RE: fao men who like to be abused/humiliated.

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RE: fao men who like to be abused/humiliated. - 4/30/2007 12:30:37 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
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Well I'm not male but I am submissive and masochistic and love being exactly who and what I am, I adore and worship my Master and am trully complate with my place in His life, I was not abused, tormented as a child, I have never been raped - in fact my childhood was very happy, I grew up with a mother and father who were together from the age of 14 until her death at 54 and my father has not remarried as of yet, I had a sound sense of morals instilled in me and am considered to be smart, articulate and well rounded and indeed in some cases responsible *mock shudder* Also - why is your question only aimed at men? Why so gender specific, sorry to sound harsh here but sounds to me rather like you want to get your rocks off on other peoples bad experiences...

(in reply to bludemonn)

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RE: fao men who like to be abused/humiliated. - 4/30/2007 12:58:38 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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Hello UK...

There is no offence taken - just sharing another thought with you is all. I am not male, but I cannot say I know any male s-types who were abused, although I do know at least two female submissive who suffered some sort of abuse, but not childhood.

From a personal perspective - there was never any abuse in childhood and I come from a 'stable' household. So - why am I submissive? Because I choose to be to one particular man. Does that assist you?

Peace

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.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to ukmale24)

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RE: fao men who like to be abused/humiliated. - 4/30/2007 1:05:31 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ukmale24

Hi,

I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

However, I do strongly believe people are made this way through experience. I accept the point about gay people but I do not belive it to be the same as noone enjoys being abused at birth it is just how you are made by parents etc, a lot of sex offenders recreate the experience they had done to them, unfortunaltely that is how the human emotional body works.

Again sorry if i offended anybody.

Ok buddy - what made me submissive? My parents were both loving. Nobody sexually abused me until I hit college and already IDed as a sub. In fact, my parents were so unabusive, that they encouraged me to be whatever I want and emphasized how I don't need a man or anyone else to support me.

Basically, you have no idea what you are talking about. Come to events. Meet lifestyle people. Read SM 101, When Someone You Love is Kinky and other respect BDSM books. The percentage of people with fucked up histories in BDSM is the same as people with fucked up histories in your world.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/30/2007 1:06:47 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: fao men who like to be abused/humiliated. - 4/30/2007 2:01:50 PM

Casie

Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

First of all it isn't abuse, if someone enjoys something you are not abusing them. No, people aren't this way because of their childhood or bad experinces. There are as many people in our little world that have been abused as there is in yours. I had a fairly good childhood. Normal things like parents divorcing ext. But I had the most wonderful father in the world. He did all the stuff good fathers do, teach you to play baseball, ride a bike, take you fishing, he played board games with me and read me bed time stories, he was the type of dad that would come running to your aid after a nightmare or make you soup when you were sick.When my parents divorced my little brother and sister stayed with him. I have a very healthy close relationship with him.So, my submission does not come from poor feelings and experinces with my father.When I was a little girl all my friends wanted to play princess and queens, I wanted to play maid, slave, and gesture.For as long as I can remeber I was most joyous when I was making some one else happy, or making someone proud. Don't generlize people in this lifestyle. Read some books. SM 101, Screw the roses send me thorns, Erotic surrender; The sensual joys of female submission, the loving dominat, and perhaps visit the website castlerealm.com I know you think you have this great thoery or as you said a little more than a theory but don't put all your eggs in one basket, You are painting this with a pretty broad paint brush.

(in reply to ukmale24)

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RE: fao men who like to be abused/humiliated. - 4/30/2007 7:50:34 PM

MistressNoName

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bludemonn

by the way do NOT feel you have to back up any ideas you may have, the idea of a free thinking forum is so we can all put our minds to it not become some kind of court room where evidence must be brought up, that is ridiculous and even then its still not concrete. Ideas are good, discussion is good, do not apologise for a question!

Sorry, blu...but the problem is that he didn't actually ask a question...he made a statement about why he believes kinky people do what they do and without any information to back up that belief. That's what the vanillas do to us all the time. That's why so many mainstreamers think we are all mentally ill and potentially dangerous. Nothing wrong with asking a question...it's making assumptions that gets one into trouble. And why shouldn't we or anyone hold him or anyone else to the standard of presenting a good case rather than making assumptions and generalizations? That's just good critical thinking. And shouldn't we be encouraging each other to do just that?

MNN

(in reply to bludemonn)

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RE: fao men who like to be abused/humiliated. - 4/30/2007 10:22:57 PM

Casie

Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName

quote:

ORIGINAL: bludemonn

by the way do NOT feel you have to back up any ideas you may have, the idea of a free thinking forum is so we can all put our minds to it not become some kind of court room where evidence must be brought up, that is ridiculous and even then its still not concrete. Ideas are good, discussion is good, do not apologise for a question!

Sorry, blu...but the problem is that he didn't actually ask a question...he made a statement about why he believes kinky people do what they do and without any information to back up that belief. That's what the vanillas do to us all the time. That's why so many mainstreamers think we are all mentally ill and potentially dangerous. Nothing wrong with asking a question...it's making assumptions that gets one into trouble. And why shouldn't we or anyone hold him or anyone else to the standard of presenting a good case rather than making assumptions and generalizations? That's just good critical thinking. And shouldn't we be encouraging each other to do just that?

MNN

I agree coming to us with lifestylers with true curiosity and questions is one thing. Coming here and and making the assumption we are "abusive" and this way because of our parents is a whole other issue. I don't want to feed into stero types that vanillas have pinned on us. That will just further them, and cause more distaste for this culture.

(in reply to MistressNoName)

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RE: fao men who like to be abused/humiliated. - 5/1/2007 3:06:32 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

fao - for attention of. I assume.

E

Thanks Ellen.

How simplistic go assume that every male bottom is like that because they had poor parenting. Equally simplistic would be the parallel assumption, that every female bottom is like that because of lack of a male role model during the formative years.

Yes people have brought up this theory innumerable times before and it has always been defeated the first time someone says they come from a great family of origin, still have strong bonds with healthy boundaries, yet they still enjoy strong sensation play.

Which btw is also one hell of an assumption on the op's part, that strong sensation equals abuse.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

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RE: fao men who like to be abused/humiliated. - 5/1/2007 4:26:17 AM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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~Fast Reply~

I've got a question for the OP: If you think abuse makes a person submissive, what makes a person dominant?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: fao men who like to be abused/humiliated. - 5/1/2007 4:55:04 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Just the fao thing has me kind of nuts.

Seems to me that the kinksters in the Federal Accounting Office are a rather narrow band of jolly gentlemen.

Amazedly,
Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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