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First Respect - 4/29/2007 6:27:18 PM   
ArtificerOfKink


Posts: 63
Joined: 3/23/2007
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline 		I have a question for all you mistresses out there.  Now, I am a male dom looking for a female sub so this really doesn’t have anything to do with me nor am I one of those “I’m a dom, but dom me anyway” dominants, just something I’m curious about in the lifestyle.

I have seen quite a few male subs who upon meeting a mistress they will treat her like a goddess or show an extreme amount of respect.  Sometimes to the point of offering gifts.  I also see some mistresses who seem to expect this.

The question I have is, doesn’t this cheapen the respect given?  The fact that they give it so freely with the only thing done to earn it is to label yourself as a Mistress and post a sexy photo?

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RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 6:38:21 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Beyond politeness, any other form of "honoring" to me is insulting, even calling me "mistress" I consider ill informed and at worst an insult.

I am not "a mistress" -- I am the owner of one slave currently who has earned the right to call me by that title just as I have earned the right to be called that title.


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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to ArtificerOfKink)
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RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 6:46:12 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		It doesnt cheapen the respect, since there is none there to begin with.  The title isnt used out of respect, it is used out of assumption that it is what we want.  These male subs assume that we appreciate the shows of over the top submission.  However, until someone gets to know me, and offers it to me for who I am and not which title I have tacked to my name, I dont see it as appealing. 
I dont like Mistress, at all. Even Angel doesnt use that, so anyone who tries to impress me by doing so fails. AS for gifts, its buying attention.  There are some dominant women who enjoy being spoiled and who have nothing against allowing a boy to spend his money on them for the privelege of sharing their time.  Thats not how I work. You cannot buy my attention, if you spoil me AFTER we are connected thats different. Beforehand, you are trying to use gift giving t put yourself in a better poistion... either becaue you think thats whats supposed to be done or bcasue you know you fall short elsewhre and you need to.

Short answer, I dont like it. I dont call every sub or slave my pet and I dont know why every sub or slave thinks I want to be refered to as his or her anything.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 7:18:03 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Only one sub can call me Mistress and that is the one who is collared to me. Anyone else is told that I am NOT your Mistress, so do not call me that. I do not like subs, male or female, alike who fall all over a Dominant gushing with supposed verbal ego boosting BS. Be polite, be respectful but maintain some self control. Anyone who is gushing empty compliments and flashing gifts is usually someone who just wants to get "done".

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to ArtificerOfKink)
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RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 7:20:22 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I have not experienced this.
I have had offers, but I don't meet "men" looking to pay for play.
Also what Lashra said!

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To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
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(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 7:39:47 PM   
HutchGarahl


Posts: 562
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Well. with all that's been said..I say ditto. Unless I have put a collar on one, don't pressume to call me mistress or expect me to call you mine. If I am taking one into consideration, I will call that one my potential. You will not earn the title of slave untill well after you have been under my command for a good while and therefore not entitled to call me mistress untill such time arises.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 7:45:31 PM   
GuidingLite


Posts: 233
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		Quote:
I have seen quite a few male subs who upon meeting a mistress they will treat her like a goddess or show an extreme amount of respect.  Sometimes to the point of offering gifts.  I also see some mistresses who seem to expect this.

The question I have is, doesn’t this cheapen the respect given?  The fact that they give it so freely with the only thing done to earn it is to label yourself as a Mistress and post a sexy photo?

END QUOTE

So your saying in ur opinion  the mistress doesnt deserve respect "when the only thing she does is label herself a mistress and post a sexy picture".  than how is that different from a you as a dom wanting intitial respect from a female sub when the only thing you did yourself to deserve it is to 'label yourself a master and post your most attractive photograph.'

< Message edited by GuidingLite -- 4/29/2007 7:51:50 PM >

(in reply to ArtificerOfKink)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 7:47:02 PM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		I don't allow anyone to call me Mistress unless I have agreed to take them on as a submissive. I don't mind ma'am as a term of respect, but using the "M" word will get you a sharp rebuke. As for false praise and overblown compliments, I treat that with a big old grain of salt. If anything, attempting to blow sunshine and sparkles up my backside makes me even less likely to be interested in someone - it makes me suspicious, frankly. 

(in reply to HutchGarahl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 7:50:08 PM   
GuidingLite


Posts: 233
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		QUOTE:  nor am I one of those “I’m a dom, but dom me anyway”
I have seen quite a few male subs who .........
END QUOTE


Most of these dommas are not pay me I expect it mistresses just  like your not a "dom me anyway" and by the way where did you happen to get to see all the male subs you know so much about?

(in reply to ArtificerOfKink)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 8:43:10 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		There is a difference between respect and patronization.  Most of Us are smart enough to know when the gift, or the respect, is sincere, and when it's just kissing up.

Do you mean to tell us, perhaps,  that you can't tell the difference between when a sub is being sincere and when you're just being patronized? 

What was the point of this question?

Ah, yes, but then, you've probably just labeled yourself a Dom and posted a wee wee pic somewhere to impress, no doubt.

TM

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 4/29/2007 8:45:39 PM >

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~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to ArtificerOfKink)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 9:50:21 PM   
Red82


Posts: 79
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		When addressing online, initialy i address them by their choosen screen name or tag, this still shows respect, not submission.

It doesent change much in person, still polite and respectful, and address them by the name i am introduced to them as.

If i am meeting another Dominant woman, i will treat her with utmost respect, but not submission. Everyone deserves respect, and i will not come off as being rude or ill mannered. Having said that, it does not mean that i will get on my knees and yes ma'am every woman who calls themselves a dominant.

Perhaps i am having a hard time explaining what i mean, or perhaps i am not understanding what is so hard to get here...

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 9:54:35 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		I think the OP was just Domme Slamming, Red.
But that's just My take on it.
TM

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~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to Red82)
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RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 10:19:34 PM   
GuidingLite


Posts: 233
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		no doubt passive agressive slimy slam disguised as a legit question.

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 10:21:36 PM   
GuidingLite


Posts: 233
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		check it op if some of them demand gifts, most of you doms demand sex just coz u label yourself a master and post ur best photograph available.

(in reply to ArtificerOfKink)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 10:24:54 PM   
MellowSir


Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		Hey I don't demand sex I seduce my way to it lol

(in reply to GuidingLite)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 10:40:10 PM   
GuidingLite


Posts: 233
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		yeah:  LOL

(in reply to MellowSir)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: First Respect - 4/29/2007 11:07:57 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

I think the OP was just Domme Slamming, Red.
But that's just My take on it.

It might just be jealousy because he can't get anyone to give him tribute.

Stranger things...

~stef

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"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: First Respect - 4/30/2007 1:20:33 PM   
farmlandsub


Posts: 35
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ArtificerOfKink

I have seen quite a few male subs who upon meeting a mistress they will treat her like a goddess or show an extreme amount of respect.  Sometimes to the point of offering gifts.  I also see some mistresses who seem to expect this.

The question I have is, doesn’t this cheapen the respect given?  The fact that they give it so freely with the only thing done to earn it is to label yourself as a Mistress and post a sexy photo?


my offering my gift of total submission to TexasMaam IS NOT cheap, it didn't cheapen our respect for each other. The fact that gifts are offered are out of love and concern for TexasMaam well being and pleasure.

may i ask what is wrong with "treating Her like a Goddess and showing extreme respect"?????.

my humble opinion TexasMaam didn't "LABEL Herself a Mistress and post sexy photos" She is a Beautiful Woman (that chooses not to post sexy photo) that posses a very deep quality of Loving Dominance.

i am saying this and speaking out knowing i may be rebuked for my forwardness but Your post was very demeaning to me as a sub and i would imagine also to many Dom/me.

my humble opinion is You label Yourself a Dom and are not getting the respect You demand because it is only a label to You not a loving quality.

(in reply to ArtificerOfKink)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: First Respect - 4/30/2007 1:27:53 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

I have seen quite a few male subs who upon meeting a mistress they will treat her like a goddess or show an extreme amount of respect.


I have also seen this.  Come to think of it I have also seen male doms do the same thing when meeting a lady.  Perhaps they are being gentlemen? 

Seriously, though, what exactly is an extreme amount of respect?  I have gone on my fair share of vanilla dates a long time ago in a galaxy far far away and it was not uncommon for a guy to bring flowers or a small token. 

quote:

The fact that they give it so freely with the only thing done to earn it is to label yourself as a Mistress and post a sexy photo


Why would you make the assumption that this is the only thing that person did to garner such respect from a potential mistress? 

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-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to farmlandsub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: First Respect - 4/30/2007 1:31:45 PM   
Ericus1


Posts: 47
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline 		I was noticing several posts against the idea of a sub refering to a Domme as Mistress at first.  I know that I was trainned in such manner that to fail to refer to a Domme as Ma'am, Ms., or Mistress is considered an insult to Her and reflected poorly on my trainning. 

I know many other subs who have been trainned in that same manner.  Just something to think about.  No disrespect is intended to anyone else's opinions is intended.

ericus

(in reply to ArtificerOfKink)
Profile   Post #: 20
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