quote:

ORIGINAL: angeleyez1983

long story short, He hurt me emotionally with words on Sunday (which he has apologised about, admitting He was more harsh than needed be, and had no right to do so), which i have been trying to deal with. 
To me, this line jumped right out.  If you have been "trying" to deal with it, it's obviously not dealt with (not behind you, you're not "over it," etc.).  So, this indicates to me that, even though he apologized, it's not settled with you.  Perhaps you didn't really believe/truly accept the apology?  That happens.  Obviously something like this is the case as you were bothered enough to bring it back up to him. 

However, yesterday when i brought it up as i felt it was important to communicate my unhappiness to Him, His response was simply “get over it.  This response caused even more harm, and i feel like it has killed the trust and respect i had for Him.
i also think it was important to communicate your unhappiness to him.  What's the alternative?  Feeling upset but refusing to be honest and say so?  For me, this would only cause resentment to build up.  There have been times in O/our relationship when i have been upset by something and initially chose not to tell Him of it or discuss it.  He can always tell because i cannot really hide my feelings.  When He asks me, i always end up being totally honest with Him.  If i weren't, i know i would feel resentment and there would be a wall between U/us.  This is not acceptable in O/our relationship.  He owns me and He is entitled to know everything i'm thinking or dealing with emotionally.  He WANTS to know so that W/we can work things out if they need to be.  i cannot imagine Him ever saying "get over it."  If i COULD get over it, i already would have.  i wouldn't need to talk it out with Him.  He knows that and by dismissing me in such a selfish way, that would do nothing but cause further harm as you said it did for you.  i agree that if that were to be Master's reaction to me, it would indeed diminish the trust and respect i have for Him because it would seem to me like He couldn't be bothered with my "petty" emotional well-being.
 
i again made an attempt to talk to Him trying to explain that His response to me has only hurt more, He again has apologised, but i feel now that i cant (maybe don’t even want to) place that trust in Him again. 
Someone can apologize over and over but if it isn't sincere or if the person to whom it is directed doesn't accept it for whatever reason, there is work still to be done.  He apologized once but there were obviously still some issues needing to be addressed.  So, it seems you tried to address them and he said "get over it."  This made matters worse so you once again tried to communicate this and it seems He still refuses to hear.  Yet...he issues yet another "apology."  To me, if he was really "sorry," He would stop issuing apologies and just listen to why you are still hurt.
 
i am confused, i care about him, am committed to this training, but i am finding it really hard to talk to Him, let along be in the same room as Him right now. 
This is that resentment i spoke about.  If Master told me to "get over it" and wouldn't hear me out as to why i still felt hurt, i can guarantee there would be resentment.  i entered into O/our M/s relationship with absolute trust that there would be open, honest communication and that i could always depend on Him to listen to my concerns.  Granted, there is no guarantee my concerns are going to influence or sway His decisions and that's fine, but He ALWAYS allows me to speak my mind, even when my thoughts/opinions may not agree with His.  To me, this is so vital. 
 
Maybe just a little space would do us both good?  As i am new to this lifestyle, my reaction in a "vanilla world" would be to walk away from this relationship.
i would suggest just the opposite.  Seems like there is already too much "space" between Y/you.  If i found myself in this situation, i would be upfront with him.  i would tell him just what you have expressed here:  that you, for whatever reasons, couldn't accept the apology, that you are even more hurt by his seeming dismissal of your efforts to discuss why, and that, if this were a vanilla relationship, you would be heading for the door.  If you truly don't want to leave, i would tell him all this and ask for his help.  Seems to me putting more space between you is the worst thing you could do at this point.   

We have both agreed that we will not discuss it any further as He, nor i like harbouring on issues, and after all the apologising, it has been discussed enough.
Yeah, seems to me as upset and hurt as you are, the best thing to do is just agree to not talk about it anymore.  Just shut up, be stoic, don't harp on it, and just forget about it.......NOT.  It's not going to disappear.  Whenever i have something that's bothering me, Master insists W/we talk about it until it's worked out - no matter how long that takes.  Sometimes i tell Him i know it's petty and i feel badly for bringing it up, but He always assures me that if it concerns me and my well-being, it is NOT petty to Him.  It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about this - if you are still bothered by it, just shutting up and burying it unresolved is only going to lead to deeper problems later, i can assure you.  It obviously hasn't been discussed enough if it hasn't come to a resolution. 

However, there is still that issue of me feeling like i dont have that mutual respect amymore...and my trust in Him is very weak right now.  So now the real advice i need…how do i get back into that head space i was in before this all happened…how do i go back…
i don't think you CAN get back into it until this is worked out. 
 
i know everyone is different, and deals with things in their own way, but has anyone been in a similar situation and can offer some advice / guidance. 
As you say, everyone will offer different advice.  i've already read some that are basically blaming you and telling you it's your fault for not getting over it (just like he did).  That reasoning works for some but not for me.  If my Master thought for a second that i was bottling up my hurt feelings just to pacify Him, He would be pissed.  He owns all of me and takes responsibility for my well-being, both physically and emotionally.  Along with all the rights His ownership brings Him, it brings responsibilities too.  If my headspace is not as it should be, He will not rest until it is and, for U/us, this involves listening and Him respecting my feelings, even if He doesn't always perfectly understand them.  Drama for drama's sake sucks and i am absolutely NOT into it. But to me, it is absolutely NOT drama when i just can't get past something and i genuinely need His help.  If he's really the master for you, He will help.  If not, perhaps he needs someone who will just keep it all bottled up inside and be miserable.  That's just not my definition of a relationship.........slave luci 

quote:

ORIGINAL: angeleyez1983

His last apology was very sincere, and i accepted it 100% but that’s not what is my problem. Its not the apology, or the forgiving, or the fact that feelings were hurt, that i have written off as a "bone head mistake". It happens, i know this, sometimes we say things which could of stayed, all that has been resolved.

The dilemma i have now is that if i cant share what made me unhappy then i definitely can not share everyday “petty” emotions, just thoughts and feelings that is going through me, not because i want him to change who and what He is, but simply because its on my mind, and i would like to share it with someone who, from day one, claimed that my thoughts (even the petty ones) are important to Him ( I am in no way talking about silly rants like how much I hate work, or my boss annoys me or how much I want vacation) and if i can not share my feelings, i feel that i can not enter the playroom with him.

We all hurt people with things we say, i agree with this 100% and yes, often its easy to just get over it, or push it aside as a “bone head mistake”, i  am sure He has hurt me before with things He said, but He dealt with it immediately, and i cant even remember what subject matter was involved, so i felt i could bring up what was bothering me but after sharing, it only became more of a problem.  So now i am feeling i can’t tell Him what’s on my mind, yet this is something He requests i do.