RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance?

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/28/2007 10:58:15 AM

minnetar

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i think toys add a great deal to play. i love when a Dom uses them on me.

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/28/2007 11:03:06 AM

Stranger1

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Fast reply. I'm a supreme toymaker-leather, metal, whatever. Used to sell stuff locally in the scene. Lots of it still in play, years after the fact. Toys add to fun-but god help you if you have to do without ,and cannot.

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/28/2007 11:42:34 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
Why do people hold on to this notion that BDSM doesn't have anything to do with BDSM? I miss kinky people *cry*

LOL Good one, I'm right there with ya.

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/28/2007 12:02:43 PM

Suleiman

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

Sometimes I feel like I took a wrong turn and ended up in bandcamp.

Apparantly I went to a different band camp than you. It's been my observation that Nerds of any stripe tend to be incredibly kinky people once you scratch the surface.

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/28/2007 7:42:12 PM

Celeste43

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We're into bondage. Physical bondage. I don't think he could tie me up without rope or scarves or whatever. But no, I don't find it undomly, I like being tied up.

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/28/2007 8:03:24 PM

crouchingtigress

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when i hear folks using a word like "unmanly", i think to myself that they are making blanket generalizations to fit their picture of the world.

and then i ask myself why would some one need to do that? how does it serve them?

often times the answer is that they feel safer in an us and them mentality, which limits them to what ever side they have chosen to ally themselves with.

with one simple thought, she has now limited herself to never having the 1000's of unique buzzing and whirling sensations with her lover that she might enjoy.

i think we all think thoughts like this. and i think we do it because there is an illusion of controlling the world around us when we judge other folks.

but all she has really done is made her world smaller and more boring.

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/28/2007 8:26:15 PM

Missokyst

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Umm... does this mean that to be authentic, we need to get back into missionary style sex, lest someone might find us less than good at what we do because we like other positions?
Toys are just implements. Rope, cuffs, floggers, whips.. are really just another way of adding spice to you life, much like changing positions.
Kyst

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/29/2007 2:28:06 AM

ExSteelAgain

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Damn, I’m still worried about Noah being upset with the interlocutor using the conversational gambit. LOL. I call these type questions, Dear Abby ones. They are the kind that Dear Abby staff writers would come up with to provoke conversation and get readers agitated.

CD, I didn’t have any toys for a long time. At times I would use what the sub happened to have, but I didn’t take a toy bag along with me when I came knocking. My first toy bag was a black plastic garbage bag that made the sub wonder if I was going to cut her up and put her in it or something I suppose. I think I had a piece of rope, spreader bar and a gag.

I got rid of it when I was going up steps at a motel and the things fell out of a rip in the plastic. So then I went to Wal-mart (none of my liberal friends saw me going in the store, thank goodness) and bought this black bag that I have owned ever since. I began to buy floggers and stock it with items until it now contains entirely too many things I never use.

Of course it is a status thing for Doms at clubs to have the biggest toy bag. I mean some of them are framed backpack type deals packed so tightly that it looks like the Dom is going to live in the Himalayas for a month. I can see where a new sub would be wondering wtf if the backpacking Nepalese porter, mountain climber showed up at her door.

Maybe the first domination should be over wine swirling in glasses as you look out over the water with candlelight flickering, glowing embers cracking in a fireplace and all that dreamy vanilla, guy/girl junk.

< Message edited by ExSteelAgain -- 4/29/2007 2:39:23 AM >

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/29/2007 2:40:40 AM

MagiksSlave

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What I think the person who said this fails to understand is that Master and I dont NEED the toys he doesnt need them to controll me and I dont need them to be controlled.. we dont NEED them we WANT and we LIKE them and that is all that matters. What it seems your friend is really saying is the way she does things is the right way and anyone who doesnt agree or do things that way is wrong or as she said it unmanly, however you say it it boils down to her thinking how her and her Master do things is better then anyone els.

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< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 4/29/2007 2:42:49 AM >

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/29/2007 5:04:10 AM

windchymes

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Once again, they're entitled to their opinion. We don't have to agree with it.

Personally, I love toys. And I love a dominant who WANTS to play with them for our mutual enjoyment. I never considered playing with toys a "need", and I've never known a dom who "needed" them. I'd be really disappointed if he didn't WANT to play with them, along with all the other possible activities.

Why is BDSM "always" about control?

P.S. I didn't read magiksSlave's post above me until after I posted mine....sorry, didn't mean to sound like I was copying you! :)

< Message edited by windchymes -- 4/29/2007 5:05:33 AM >

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RE: Unmanly? Needed for dominance? - 4/29/2007 5:16:20 AM

DiurnalVampire

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Really fast response:

Toys are just that, amusements for fun. They can add to the scene, or if misused tey can detract from it. I have never in all my years met a Dom who could NOT control someone without toys. CAusing pain without them is slightly more difficult, but still doable. The decision to use them is not unmanly or undomly, in those females cases. It is simply a decision. If you are a sub, wouldnt that decision by your Dominant be like any other. You wouldnt bring into question his manliness if he asked you to clean his car or change his oil... which are "manly" chores. So why do so for enjoying using props in play rther than constantly doing all the work flesh on flesh?

*shrug*
DV

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