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A question... - 4/26/2007 12:11:09 PM

dicipline2

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/4/2004
Status: offline

I understand that this is probably a matter of perspective, but I would like to ask something.

Does anyone consider a male sub that is hetereosexual but allows a Mistress to perform anal on him to be gay?

I know that I do not consider it gay given that gay = homosexual = sex with the same sex.

I only ask because I was having a conversation with a femsub who told me that male subs that allow that are gay. But isnt the point of it? to show submission? It can also be very humiliating and painful.
She insisted that this was ok for female subs to allow, yet men should never allow this because it was "gay". Well, I told her that gay means sex with men, not kinky sex with a woman, lol. She insisted to a near argument. I think this is just another case of a femsub trying to deter men from being submissives to women. Another "If aint M/f, it just isnt right" type. Why do femsubs do this? Are they this insecure? Are they woried that all the men are turning into submissives, lol? I just dont understand the femsub/Maledom nazi behavior.

I guess thats 2 questions in one....

< Message edited by dicipline2 -- 4/26/2007 12:12:30 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 12:23:53 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

It's a silly argument. That having anal sex equals being gay. It has nothing to do with a person’s sexual orientation. Since following that logic, women are then gay males because they have anal sex? (Just trying to show the silliness) See the silliness?

I don't think it's a femsub issue at all. A lot of men aren't comfortable with the action for the same reason. I'm thinking it was just this woman whom you were specking with opinion on the whole thing.

I don't think it's at all true.

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 2

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 12:34:00 PM

Red82

Posts: 79
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

I think it is terribly closed minded of her.

Is she also one of those fem subs that likes Gor? I have heard this similar argument from fem subs who lived a "Gorean lifestyle". Not all of them, but more than i can count.

(in reply to SunNMoon)

Post #: 3

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 12:34:49 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

There is also the fact that it assumes that all gay men have anal sex.

Some don't, they perfer oral or handjobs.

Sexual orientation is about attraction and identity, not sexual acts themselves.

The femsub who talked to you, disipline2, was speaking out her own butt about things she knows nothing about. The question is "why" would she say this to you? My guess is that she is uncomfortable with your own scene identity and so attacks to make herself feel better.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SunNMoon)

Post #: 4

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 12:35:49 PM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Men who only have sex with men are gay, men who have sex with men and women are bi, and finally men who only have sex with women even in the ass are heterosexual IMO.
suzanne

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 5

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 12:38:01 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dicipline2

I understand that this is probably a matter of perspective, but I would like to ask something.

Does anyone consider a male sub that is hetereosexual but allows a Mistress to perform anal on him to be gay?

I'm sure some people would. I wouldn't.

quote:

I know that I do not consider it gay given that gay = homosexual = sex with the same sex.

Not necessarily.

quote:

I only ask because I was having a conversation with a femsub who told me that male subs that allow that are gay.

I belive that would be referred to as ignorance. It's possible it's more stupidity than ignorance, but I would have to know her better before making that determination.

quote:

But isnt the point of it? to show submission? It can also be very humiliating and painful.

Yes, but it can also be very enjoyable, for both parties. Ask 100 dominant women what their reasons are for wanting to plow their male submissives and you're going to get all kinds of answers.

quote:

She insisted that this was ok for female subs to allow, yet men should never allow this because it was "gay". Well, I told her that gay means sex with men, not kinky sex with a woman, lol. She insisted to a near argument. I think this is just another case of a femsub trying to deter men from being submissives to women. Another "If aint M/f, it just isnt right" type. Why do femsubs do this? Are they this insecure? Are they woried that all the men are turning into submissives, lol? I just dont understand the femsub/Maledom nazi behavior.

She clearly has issues about something. Maybe finding out what they are will illuminate the reasons for her opinion.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 6

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 12:38:31 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
Status: offline

Perhaps one might consider it in this way...
in one's most delicious fantasy, is the object d'amour of any particular sex or not.

_____________________________

Black Water Dragon

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 7

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 12:48:58 PM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

She insisted that this was ok for female subs to allow, yet men should never allow this because it was "gay".

i can't believe she was able to say that and keep a straight face. my answer to your 1st question is...... having a woman use a dildo on you does not mean you are homosexual. The thing about the 2nd question is, some people are rude when expressing their view points.Alot of people feel its wrong for a man to submit to a woman... alot of people feel its not wrong....whats nice is when a dialog can happen because both view points are being expressed in a manner that promotes healty exchange. i'm sorry your conversation with that female sub was so distasteful.

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 8

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 1:08:58 PM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

If it were true that having anal sex means you're a gay man, then I am screwed because it means that I'm a gay man, and my master is straight!! No, seriously, gay means having erotic attraction to the same gender as yourself. There's no such thing as "gay activities".

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 9

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 1:28:11 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dicipline2

Does anyone consider a male sub that is hetereosexual but allows a Mistress to perform anal on him to be gay?

I only ask because I was having a conversation with a femsub who told me that male subs that allow that are gay. She insisted that this was ok for female subs to allow, yet men should never allow this because it was "gay".

No, I don't consider hetero guys into anal stimuation gay any more than I do than the women who like anal stimulation.

Just tell her being gay is a state of mind - - hopefully, she'll get exactly what you mean.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 10

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 1:30:30 PM

Unrepentant1

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline

Tell her to loosen up and enjoy herself, who cares if your straight,bi, gay or whatever, as long as your happy! Besides, she might find she likes it and gay sex too! lol

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 11

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 1:34:44 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

My first thought is, why is this female submissive so adament about labeling others? Why on earth does she care?

None of My boys have been gay. If they were gay, what would they be doing with a female Domme in the first place?
What they submit to doesn't make them gay. It makes them submissive. If I really had to reach for a term (which I don't like doing) at most, it might be considered situationally bi. Personally, I'm not concerned with the need for others to box people into a label that satisfies their own needs. If someone has the tendancy to enjoy certain activities before they come to Me..... hey..... one less barrier they have. If they don't...... hey.... it's a hard limit of theirs that I will respect.

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

Post #: 12

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 1:42:55 PM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SunNMoon

It's a silly argument. That having anal sex equals being gay. It has nothing to do with a person’s sexual orientation. Since following that logic, women are then gay males because they have anal sex? (Just trying to show the silliness) See the silliness?

This really made my day!!!

dicipline, tell this girl to get herself onto this forum!
It really sounds like school playground stuff.

Oh and btw anal should not be painful. Uncomfortable yes but never painful

(in reply to SunNMoon)

Post #: 13

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 1:44:50 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Unrepentant1

Tell her to loosen up and enjoy herself, who cares if your straight,bi, gay or whatever, as long as your happy! Besides, she might find she likes it and gay sex too! lol

Exactly.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to Unrepentant1)

Post #: 14

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 1:45:02 PM

Unrepentant1

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline

Yes, but sometimes some pain is good too! lol

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 15

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 1:46:11 PM

LadyDraco2003

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/25/2007
Status: offline

That is showing the truth and sum people just dont want to know the truth.
Lady Draco

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 16

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 3:35:57 PM

stacydahling

Posts: 26
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

To me that would be roughly equivalent to calling a woman who enjoys receiving oral sex from a man gay.

It's really just a word anyway. I've always taken it to mean someone who has sex with someone of the same sex. Here's a couple of definitions that should clear this right up... Straight from Websters...

Main Entry: 1gay

Pronunciation: 'gA
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French gai, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German gAhi quick, sudden
1 a : happily excited : MERRY <in a gay mood> b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits <a bird's gay spring song>
2 a : BRIGHT, LIVELY <gay sunny meadows> b : brilliant in color
3 : given to social pleasures; also : LICENTIOUS
4 a : HOMOSEXUAL <gay men> b : of, relating to, or used by homosexuals <the gay rights movement> <a gay bar>

ho·mo·sex·u·al

Pronunciation: "hO-m&-'sek-sh(&-)w&l, -'sek-sh&l
Function: adjective
1 : of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex
2 : of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between persons of the same sex

(in reply to LadyDraco2003)

Post #: 17

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 3:45:24 PM

DianeB269

Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

No, you are not gay or bi, if you like F2m strapon and F2m fisting.

Diane

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 18

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 3:59:19 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

This really made my day!!!

dicipline, tell this girl to get herself onto this forum!
It really sounds like school playground stuff.

Oh and btw anal should not be painful. Uncomfortable yes but never painful

Yay!

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 19

RE: A question... - 4/26/2007 4:26:46 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

I was born a woman. I have breasts, vagina, ovaries, uterus and all the chemicals and hormones that accompany the female gender. So how exactly would my husband be gay no matter what I did with him as long as I didn't include a third person? *deep sigh* I find it odd that she is being so judgemental regarding a subject about which she doesn't have firsthand knowledge. It sounds to me like the opinion of someone who hasn't matured enough yet to realize that the world isn't black and white.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to dicipline2)

Post #: 20

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