Worthiness and being a Master (Full Version)

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akbarbarian -> Worthiness and being a Master (4/29/2007 11:18:52 PM)

My earlier post was actually a serious experiment in disguise, to observe what knee jerk reactions are out there by posting a subject "I am a Master" without providing any evidence outside of my claim.  "Master" seems to be a signal word with an emotionally charged response in those who hear it.  I have long had the sense that it is not viewed as appropriate to identify as one without somehow earning the title somehow, like it might be frowned upon for a smart person to be called a "Genius" but it is ok for others to pay that title as a compliment.  Outside of interpersonal relationships, the word Master is applied to things without a stigma like this.  Questions of "Is this person worthy to be called Master" directly expressed or implied in one way or another seem to no end to pop up.  I'd be curious what others have to say on the topic.




juliaoceania -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/29/2007 11:22:58 PM)

I saw the thread and did not respond possibly because it does not matter to me how people define themselves or refer to themselves.




imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/29/2007 11:28:20 PM)

Edited because i misunderstood the op.

i identify myself as a slave in the "community" so yes if someone said they were a master ...or a dom...or a sub...etc.  i would refer to them as such...




stef -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/29/2007 11:30:28 PM)

*shrug*

I've never been all that concerned with how a person chooses to refer to themself, but they shouldn't expect I'll refer to them that way as well.

~stef




akbarbarian -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/29/2007 11:37:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

*shrug*

I've never been all that concerned with how a person chooses to refer to themself, but they shouldn't expect I'll refer to them that way as well.

~stef

Aha!  This is on track with what I was getting at.  Would you refer to someone as a submissive if they identify themselves to others that way, say for example to a kink friendly and aware person?




ownedgirlie -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 12:00:42 AM)

I didn't see the other thread.

I think in any walk of life, we define people in our own minds, regardless of what they call themselves.  A really crummy guitarist might tell me he's a musician and I'll smile and say "Okay" and in my head I'll think "Not a chance, at least not yet anyay."  That's because I applying the term "musician" to my own standards of what I view a musician to be.  So master, dom, sub, slave, top, bottom or side to side, I'm still going to think of them according to my own standards and definitions, and it's likely that they'll do the same with me.

We see that here all the time.  I view myself as my Master's slave and others may decide I'm not a slave according to their standards, and so it goes. It's only after conversing with and getting to know one another that people really have an understanding of how they view themselves and others. 

I've talked to people who self identify as labels I would not apply to them but it's not a big deal to me, really.  Are they good people?   Do they mean well?  Will they accept me even if they define me differnetly as I accept them?  Those are the things that count to me.




spanklette -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 12:13:58 AM)

It's the label that's charged...because there is no real definition. Announcing to one and all that you are a master is one thing being one is a completely different thing. I think it's the announcement that brought on "knee jerk" reactions.
 
You've brought yourself to a place where anyone can choose to call themselves anything they want and create a persona to match that identity. So, being taken seriously can sometimes be a hefty chore.




akbarbarian -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 1:20:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

It's the label that's charged...because there is no real definition. Announcing to one and all that you are a master is one thing being one is a completely different thing. I think it's the announcement that brought on "knee jerk" reactions.
 
You've brought yourself to a place where anyone can choose to call themselves anything they want and create a persona to match that identity. So, being taken seriously can sometimes be a hefty chore.

Well sure it has a real definition.  It does sound rather grandiose if you look at what it says in the dictionary however, pompous and even deserving of that pomp.  Perhaps that's the problem, there is no six year M/s degree available.




darkinshadows -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 4:01:30 AM)

I havent seen the post you are speaking of, so simply commenting on this.
However a person wishes to identify themselves as is their choice.  How I speak to them is mine and somewhere inbetween - is how it develops.  I do not treat anyone different, regardless of orientation.  To me, everyone is a person - end of.  How you identify  - be it s-type, american, gay, jew etc... then I politely remember and take that into consideration, but other than that - you are just you.
 
Peace




krys -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 4:20:58 AM)

Well I don't have a knee jerk reaction to the phrase Master, but I do have a knee jerk reaction to being "experimented" on and to people with a self-stated lack of sincerity and personal agenda.  I presume that anything and everything that person has to say is complete bullshit, that way I can avoid being experimented on again later.  




sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 4:48:58 AM)

Well anyone can call themselves what they want, including Master. For me there is only one Master and that is mine. Master to me has always been a more personal term between a Master/Mistress and a sub/slave. I can't judge a persons worthiness at face value. I have to get to know them on a deeper level to determine that. What is worthy to one may not be to another.




RavenMuse -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 5:27:09 AM)

Mostly I don't much care how others lable themselves. If they are not Mine then it doesn't effect Me much.

After saying that occassionaly when I see or hear of some of the actions of the real crettins out there, nasty, malicious, dangerous or childish and they have been using a lable that is applied to Me... I do get a moments irritation that they have misapropriated the lable and, probably in some eyes, lessened it. There are so many dims out there calling themself Dom or Master that it is no wonder some girls react negativly to the lables.

At the end of the Day, personaly. I am a Dominant person who has been either Dom or Master to one or more girl for almost all of the last 26 years and am comfortable with either lable...... or none at all. Some girls choose as a sign of respect to address Me as Sir or Master Raven, I never ask that of any who are not Mine (The only ones not Mine where I have expectation of a certain form of address is from a Gorean girl, as per Gorean protocol from a slave to the Free) but I accept it for what it is, respect.

To desire... I am "my Master" and hearing that coming from her heart, with the dynamic between us reflected in it.... never fails to make Me smile.




LadyPact -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 6:05:53 AM)

I didn't see your original thread, but I started one with a similar thought process a while back that I gave the subject "How did you claim your title" or something like that.  It was along the same lines of what people call themselves when I wrote it, but some really interesting stuff came out of it that I hadn't thought of originally.  It might be worth a look.




Jevousadore -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 6:07:23 AM)

Hello, akbarbarian.....

If I receive a message from someone who calls themself "Master John", I will usually reply with the same title.  However, it does not mean I consider them to be my "Master", or even a "Master" by my preferences.  To me it is the same as replying to "Mr. Jones".  No one is my Master or Dom until the relationship is established between us.

Now, if someone insists that I refer to them as "Master" or some other title, I ignore them.  Their demand and need for the title itself actually decreases any respect I might have had for them and is a huge "red flag" that there may be some underlying personality issues I don't find attractive.  I am drawn to men who are secure enough within themselves and who they are, without needing the title from someone who is not their submissive or slave. That quiet self confidence as opposed to the bully strutting on the playground.  I find that when I am in contact with a Dom, the more I learn to respect and admire him, the more I will desire to address him in a way that shows respect for his knowledge and strength. 

jevousadore




MstrssPassion -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 6:12:42 AM)

I was considered to be a Master within a "community" I was once involved with but to use this title or call myself this anywhere else people would scoff at me to the point that I would be laughed out of the room. (or off the website)

People want you to "prove" yourself & really... how do any of us prove any claim to entitlement, amount of experience or length of time at this or anything else.... unless of course you hang out with the same core group for your entire life. We are a mobile world & many of us move around & do so every few years. With the birth of the internet we can reach out & socialize with people worldwide... just because Master John Doe in Heartland, USA "earned" a title of master within his little peer group of 50 to 100 town locals does this mean slave jane in B.F., Egypt has to recognize him as such when they cross paths in a chat room?

I just wrote in another post something that can be applied here as well.

I y'am what I y'am.

I don't feel a need to prove to anyone anything about myself because as soon as you are challenged in that manner no matter what type of proof you come up with they will just try to find something else to beat you up about.

My practice is this... I just let people get to know me. Those who I wish to get to know me more, well I might go that extra step, introduce them to people I have known for many years & such. As for everyone else out there sizing me up... well I really don't give a shit what they think of me because in the grand scheme of it all, their opinions are just that, opinions & those opinions matter very little in my world. I don't have a desperate need to be regarded in some lofty manner. 

So in the case when others introduce themselves to me with any titlement... dom/sub/switch/master/mistress/slave/top/bottom... whatever... I'll give them the courtesy of accepting this as the term they wish to be identified as but "in that grand scheme of it all" how they present themselves, carry on with others & their over-all actions will determine how I identify them.




HutchGarahl -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 6:29:02 AM)

I saw your post last night, but unfortunately lost internet before I could post. My response was going to be...

Master of what?

It was plain and simple because to me, master in this style is an earned title, not one that can be tacked to a name.




Stranger1 -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 6:43:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

My earlier post was actually a serious experiment in disguise, to observe what knee jerk reactions are out there by posting a subject "I am a Master" without providing any evidence outside of my claim.  "Master" seems to be a signal word with an emotionally charged response in those who hear it.  I have long had the sense that it is not viewed as appropriate to identify as one without somehow earning the title somehow, like it might be frowned upon for a smart person to be called a "Genius" but it is ok for others to pay that title as a compliment.  Outside of interpersonal relationships, the word Master is applied to things without a stigma like this.  Questions of "Is this person worthy to be called Master" directly expressed or implied in one way or another seem to no end to pop up.  I'd be curious what others have to say on the topic.


Master is a relationship dynamic.

It's generally bestowed by a slave.[;)]




spanklette -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (4/30/2007 10:22:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

It's the label that's charged...because there is no real definition. Announcing to one and all that you are a master is one thing being one is a completely different thing. I think it's the announcement that brought on "knee jerk" reactions.
 
You've brought yourself to a place where anyone can choose to call themselves anything they want and create a persona to match that identity. So, being taken seriously can sometimes be a hefty chore.

Well sure it has a real definition.  It does sound rather grandiose if you look at what it says in the dictionary however, pompous and even deserving of that pomp.  Perhaps that's the problem, there is no six year M/s degree available.



I did not mean to imply that a definition does not exist...merely that it doesn't apply. I guess, I wasn't as clear as I intended to be. Everyone has a different set of standards about what makes a "Master" some of them are at two ends of the same spectrum. That is all that I meant.
 
Maybe they should have a M/s test down at the DMV so that we can get a mark on our Driver's License that denotes our persuasion and the right to to the title we claim. (I sure wouldn't mind brandishing a cane down at the DMV, and I'm not even a sadist).[:D] 




MasterFireMaam -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (5/1/2007 9:45:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I saw the thread and did not respond possibly because it does not matter to me how people define themselves or refer to themselves.


Ditto. Actually, I thought, "Ok...and...?"

Master Fire




Suleiman -> RE: Worthiness and being a Master (5/1/2007 10:41:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I saw the thread and did not respond possibly because it does not matter to me how people define themselves or refer to themselves.

Ditto. Actually, I thought, "Ok...and...?"
Master Fire


Yeah, that was pretty much my thought. "Good for you, whomever you are" (polite golf clap) "You're a Master. If you're very lucky, someone else might even agree with you." I didn't bother to read the thread either.

Really, it looked like trollbait, like one of those posts where someone is bored so they say something provocative to drum up a little attention. Still, I had to admit, if that was the case, it was a nice change from the usual whine threads that crop up when someone is feeling bored and petulant.

So... in the original experiment, did anyone deem you "worthy" of the title, and if so, what was their criteria? Did they ask you for references? Demand a resume of past experience? I am terribly curious - aside from getting into a long-term relationship with a self-declaired submissive who is willing to call you their owner or master, how does one get the title bestowed upon them?




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