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RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't like "Sir"


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RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/29/2005 3:42:24 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

i am new to all this , but from talking with poeple in the life style on line, i can say that i do not like being called a subbie and like being refered to as " slave" even less.


I have been in the lifestyle 10 years. In real life and on line when called a subbie I tend to quickly but respectfully correct people. I am a slave, and I dont find that title demening or insulting in the least.

I have always called my Master, simply that. Weither privately or publicly. Although when I introduced him to my family it was by his first name...lol I have never intorduced him to anyone as my boyfriend or anything like that , it just didnt seem appropriate.

As far as other Dominants, well depending on the situation and the formality or informality of it I have called others anything from their names to formal title. Rarely do I shorten someones name because I beleive a personas name carries meaning.

I only remember calling 1 Dom Sir and that was by his request. I tend to call most by name in informal situations or Master.

I dont like the term Ma'am it feels old, it reminds me of that old grouchy librarian from high school. I tend to call a Dommee's Mistress or Lady.

However, that being said one should not expect those titles online from me on a whim. They are more than a title to be used on a power trip or to get ones rocks off. They are precious and powerful, just as the word "mine" is.

I guess Ive rambled enough.

Blessed be

nika Phoenix's sadistic lil deviant






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(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/29/2005 4:35:29 AM   
selwyn


Posts: 6
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		Yes, the term "subbie" is way too cutesy & improperly familiar and I would feel disrespected if someone in the Community refered to me as a subbie. But truthfully, when my Domme calls me Her "little subbie", I get a warm gushy feeling........

Titles on the other hand have their place. I was taught always to address other Dom/Dommes/Master/Mistresses by their given name without title which is reserved for my Domme. Addressing their mail is another thing..............

And I am inclined to regard Dominants who insist on being addressed by people other than their bottoms as Master,Sir,Lord,etc.........as vain and pretentious. If I had to call a stranger "Master", it would be hard to do
with a straight face.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/29/2005 8:45:27 AM   
BlackGoddess2u


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		I don't like "Mistress"; my submissive husband calls me "My Queen" in public and in private. I call him by his nickname. I call him "subby" when I'm being mean, "my pet" when I'm not.

My .50 cents and keep the change ;)

(in reply to selwyn)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/29/2005 1:59:56 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		I don't mind the word Ma'am, as it denotes respect. I ask for email to be addresed to either My screen name of GoddessDustyGold or Ma'am. It sets the tone. If a boy is applying to Me for live-in, I guess I really want to see some sincerity right off the bat. And if a letter is appropriately addressed, even just to DustyGold, I am fine with it. I am not impressed with the many that begin "Hey", or "Hi Dusty". That is reserved for My regular friends. I also sign any replies as DustyGold. To My friends, and on these boards, I am Dusty. And, when writing (replying), I use a salutation of either the screen name, or a given name, if I have one.
In everyday living, I do want that respect. It creates the D/s atmosphere. And I can be shown plenty of respect without the titles. It is is the lack of respect, or the casual attitudes that get to Me.
I don't go into chat rooms. They give Me a headache. And I find Myself laughing as I picture the boy who is saying he is on his knees and bowing. I have to imagine him peeking up over the desk (for just the briefest moment, mind you!) to see his keyboard, so he can type those silly words.
So for Me, not the titles, but the respect. In this arena, I do feel that until I have shown I do not warant it, I can and should expect it. I show the same to anyone, regardless of how they may identify.



_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to domwolfe71)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/29/2005 2:49:01 PM   
chainedgirl


Posts: 142
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domwolfe71

I know what it is. My 35th birthday isn't that far off. I have so many of the kids that I work with calling me Sir, that it really bothers me to hear it in play. I have decided that I shall just use my name.



Explaining you are a teacher makes more sense now. Teaching can be seen as a service profession, and if you are called Sir in that i can quite imagine it just wouldn't fit when in Dom mode.

As for 35! my goodness, You had me thinking you were like 60 or something!! lol

As for titles, i don't have an issue with either Sir or subbie. i have an issue when someone expects me to call them "Master" because they say they are. i have one Master and one only. i will happily call anybody else Sir or Ma'am (won't say Mistress either cause She aint mine) but not Master. That is reserved for one. In publilc i try to use His name as little as possible, but its quite hard when around His mother cause she doesn't know about 'this' side of Him. my family do know however, so its much easier.

(in reply to domwolfe71)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/29/2005 7:08:09 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I see all these terms used on-line as well as R/l. It's not uncommon to hear Sir and Maam a lot at a munch and I do think in the right context it is a respectful term. I am bothered by those who demand it from submissives, I agree it should be a term used when "they" feel it is appropriate. As far as Master or Mistress, I honestly think those should be used exclusively for the particular sub/slaves Owner. I think a lot of it depends on who is saying the "title" if you want to consider it that. I still say thank ya Maam or TY Sir when I am in a store and I'm not being submissive, I'm just being polite, so perhaps it really is a perception thing. If someone calls me Sir, I consider it just that, being polite.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to domwolfe71)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/29/2005 7:21:18 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Congrats congrats congrats CONGRATS Hon!!! woooooooo hoooo.....

Hope things are going well = )

kelly

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/29/2005 10:01:10 PM   
sanita


Posts: 338
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		well, good thing it is usually in private r/t, or a private email or phone call, that Master calls me "subbie." it is a pet name for me, and if anyone else referred to me by that name, it would bother me.

please don't gag... i like being called "subbie," by Him

i was not to call Him Master, until i had passed a certain point. but "Sir?" i am in Texas, that comes out like breathing. *lol*

it makes me think of the "Schmoopy" episode of Seinfeld. does it remind you all of that? i promise, he will not call me subbie in line at a restaurant, unless, He is trying to make me blush and squirm.

also, if i may point out, he does not refer to me as "a subbie" or "My subbie," rather that is a pet name. usually, the word that follows "My" is "slave" or "girlfriend." so i am covered in the lifestyle, and in the vanilla world. *l*

all this goes to prove, is: To each their own.

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

(in reply to selwyn)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/30/2005 3:17:28 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		If I don't like it then I fix it with a spanking and some other punishment. Pet has been figuring it out and taking it very well. As for her having subbie at the end of her CM name which sounds a little to cute for my taste, it's not a big enough deal for me to hate and my pet has proven herself worthy of my love and Pain.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to domwolfe71)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/30/2005 4:42:07 PM   
glassdoll


Posts: 131
Joined: 4/24/2005
Status: offline 		wet sub:

i live in the south and have met alot of northers who find the word ma'am to very mocking. the way i was raised, it's just polite to address women who aren't familar with or a woman of authority as " ma'am" or "madam".

(in reply to wetsub000)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/30/2005 9:27:21 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		My mom always tried to get us to say Yes Ma'am when she was speaking to us and asked do you hear me or something as such.

It's all in tone I can make Yes Sir sound very sarcastic if I am not seriously being respectfull Not that I ever do say Sir sarcastically, there's just no reason to just saying.:P

(in reply to glassdoll)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 4/30/2005 9:32:04 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

live in the south and have met alot of northers who find the word ma'am to very mocking. the way i was raised, it's just polite to address women who aren't familar with or a woman of authority as " ma'am" or "madam".


This is funny, as whenever someone calls me Ma'am, my response is always "Ma’am is for blue haired ladies or southern belles, neither of which I am."

I prefer Ms, Miss or of course, Mademoiselle.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to glassdoll)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 5/1/2005 6:25:19 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I have a problem with "Sir" too.

(Easy joke. I'm a guy and Mistress would not like to be called "Sir" either.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to domwolfe71)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 5/1/2005 6:27:59 AM   
temptation


Posts: 111
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: heaven
Status: offline 		as an honorific to show respect, to a stranger or or someone you are serving, then yeah.. I suppose its great.

As a title? Sir ____________ <- insert; "dragon" "wolf" "domly dom" etc. it kinda irks me.

To have the title of Sir, you have to be knighted, and I seriously doubt everyone trolling around on IRC demanding to be called "SirWhatever" have been.

But then maybe i'm wrong. Perhaps us BDSM junkies will be the safest from the dragons when they come to attack us peasants in our village.

< Message edited by temptation -- 5/1/2005 6:30:59 AM >

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 5/1/2005 6:29:47 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

"Protocol"


There is the problem. Protocal should be what you and you parnter say it is. Who cares what Floyd the barber says it is.

By giving to "protocal" you and your parner would be setting up a Dominant more Dominant than the one in the realationship.

God, this is obvious. Why do I get a sense of Deja Vu for saying this?

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to domwolfe71)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 5/2/2005 7:02:45 AM   
sublisaann


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		I usually play in a room called silent-screams. Masters there prefer to be called Sir or Master if they are talking with their slaves. I do not find it degrading but consider it a sign of respect to them to call them Sir when they are good enough to spend time with me. I refer to dommes as Ma'am which i also consider a sign of respect. They normally refer to me by name or subbie and i accept that as a proper name for what i truly am.

(in reply to domwolfe71)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 5/3/2005 10:23:33 AM   
mynssa


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/29/2005
Status: offline 		things like subbie i find it hard to deal with.
being submissive doesn't mean i'm less than anyone else, and subbie is in all sense and purposes a diminuitive word so it is supposed to show as being less than.

as for sir, ma'am, mistress, master, lord.....

in the right relationships you'll find that those words don't seem to come up as much after you've connected and found the true name for the other.

my name right now is babygirl
to some it could seem offensive as making it seem an age thing or maturity thing, but to me it's endearing it shows that i will be cherished.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: I hate the word, "Subbie" and I Don't lik... - 5/4/2005 11:33:40 PM   
dsamethyst


Posts: 91
Joined: 9/20/2004
Status: offline 		I hate being called Ma'am and Mistress...my exhubby had a mistress...and well i dont want to be anyone elses...and as far as ma'am...Im a bit too young to be called ma'am. Its just my own thing i guess

_____________________________

people will forget what you said
they will forgive what you did
but they will never forget the way you made them feel

(in reply to domwolfe71)
Profile   Post #: 38
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