I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't like "Sir"

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I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't like &q... - 4/28/2005 2:09:45 PM

domwolfe71

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/21/2004
From: Petersburg, VA
Status: offline

As I go over the things I have enjoyed about BDSM, I am finding more and more things I don't like about the people I have spoken with online. I am finding as I get older, there are a lot more aspects of "Protocol" that I like less and less.

For one, I don't like to be called, "Sir" or "Master" or "Lord" or any of those other self-styled titles anymore. Years ago when I first started, I liked it, but as I have grown into things and become my own person, I find it distasteful. I'm not saying that to put down other people. I am just finding that being called that makes me feel--well, silly...

It may be that the peson calling me that is my wife. My days of playing with mulitple partners are behind me, which is something that I do miss, but I made a committment to my wife.

And now that she is my wife, I don't like the idea of her calling me "Sir" or anything like that.

Has anyone else ever felt like this?

BTW--- I always HATED the word SUBBIE!!!

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Post #: 1

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 3:16:53 PM

wetsub000

Posts: 91
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline

I know you're not alone, I've met other Doms who feel similar. Words are powerful things and most of us have reactions and feelings about many of them.

Personally the one I can't stand is Ma'am, although I'm a sub and never likely to get called that in BDSM I found when I was in Malaysia a lot of people used this form of address to women. It used to make me cringe each time.

Surely as a Dom you can just ban the word and you'll never have to hear it again. My last Dom took delight in banning words from my vocabulary and then trying to trick me into saying them.

(in reply to domwolfe71)

Post #: 2

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 3:57:36 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

And now that she is my wife, I don't like the idea of her calling me "Sir" or anything like that.

Has anyone else ever felt like this?

Hubby won't let me call Him any of those either.

You're not alone in not liking "subbie":

pet peeve

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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(in reply to domwolfe71)

Post #: 3

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 4:11:10 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

The partner doesn't like "Master." We use "Sir" during heavy play though 'cause...well...just 'cause.

Subbie? Makes me vomit.

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Post #: 4

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 4:24:14 PM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

This was discussed at a BDSM group I was at a few weeks ago. One person there said being called a "sub" made her think of the sandwich, so she didn't like it and she liked "subbie" even less.

I just call my girlfriend "pet" and she doesn't use any title for me.

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hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to perverseangelic)

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RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 4:36:58 PM

selphaware

Posts: 20
Joined: 10/28/2004
Status: offline

i have no problems with titles in general, and there are specific ones i like a lot -- for instance, i very much like referring to a Domme i am interacting with as "Mistress" (assuming it's okay with Her).

i don't at all care for the "ma'am" address that other posters were discussing, though, and i *really* can't stand the word "subbie." ick. just one person's opinion, of course...

s.

(in reply to wetsub000)

Post #: 6

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 5:14:29 PM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

i don't care for the term "subbie", actually i find it a lil annoying....i call my hubby (we just got married so i haven't used the term hubby til now ...**grins**) i call Him Master, in public i call Him Sir, never have i used His name....i call other doms in the lifestyle Sir.

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~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to selphaware)

Post #: 7

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 6:09:32 PM

harmony3709

Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

I'm with all of you on dislike of the word "subbie". I'm not sure why, but I have just never liked it. I don't mind titles if I'm involved with someone or in a scene, but I don't refer to other Doms as anything but their names.

By the way.........congratulations BabyGirl on your marriage!!!!!! I wish you all the best and much happiness for all your years to come.

Nemaste,

harmony

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 8

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 6:10:21 PM

FuriousAngel

Posts: 102
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

I'm guilty of still enjoying using my 'Sir's'! I use them at my discretion, but when I speak to a Dominant who 'feels' like a Sir to me? It just comes naturally! To not use it is an effort and a distraction for me when I'm trying to converse.

Don't tell me 'Sir' is become old fashioned and outdated now! I had to practice my 'Sir's' cuz I used to feel so uncomfy! All my hard work for nothing? Noooooo! LOL!

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 9

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 6:45:44 PM

sting516

Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline

As long as we're on this line of thinking...i hate it when a DominANT calls themselfs a DominATE...and i'm not a fan of the word subbie either...

That's my two cents, where's my change?

sting

(in reply to FuriousAngel)

Post #: 10

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 8:04:57 PM

wildangel1012003

Posts: 19
Joined: 4/27/2005
Status: offline

i am new to all this , but from talking with poeple in the life style on line, i can say that i do not like being called a subbie and like being refered to as " slave" even less. i may be a submissive person by nature , but not a slave, as for the "Sir" part, i have not realy ever used it and i have talked to men on line that hald corected me when i do not call then "Sir " with a capital S , to me it is a term of respect , i would use for a man i knew and respected if he wanted me to, but not for just anyone.

(in reply to domwolfe71)

Post #: 11

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 8:09:12 PM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

I am "baby girl" and he is "Daddy"
In public we use "honey" and "sweetie"
There have been slips, which got us funny looks, but it wasn't all that bad

(in reply to domwolfe71)

Post #: 12

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 8:11:58 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i am new to all this , but from talking with poeple in the life style on line, i can say that i do not like being called a subbie and like being refered to as " slave" even less. i may be a submissive person by nature , but not a slave, as for the "Sir" part, i have not realy ever used it and i have talked to men on line that hald corected me when i do not call then "Sir " with a capital S , to me it is a term of respect , i would use for a man i knew and respected if he wanted me to, but not for just anyone.

On-line is just that, on-line. I've never seen any of the crap that happens in chat rooms (Get on your knees bitch, etc) happen in the RL BDSM scene. If you use your online experience as real BDSM experience, you are probably living a fantasy like most of the other people you meet.

I do, and have used Sir in the scene RL. There are men who I have not played with, who have never owned me, nor do I anticipate that I will play with, that I use "Sir" with; it denotes respect for me. I'm not uncomfortable with the term. They have not requested this, I simply, for what ever reason, am comfortable using it, and they are ok with it as well.

When some random guy on the internet expects you to call him Sir, with a capital S, he's probably a poser. I don't waste my time with that kind of posturing.

Lily

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Post #: 13

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 8:24:01 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I believe that a way a Dom/me carries themselves is how they earn a title if that's even necessary--I like the term Mistress or Maam but I dont demand it, it's just there-- when its a new relationship---as for the term subbie-- yech! I do like to name My subs though something special but until then I use pet--so I veto the sandwhich name too! <grins>

edited for typo

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 4/28/2005 8:42:24 PM >

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Post #: 14

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 8:30:26 PM

domwolfe71

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/21/2004
From: Petersburg, VA
Status: offline

I know what it is. My 35th birthday isn't that far off. I have so many of the kids that I work with calling me Sir, that it really bothers me to hear it in play. I have decided that I shall just use my name.

I've always felt that I don't need a title to make me feel important, or dominant for that matter. I would prefer just to be who I am and have my submissive my way.

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Post #: 15

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 11:05:25 PM

cellogrrlMK

Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

The partner doesn't like "Master." We use "Sir" during heavy play though 'cause...well...just 'cause.

Gee, it's the other way around for us!

quote:

Subbie? Makes me vomit.

Here, I just happen to have an extra barf bag handy (you wouldn't want to share mine! lol)

Great thread domwolfe (as I prevent myself from ending the sentence with "Sir" <wink>).

< Message edited by cellogrrlMK -- 4/28/2005 11:06:47 PM >

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 16

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 11:52:56 PM

Tangwystal

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sting516

As long as we're on this line of thinking...i hate it when a DominANT calls themselfs a DominATE...and i'm not a fan of the word subbie either...

That's my two cents, where's my change?

sting

I find this especially funny coming right after the phrase "I am intelligent, educated..."

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Tangwystal

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Post #: 17

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/28/2005 11:54:23 PM

Tangwystal

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

I hate "subbie" too... and the titles, well, those can be said by anyone, it's how you speak to someone that confers respect, not the words used.

just my humble opinion...

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Tangwystal

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Post #: 18

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/29/2005 1:50:53 AM

amme

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/20/2005
Status: offline

Personally I really like "Sir" and nearly always use it, now and again "Master" is more appropriate...but I would only ever use these terms with a very special person. As for "subbie" it doesn't really bother me...I prefer "wench"...only kidding.

(in reply to Tangwystal)

Post #: 19

RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/29/2005 2:30:33 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

I've always felt that I don't need a title to make me feel important, or dominant for that matter. I would prefer just to be who I am and have my submissive my way.
[/quote]

Funny, as i read this i couldnt help but think that the title of *Sir* is used so often in the Southern States in normal daily conversations in the Nilla world, then i see your one of us! Heck, your kids are just doing as taught! Subbie, IMHO? Oh Gag me... It can go hand in hand with those that insist on using their self appointed title. If i call one Sir in my own choosing, it may just be the *southern* thing, but if i use Master (or for a certain stalker, Massa) it's a form of respect. But again...... Subbie? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Post #: 20

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