Showing your face in CM.com pics? (Full Version)

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EasyE -> Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 12:39:17 AM)

Hey,

I've been a member at collarme for quite a while.  I've been thinking lately of the dangers of not remaining as anonymous as possible.  I mean this in terms of; people outside the lifestyle finding out and getting future employment.  I do not let any of my friends know of my lifestyle and since I am a young college student, that is for the best.  I realize to view the pic they would have to come onto this website so they may have kink as it is but none the less.

My face is my best feature [&:] so I wouldn't want to cover it up if it is not necessary lol.  Is this a rational fear or not?  I want my lifestyle to remain as secret as possible.

Tell me what ya all think!!!

Thanks,

Ed



spanklette -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 12:45:32 AM)

If you feel comfortable enough to put one up, then go for it. If you are too nervous that someone will "out" you then I suggest not.
 
As for me, I really don't mind whether people know or not. If they've made it onto this site to discover my picture, more power to them.
 
I do have a job that would become more difficult in the political sense if my colleagues were to find out, but the benefit out weighs the risk, for me. Now you need to decide if the benefit out weighs the risk for you.



GeekyGirl -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 2:31:32 AM)

I'm "out" about my lifestyle to everyone including friends, family, and coworkers (it's great to work somewhere that has civil service where it's hard to get fired for an invalid reason.)

The only "weird" experience I've had is when someone from work recognized me on here, told me he knew me, (backed up with facts to support the claim) and then refused to tell me who he is. Now I've been looking at every person who matches his profile description at work trying to figure out who he is!

But other than an annoyance like that, I have had no problems from showing my face. I recognize that some people feel they "need" to hide their lifestyle, but that's not a person I care to get involved with. I want my partner to be as "out" as I am and so I pass by on profiles with no face pictures.



SweetDommes -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 2:43:04 AM)

I go back and forth about it - but for the most part, if someone finds my pic on here, then they were here for a reason and I'll point that out to them.  I do not discuss my sex life at work, and I will make sure that they know I resent them talking about it.



Focus50 -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 3:19:30 AM)

It's a personal choice - no right or wrong. 
 
Me, I'm not the least bit ashamed of my lifestyle needs and choices so I put mine out there.  Of course, I can't say as I've ever described my face as my best feature - but the fem/subs seem to like my eyes; izzat close enough?  lol
 
Focus.



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 3:28:19 AM)

If someone at work were to discover your picture on here, and try to out you, they would be outting themselves.  If someone came to me and said, "did you know that so and so has a profile at a kink site?", I'd be asking them how they knew.

Why would they want to risk outting themselves if it endangered their job?  If they were already out to the boss, then obviously, whether or not one is kinky has no merit in whether or not one remains employed at said job.

Right or wrong is solely up to you.



subsfaith -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 3:32:15 AM)

I have my picture on here, if someone sees it, as previously posted, they must have some sort of kink to be here also.  I generally go on the assumption that people respect each other's privacy. 

On the few occasions that I have encountered of people being outed they have brought the situtation on themselves by not so nice personality traits.  Do unto those as you would have done to yourself.

With regards to future employment, is this really relevant?  If I were employing someone I might do a google search on their name, but I wouldn't troll the pictures on here.  If you want this part of your life to be a secret, then keep it a secret, there are no hard and fast rules.

:: smiles ::



Tenebrious -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 3:45:27 AM)

I'm more interested in whether or not a site claims an "unlimited license" on a photo of my face than if somebody might find it.  People think I'm weird anyway, so seeing me on here wouldn't likely surprize even those that aren't totally up to date on the intimate details of my personal life.



slaveluci -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 4:02:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz
If someone at work were to discover your picture on here, and try to out you, they would be outting themselves.  If someone came to me and said, "did you know that so and so has a profile at a kink site?", I'd be asking them how they knew.
i used to think exactly the same way until a similar thing happened in the system where i work.  Someone discovered a woman and her husband on a swinger's site where they had posted their pictures.  They "reported it" to the board of that system and she was questioned about it.  She and her husband both ended up leaving in disgrace and it was a front page newspaper story in the small, rural county where it happened!  Can you imagine?  My first question was "How did these people come to see it if they weren't on the same site looking to swing?"  It apparently didn't matter why they were looking there.  The "cat was out of the bag," so to speak, and the damage done.  i said if i was this woman, i would have sued their asses off for civil rights violations.  i mean how did she and her husband swinging have ANYTHING to do with the performance of their jobs?  But, it was just too humiliating for them to pursue, i suppose, since they had been "outed" and it had been publicly reported. 
 
THAT is the main reason i decline to ever put my pix on public sites such as this.  It's just not worth the hassle that could result.  Am i ashamed of my choices as far as this "lifestyle?"  Nope.  But, i don't feel i have to shout it from the rooftops or proclaim it in the streets anymore than vanilla folks need to announce their sexual and lifestyle preferences.  i can proudly be what i am while practicing discretion.  Master has the same situation as far as His job.  W/we share photos on an individual basis once a relationship has been established and that has worked wonderfully..........slave luci




Satyr6406 -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 4:18:21 AM)

I used to be in law enforcement and I had a profile on another adult site.
 
I had friends who were "outed" but, because we never included our faces in nude photos, nothing could really be made of it. If it comes down to it, you could always insist that someone PROVE that your face photo and any "embarrassing" photo be authenticated to be the same person (next to impossible, if you don't include your face in the "naughty" one).
 
Also, I am fairly proficient at Paint Shop Pro which allows you to pixilate any portion of a photo you like (before you post it) so that your attachment to "naughty photos" is next to impossible.
 
I hope I've helped.
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael



MstrssPassion -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 4:23:01 AM)

I posted the first picture of myself online over 10 yrs ago & nothing has ever happened because of it. The way I look at it... if they see me on here or at any fetish event then they are just as "guilty" as I for being here.

The only time anything about my particular lifestyle came up at work is when a co-worker & customer were overheard talking about the upcoming munch... my name just happen to come up when the customer asked if I was going to be there.



asubmissiveheart -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 4:39:40 AM)

Its easier for me not to have a picture up.
So I don't have to worry about it.



mnottertail -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 4:42:39 AM)

I don't show my real face here, I have posted a picture of an ugly man, but I am really 3 or 4 times more ugly than that.  Seems to get the chicks, tho.  I think that you shouldn't have a great deal of concern about being outted in Nigeria.

There is at the very least plausible denial:

If the situation crops up, you say of course that's me, and I am going to sue somebody, it must be my jealous ex-boyfriend mr. big trying to sully my vapid reputation I am so embarrassed and cross with him, thank you for alerting me to the fact-------ummm what are your profile names on here?


Ron



LadyEllen -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 4:43:40 AM)

Well, I have at least two lookalikes amongst the regular contributors to the boards..... so prove which one of those profiles is really mine, aside from the name and location!?

And given the very small sample of people who contribute to the boards as against the whole population, and that two lookalikes are present in that small sample, and there must be at least 100 other people in the UK alone who could be my double. It isnt me, officer.

E



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 4:46:29 AM)

If you are concerned about being outted, you actually have more of a chance if you use a screenname they can recognize, and not a picture they will know. I found that my screenname returns this site, along with my multiple others. If the screenname isnt consistant, the chances that someone is going to run across your profile on here and connect it to you is slim. Im of the opinion that someone outting me at work would just have a grudge, and I would most definately ask for an explination of how they came bout my information on the site.  I am not hiding my involvement, and there is nothing in my written profile that can be held against me. AS for my pictures, in order for them to find something "naughty" they would have to do more than a cursoury search, which indicates they were looking for a way to get me in trouble.  Tables turned.

Hope that helps
DV



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 5:33:28 AM)

i have no reason to fear of being outted at my job ...it's not hard to miss the many collars i wear around the radio station i work (or local shows when i review indie bands) for plus we have done shows about BDSM, bondage etc - even featured Mistress Xena a couple of times ...oops, i forgot to mention we're an internet radio station and the FCC rules don't apply to us.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 5:44:27 AM)

I suppose its a personal preference. I don't have a fear about being outed at my job. Alot there know what I am. If you fell comfortable then do it if not , no big deal.



Jevousadore -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 5:49:31 AM)

Hello, EasyE....

Working in law enforcement/emergency personnel, I was required to sign an oath of standards.  Although I doubt I would lose my job if I were "outed", it would be considered indiscreet and frowned upon.  The public is funny when it comes to my type of work. 

My picture is "G" rated, and if I were to send anything more "risque" , which is very rare and only after some trust has been established, my face is never, ever seen.

My biggest fear is someone hijacking my picture and using it elsewhere.

jevousadore



LadyPact -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 6:01:27 AM)

I used to worry about having My face displayed here and on other sites.  Remember the big news story about the cop whose wife had posted naked photos on an adult site and his world came crashing down?  I used to think that would be the case if anyone saw some of the things I've posted.  Then, I thought about it and realized that, in most cases, no one really cares.  As a Domme, it's not as touchy of a situation as being a sub.  Most of the females I know that are aware of My private life are happy to see a woman in charge and most of the males that know wonder about the kinky sex.  If they run across My pic, I think My first reaction would be.... ha ha..... caught you looking.



TheDiva -> RE: Showing your face in CM.com pics? (4/30/2007 6:04:30 AM)

If you want your lifestyle to remain "as secret as possible", then putting up a pic might not be the thing for you. But I'd think that what was posted before (in re: someone having to out themselves to give out information about you) applies. Any of your peers who might find you on the site would be unlikely to go around announcing it, as they're also announcing their presence on CM by doing so.

OTOH, I had a funny experience regarding a photo I had up. I was chatting with someone who was telling me about his particular fetish and what he did for a living. He had recognized the background of the photo, and asked me a question about it. Turned out he was someone I knew; he worked for the same company. Unfortunately, I'd always thought he was a twit so I couldn't even have lurid fantasies about the whole thing.

AFAIK, he never mentioned it to anyone else, but I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that: "Yeah, she's a dominatrix man!....How do I know? Well uh, I was chatting with her online and we were talking about my trampling fetish....Anyway, I'm disgusted that there are people like her among us. I mean...PVC? That's just freaky!"

Edited to state that the first part of my post was directed at the OP and not spanklette. (Damn you, Fast Reply! One day I will learn to use you properly and then you will be powerless over me!)



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