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The language of submission - 4/23/2007 12:57:01 PM

RosaAzul

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/23/2007
Status: offline

Dear subs and slaves
How do you speak to your Dom(me)s, Masters and Mistresses to demonstrate your submission to them? I am having trouble expressing myself submissively, even though it is my greatest wish to please my Master. My language, body language and tone of voice are all wrong!
Gratefully
Blue

Post #: 1

RE: The language of submission - 4/23/2007 1:09:39 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RosaAzul
Dear subs and slaves
How do you speak to your Dom(me)s, Masters and Mistresses to demonstrate your submission to them? I am having trouble expressing myself submissively, even though it is my greatest wish to please my Master. My language, body language and tone of voice are all wrong!
Gratefully
Blue

And how long have you actively been working at it?

Changing all of that could take years to train properly. Are you giving yourself a fair shot at active training and practice, or are you getting all worked up about not being perfect right away?

Who cares what others do, what has your master ordered of you? What examples has he given you? What corrections does he make you in? You will need his specific guidance, your own in-depth awareness of your current habits, and a lot of work and forgiveness to become the person he wants you to become.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RosaAzul)

Post #: 2

RE: The language of submission - 4/23/2007 1:38:40 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

I have a tendency to sound a little harsher than Master prefers, and he brings it to my attention. Listen to your Master, take his cues. Practice when you're alone, even if it sounds stupid. Practice until YOU hear it ... and then practice until you FEEL it. Good luck.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: The language of submission - 4/23/2007 6:49:24 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

rosa,

i am dealing with similar feelings of inadequacy in another area...i feel like i am not progressing fast enough. the truth is, it's a process...it won't happen overnight. we have to stop being so damn impatient with ourselves. my advice would be to examine the things that cause you to speak in displeasing ways - the thoughts, emotions, circumstances, etc. - and see if you can change patterns that cause that kind of speech. in this way, you're not just berating yourself and trying to change things on a superficial level to meet an ideal, you are growing in your knowledge of how you respond/communicate/identify in your relationship. overall, know that you won't get everything right the first time...and that's okay.

good luck.

annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to RosaAzul)

Post #: 4

RE: The language of submission - 4/23/2007 7:49:25 PM

Obsidiansnamaste

Posts: 266
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Greetings Blue,

Try speaking a bit below you normal speaking voice. Lower you tone and your head a bit (this is so much easier to demonstrate ~sigh~ the limits of the internet) Do not make direct eye contact continuously as it is a sign of aggression to most most people. Prior to entering your Owners presence, take a moment to feel His Authority. Thing of His Ownership, Mastery and Power...it *does* make a difference. When you speak aim for deference. As opposed to "i want XYZ" you might try "Would it please You for me to have XYZ" (unless you're required to use 3rd person speech) Those are a few tips that come to mind right off.

_____________________________

Always in His service,

~Master Obsidians namaste
http://houseobsidian.wordpress.com
http://his-namaste.livejournal.com

(in reply to RosaAzul)

Post #: 5

RE: The language of submission - 4/23/2007 8:47:52 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

I can't imagine why he would still be with you if they were 'all wrong.' There must be something he feels you have to offer him or he wouldn't stick around. It does take time, patience, knowing yourself, and your partner. I gave up any hope of not sounding lame or stupid and just started trying to speak the way my Dominant wanted me to. It works well, I think.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to Obsidiansnamaste)

Post #: 6

RE: The language of submission - 4/23/2007 9:42:40 PM

zindyslave

Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

Since I talk rather loudly at times when I speak to my Master I lower my voice and my head a bit and it seems to work for us it makes me feel more submissive since my voice is lower than his. It is hard to explain I guess, I hope I made sense.

_____________________________

http://www.myspace.com/zindygirl

Only when you see the invisible can you do the impossible.

(in reply to junecleaver)

Post #: 7

RE: The language of submission - 4/23/2007 10:07:59 PM

myobedience

Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Obsidiansnamaste

Greetings Blue,

Try speaking a bit below you normal speaking voice. Lower you tone and your head a bit (this is so much easier to demonstrate ~sigh~ the limits of the internet) Do not make direct eye contact continuously as it is a sign of aggression to most most people. Prior to entering your Owners presence, take a moment to feel His Authority. Thing of His Ownership, Mastery and Power...it *does* make a difference. When you speak aim for deference. As opposed to "i want XYZ" you might try "Would it please You for me to have XYZ" (unless you're required to use 3rd person speech) Those are a few tips that come to mind right off.

I so totally agree with all of this..... with one difference.... I have been told I MUST look into his eyes, so that he sees my soul and spirit.

Even on th phone I practice this...always quieting myself before, to know, realize and feel his authority and control.

Awesome response Obsidiansnamaste !

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to Obsidiansnamaste)

Post #: 8

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 1:05:01 AM

greeneyes1962

Posts: 117
Joined: 9/7/2005
Status: offline

Well, I speak to Master normally, with a regular tone of voice, but always respectfully. We joke around a lot, laugh a lot.

If i'm not with vanilla folk, there is a specific way i'm to greet him when he calls me or I call him.

(in reply to RosaAzul)

Post #: 9

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 1:19:14 AM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

I talk normally, I wouldent be with a person who wanted me to change who I am for them, being who I am is what is supposed to have them want me to be with them.

_____________________________

Fuck the Pandas!
-Moi

Mmm, I love me some kickboxers, you know why? Cause ya'll cant take a punch!
- Quentin Tarantino.

If they cant take a joke, fuck em.
-Tucker Max

(in reply to greeneyes1962)

Post #: 10

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 1:31:29 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

You've been given a lot of good advice.

Personally, I am a bit hard of hearing, yet I still dislike listening to someone speak loudly. I would much prefer it if someone would come closer to me, and speak in a softer tone. Loud noises hurt my ears. I find when people speak in closer proximity with one another the need for loudness dissipates. It also creates a feeling of intimacy. I imagine if you took the time to kneel before your Master, and speak softly, close to his ear, it may make you feel more submissive, in feeling submissive, your tone comes across as such.

During the course of my work experiences, one person once told me "Smile before you pick up a phone and continue to smile while speaking to the person on the other end. By smiling, it forces you to sound pleasant and cheery." I've learned this to be relatively true, additionally, any emotion you 'feel' before you speak will be conveyed in your tone.

However, as many have already pointed out, you should discuss with your Master his desires of you and his methods of bringing those things out of you. Good luck!

_____________________________

4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

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(in reply to RosaAzul)

Post #: 11

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 2:13:51 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

It would be good to ask your Master what He expects. i made the fatal mistake of speaking my feelings which my Master took as being critical of Him. Now He indicated that He would entertain reconsidering but so far i have had to guess what the hell it is that He wants me to say and He will not give me any hints other than i am doing it all wrong. Hmmmmm guess that in itself is a hint...

Look, we are human beings. While i'm sure there are plenty who would prefer automatons, there are still folks who like human beings. Just prior to our breakup, i got down on my knees and said "Master, teach me how to be pleasing to You" If yours is the Master for you, He will be willing to teach you what you need to know.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to RosaAzul)

Post #: 12

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 8:41:40 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RosaAzul

Dear subs and slaves
How do you speak to your Dom(me)s, Masters and Mistresses to demonstrate your submission to them? I am having trouble expressing myself submissively, even though it is my greatest wish to please my Master. My language, body language and tone of voice are all wrong!
Gratefully
Blue

Who is saying it is wrong, you or your master?

I speak to Valyraen the almost the same way I did when I was just his friend because that is what he wants. I call him Valyraen just as much as I call him Sir. I speak a bit more respectfully sometimes, but how I address him is very much the same. We just don't feel the need to demonstrate my submission in how I speak to him. However, there is something I do when addressing over masters/mistresses that, in a way, shows my submissions to Valyraen. I will not give the word master or mistress a capital letter unless it is part of a name. Even then, I'm not going to do it just because you showed up and said your name is "Master Von Spanks a Lot". It is what he desires, so it is what I do.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RosaAzul)

Post #: 13

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 8:44:19 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Obsidiansnamaste

Greetings Blue,

Try speaking a bit below you normal speaking voice. Lower you tone and your head a bit (this is so much easier to demonstrate ~sigh~ the limits of the internet) Do not make direct eye contact continuously as it is a sign of aggression to most most people. Prior to entering your Owners presence, take a moment to feel His Authority. Thing of His Ownership, Mastery and Power...it *does* make a difference. When you speak aim for deference. As opposed to "i want XYZ" you might try "Would it please You for me to have XYZ" (unless you're required to use 3rd person speech) Those are a few tips that come to mind right off.

I've only heard that from one person and it had to do with his hertiage (are you native American by any chance?). Everyone else I've talked to considers it a sign of respect. I am required to look into Valyraen's eyes so that he knows I am paying attention.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Obsidiansnamaste)

Post #: 14

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 8:49:58 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RosaAzul

How do you speak to your Dom(me)s, Masters and Mistresses to demonstrate your submission to them?

in a manner that is pleasing to Him.

quote:

...I am having trouble expressing myself submissively, even though it is my greatest wish to please my Master. My language, body language and tone of voice are all wrong!

has He let you know what sort of language, body language and tone of voice He finds pleasing? if not, this slave would encourage you to ask Him.

(in reply to RosaAzul)

Post #: 15

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 9:13:09 AM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

i always speak with R-E-S-P-E-C-T and i speak from my heart. That's it. It's nothing i have to think about or practice. It comes naturally. Then again, i was raised to always speak respectfully and i had 12 years in the military where i always spoke with respect, even when i disagreed or had a conflict with the other person. Like anything else, the more you do it the easier and more natural it becomes so that it's automatic and you don't have to think about it.

i always address my Master as Sir or Master, every time i speak to Him even if it just to ask Him if He would like a cup of coffee.

i can get pretty emotional, at times, and that's when i sometimes need to take a breath, take a moment, or even take a walk, before i speak so that i don't allow my emotions to get in the way of what i am trying to communicate.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: RosaAzul

Dear subs and slaves
How do you speak to your Dom(me)s, Masters and Mistresses to demonstrate your submission to them? I am having trouble expressing myself submissively, even though it is my greatest wish to please my Master. My language, body language and tone of voice are all wrong!
Gratefully
Blue

(in reply to RosaAzul)

Post #: 16

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 9:39:49 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I agree woth most of the others said about speaking with respect. I have another idea takw a moment and think of what you want to say. I am not saying not to obay just take a second or so and think of what you want and how you want to say it. I alway speaking to my Master in terms or Respect evnn though i do tease him a bit if i go to far he lets me know and i do call him Master.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

Post #: 17

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 9:57:37 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

If you have got to the position of belonging to someone, surely what you say and what you mean matters more than how you say it? If it's about presentation, and he's particular, why doesn't he give you instructions?

If you are yelling * Here's your coffee, motherfucker*........ahem.

agirl

(in reply to RosaAzul)

Post #: 18

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 10:15:03 AM

blushingflower

Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

Has he given you instructions that you're simply having a hard time putting into practice? Sometimes we're so used to our own speech habits and patterns that we don't know how they sound to other people. Daddy will say I'm whining when I don't think that I am, but then if I look back at it, I understand. He also cautions me against what he calls my "dumbass voice", which is when my tone implies that I think the person I'm speaking to is a moron, as though there's a silent "dumbass" at the end of the sentence.
Try to aim for having a silent "sir" at the end of every sentence.
If he hasn't given you specific instructions, approach him and say "excuse me, sir. I want to be pleasing to you, but I am afraid that I don't know how. Will you please help me be a better slave/sub/pet/girl/whatever for you?"
Are you criticizing your own actions, or is he correcting you? If he's simply telling you that what you're doing is wrong, but not offering you instruction on how to do it right, then ask him. I know this is hard (gods, do I ever know). But if you truly want to please him, then you have to know what it is that pleases him.
Consider, when approaching him, what you would say if instead of your Master he was your boss or your teacher. That might help you get your body language and tone closer to what he wants.

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 19

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 10:17:04 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyes1962
Well, I speak to Master normally, with a regular tone of voice, but always respectfully. We joke around a lot, laugh a lot.
Same here, greeneyes. Master has no interest in 3rd person speech, having my eyes downcast or away from Him, or any other protocols such as those. He has always made it very clear to me that He loves my eyes looking into His and sees that as a sign of respect, not aggression. He has stated that when people in general won't look Him in the eye, He feels perhaps they are being evasive or dishonest. i am instructed to speak as i would with anyone else as far as tone but always with respect (as has been mentioned many times already). As you mentioned, W/we also joke and laugh alot. O/our common senses of humor was one of the main things that first drew U/us together and W/we didn't do away with that once W/we entered into O/our M/s relationship. Master is fond of saying that He loves how my submission shows through so clearly in EVERY situation. He doesn't have to be "crackin' the whip" (literally or figuratively) for me to realize He is still Master and i am still His property and am to be pleasing to Him in everyway. i am sure many M/s couples have very different beliefs as to what the "language" of submission is but none of that really affects you in the long run - simply do what is most pleasing to YOUR master........slave luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to greeneyes1962)

Post #: 20

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