The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom

The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (Full Version)

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MellowSir -> The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 7:39:39 AM)
Just wondering which type of dominant submissives prefer. In the vanilla world it appears there are many more women with cruel men than there are with caring ones. Does this carry over to bdsm circles as well? We all know the cliche' that women like bad boys, does that equate with mean?

CreativeDominant -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 7:44:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MellowSir Just wondering which type of dominant submissives prefer. In the vanilla world it appears there are many more women with cruel men than there are with caring ones. Does this carry over to bdsm circles as well? We all know the cliche' that women like bad boys, does that equate with mean? Personally, I believe myself to be both sadistic and sensual. I can be one without the other or I can combine both. It depends on my mood and what I perceive as being called for.

xotictxthorn -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 7:50:57 AM)
*Hello* *I agree with you on this topic. I consider myself a Sadistic Sensual Mistress. It works well with my natural Dominat personality. My sub/slaves seem to understand and love both.* *MsLain*

Asraii -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 7:55:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MellowSir Just wondering which type of dominant submissives prefer. In the vanilla world it appears there are many more women with cruel men than there are with caring ones. Does this carry over to bdsm circles as well? We all know the cliche' that women like bad boys, does that equate with mean? What exactly are you meaning by 'cruel'? If you are referring to 'mean', then I would have to point out that most of the sadistic men and women that I know are in no way cruel or mean. As for the rest of your question; does bad boy equate to mean; of course not.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 7:56:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MellowSir We all know the cliche' that women like bad boys, does that equate with mean? Given all the threads we have with doms complaining that subs tell them they are "too nice" I'd say more than likely. What most women want tends to be someone who will act mean and act nice depending on what will turn her on at that particular time :)

JSin -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 7:57:43 AM)
Yeah I am going to wiegh in on the "Why does it have to be an either or proposition?" I tend to vary my play based on what kinda stuff a sub is into. The other part of this is sensual play can be sadistic. Personally my interest is more in Mind Fuck, power and control. The tools I use to play this out are wide and varied from fairly sever pain play to something sensual prolonged play. Most often I have found,and yes I tend to be placed in the "Bad Boy" catagory, is the bad boy will attract them but mean won't keep them... I am as mean as circumstances demand. JSin

BeachMystress -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 8:09:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asraii I would have to point out that most of the sadistic men and women that I know are in no way cruel or mean. Exactly. None of the sexual sadists I know are sadistic outside of scenes. They are generally quite empathic and considerate. Emotional sadism, aka being mean or cruel, on an ongoing basis just isn't in the nature of most sexual sadists.

CrazyC -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 8:27:35 AM)
The fact that you are asking this question makes me wonder...do you know what kind of Dom you are? Vanilla and BDSM people are just the same. In the context you use for woman wanting "cruel men," I am assuming you are taking about the pattern of picking men who don't treat them well emotionally. If one is looking for someone who will hurt them emotionally, it is because they have psychological issues to deal with. This has nothing to do with a kink. Abuse is abuse no matter what form.

Trampler -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 8:49:34 AM)
Umm. I think he is just asking questions out of curiousity. Thats how we learn, we ask, observe and read.

MellowSir -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 8:50:08 AM)
Yes, I was wondering just how prevalent the patterns are. Any of us, with a bit of skill and elan' can assume the guise of being cruel while sceneing. I am more of a sensual nature, no less firm or controlling, just my particular path. Wouldn't mind a bit of advice on how to better recognize the signs of such in prospective subs. And of subs that prefer cruelty, is it by preference or the only love they've known?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 8:51:39 AM)
Well there is that long guarded secret of just asking them what they like and prefer. It's rare for a person to want only soft and sweet ALL the time. Most prefer some mix- the trick is to have compatible mixes.

MellowSir -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 8:55:12 AM)
In answer to asraii, what I mean by "cruel" is emotionally inconsiderate and lack of respect

MellowSir -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 8:56:14 AM)
that was a good statement lucky, I am such a mix lol, a veritable handful :)

SimplyMichael -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 8:56:27 AM)
Lucky we can't bitch slap anyone in here because the back of my hand would be fucking raw. Cruel and caring are matters of perspective. Unruly children are often the result of too much loving. Of course the reverse is true as well. Balance is the key. Constantly posting about why you are the only worthwhile dominate or that your style is better than anyone elses only makes those of us who have a clue think less and less of you. Which is pretty significant considering the deficit you began your posting career here with.

TopinPa -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 9:11:35 AM)
I'm not cruel nor have I ever been accused of being cruel But when it comes to scening with a sub I prefer her to be a masochist....for her sake and mine. Edge play is just fun to me. But I wouldn't do if the sub wasn't enjoying it. Also, I consider my sadism to be sensual

MellowSir -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 9:12:26 AM)
Why the stone casting, oh that's right, comes from a master who is master of all but obvious hatred.

Aileen68 -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 9:19:34 AM)
I like a mixture of the two, but not within a sexual context. I like sadistic during sex. When he tells me to shut the fuck up and slaps my face during sex...well that just gets me hot and leads to tears. If he were to tell me to shut the fuck up as he passed me in the kitchen, that would make me emotionally upset and lead to tears of a different kind. Does that make any sense??

Asraii -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 9:33:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MellowSir In answer to asraii, what I mean by "cruel" is emotionally inconsiderate and lack of respect If this is what you are referring to, then I would have to question why anyone would want to 'become' cruel. All too often we forget that these words have such a diverse difference in meaning for us. Cruel, mean, sadistic, inconsiderate; not all will look at these with the same definitions in mind. I have known men who were the typical bad boy image and yet, when it came right down to it, they had teddy bear hearts. And I have known men who from the outside seemed to be quiet, gentle and unassuming; only to let loose with an abusive 'meaness' behind closed doors. Looks can and will be deceiving. What you think is mean or cruel in another, may not exactly be what you thought it was.

mythi -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 10:13:28 AM)
In general I like a lil mean in my men, in the sense of having a bit of fight in my dog g But I prefer my D-types sensual not sadistic. I don't consider myself a masochist and cruelty of an emotional nature is off the table outside of a pre-negotiated emotional edge-play scene with someone with whome I'm very close and trusting. And of course, this is just me. Others definitely can vary widely from this in their tastes.

SimplyMichael -> RE: The sadistic dom vs the sensual dom (4/26/2007 10:14:47 AM)
You mistake casual annoyance for hatred, you don't have the talent nor the power to get me to hate you. I find it distasteful when some have to build themselves up by tearing others down. If I come in a say "I will create a fantasy world around you and anyone who doesn't do as I do is big meanie" you are tearing others down in order to build yourself up. I find you annoying because you get in the way of those of us who want to have genuine conversations filled with real expressions of ourselves, not overly inflated opinions designed to impress rather than educate. The women here who come to me do not do so because I am perfect but because I am open and honest about both my strengths and my weaknesses.

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