Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

what is the best way to have a casual session come to a end?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> what is the best way to have a casual session come to a end? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
what is the best way to have a casual session come to a... - 4/27/2007 9:53:04 AM   
oceangem


Posts: 360
Joined: 2/9/2004
From: Mission, BC. Canada
Status: offline 		if it is discussed beforehand like a time limit who watches the clock?
if there is no time limit what is the best way to say its over?


_____________________________

she gives a smile when the pain comes... the pain is gonna make everything alright.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 9:55:39 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Generally the top should be keeping an eye on time, but setting an alarm is a fine idea.

If there's no time limit, then you let the scene go until it's over.  If you need it to stop for some reason (tired, gotta go to work, have a scene with someone else) then a) you need to let them know BEFORE the scene that you only have so much time and b) during the cool down, just do what you would do at the end of a dinner with someone.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 9:56:21 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I think the sub usually gets the hint when she hears me inviting someone else over and they will arrive in the next five minutes or so.  Or sometimes I use a little more of a direct and personal touch by informing them that it might be time for them to get their fat ass out the door.

_____________________________



(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 10:01:47 AM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		 
...slow it down, offer a hug and say thank you for a wonderful time.
 
<shrugs>  People gotta ask this stuff?
 
B

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 10:09:10 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Newbies think everything changes or is "special" when it involves bdsm...it takes them time to come around and realize it's all about the same.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MsBearlee)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 10:14:48 AM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		 

Yeah...and that was kinda bitchy of me.
 
Sorry

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 10:35:00 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I tend to discuss things like this openly.  I tell the other person how much time I have, or, if they're the one under time pressure, find out when they need to go.  Generally, I'm the one watching the clock because I'm just a little bit nutty, and its not something I'm able to let go of. :)

I don't do well without time limits so I can't address that question. 


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 10:36:11 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee
Yeah...and that was kinda bitchy of me.

Sorry

Hey we all think it sometimes.  And isn't being bitchy what being a fem dom is all about? *ducking*

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MsBearlee)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 11:24:25 AM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
[/quote]
Hey we all think it sometimes.  And isn't being bitchy what being a fem dom is all about? *ducking*
[/quote]
WOOT!

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 11:26:04 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Clock watching is a hard limit for me.

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 11:35:47 AM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		 

LMAO... yer great, LA!!!
 
Thanks, I needed that.
 
B

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 12:26:24 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think too many doms go about it this way, but this is certainly an idea.

'Honey, another hour's passed.  If you want to go any longer, you're going to have to pay extra.  You up for it?'

But aftercare's free.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 12:44:52 PM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		 


<<  ~ ~ ~ ~ ...thinks Jeff is incorrigible!
 
 
(and  worse than I am!)

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 1:44:36 PM   
Casie


Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline 		Setting a timer is fine or looking at the clock I guess. I don't know. I've never had a scene that was timed lhmm. If we plan on playing we usually do it when we have no other obligations. And if we are on a time restriction we just keep it simple.

(in reply to MsBearlee)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 1:54:53 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Ending a scene is always a slow down for me...timed or not...I never abruptly stop anything.  I touch and talk and smile and be a bit silly and sensual.  The toys go away and the hands and lips come out *more* they were out for the session I assure you....I always try to make sure my bottom feels he's had adequate after care.

D~

(in reply to Casie)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 1:58:54 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Ending a scene abruptly is always like derailing a train for me.  I appreciate it a LOT when the dom winds things down gently and eases out of the scene, rather than just turning around and putting his toys away.

< Message edited by windchymes -- 4/27/2007 1:59:24 PM >

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 2:10:49 PM   
PairOfDimes


Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		It's often good to have some idea of what you want to accomplish in a scene--this goes both for people leading and people following (i.e. dominants and submissives). Having goals doesn't mean that you have to want to do lots of emotional-growth stuff, but rather, that you have some central theme or mission for the scene. If you know what you want out of a scene, then you can likely get what you want out of a scene. Then, when you've accomplished that, whatever it is, you'll know that it's time to bring a scene to an end.

How do you structure a scene so that the end isn't a surprise? Think of structuring a novel or a play. You generally want a buildup, a climax (note: I did not write orgasm, I wrote climax), and a denouement--a cool down, for our purposes, or a tying of loose ends. You can end abruptly, immediately after the climax, perhaps, but you must recognize that that is an artistic choice, just as it is in writing.

It is good to be somewhat mindful of time when you play, even if you don't have a later appointment. Tops usually do the clock-watching, possibly because it's difficult for people to look at their wristwatches with hands tied behind their backs. :)

And yes, what I've written above is much like structuring any number of other things--a game, a dinner, a lecture.

Monica

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: what is the best way to have a casual session come ... - 4/27/2007 2:29:49 PM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		In my beginning of play from the "topside" I too worried about this, because I wanted it to be good for the bottom so they'd want to come back!  Somehow my "inner clock" seems to have this little alarm at about an hour, so when it "goes off" I usually realize that I am also getting tired.  Maybe it's  really vise-versa?  But that menas I start to just slow down and beging to add lots of little bare hand touches and sort of mini massages and maybe some softer talking.  Perhaps  a few sensual toys fora  few miutes.  It sort of just seguays very slowly into aftercare - no toys,  but little massages, soft caresses, hugs, maybe just holding them if it feels right.  Finally softly telling him to kneel down for me and I remove the "playtime collar", more hugs. Ad I always tll them Thank you.  Might seem to some not very D-like, but I appreciate someones trust in a casual scene and I do not feel any less D or Top when I hug them and say thank you.

_____________________________

He held out His hand and said "Step into the abyss with me."

... and i did.


~Surrender without Fear~
~Power without Guilt~
~Love without Doubt~

(in reply to PairOfDimes)
Profile   Post #: 18
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> what is the best way to have a casual session come to a end? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078