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domme vs. top - 4/30/2007 4:29:40 PM

bbwdommelilith

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I have been trying to understand the primary difference between a domme versus a top; there is enough overlap to be confusing to me. I understand that a submissive can be a top to their domme if ordered, but what distinguishes between a domme and a top?

Lilith

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RE: domme vs. top - 4/30/2007 4:37:46 PM

LotusSong

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From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith

I have been trying to understand the primary difference between a domme versus a top; there is enough overlap to be confusing to me. I understand that a submissive can be a top to their domme if ordered, but what distinguishes between a domme and a top?

Lilith

Dom/me : involves commitment, dedication, and responsibility to your submissive.

Topping: role play to meet your needs or the orders of someone else. Any semblance of commitrment and responsibiity ends when playtime is over.

This is my opinion.

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RE: domme vs. top - 4/30/2007 5:22:27 PM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith

I have been trying to understand the primary difference between a domme versus a top; there is enough overlap to be confusing to me. I understand that a submissive can be a top to their domme if ordered, but what distinguishes between a domme and a top?

Lilith

Not a problem.

A Domme is a woman who is involved in a lifestyle involving in many cases, BDSM, and other similar lifestyle choices.

A Top is a little twirly spinning thing.

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RE: domme vs. top - 4/30/2007 5:31:16 PM

mp072004

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I use "dominant" to refer to a person who accepts and exercises authority, and who receives obedience and often service as well. Being dominant does not mean that one is a sadist, or enjoys binding people, or enjoys applying sensation--although, those aren't excluded. "Domme," I guess, would fit in here, although I don't like that word. (Why? For a number of reasons, but chiefly, for the same reason I don't like "lady doctor" or "authoress"--the word for a behavior or role doesn't need to be different just because a woman is doing it, even if the behavior or role is typically or traditionally enacted by men.)

I use "top" to refer to a person who gives sensation. No power/authority quality there, necessarily, although a giver of sensation can also be a receiver of obedience.

Think of power or authority (dominant, submissive) as a separate axis from sensation or pain (top, bottom, sadist, masochist). You can participate in both, one, the other, or neither. If you participate in both, you don't have to be a dominant top or a submissive bottom, although those are fairly common configurations. You can be a dominant bottom or a submissive top, if you like.

Monica

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RE: domme vs. top - 4/30/2007 7:04:50 PM

TigressFL

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IMO

Dom/me is a person that wants to have some level of "authority" over the person they are in a relationship with or the person they are playing with. They will speak to them or treat them as if they own them when the person consents.

Top is a person that is simply enjoying the "kink" aspect of play. There is no power exchange. A top would not speak to someone or treat them as their property as that is not what it is about for them.

It is not "what" is done, it is "How" it is done.

Tigress~FL

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RE: domme vs. top - 4/30/2007 7:13:15 PM

MistressDolly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith

I have been trying to understand the primary difference between a domme versus a top; there is enough overlap to be confusing to me. I understand that a submissive can be a top to their domme if ordered, but what distinguishes between a domme and a top?

Lilith

A Top is a person (of any gender, any orientation, etc. ) who services another person's needs (sexual or otherwise).

A Domme is a female dominant.

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RE: domme vs. top - 5/1/2007 8:57:23 AM

earthycouple

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith

I have been trying to understand the primary difference between a domme versus a top; there is enough overlap to be confusing to me. I understand that a submissive can be a top to their domme if ordered, but what distinguishes between a domme and a top?

Lilith

Not a problem.

A Domme is a woman who is involved in a lifestyle involving in many cases, BDSM, and other similar lifestyle choices.

A Top is a little twirly spinning thing.

Could that be more disrespectful to Tops and bottoms alike? So are you saying a Top is not a valid part of this life?

Go figure....

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RE: domme vs. top - 5/1/2007 9:01:10 AM

MsKatHouston

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I think he was trying to be humorous with a reference to the child's plaything, the little spinny thing you twirl on the floor til it topples over.

quote:

Dom/me : involves commitment, dedication, and responsibility to your submissive.

Topping: role play to meet your needs or the orders of someone else. Any semblance of commitrment and responsibiity ends when playtime is over.

This is my opinion.

I agree with this definition and the others similar to it.

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RE: domme vs. top - 5/1/2007 9:39:49 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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And remember a person can be BOTH a dom AND a top.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_605383/mpage_1/key_master%252Cdom/tm.htm#606932
Ms vs Ds

http://www.collarchat.com/m_794045/mpage_2/key_kinky/tm.htm#794460
Ds vs bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_486719/mpage_1/key_master%252Cdom/tm.htm#486891
from dom to master

http://www.collarchat.com/m_271859/mpage_2/key_master%252Cdom/tm.htm#272880
dom or master

Master vs Dom

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RE: domme vs. top - 5/1/2007 10:06:15 AM

Vartan

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Just wanted to say thanks for all of this explaining. I am new to the structured world of the scene and find this to be a very educational post.

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RE: domme vs. top - 5/1/2007 10:16:06 AM

MasterFireMaam

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You'll get MANY different answers to this. For me, I follow these definitions:

Top/bottom = physical roles
Dom/sub = mental roles
Master/slave = spiritual roles

They can be mixed and matched at will.

Master Fire

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Post #: 11