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RE: question about a scene - 5/6/2007 3:44:24 AM   
farieanne


Posts: 65
Joined: 2/24/2007
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline 		i think that i know my Master as well as i know myself as He does me. i never would be wearing His collar if i didn't. i KNOW that He is would never, ever share me. i also know that He is VERY clean and detailed in what He does. If He were to decied to share me i know that He would have my saftey, both physicaly and mentaly, as His first priority. i would not question Him. If i was so uncertain i think i would be talking to Him about my feelings of insecurity and mistrust more than about the playing with other Dom/mes. W/we do not use a safe word during play but i do have one that i am to use anytime i feel i need His undevided attention. i think this would be a good time to use it.

Master Peter's
"A woman will always sacrifice herself if you give her the opportunity. It is her favourite form of self-indulgence.”- William Somerset Maugham

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: question about a scene - 5/6/2007 6:36:17 AM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtKaboom

   Keeping a slave unknowing of what is to come is one of the joys of Mastery.  It is wrong of you to question his decision and seek outside opinion as you have done here.


So I guess slaves shouldn't be allowed on the message boards. *eyeroll*


aqua....wtf !  That is NOT what Kurt is referring to.  If you think it is then get your head around the thread. 
 
Kurt IS correct in this issue.  IMHO.
If an s discusses this issue with the D,
TRUSTS the D with ALL the issues including CONTROL of the situation,
she will have a mind blowing time. So will the D.
 

Example ~~ http://www.collarchat.com/m_948083/tm.htm
This sub, discussed her desires with her Domme, trusted her Domme to CONTROL the entire scene and keep her safe the entire time and truely RESTED in that TRUST .....  yes the writing up of the scene comes in installments, but 3 days of the scene, is I am sure, difficult to write as every detail must be remembered.

< Message edited by shyinini -- 5/6/2007 7:22:45 AM >

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: question about a scene - 5/6/2007 9:15:10 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini
Example ~~ http://www.collarchat.com/m_948083/tm.htm
This sub, discussed her desires with her Domme, trusted her Domme to CONTROL the entire scene and keep her safe the entire time and truely RESTED in that TRUST .....  yes the writing up of the scene comes in installments, but 3 days of the scene, is I am sure, difficult to write as every detail must be remembered.

I think we're comparing apples and zebras here.

A nice dom you occasionally have some fun with and think you could do some cool scenes with is one thing.

A person you've gotten to know and made a serious long term commitment to give all ultimate authority in every aspect of your life over to someone else is something else.

No matter what, unless they are IN a committed relationship in which they have been told they are NOT to communicate how they feel or what they need, it's completely necessary for the one person to inform the other if a situation is not right, or if they feel it very well might be inappropriate for them.

When did having scenes go from something fun and mutually fulfilling to enjoy into a cage to be trapped in?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to shyinini)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: question about a scene - 5/6/2007 1:29:09 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		i am going to go out on a limb with this one as i got a gut feeling when i was reading it that you actually have someone in mind you want to do this scene with.  When you brought it up with this play partner and he said he would arrange it and the rest was none of your business, now you feel you may have other partners he wants to do this scene with.  Like i said it was just a hunch, could and probably am wrong lol.  At any rate, if he is a play partner why are you beholden to him and not allowed to negotiat this scene?  i could u nderstand if he owned you, but i don't think this is the case, or is it?   i can undestand your concerns and certainly would have them myself.  Ultimately you either trust him and go along or tell him you need more information or you won't do it, but be prepared for him to perhaps take a step back with you as showing him you don't trust him as mush as he thought you did might give him reason for cause.  Maybe it's a good thing, if you are not at the level of trust where you need to be to make this thing work for you??

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to collaredslave07)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: question about a scene - 5/6/2007 3:34:01 PM   
simplyangelic1


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtKaboom

     Keeping a slave unknowing of what is to come is one of the joys of Mastery.  It is wrong of you to question his decision and seek outside opinion as you have done here.


So a slave should mindlessly obey every command her Master gives her without thought for her own safety?  What fantasy world do you live in?

(in reply to KurtKaboom)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: question about a scene - 5/6/2007 6:02:36 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: collaredslave07

Im writing this under a different name because it concerns someone that I play with. When talking with him one day I mentioned that I wanted to try a scene with him and maybe 2 or 3 other Doms. Not exactly a gangbang scene but more of a sharing of me between the guys. Anyway he agreed to the idea but he wont give me any specifics, which is usually a good thing. Keeps the suspense and leaves me wondering what exactly he has planned. But this time since it involves more people then just him I kinda want more details like where is he getting the men, are they people he knows or just random people? How is he going to make sure they are safe and disease free? I am fine with not knowing exactly who the guys are but he wont even tell me how he knows them or if he knows them. I ask and he says its none of my bussines, that he will be there and in charge of my safety. I do trust him to keep me safe, its not so much that im worrying about. I guess my main concern is that he wont tell me anything and im really concerned about where he is getting the guys, I dont want them to be just random guys that he meets somewhere. Anyone have any opinions on it?? Should I just go along with it or get more details?


Your health is vastly more important than any line you might cross.

Always.

Abruptly.

< Message edited by Griswold -- 5/6/2007 6:03:06 PM >

(in reply to collaredslave07)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: question about a scene - 5/6/2007 6:07:24 PM   
soulfulkitten


Posts: 27
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		Hello,

I think part of the issue comes down to trust. 
I would assume he knows of your wishes to remain safe and disease free. 
After that, how much do you trust him?

Good luck with this,
soulful_kitten

(in reply to collaredslave07)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: question about a scene - 5/6/2007 7:11:50 PM   
KurtKaboom


Posts: 203
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplyangelic1

So a slave should mindlessly obey every command her Master gives her without thought for her own safety? 



      Yes.  What part of 'slave' do you not understand? 

_____________________________

You love hating yourself for loving me

(in reply to simplyangelic1)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: question about a scene - 5/6/2007 7:17:48 PM   
farieanne


Posts: 65
Joined: 2/24/2007
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline

So a slave should mindlessly obey every command her Master gives her without thought for her own safety?  What fantasy world do you live in?
[/quote]

ummmmmm,............. If you do not trust your Dom/me completly then why be with them? Why take their collar? Yes, i trust my Master COMPLETLY! i obey His every command, but not mindlessly or without thought for my safety or other wise, i decided and thought about that BEFORE i  submitted to Him. If i did not think He was capable and would always take my safety into account then He would not be my Dom. It is not a fantasy wold it is called a D/s or M/s relationtip.

Master Peter's

"A woman will always sacrifice herself if you give her the opportunity. It is her favourite form of self-indulgence.” - William Somerset Maugham

(in reply to simplyangelic1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: question about a scene - 5/6/2007 7:18:38 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings collaredslave,

if you do not trust the person you are scening with implicitly, then imho, it's not wise to go through with a scene like this at all. the fact that you are questioning his ability/authority/trustworthiness in and of itself throws up red flags for me...if it doesn't feel right to you, why are you even scening with him in the first place?

annabelle.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 5/6/2007 7:19:15 PM >

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to collaredslave07)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: question about a scene - 5/8/2007 6:11:25 PM   
kinkntwist


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/27/2004
From: Nu Yawk
Status: offline 		Finding other Doms to do this kind of scene is a real bitch... that is the only thing that I can tell you... you should be greatful that the guy is willing to do this kind of thing for you to begin with. He is probably more selective about the dudes that he will pick to do you, than you would be, were you to pick dudes for yourself to score with....

\m/

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: question about a scene - 5/8/2007 6:27:36 PM   
OhBeMyMind


Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline 		~quickie~

Reminds me of the saying (altered by me):
Careful what you wish (or ask) for.......you just might get it.

_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to kinkntwist)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: question about a scene - 5/8/2007 7:06:04 PM   
pattayonacracker


Posts: 50
Joined: 1/21/2007
Status: offline 		i on the other hand do not think it wrong for her to question, from what i am reading he is NOT her owner therefore in my opinion, he should at least reassure her that she will be safe, they are tested, etc

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: question about a scene - 5/8/2007 7:08:07 PM   
pattayonacracker


Posts: 50
Joined: 1/21/2007
Status: offline 		What part of safe, sane, and consentual... do YOU not understand?
slave does not = doormat
you dont buy us, you choose us as we choose you. therfore we have a right to remain healthy!
Sorry i hit the wront reply button
this is a reply to KurtKaboom ?


< Message edited by pattayonacracker -- 5/8/2007 7:09:15 PM >

(in reply to KurtKaboom)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: question about a scene - 5/8/2007 7:17:17 PM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtKaboom

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplyangelic1

So a slave should mindlessly obey every command her Master gives her without thought for her own safety? 



     Yes.  What part of 'slave' do you not understand? 


i serve my Master and want Him to be happy. That is always my goal.

Therefore, i feel that there are times when in order to ensure His happiness, He may need to be saved from Himself.

i trust him with my life, and He would never put me in real harm's way or even disregard my happiness.  However, Him being Master does not make Him a god. He makes mistakes, and He can be wrong or overlook things. my being His kitty does not mean i am stupid or have nothing valuable to contribute. If i thought He was making a mistake, i would offer my opinion. There are simply areas i am more knowledgable in them He is, and vice versa.

This also means ensuring my own happiness. Without confidence and satisfaction, i would be unable to serve Him well. It is for His own benefit that i would take care of myself and look out for my own safety in such a situation.

Sounds a bit like I, Robot eh?

Anyways...collared. i would suggest approaching him with your corcern, let's say it's STD's, somewhat like this:

"Did all your chosen partners come back with a clean bill of health?"

Either he will say yes, and you will be aware, or he will be confused...

"Oh. i'm sorry; i thought you would have the results from STD testing by now." and leave it up to him.

In this manner, you have in not questioned his judgement or been impertinent, but you have brought to his attention that you are thinking of your health. The decision after that is ultimately up to him.

If you want to be more direct (i'm not sure how your Sir feels about it, it's up to you), somehting like, "Master, i remember discussing a possible [whatever word you would call it] with you, and it felt like it was a go. i'm worried about some things, can you help me understand?"


I don't think there is anything wrong with letting him know you are concerned as long as you don't insult him or make him feel as though you don't trust him. Everyone needs things to be explained, and if he doesn't want to, i'm sure he will let you know.


_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to KurtKaboom)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: question about a scene - 5/8/2007 7:19:05 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: collaredslave07
I trust that he would keep me safe from anything serious happening. He wouldnt let the guys do anything to me that he didnt approve of, I trust him on that. I guess my biggest fear is that he will find random guys somewhere to join and I really dont like that idea. There's so much more to worry about with random people then with someone he knows.

You either trust Him, or you don't.  And frankly, if you are worried he's picking up "random people", you don't trust him.  You don't trust his judgement to pick people that are disease and drug free.  You don't trust him with your health or your safety.  You are demonstrating by your questions here that you don't trust him or his judgement.

My guess is he is not answering your questions delilberately because he wants to:
#1 - ramp up the pressure/anxiety on your part.  Kind of like the uphill journey of the roller coaster...  Or perhaps
#2 - Test your trust in him.  He's pushing to get you  to either safeword out of the scene or "shut up and put up" on the trust issue.

In either case it could be a dream scene or a nightmare, but the only way to find out is to go through with it.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to collaredslave07)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: question about a scene - 5/8/2007 7:35:40 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		And, for what it's worth- I personally am not willing to go through such an intense scene with such high risk potential for physical nightmare consequences (pregnancy and/or disease being the most obvious) just so some dorko dom gets the pleasure of my "trust."

Trust is earned, there's no reason for THIS scene to be done THIS way when you have THIS shallow of a relationship together.

So not worth the risk for me, but it's your scene and your boundaries.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: question about a scene - 5/8/2007 7:50:50 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: collaredslave07

Im writing this under a different name because it concerns someone that I play with.

Anyone have any opinions on it?? Should I just go along with it or get more details?



If you've never discussed health issues with him before, I would put a stop to the plan, until you do.  He is not your Master. He is "someone that you play with".   It doesn't sound like you are in the type of relationship where you can simply obey him and rest assured that he already has your safety covered.  He is a play partner who is refusing to give you information that is pertinent to your health and safety.  

If you want an outsider's opinion, from an objective point of view--- It smells really bad.  I'd run to the nearest exit. 



_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to collaredslave07)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: question about a scene - 5/8/2007 7:51:43 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Yep...Unless you don't mind random unclean cock shoved up your pussy then go right on ahead.....I know my friends very well, But I couldn't begin to tell you which ones might have warts, herpes, or any other random shit hanging around their dick and balls.....

It seems that without having each and every dick wrapped you are taking a chance that doesn't need to be taken.

_____________________________



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: question about a scene - 5/8/2007 8:01:31 PM   
somethndif


Posts: 136
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtKaboom

     Keeping a slave unknowing of what is to come is one of the joys of Mastery.  It is wrong of you to question his decision and seek outside opinion as you have done here.


Not to put too fine a point on it; this is utter bullshit.

Dan

(in reply to KurtKaboom)
Profile   Post #: 40
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