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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:29:03 PM

MistressDoMe

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well I am walking away from the never end fat threads on this site, I am sure this one will go
another 30 pages.
I hope everyone has a great day.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:29:08 PM

GeekyGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

Fat women turn down fat men all of the time. There is a HUGE (pun intended) double standard that way.

and vice versa

speaking from experience - haven't turned down a fat man

Me neither! I want some meat on their bones!

Now I know I'm a bigger girl, and I respect that some men don't find that attractive. It doesn't offend me that they pass me by. However, there is no need to send nasty messages and insults about it..just say "you're not my type" and move on.

I don't hide mine or "obfuscate" it. I don't want to bother wasting my time on someone who isn't going to find me attractive.

What I have a problem with is someone who messages me, acts interested, then when I tell them I'm almost 200lbs, they freak out. Um, dude, I have FIFTEEN pics on my profile. Did you not LOOK at them? My weight hasn't fluctuated more than 10lbs in 5yrs and all those pics are current to within the last year.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:29:12 PM

Kitte9

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For me, I don't care too much what a woman weighs, as long as she is proportionate. A swizzle stick is not proportionate, a woman who is skinny on top and heavy at the bottom is not, a woman who is 250 top to bottom is a beautiful person to me, as long as she is not dense. I love intelligence, it is sexy to me.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:30:16 PM

lippyangelicsub

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hi FatDomDaddy
I for one never hide my size, am proud to be me took too bloody long to get like this, have been a size 10 and i am definately happier now, just wish some people realised weight has nothing to do with conversation, if i was simply chatting to someone whom seemed nice i wouldn't give a fig about his or her looks, the one thing i have always loved about the internet is that you can chat to people from anywhere and everywhere, different races, lifestyles,religions, countries, majority of the time never meeting them or even contemplate meeting them, and the beauty of it is it really doesnt matter what someone else looks like because its talk. To me its like saying i will only talk to drop dead gorgeous men, anyone falling short of that woops i cannot speak to you...........it would be daft as hell! Sorry for ranting......need to slap my head and be quiet lol

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:32:07 PM

AquaticSub

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People turn people down all the time for all sorts of reasons. I agree with you that it's silly to turn a woman down just because of her weight. But at the same time, I've turned men down for being too delicate looking so I really don't have ground to stand on for that issue. I wouldn't want to be turned down just because of my weight and also, I wouldn't want a male who only wanted me because of my extra padding.

Just remember that when they turn you down, they are saving you some trouble. You get to move onto the next one and get closer to the person who will love for you for who you are, be it boney, curvy, redheaded, blonde, blue-eyes, 12-toed, footless, Republican, Athestist, Christian or whatever!

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:35:16 PM

Vampyress33

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Satyr6406

Speaking as a man who prefers ladies with some meat on their bones, I have to say that I agree with a couple of things, stated here.

However, we canNOT forget that there is thing thing called "preference". People cannot change whom they find attractive. That, also, is not their fault. As one lady mentioned, though, when they come with the horrible insults, that's where the problems arise.

Also, though, there are far too many ladies that think that just because they're fat, that makes them a "BBW". That can be quite a misnomer. Delta Burke was a Big, Beautiful, Woman. Patti LaBelle is a Big, Beautiful, Woman. Anna Nicole Smith was a Big Beautiful Woman. A lady who's 5' 4" and weighs 475 lbs. is not beautiful (usually).

Someone also brought up the laziness factor. That does play into it. I tend to look at the potential a submissive has. I also believe that she should be preparing herself for "the One", until he comes along. If a lady is more than a BBW and it's because she just can't be bothered to do anything about it, that's different than a lady that truly can't do anything about it. Then, the situation isn't so much about the weight but, the character flaw of the apathy being displayed.

Anyway, getting back to the actual issue: I am much more likely to want to "fatten up" a submissive who, in my view is to skinny than to look at a beautiful lady who happens to be carrying a few extra pounds and wish she would lose it.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

I couldn't agree more. I've lost 50lbs this past year. Mainly by changing how I ate. I still have a way to go... and i'm slowly just now incorprating exercise into that plan, due to health issues, i don't need any more back problems.. I have enough of em.. I'm loosing weight for me, because due to my health issues.. and if I don't.. I just may end up in a wheelchair in 4 years. Has it been tough? You betcha.. but I couldn't be more happier with how I look now, then when I started. I let everyone see my picture up front. If they don't want to talk to me, they don't have to.. but at least i'm not hiding anything.

I've always had an attitude that it was their loss.. not mine. :)

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:37:24 PM

Ailura

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Why is it so wrong for people to say they prefer slim women or men? Surely it's equally as discriminating to them as it is to fat people. Why should the fatties get all the understanding? I have turned down men on the grounds of them being overweight, just as I'm sure I don't appeal to the men who like their women big. It doesn't worry me, so why should it you? I am entitled to my choice.

There are those who can't lose weight for one reason or another, but as many that claim that, who just can't be bothered to try. The first group have my understanding, the second (and usually the more vocal) deserve no sympathy.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:37:31 PM

GeekyGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I have to admit I am insulted by men who even have a preference for skinny women because of the fact that some of us can't do anything about it. If there weren't medical conditions that caused women to be overweight, I could understand. If stretched skin went away with rigorous diet and exercise, I could understand. Look at all the partially bald men out there who want skinny women. They are the lucky ones. If baldness bothers them, all they have to do is go to a hair restoration clinic like Bosley's. Any scars left by the surgery will be covered by their hair. They can still look good nude. Women can't.

I completely understand what you're saying, but try not to let it offend you. Letting other people offend you is a huge waste of effort. Some guys don't like us big girls. Oh well, there loss! Some guys don't like blondes or girls with green eyes or girls with a certain bra size. It may seem shallow *to me* but I'm not going to get bent out of shape over it.

ME PERSONALLY, I have found people of all sizes attractive so it doesn't make any sense to NOT find a heavy person attractive due to their heaviness. I usually don't even ask to see a picture of a person until I have gotten to know them a bit better and decided I like them (as opposed to men who often won't even email you if you don't have a pic up.)As long as a man is basically human looking, size, height, weight, eye color, hair color, hair loss,etc just simply don't mean anything to me. I've never refused a date because "he's just too unattractive.". I figure one day he's going to be a wrinkled up ugly ole man regardless of what he looks like now!

Like I mentioned on the other thread, my ex is 300lbs and I think he is SOOOO sexy and gorgeous. But then my definition of attractive has a lot to do with facial bone structure, eyes, smile, etc.

I've seen both thin and heavy people I have found unattractive because they had unpleasant looking faces. It's just a matter of whether or not I feel a "spark" of desire when I see them...and weight has never kept me from feeling that spark. I have never been in bed with a fat man and looked at him and felt disgusted or repulsed. It just doesn't happen that way for me.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:38:26 PM

defiantbadgirl

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Good to know so many agree with me. Also, depression can be a factor in being overweight. When I found out my body was ruined forever, I quit caring. I've gained alot of weight since then too. I figure why should I put out the effort when I will never look good again anyway. Either stretched skin or any ugly scar will be with me for the rest of my life, so what's the point?

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 4/29/2007 1:41:11 PM >

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:41:45 PM

Trampler

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Wanted to clarify on what I said. The overweight guy that I turned down, I had gone out with him twice before, and both times, he ate so much food, that it made me sick to watch. I am not saying that I would turn down any overweight person, just those who seem to have poor eating/exercise habits, I often find that alot of people who are that lazy, are those who also have poor attitudes. Don't really have the time or energy for that type of person.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:42:37 PM

acquiesce93

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I don't feel that not being attracted to someone because of their weight is cold and heartless *at all*. I'm 5'4", 187 lbs and very secure and quite attractive at my weight. I know for a fact that I'm not attracted to inactive people, but active people come in all sizes. Active by FAR is not a code word for skinny. I work out for an hour a day and enjoy playing sports and dancing regularly, so that's part of my lifestyle, and also something that at least partially I enjoy relating to with others. Though I mainly date men, when it comes to women, I prefer mine on the thick side.

I may just be reading into your post wrong, but it just sounds a little too much like you're diving into feeling-sorry-for-yourself mode and not empowering what you DO have. There is no one perfect type for men out there. Period. At ANY weight. So rather than being vindictive towards people that don't prefer your type, be truthful about your OWN brand of beauty, and project THAT. There will always be internet trolls that think that internet dating sites are just brimming with 20-year-old supermodels and lash out when they discover otherwise. Ignore them anyways. heh.

I was looking at your profile to see whether you were sub or domme, and I noticed that you mentioned that your ideal dom would "have all of his hair and teeth". Using your logic, that is cruel and heartless. After all having all your hair and teeth are less in your own control than your weight is. I'm just sayin'... *shrug*

There's nothing wrong with having a type, so long as that person doesn't assume something about your personality based on your weight.

I know I come off as harsh on this issue, but seriously, I'm tired of fat women regressing into victimization mode over this. I've only been on the boards for a while, but I see this mindset a lot. Rather than having confidence in their own beauty and what they have to offer, taking care of their physical person to the most desired of their abilities, and projecting self-worth. I'm a hot fattie. I love my size and the power that it affords me. Shitloads of men find that irresistable. Lots don't. I don't consider that the ones that aren't are superficial. Their reasons range from superficial to extremely complex. Lots of people don't even HAVE types.

Also why do we as fat women tend to think that we're being rejected based solely on being fat? Could be personality factors, fashion sense, hair, some other cues they liked or didn't liked. There are sooo many factors that make us individuals. One factor could make us completely irresistable to one person, while the same factor could turn another person off. Which one are you gonna let get to ya? ;>

< Message edited by acquiesce93 -- 4/29/2007 1:45:13 PM >

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:44:58 PM

tulipgoose

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy

Fat women turn down fat men all of the time. There is a HUGE (pun intended) double standard that way.

Oddly enough, I have only been with two men ever who weighed less than myself! In some ways I have always been drawn to heavier and bigger (taller, bigger boned, and chubbier, etc) men. However, I have met a wonderful man now who is about 100lbs less than I am, and I do find it odd, but am with him because I love him, and he is a wonderful person, and I'd be an idiot to let the standard go the opposite way of what you are speaking of. The only thing looks prove is a possible (and the eventual) combination of any random bits of two people's DNA... We'll all be 6 feet under rotting away someday anyway...... We should do what we can to keep ourselves from that point as long as possible, but each person can only do so much, and heaviness isn't always bad for everyone! We may have heightened risks: Just like a person living on a busy street is more likely to have a car drive into the front of their house - it's still not all THAT common...

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:45:25 PM

Trampler

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Well alot of people get offended, because society puts so much pressure on women to attain the perfect size, and when women, for various reasons, can't (and don't want to.)attain that size, it can be very frustrating. No we shouldn't let it bother us, but easier said then done.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:46:42 PM

MissMorrigan

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I think there are two points which need addressing in your post, DBG. Firstly, the overweight issue and secondly, one of seeming 'disfigurement' and how those in society lack acceptance for those who are affected.

The overweight issue: We are attracted to what we are. As a large lady myself I respect anyone's right to opt for a domme that's a lot slimmer, as some have done previously due to my size, although many have loved the fact I've been a larger lady. I have never been offended by this and can understand why some people would not find overweight people personally attractive. We're as individual as our preferences and to put it bluntly, being overweight is not healthy, which is also offputting for some. I not only stand by my words, I eat them) Joking aside though, I am on a strict diet/exercise regime to drop some weight to an acceptible level - acceptible by me, not by others. Obesity is a condition people CAN do something about and should, if only for health reasons.

Society is obsessed with the image of what is considered to be the perfect female/male. The fashion industry is largely to blame, but also, so are the general public due to the fact that society still tends to hide away those who are disabled/disfigured. This I find unacceptible and will only alter through education. When I was a child, children who had disabilities/considerable disfigurements were sent to 'special' schools. The only way for society to fully accept people's individual needs is for local governments to ensure the correct facilities are readily available in schools, workplaces, train stations, malls, etc... to aid with full integration in order ensure equal opportunities are available to all. Hopefully, in time, we will see a lessening of prejudices as a result.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:46:49 PM

AquaticSub

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Added because I missed it in your post: Being insulted by people have a preference for slim women doesn't make sense to me. Some men have a preference for large women. Should slim women be insulted by that? Not trying to pick a fight with you, just think about it. Everyone has a preference after all.

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It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:47:30 PM

LadyMorghanna

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Defiant girl, you should go see a plastic surgeon. They should be able to remove the excess skin and do a tummy tuck and make a scar that is very fine which will fade in time. Just be sure to make sure that the doctor knows that this is THE MAJOR concern of yours. Tell him that you don't want intern or first year residents working on you. You want someone who knows how to stictch an incision as if the scar was going to be on your face. You really don't have to live with the loose skin if you are in a financial situation where you can afford the surgery.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:51:38 PM

AquaticSub

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Plastic surgery is still surgery. It amazes me how lightly people treat it.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:51:42 PM

roughleather

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The "It's OK to be fat" crap is so over. Now we have all these "wide loads" running around, acting like they have a right to attention. "Fat tolerance" was a terrible mistake.

It's turning around in SF, now that the hip-hop baggy clothing thing is over. Skinny pants are in, and fat chicks are out.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:52:22 PM

defiantbadgirl

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One of my play partners is bald. He has a great personality and I enjoy spending time with him. Just because I find men with hair more attractive doesn't mean I don't look beyond that. I just wish women could have surgery and still look good without clothes the way men can who have hair restoration. As for teeth, I didn't say they had to be real.

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RE: rant over "fat women" - 4/29/2007 1:54:21 PM

GeekyGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

The "It's OK to be fat" crap is so over. Now we have all these "wide loads" running around, acting like they have a right to attention. "Fat tolerance" was a terrible mistake.

It's turning around in SF, now that the hip-hop baggy clothing thing is over. Skinny pants are in, and fat chicks are out.

It's not that I have a "right" to attention...it's just that I'm so damn cute, I get it anyway

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