I'd personally recommend looking up Midori.
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Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary
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