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need advice - 4/30/2005 2:39:18 PM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

I would really appreciate it if Master/Dominants would take the time to reply (thanks)

What if your Master has a fault and someone points it out to him and he outraged asks you (his slave) point blank, "Do I have this fault".
As his slave do you give him the pleasing answer of no of course you do not have that fault or do you tell him the truth. The fault is not like bad breath it is more like someone who is sloppy or someone who is absent minded.

Post #: 1

RE: need advice - 4/30/2005 3:29:40 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

I always demand honesty. One day I started singing a beetles song to pet. I asked her if I had a good American Idol singing voice. She replied "I like your voice because you sang it to me" Well I can take a hint but I reasked the question. She replied back with a funny smile "Yeah." I said "You're a bad lier you know that?" In most relationships lifestyle or not, most ppl like to help the other one improve. We harrass each other all the time about diet and exercising as well as studying and going to bed early for more sleep.

If he/she ask then you need to be honest. That's what builds a relationship. If he's getting mad because of your honest oppinion in helping him improve, then I'd start looking to get out of the relationship before he gets violent without your submission.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 2

RE: need advice - 4/30/2005 4:43:46 PM

MrKite

Posts: 94
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

No matter what the relationship or role one might be in, that is a hard thing to deal with. If you’ve followed some of mine or cello’s post you’ll know that we went through an experience that was very much like your dilemma. The only difference being that she brought up the issue first, much to my chagrin. I think that we Dom males have a difficult time facing our faults and flaws by the nature of our personality types.

Personally since I believe that my chosen lifestyle is one that focuses on bringing out the best of each of us, I expect my slave to correct me when I make an error or what ever. That way I can be a better Dom for her.

Its not easy for any one to point out the failings of a loved one but it can be done. Using love and respect you can broach the subject and help your partner become a better person. I don’t know what your life style or rituals are like but I suggest that you might try bringing up this matter with the sweetest submissive voice. You can explain that you want your Dom to be the best that he can be and that you bring this matter to light because you love(if that’s the case) him and you can help him make the corrections necessary. You can probably expect a not so pleasant reaction at first but if you can plant the seed of thought it will grow. I’m sure you’re smart enough to know not to nag the issue.

I truly hope my suggestions help.

All the best

Kite

_____________________________

If it feels good, do it.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 3

RE: need advice - 4/30/2005 5:02:45 PM

dragonofjapan

Posts: 91
Joined: 6/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: What if your Master has a fault and someone points it out to him and he outraged asks you (his slave) point blank, "Do I have this fault".

My personal opinion? Kiss kiss feet and say, "yes. and I will continue to love you and serve you. Is there anything else?"

While I DO walk on water, I have been noticing occasionally my socks get wet.

Zip

_____________________________

He who rules truly serves
She who serves truly rules

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,
but by the things which take our breath away

Honor is not making good choices,
it is dealing with the consequences.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 4

RE: need advice - 4/30/2005 5:10:33 PM

MasterMacKenzie

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

Honesty is always the best policy in most all situations. However, We all have the right to have whatever faults We wish, therefore it is not an admission to a negative statement. There are indeed respectful methods in which to answer your Master if he is asking for the truth.

Keep in mind as well, each slave or submissive is trained differently. If you were trained to give the "pleasing" answer always praising your Master true or not, than you should know what to do already. If you were not trained in thes manner at all.... then perhaps you might first request or ask for such training or guidance before you give such an opinion.

Master or submissive, Dominant or slave....
We are all people and fall mostly into personality types and Character traits. perhaps you will find your answers not so surprising to your Master if you are respectful and humble.

Master MacKenzie
www.twisted-events.com

Attachment (1)

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 5

RE: need advice - 4/30/2005 6:22:25 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

If your master asks you a question, answer it honestly. If he can't handle the truth, he shouldn't be asking questions.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 6

RE: need advice - 4/30/2005 7:33:50 PM

MasterMindMesmer

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/4/2004
Status: offline

If you were a diplomatic slave, you'd say, I don't know, or that you need more time to figure it out, you are too busy being a slave to notice.

Or, you'd say, but tell that it is not important to be all knowing, or perfect, or you like him the way he is makes him more human that he has the faults.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 7

RE: need advice - 5/2/2005 10:28:34 AM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

I agree with most of the comments here.
Honesty is totally important in any relationship especially a D/s one.
For a slave to hold ANYTHING back is not a good thing even if it maybe difficult for the D part of the relationship to accept

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 8

RE: need advice - 5/2/2005 11:06:40 AM

Padrone49

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

Hi kisshou, at times truth and honesty has its' consequences but I feel a slave should always be honest with her Master. If you're asked a question than anwer it honestly. In order to deflect a little crtiticism maybe somehow soft shoe the answer with a caveat such as, ' yes you are rather untidy at times but I know you're busy and your'e still my Master, etc..' What's the downsidel? Perhaps if he's an immature, self centered, hot tempered type guy, the slave might have a reddened ass but sometimes the truth actually does hurt. The upside is that just maybe he would consider your honesty (as his slave who should know him best) and without further ado or fanfare. If he has any noodles at all and a degree of self respect he just might quietly accept her truthfulness and rest be assured, he'll think about it and maybe improve on whatever the fault might have been. I wish you well.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 9

RE: need advice - 5/2/2005 12:54:51 PM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

If your master asks you a question, answer it honestly. If he can't handle the truth, he shouldn't be asking questions.

Ditto.

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 10

RE: need advice - 5/2/2005 3:38:30 PM

SenorX

Posts: 142
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline

I agree with the general consensus here. Although the Lifestyle of deviance is that of conformity through the acceptance of nonconformity, there are certain precepts that are pretty much adhered to by those who really live their lives within the Lifestyel, so to speak... and Honesty is one of those elements that draws so many to the Lifestyle of Ds. I know that there are many folks who play BDSM that merely play, but those who live their lives being able to embrace Ds will basically agree that without Honesty, the trust cannot really be there. And if the trust is not there, then the Honesty of the relationship may be questionable.

Best Regards,

X

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 11

RE: need advice - 5/2/2005 6:17:15 PM

TolerableCruelty

Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline

As far as answering and all that jazz, yes, I'd recommend honesty. Its always the best policy. What I was kind of unnerved about though that you say he was "outraged"..... I know not all have total control over their emotions at all times, but what can be so serious a flaw in ones character that they become outraged when its pointed out ? Seems like there's something a little deeper there to Me.....

-Trav-

_____________________________

Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to SenorX)

Post #: 12

RE: need advice - 5/3/2005 5:40:01 AM

BobcatsLilMinx

Posts: 201
Joined: 4/8/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

A sub/ slave should always be honest... but I try to be a little diplomatic, and tactful. Although as Lordandmaster said, if he asks, he should be be prepared for an honest answer.

I had a Master who asked me if I thought he was "strong", and he meant it in the sense of "Is my will strong enough to keep you obedient?" The sad fact of the matter with this man was that he thought himself to be of stronger character than he really was, and the answer was no, he wasn't really enough. An honest "no" would have been too brutal, I did care about this man - and "yes" would have been an outright lie. After a little thought, I softened it as best as I could by telling him the areas I thought he was strong with, and then suggested other areas that might need a little work, pointing out that they could be worked upon, and that I was happy to continue to serve him while he worked on them, and would help in whatever way I could.

But if you have no choice other than to lie or tell the truth, then tell the truth, everytime. Otherwise you are only aiding a self-deception, which is not a good thing...

Just my thoughts,
Minx

(in reply to TolerableCruelty)

Post #: 13

RE: need advice - 5/3/2005 6:27:41 AM

Solitarius

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

Honesty is always the best policy. If he can not handle the truth when faced with it, then you should run, because he is not willing to grow as a person, and will always live his life not understanding in himself, so therefore not undestanding in you either.
That is something that everyone does in this lifestyle, both Dominates and subs.

_____________________________

"What lies behind you and what lies before you are small matters compared to what lies within you!"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to BobcatsLilMinx)

Post #: 14

RE: need advice - 5/3/2005 6:41:12 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Ok... now I am looking at the flip side of the coin.

Sorry kisshou, I had avoided answering your post, because you asked for Masters/Dominants to reply - but after viewing the replies, I wished to put across a thought.

When Owned, one still has their own mind. But the submissive/slave - whatever you are labeled as - is their Masters/Mistress full stop. And all that they are, all that they become is part of Him/Her.

Therefore, when a Master/Mistress has, what is seen as a fault by others, then a submissive cannot be expected to see that fault, because although a Dominant isn't 'perfect', to the submissive, He/She is -just- right.

I would suggest that what someone sees as a fault, another sees as a blessing. The Master/Mistress should not accept the word of another, unless that word is already deemed admirable by the Dominant concerned.

I am not sure if I am making much sense, but it seems to me that it isn't so much about truth and honesty, it is about a submissive accepting their Dominant as He/She is - and sod the rest.

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 15

RE: need advice - 5/3/2005 6:48:50 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I accept the Owner as he is, but that doesn't mean he's perfect, that he doesn't make mistakes or all those other things.

He EXPECTS me to speak up if I notice something- like the steaks are being cooked too long, or conflicts in his schedule, or some fact he might have confused.

Some dominants might not expect that of their property and that's fine, but pointing out things and helping eachother become better is not rejecting someone. A dominant isn't rejecting a sub as she is just because he wants to make her better. Same the other way around.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 16

RE: need advice - 5/4/2005 4:42:28 AM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

Gosh Master MacKenzie,

thank you so much for your post. It put me right back in my place and made me realize deep down i did know what to do (be pleasing). I was not sastisfied with myself over the same fault in question and was projecting that onto him. I am really ashamed of myself for my behaviour, I realize now I was totally taking for granted the truly wonderful , amazing person that He is. Thank you again , you touched me with your words :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMacKenzie

Honesty is always the best policy in most all situations. However, We all have the right to have whatever faults We wish, therefore it is not an admission to a negative statement. There are indeed respectful methods in which to answer your Master if he is asking for the truth.

Keep in mind as well, each slave or submissive is trained differently. If you were trained to give the "pleasing" answer always praising your Master true or not, than you should know what to do already. If you were not trained in thes manner at all.... then perhaps you might first request or ask for such training or guidance before you give such an opinion.

Master or submissive, Dominant or slave....
We are all people and fall mostly into personality types and Character traits. perhaps you will find your answers not so surprising to your Master if you are respectful and humble.

Master MacKenzie

(in reply to MasterMacKenzie)

Post #: 17

RE: need advice - 5/4/2005 7:04:37 PM

Overlord218

Posts: 53
Joined: 1/26/2005
Status: offline

Ok, being flippant here seeing as anything I can add is only reinforcing everyone else on this thread.

Rule No. 1... The Dom is always right.

Rule No.2... When the Dom isn't? Refer Rule No.1

Myself personally, I'm never wrong. Once I thought I was, but I was mistaken.

_____________________________

Overlord 218

A little pain is good for the soul. Ask any masochist.

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 18

RE: need advice - 5/4/2005 8:29:23 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

I would want my slave to answer truthfully. I mean, otherwise, what would be the point in asking, aside from pointless ego-stroking? And here's the cool part: My slave WOULD answer honestly. There is a lot of honest communication in our relationship. Also a lot of caring for each other and a shared desire for improvement. We know that we are a unit, and that what benefits one of us also benefits the other.

Bob

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 19

RE: need advice - 5/5/2005 4:36:37 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Aye answer it honestly and when they get mad

look demore and innocent and say

"BUT Master, i thought i was too always be honest"

or

"my humble opionon is of no great consquence"

that way if he re asks.. you've already stated its your opionon
and not a fact

doesnt mean he has to agree or like your opionon

hehehehe

or you could just say quite honestly

"yes and it drives me nuts to the point where i have looked else where"

That'd shut him up
or get you released

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 20

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