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Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 7:03:33 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

I noticed a bit of difference between interacting with non-slave submissive types and slave submissives, at least on this website. I find that most non-slave submissives enjoy being asked questions and enjoy asking questions. You know talking about anything and everything. When dealing with the slave submissive types, I find the conversation more like trying to pull teeth, getting them to open up. At times, I question if they are simply too jaded, conditioned or fearful of having this level of communication. Do slave types want to jump straight to all the sex and BDSM talk or what gives here? I'm not the type that insist upon all the high protocal stuff like being called Sir and whatnot. At times I find myself asking questions and recieve vaugue answers. Most of time the slave types do not ask very many questions. I assumed in part because of them feeling the need for permission to ask, so I literally ask if there's anything they would like to ask me. I also express for them to ask me anything at any time. Are slave types somewhat in fear in showing their true selves or what?

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 4/28/2007 7:10:56 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 7:11:33 AM

NControlofU

Posts: 204
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

My slave, slavegirljoy on this site, has my permission to communicate with anyone who writes to her, as long as they are respectful of her and of my property rights over her. She gets a lot of messages from dominants and other submissives and slaves. She is very open and honest with her responses and answers questions freely and doesn't hold anything back. Anyone can ask her anything and she answers them. She has received a lot of different questions. But, in my writing to other submissives and slaves on this site, I have also found that many of them don't communicate as openly as my slave does.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 2

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 7:19:54 AM

CypherEnigma

Posts: 62
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline

I believe some are waiting for direction. They will quietly wait till someone takes control. I myself just go ahead and ask what i want to know. I have become braver over the years, and find myself wanting to get to the point. But i know of some that do not. Some are too shy to ask for what they want to know, or too shy to say what they think.

(in reply to NControlofU)

Post #: 3

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 7:53:21 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I am allowed to talk freely and do. I don't wait for anyone to let me talk. I have no restrictions on speech. Though there are those I just don't find interesteing to talk to and don't. I don't think it is all slaves. That would be generalizing and we all know what happens when you do that. This lifestyle is alot more than sex to me, shame some can't see that though no matter who they are. Dom, sub, slave etc.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 4

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 8:13:07 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I am allowed to talk freely and do. I don't wait for anyone to let me talk. I have no restrictions on speech. Though there are those I just don't find interesteing to talk to and don't. I don't think it is all slaves. That would be generalizing and we all know what happens when you do that. This lifestyle is alot more than sex to me, shame some can't see that though no matter who they are. Dom, sub, slave etc.

I tend to avoid generalizations using words such as "All", "Always".. I just noticed an unexplained general pattern or trend. So I thought I'd make a post here and see what insights you guys have.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 5

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 8:23:06 AM

Asraii

Posts: 91
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

I noticed a bit of difference between interacting with non-slave submissive types and slave submissives, at least on this website. I find that most non-slave submissives enjoy being asked questions and enjoy asking questions. You know talking about anything and everything. When dealing with the slave submissive types, I find the conversation more like trying to pull teeth, getting them to open up. At times, I question if they are simply too jaded, conditioned or fearful of having this level of communication. Do slave types want to jump straight to all the sex and BDSM talk or what gives here? I'm not the type that insist upon all the high protocal stuff like being called Sir and whatnot. At times I find myself asking questions and recieve vaugue answers. Most of time the slave types do not ask very many questions. I assumed in part because of them feeling the need for permission to ask, so I literally ask if there's anything they would like to ask me. I also express for them to ask me anything at any time. Are slave types somewhat in fear in showing their true selves or what?

I was not aware that there was a huge difference in the defining characteristics of slave submissives and slave slaves

As for the rest, I would have to question how you are coming to the conclusion that a certain type only wants to discuss certain things. This has me truly curious.

Perhaps it is not them not wanting to talk to you because of their orientation. Perhaps instead, you are approaching THEM differently, and forcing them to act in a certain way with you?

_____________________________

Nothing prevents happiness like the memory of happiness
Andre Gide

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 6

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 8:28:59 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i'm a very curious submissive and the only way i'm going to find about anyone and/or anything is to ask as many questions as possible. i like questioning the hows and whys of certain things ...pushing the limits of a person's range of thinking with my opinions and then bantering the logic in the end.

plus i'm also a chat-aholic and Daddy knows i love meeting new people to chat with. He encourages that i cruise this forum as a psychological study to see how others live, act and think. we do discusss what's the hot topic on the forums and how i responded.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 7

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 8:30:48 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings whiplashsmile,

i am a slave, and i am a pretty open book.

annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 8

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 8:33:34 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

greetings whiplashsmile,

i am a slave, and i am a pretty open book.

annabelle.

You're also a message board junkie like the rest of us... I would consider you very open and love talking...

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 9

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 8:37:49 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i'm a very curious submissive and the only way i'm going to find about anyone and/or anything is to ask as many questions as possible. i like questioning the hows and whys of certain things ...pushing the limits of a person's range of thinking with my opinions and then bantering the logic in the end.

plus i'm also a chat-aholic and Daddy knows i love meeting new people to chat with. He encourages that i cruise this forum as a psychological study to see how others live, act and think. we do discusss what's the hot topic on the forums and how i responded.

Ok OK.. I give... let me rephrase this question.. Seems like this is more of an issue with those that don't use the message boards. Any thoughts? Just any ideas... I think I'm going to start asking these one questions about not asking questions or giving detailed responses.. See if I can get to the bottom of this myself.. LOL. Perhaps it's my imagination or something...

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 8:45:01 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

quote:

Seems like this is more of an issue with those that don't use the message boards.

So, it doesn't have anything to do with the sub-slave thing? But a difference between people who use the message board and people who don't? Probably because people who post on the boards are already thinking in terms of putting their thoughts into words. I'm pretty forthcoming in writing, but get tounge tied face to face or on the phone and can clam up.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 11

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 9:05:52 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

quote:

Seems like this is more of an issue with those that don't use the message boards.

So, it doesn't have anything to do with the sub-slave thing? But a difference between people who use the message board and people who don't? Probably because people who post on the boards are already thinking in terms of putting their thoughts into words. I'm pretty forthcoming in writing, but get tounge tied face to face or on the phone and can clam up.

It appears to be an sub-slave thing in those people that don't use the message boards. Most people that post a lot on here don't have a problem asking or answering questions. I swear to God, I don't think I'm crazy. At least yet! I probally should have made this post on Ask a Master or General BDSM to see if any other Doms have noticed this. Does not apply to all slaves, however in these profile types it just appears to be more common, at least in my own perception. For the ones that have Female Slave selected instead of Female Submissives. Perhaps, I've finally lost my mind... Somebody want to hit me with a TENS UNIT... wire me up and Zap me!

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 4/28/2007 9:07:59 AM >

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 12

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 9:37:35 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

well i will reveal that there is a drastic difference between my communication on a message board or in a general chat room, and one-on-one communication face to face or even via an email exchange, particularly with a Dominant. my Master gives me the privilege to express myself openly and freely here, for the most part, because that is not something that would be appropriate in other areas of my life.

when interacting face to face with some Dominants, a few have gotten frustrated or just plain bewildered at my silence, difficulty in asking or answering questions, etc. that's not because i don't wish to reveal my true self, it's just that back-and-forth (as my Master calls it) communication is not necessarily appropriate betwteen a Dominant and myself and feels uncomfortable. i respond better to those who ask specific questions, and don't say vague things like "ask me anything you wish," or "you may speak freely."

but just a side question, are you speaking to those who are owned? it may also be that they are not allowed to communicate openly and freely with other Dominants if that is the case.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 13

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 9:41:34 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

maybe those who don't use the boards to learn and seek answers are perhaps being trained by their Dom/Master/whatever ...or perhaps they feel they don't have anything worthy to contribute to the boards with their opinions - so they sit back and lurk around. there could be any number of reasons why they don't use the message boards. Daddy doesn't restrict my usage and/or responses here - i'm free to roam and respond as i see fit.

sorry about the detail response - i don't skimp on my thoughts with one-liner replies.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 14

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 9:51:06 AM

MistressNoName

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

It's been my experience, that some "slave" types (at least, the males) sometimes withhold (not sure if that's the best word) conversation out of some perceived notion of offering "respect." Others simply don't know how to behave...others still are just not good conversationalists.

Still, I met a slave once (owned femslave) who talked about how her Master has instructed her to clearly think about what is being asked or talked about and to make a good decision as to whether or not she should offer a response. A type of speech restriction, but not quite. The "rule" is meant to teach her discernment.

Other slaves are highly protective of their information and/or are seeking a certain type of individual and may not think it worth their while to carry on much conversation with someone they may have doubts about...there are just so many possibilities. I always find it useful, when it happens, to just address it...if it's important enough an issue.

MNN

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 15

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 10:34:38 AM

lapresence

Posts: 94
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

i respond better to those who ask specific questions, and don't say vague things like "ask me anything you wish," or "you may speak freely."

I am exactly the same way. And at first, I don't usually have many questions, I'm just getting to know the person. But once I'm comfortable, the amount of questions rise exponentially.

I'm sure Sir heaves a sigh every time he reads either in IM or in an e-mail: "I have more questions, Sir." LOL. But he answers most of them, so long as I've asked in a respectful manner. I now wonder when my questions will stop.

And it may be confidence, but I will ask more questions of everyone now. I do want to note that I actually hate being asked if I have any questions because I will sit there wrecking my brain for questions I should ask, or that someone would want to have me ask. LOL. Maybe too many job interviews? And it's inevitable, as soon as I'm no longer communicating with the person, I'll come up with three.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 16

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 10:36:22 AM

MiladyElaine

Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

I think female subs and slaves talk more than male slaves.
Male subs are more open, I think, because they are more open with their relationships they seek.
Whatever relationship a male slave seeks will become irrelevant when or if he submits. Sure, he can state what type he is looking for and I state what type I am looking for and if they don't mesh, it's good bye, see ya later.

_____________________________

A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

(in reply to MistressNoName)

Post #: 17

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 10:42:42 AM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

To the OP..it could be mindset, previous training, their personal ideas on how they think they should behave, could be personality trait ie: shyness,could also be the particular slaves that you have chosen to interact with...helpful ,wasnt I!..~wink~..Tempting

(in reply to MiladyElaine)

Post #: 18

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 10:51:09 AM

Stranger1

Posts: 219
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

I have found that slaves desire a structured lifestyle. It's hit and miss-you describe what you have to offer-and they ponder if it's a good fit.

Some call it passive aggressive-but I don't-I call it smart. They will give you lots of opportunities for you to hang yourself-prove yourself-and show what you are.

When they finally get excited-you will have a hard time shutting many of them up-just be real, and be patient.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 19

RE: Asking Questions of a slave vs. submissive - 4/28/2007 11:02:13 AM

tricia

Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

As you will see, WhiplashSmile, although i have been a member here for years - i've only posted 60 or so times. While i do consider myself a slave within my relationship - I don't follow any rules or protocol when speaking or chatting with anyone other than the man i serve. Any subject i simply can't pass by - i have no problem commenting on or speaking my mind.

i will give you the reason i don't post on many topics although i may have strong opinions on them. I don't relate well to some 'forms' of domination and submission. I know in advance my response or answers will have many people assuming i see myself more submissive or what have you. I do not. But rather than sugarcoat an opinion or worry about sounding politically correct or derailing an entire thread defending my position- i decide it's not worth the battle and pass it by.

Now, I can only speak for myself, of course - but there you have it.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 20

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