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RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 7:11:18 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		.. Including being okay with only being a  Plan B person to them?

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 7:18:42 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		I've been a plan B a couple of times.... Wasn't aware of it at the time until they decided to drop the bomb and "trade up"....lmao

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 7:30:48 AM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		I don't settle for Plan B, I stopped that when I reached my 20's.
If I can't have Plan A, than there are no more options for me.
I have a great life, great friends and so much to be thankful for.
My life is Plan A, regardless of whether I have a mate or not.
I am alive and all is well for me.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 7:37:36 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

.. Including being okay with only being a  Plan B person to them?


as much as i hate to admit it...
there are times that being Plan B for another fit with my Plan A. 


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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 7:46:01 AM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting question Puella,,I guess I can say that in my life..before my divorce, plan A ,was to work on the marriage..Plan B to divorce..Plan B however made me much more happier in the long run and brought joy and light back into my life.As far as being someones Plan B, as another said, "I get a whiff of being someones Plan B and I am out of there!"I have enough emotional baggage,I do not need any more, and to knowingly accept such, even if the "other" is my Plan A, for me, that would simply be "asking for another suitcase of angst.Always remember, there is more than one Plan A out there...Tempting

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RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 9:07:27 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I don't really have a direct answer to your question, but I will say this. People who settle for plan B relationships often do so out of a lack of self-worth. They don't think they are deserving of a plan A person. Very often this is a very subtle, even subconscious thing, that the person never even acknowledges about themselves.

I don't believe there is any direct relationship between Plan A/B relationships and M/S ones. Not that there can't be, just that it is not a requirement. I know people in M/S relationships who would only settle for a plan A person to have that relationship with.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 2:46:21 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Hello SirDominic,

I am sorry, I did not mean to imply that the 'Plan B" concept was one I was applying strictly to D/s relationship... just that that is the milieu we are presently in.  :)

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We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 3:55:48 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i have had for the past 6 years a Plan B person to whom i was His Plan B person and that seemed to work out fabulous for both of us until His Plan A put a stop to it.  *laughs!*

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 6:54:56 PM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		My husband was a Plan B.

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is more than two, but less than three."

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 7:09:32 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1

To all you plan B's out there.

People can only treat you as a plan b, for as long as you allow them to!

Vote with your feet, or put up and shut up. You decide your worth, not another.
little1


What did you say when you were not plan A?
Sorry for the sarcasm, but then again, no I'm not.

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 7:13:21 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		Until we find plan A (if we are lucky enough to be each other's) we are all plan B.

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 8:09:14 PM   
RedheadGirlNY


Posts: 59
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline 		Reading the responses to this thread makes me wonder.  As a single parent, do I treat anyone who is in my life as a "Plan B" by default?

Now I need to look at my choices in partners over the past two years and ask "Did I choose him because it was clear that he wasn't going to make me 'Plan A' ?"

What I want hasn't changed, the desire for "more" is raising its head though.  Thanks for the food for thought.



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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 8:24:45 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		~FR~

I'm an all or nothing kind of gal.

I'm either the one you want or go away. I won't settle and if i knew someone was planning to "just settle" for me. I'd walk away. I deserve to be wanted for me and just for me.

I had a moment where I found in one person everything I wanted and needed. That time showed me what a relationship could be.

Having touched my hearts desire, I would never settle for less again.

added:  My ex husband was my plan "B" lol and because of how that ended, I would never do it again.

< Message edited by akisha -- 5/5/2007 8:27:35 PM >

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RE: Plan B - 5/5/2007 11:40:20 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

So who out here has a Plan B or person B.... If you are plan or person B... how do you feel about it...

By 'plan B' I mean.... the person you reconcile yourself to, or the person you turn to when your heart is broken and you resort to knowing you will never really get what you really want... just the shit you settle for...

What kind of masochism/sadism is Plan B?


My plan B boys?

Ben and Jerry.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Plan B - 5/6/2007 8:02:36 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Hi, puella,
I did understand where you were coming from; just mentioned the M/S because you did in your original post. I'm curious on your thoughts about the first paragraph of my post:

I don't really have a direct answer to your question, but I will say this. People who settle for plan B relationships often do so out of a lack of self-worth. They don't think they are deserving of a plan A person. Very often this is a very subtle, even subconscious thing, that the person never even acknowledges about themselves.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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You teach best what you have lived.

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Plan B - 5/6/2007 8:05:55 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		I think that is probably true sometimes, but not always.

I think sometimes you do not realize just how insignificant you really are until well into a relationship... until you are well committed to and emotionally tied to that person....I do not know if that is because you are silly or because they are cunning enough to know when they can let down the guards without fear of losing their pillow.

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Plan B - 5/6/2007 9:57:56 AM   
RedheadGirlNY


Posts: 59
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline 		It took five minutes of searching (a long time, really, all things considered) to find the quote that this thread made me want to use as a sig line:

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Plan B - 5/6/2007 10:35:27 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Nothing better than a real honest and open mutually beneficial "plan B" relationship....Unfortunately too amny people who engage into these deals want to change the parameters and push thw=emselves up to be that of "A" material....Then the fight ensues....Where she says, "I don't want to be an afterthought, or someone who you call at the last minute or as a last resort."...Then you say something like. "Oh you were never a last resort...That would be plan "J."...She then gets pissed and tells you to fuck off and to never call her again....Then you slip in some porn,sit back alone and happy, and enjoy another rousing encounter with plan "J."

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Plan B - 5/7/2007 9:03:38 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

I think that is probably true sometimes, but not always.


I agree. That's why I said "often". I try to always avoid always and to never say never.

quote:

I think sometimes you do not realize just how insignificant you really are until well into a relationship... until you are well committed to and emotionally tied to that person....I do not know if that is because you are silly or because they are cunning enough to know when they can let down the guards without fear of losing their pillow.


I don't think one's being silly is a probable cause. But you are right, those that prey on women (or men) with low self esteem are very good at putting up that good front until they have their catch. Once they feel they have you hook, line and sinker, they allow their real personalities to come out.

I think as well, many times, what looks like strength to someone with low self esteem is viewed by them as good self esteem. This is often a huge attraction for the person with low self esteem. The problem with that is someone coming on strong and confident does not necessarily signify high self esteem.

So I believe it is a combination of cunning on the predators part, and misunderstanding on the part of the one with low self esteem combine to create an attraction that leads to an unhealthy relationship.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Plan B - 5/7/2007 9:25:35 AM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		i felt like i was Master's plan B for a long time after we met, in a non-sexual sense, and then as a more romantic sense. You know what i'm talking about....feels like he leads you on and then expects you to wait/takes it for granted when you do? But as a result of my lending an open ear to His troubles with the friend i had met Him through, W/we became closer.

It depends on whether or not you're willing to wait. If not, you will waste time being miserable for something that might never happen. If you are, it might weild benefits in the end.

Not that i encourage it...i have been plan B before, and never before has any of my frustration turned fruitful.


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"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 60
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