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Raphael -> RE: are You uncomfortable using racial humiliation? (5/11/2005 3:24:57 PM)
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I'm guessing here, but not completely in the dark. Your master is identified as white, and with a southern drawl, so I'll presume we have a bit in common there. It also seems safe to presume that he's non-racist, so we match again. So I'm going to assume that we're very much alike, and go from there.
Racism is stupid, ignorant, and just generally repulsive. And since we light-skinned southerners are continually demonised as a bunch of stupid, ignorant, repulsive racists, those of us with decent upbringings wind up compensating for that. We live our lives sensitive to avoid even the appearance of racism. It gets very deeply ingrained, and it can certainly go too far.
So when you ask him to call you that, you're asking him to go against one of his deepest instincts.
This is NOT a bad thing, don't get me wrong. I've gone through this, and I think it's very analogous to the earlier process I had to go through to reconcile the notion of being a gentleman and treating ladies properly with the whole dominant/master trip. Having a woman who adored this side of me, and gave me continuous support and reassurance that this was alright, that I wasn't just a bad person for enjoying it... that made a lot of difference.
And I think this is very much how you need to approach this. I'm guessing that he enjoyed it when you did this once - perhaps as much or more than you did. But there's this voice deep inside telling him that this was awful, and the fact he liked it is even worse. Talk to him. Let him know you liked it, and you hope he liked it too. Make it clear to him that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him, or you. Don't push too hard, too quick - but definately don't 'let it slide' entirely either. Give him a little time to come to grips with it, and I predict you'll be shocked how much he really does like it, once he becomes comfortable with expressing it.
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