rskenderian -> RE: Don't cum until I say you can..... (4/26/2007 10:50:25 PM)
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hmmm... i began training myself when i first started masturbating to prolong my orgasms. So this whole thing about orgasm control is very natural to me - sort of like a 'given'. i can't imagine NOT having orgasm control, and the whole point is to cum on command. My problem is that i can't usually cum, and need to be trained TO cum. i just had sex for the first time in a year-and-a-half, and all the sucking in the world couldn't get me over the edge. i did ride the edge the whole time though, which was immensely pleasurable. i don't give myself permission to orgasm, so i actually need someone to train me and give me the permission. Punishment for NOT cumming would be antithetical, i do know that. :P But, for me, cumming on command is expected, very binding, very intimate. When You're the only person in the world who can make someone cum ... well .... there's a little relationship binding there - at least on the sub's part - amongst other things. But i don't see the point of 'cum-on-command' unless it's a marriage-type relationship. That's simply not something to do in a casual or non-committed relationship. When i hear talk about "... if the relationship should end ...", that gets to me a bit. If 'cum-on-command' is being used, it is expressly for the binding of the relationship .... otherwise, sorry, but i'd have to say that it's extremely negligent and irresponsibly selfish on the part of the Dominant. It's hot. Yes, very, and it's part of what makes a relationship just so very hot and good. Digression #1: LTR's i've had sex(?) of some sort or another(?) with about 1,000(?) various people(?) or people-types, and i've been in 4, 6, 10, 4 and 3 -year committed relationships, in chronological order, and in several shorter 3- to 6-month causal relationships here and there, as well as periods of up to 6 months, 1 year and 1-1/2 or so years of no sexual activity. No, i don't know how it's possible to fit all that into 43 years, but such it is true, so to an ex's utter delight, when She made me go over all the people i've had sex with in the last six months (ooops .. "a few", upon prodding, became some uncountable number i couldn't possibly remember). So, Shaureece can verify that it is impossible, but true, and just how it all happens to me. Sex happens, oddly enough. So, longer-term relationships are the absolute best, as far as i'm concerned. All my best sexual memories are from my long-term relationships, and all the hottest stuff happened in LTR's that were well-developed, going on 2+ to 8+ years. Unfortunately, every woman i've been in a relationship with ultimately became so depraved, sexual, free, and/or selfish, lost their "Fear of Flying", that they just drifted away amongst the masses of sex, orgasms, tongues, and penises out there. My sweet ex-fiancée in a summer dress is now a self-admitted sex-slut last known into tit torture (and you better give her at least 8 orgasms, or she won't be seeing you no mo', no mo', no mo', no mo'), and my ex-Wife is now a self-oriented Domme that you'd better fist for hours ... off the bed, out the room, down the stairs, and finding yourself in the neighbor's yard - 583 non-stop orgasms (really) later (Hers! not yours! you selfish idiot! what kind of sub are you?! and where are you taking Me out to dinner? I'd better like it, as I can't stand things I don't like, which is most of everything.). Love conquers all. Yeah. End Digression #1 But.... back to the topic.... i'm insain (a tribute to Miss Artemesia, somewhere last known in Brooklyn) with orgasm control and 'cum-on-command'; i don't want another relationship without that. Oh, and i only want one more relationship. Orgasm control is for everyone's heightened enjoyment. "Cum-on-command" should be reserved for committed relationships. Why would CoC be used else-wise? Because You find it hot? Because You feel powerful or something ... i don't know. But that's the privilege of committed relationships ... no condoms, CoC, all the best of the best. If You're not making or giving or offering that commitment, i don't think You should be asking for that kind of commitment. CoC is that kind of commitment. So, now You have Your sub trained to cum on Your vocal permission only ... and You decide You don't want Your sub anymore, and You want a different one now, so the relationship somehow "ends" ... man, that's beautiful. Great job. i don't have much in the way of Morality, but that's just non-Human. That seems more like the action of the highly intelligent, self-aware (sometimes) animal called "Homo-Sapiens" by science, which populates this planet, and looks and walks and learns to speak and say all the things Humans say and do. Difficult to tell them apart. Except Homo-Sapiens always end up making animal choices, while Humans always end up making Human choices. Digression #2: Of Human Being and Homo-Sapiens People have discussions like this because of Human-kind's inability to "Know Thyself" - or, more importantly, accept the truth. All men are NOT created equal, as is so obvious it need not be said. There are people who are more Human, and people who are more Homo-Sapiens. It's just a fact, like any other distribution of Human traits, such as IQ or penis length or breast size. The spectrum varies widely. There's nothing wrong with anything we inherently are, since we don't create ourselves, Nature does. So, there is no moral argument against being a Homo-sapiens and lacking in those intangible Human traits - as long as it is understood and accepted. Pretending to be a full Human Being when you have below-average levels of compassion isn't doing anyone a favor. In lieu of higher Human functions of Humanity, you require rules and you have to learn how to be responsible and compassionate - from Humans. That's ok; they make your life better, because they actually have real, true compassion - something a Homo-Sapiens doesn't quite understand or feel. You can actually trust a real Human Being. Most of the discussions here - and anywhere, and everywhere - are between Homo-Sapiens and Human Beings. The subject of all discussion here - any everywhere - is the context of the fact that there are Homo-Sapiens and Human Beings on this planet, living side-by-side, and not knowing who's who, and inherently trying to sort it out - without any conscious knowledge of what's really trying to be accomplished (in fact, denying the truth about what's really trying to be sorted out, because only a 'bad' person would make distinctions between equality of people .,. and so we all go 'round and 'round the discussion table, being 'good', and avoiding a very unpleasant - yet so very necessary - subject; that not all people are qualifiable as Human, and that many are only Homo-Sapiens - about 10%), and without any useful tools or comprehensive and accorded language (person, Man, individual, people, Human, Human-kind, man, male, Homo-Sapiens, etc..) to work with. If you think "Am I a Dom, switch, or sub?" is important ... how about; "Am I more of a Homo-Sapiens or more of a Human Being?" Before you do anything ... Know Thyself. People of equal Humanity are most fully compatible for honest and fulfilling relationships. Unfortunate - and what a mess, indeed - is the fact that not all people are created equal, and really not what-so-ever, and that our society still insists everyone is "equal". It takes a Human Being to answer the questions pertaining to Humanity. End Digression #2 So, 'cum-on-command' is reserved for committed, long-term relationships. End of story, end of argument or discussion; there is nothing to discuss, except the truth about Y/your commitment. Otherwise, there's damage being done. If damage is mutually desired, i can't say anything, and have nothing to say; but i just highly suspect that damage is not on the real agenda. Such is why these forums exist, such is why these questions are asked, and such is why these answers are given. That's coming from an Anthroponomically(c)-Approved(TM) Human Being(c)(TM). - puppy
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