quote:

ORIGINAL: Araven

This is going to sound somewhat strange I suppose, and this is going to be a question posed to my fellow male subs, and the ladies that would know their subs or have helped their subs work through these issues:

On my journey exploring my submission, I've began to struggle with how to express sexual desires and how to remain submissive and not feel so guilty for letting these things desires arouse me. In many ways I'm also sexually inexperianced. In my mind, BDSM and sexuality go hand in hand. BDSM is an arousing thing for me and I'm a bit shy to admit that it turns me on. Even moreso, if I was to play, I think one of my bigger fears is to be vunerable, turned on, and sort of "exposed". Perhaps its my upbringing, but I'm always a little bit embarassed to be turned on from such things. How can one get past the feelings of shame, guilt, and embarassement at such acts? How do you other submissives with a similar problem handle it?

I've been talking with one particular friend of mine about the issue, and she's been very helpful. The best way I've found so far, is to know that through my own shame, and embarassement, that is it actually pleasing for my dominant to know that they are turning me on. For me.. submission was always about pleasing the other person. But recently it seems as if some get their pleasure from watching the twisted expressions of tortured pleasure on their subs? This was a total mind-job for me, a difficult concept to grasp.

So my question to you all: How do you other male subs incorperate your own sexuality and wants on the submissive level to your mistress? Do you push it aside? Try to hide it? And to the Mistresses: Do you get pleasure from knowing you are turning on your submissive? That he is aroused by the very acts you do? Or does his pleasure not matter so much as long as you are pleased?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

It goes like this:  "Mistress, I wish to discsuss something with you".  Then discuss the issue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Araven

....

I've been talking with one particular friend of mine about the issue, and she's been very helpful. The best way I've found so far, is to know that through my own shame, and embarassement, that is it actually pleasing for my dominant to know that they are turning me on. For me.. submission was always about pleasing the other person. But recently it seems as if some get their pleasure from watching the twisted expressions of tortured pleasure on their subs? This was a total mind-job for me, a difficult concept to grasp.

So my question to you all: How do you other male subs incorperate your own sexuality and wants on the submissive level to your mistress? Do you push it aside? Try to hide it? And to the Mistresses: Do you get pleasure from knowing you are turning on your submissive? That he is aroused by the very acts you do? Or does his pleasure not matter so much as long as you are pleased?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Araven
On my journey exploring my submission, I've began to struggle with how to express sexual desires and how to remain submissive and not feel so guilty for letting these things desires arouse me. In many ways I'm also sexually inexperianced. In my mind, BDSM and sexuality go hand in hand. BDSM is an arousing thing for me and I'm a bit shy to admit that it turns me on. Even moreso, if I was to play, I think one of my bigger fears is to be vunerable, turned on, and sort of "exposed". Perhaps its my upbringing, but I'm always a little bit embarassed to be turned on from such things. How can one get past the feelings of shame, guilt, and embarassement at such acts? How do you other submissives with a similar problem handle it?