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How many of you are willing - 4/25/2007 7:36:48 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		To take a newbie and instruct them in the lifestyle, supposing they are honestly willing to make the effort for you? Is it something you enjoy, or avoid like the plague? Why? All answers submitted become property of the OP and will not be returned.

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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/25/2007 7:40:50 PM   
Invictus754


Posts: 521
Joined: 12/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9
To take a newbie and instruct them in the lifestyle, supposing they are honestly willing to make the effort for you? Is it something you enjoy, or avoid like the plague? Why? All answers submitted become property of the OP and will not be returned.


I would suppose most Dom/Dommes would be willing to instruct a newbie in the Lifestyle (assuming that they are looking in the first place).  There are so many 'what-ifs' in your question that it is hard to answer without putting a lot of qualifications on the answer, however.

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You never know your limits, until you push them
If slavery is a gift, the Africans were pretty fucking generous in the 1700 and 1800s, weren't they?

(in reply to Kitte9)
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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/25/2007 7:40:51 PM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline

To take a newbie and instruct them in the lifestyle, supposing they are honestly willing to make the effort for you?
Been there, done that.
Is it something you enjoy, or avoid like the plague? We both enjoy it.
Why? Watching someone grow and change and seeing their eyes when they realize who they are and what they want, the fun of being "first" to show them something, as many different reasons as there are people I suppose.



_____________________________

He held out His hand and said "Step into the abyss with me."

... and i did.


~Surrender without Fear~
~Power without Guilt~
~Love without Doubt~

(in reply to Kitte9)
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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/25/2007 7:42:54 PM   
mstrj69


Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline 		Something I would enjoy.  Why, because we are starting with the proposition they are willing to make the effort for me and from there, anytime you can improve someone else and help them , it comes back many times over whether they stay with you or move on to someone else.  It just makes me happy accomplishing it if they give me the time.

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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/25/2007 7:46:32 PM   
mp072004


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		I'm typically happy to answer questions from new people. New people are fine playmates if they have some idea of what they want--ditto people who are new to some aspect of BDSM, such as people who have never bottomed, but who have topped before. I understand that people grow and change over time, but presumably everyone who has never done BDSM before and is seeking a BDSM relationship does so because something in particular sounds appealing about BDSM. If someone "wants BDSM" but he or she doesn't know anything more specific, and he or she want me to teach him or her "to be a submissive," but can't express what he or she thinks this thing is that he or she wants to become, then no, we're not going to be well-matched.


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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/25/2007 7:46:45 PM   
Cyrano1


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline 		I would say yes mainly because it is most like sculpting a work of art that is as long as the newbie was true

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Cyrano

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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/25/2007 11:29:01 PM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

All answers submitted become property of the OP and will not be returned.


I was wondering about this part of your question.  Are you planning on using the responses you get here in a paper, an article, a book, etc?

Wickad

(in reply to Kitte9)
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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 2:31:16 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I love it because I am a natural teacher! I just love that look that they get in their eyes when the light dawns ...

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 2:51:54 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I've found that my master gets quite annoyed with me because I have so much less experience than he does. He finds many of my questions very naive and has expressed his frustration at them. I wish I'd been pre-trained, he's got far too much experience!

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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 2:55:15 AM   
merrysbrat


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/9/2005
From: Minnesooootah
Status: offline 		I don't think I would want to be with a dom who couldn't be patient with me and put up with questions. That would be like a teacher getting mad at his students for asking questions.

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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 2:56:42 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Some are natural teachers, and others don't have that affinity. Oh well, I learn by watching and doing rather than talking about it, which is not my best learning style, but so be it :)

(in reply to merrysbrat)
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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 3:29:06 AM   
leatherorlace


Posts: 215
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		Could his anger come from having some difficulty verbalizing his replys?
Gentry

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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 4:31:13 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I have a journal entry specifically stating I will train new people who are truly interested and deserving.  Keeping in mind I am the end all be all on who is deserving. So prove yourself!

I work with a man now, whom I LOVE.  Watching his expressions and hearing his thoughts when I do things with him is amazing.  It is as if he's a kid at Christmas and he doesn't know which present to express his gratitude and love over first.  After 13 years in this life seeing such vigor and freshness from another is beautiful, simply beautiful.
D~

(in reply to leatherorlace)
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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 6:03:34 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

To take a newbie and instruct them in the lifestyle, supposing they are honestly willing to make the effort for you? Is it something you enjoy, or avoid like the plague? Why? All answers submitted become property of the OP and will not be returned.


I've done this over two dozen times in my training. Most people I train I have no intention of ever owning. They come to me (men and women, too) because they believe I'm safe and knowledgeable. They have proven to me by actions and words that they are seriously interested in learning more and they take our training contract very seriously.

I am friends still with most of them with the exception of those who decided they wanted more with me than I thought was possible (anyone being rejected in any fashion will feel hostile). Most of them moved on to become active in other communities where they now live, some have become service tops as they found their drive was more to please regardless of role. I am proud of each of them.

I am exceedingly picky about who I will train because it is also a way to weed out potential slaves for my family AND I have limited energy and time.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Kitte9)
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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 6:40:07 AM   
temptressofsouls


Posts: 208
Joined: 3/29/2005
From: Toledo, OH
Status: offline 		In my four year journey in this lifestyle, I've met many wonderful people willing to take me under their wing....Offering instruction both online and off, whether for their personal use of me, or just offering training without a relationship (and no, Im not talking sex here). I've also met many people who dont mind the barrage of questions, who answer anything I threw at them so that I may learn more about the lifestyle, and I am truly grateful for those people.

However, I have also met those who want a pre-made, ready to go, heat and eat subbie-you know, no training required, just insert order, export obedience, and whom couldnt be arsed to train someone new. Now, dont get me wrong-some of them had busy lives and it wasnt a personal issue, they just didnt have TIME to train someone new. But there were far more who just couldnt be bothered too, and at the age of 19, I had a few people tell me I was "too young" for this lifestyle, which I thought was utter crap.

I understand many people dont find this lifestyle til their 30s, 40s, or older, and thats fine. But if I'm aware of it at 19, 20,  and aware that this is a part of who I am, why should I deny it until Im 30 or 40? By then I could have gained 10 or 20 years experience and become a wonderful sub.   *shrugs*

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 6:42:34 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Every time we start with a new sub, a well used sub or an experienced sub, we start a new journey together. It is not about me teaching someone how to be submissive but guiding them on how I expect them to be. If someone comes to me and wants to be taught to be a good submissive then I would say, ‘well you can pay me and I will teach you but you are wasting your money because all I can teach you is My way!
I would not be  teaching them the rights and wrongs of their ways so that they can go on to gain a scholarship in the art of submission. I can only work with them to find out if they are right for me and me for them. I could say I have trained submissives but that would be a misconception because I have only trained submissives how I expect them to be.
Any submissive that comes to me is ‘new’ to me. Anything he/she has learnt from another is of no value to me.
All is personal preference but first and foremost I would look for a person that is confident, in control of their life, articulate, intelligent, had good morals and reliability. New or experienced can provide this equally.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 6:46:20 AM   
TigressFL


Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline 		I am working with a newbie submissive couple right now. If I think they have potential and not a lot of drama in their life then I will certainly take a newbie on, however, I do not seek them out by any means. I actually prefer people that have experience and are already comfortable in their own skin, however, as you can see I still do not rule out newbies. It is more about the person than their experience level.

Tigress~FL

(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 6:48:49 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		But you could also be a wonderful sub within two months, 6 months, a year!
You could be a wonderful sub without ever being a submissive for anyone. There is no wrong way or right way except to the people involved. There is no right age or wrong age except to the people involved.
I have to say that I detest all this grooming bollocks that some dominants do. You have to do this that or the other to be a good submissive!!! Really what is all that nonsense?

< Message edited by MariaB -- 4/26/2007 6:50:58 AM >

(in reply to merrysbrat)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 6:56:17 AM   
temptressofsouls


Posts: 208
Joined: 3/29/2005
From: Toledo, OH
Status: offline 		*nods* You're right...if the communication and chemistry are there, it could only take a few months. Wonderful wasnt quite the word I was looking for, but I couldnt quite find the right one.


(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How many of you are willing - 4/26/2007 4:02:26 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The answer was pegged in the original question.  Depends on the amount of willingness.  It has to come with a desire to learn.  They also have to come with at least some expression of what it is inside of them that makes them a submissive.  They don't have to know all of the proper terminology, but they have to know that there is a part inside of them that makes them who they are.  Not one of those silly explanations of "kinky sex would be fun".
 
I don't avoid inexperience at all.  Bringing a submissive to new heights is very thrilling.  Excuse the analogy, but it's a lot like watching first steps.  We see people walking everyday, but there's no big deal in it.  But, watch the taking of first steps!  The joy, the delight, the utter thrill of something new, never done before!  The exhileration for the student, as well as the teacher, has little comparison. 

(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 20
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