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marfre -> RE: Formation of dominants and submissives (5/10/2007 12:17:46 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
We often hear that submissives are formed from abusive parents and I think many of us have seen enough examples to know that, while common, certainly isn't universal. So my question for submissives is how many of you had parents who didn't provide structure, who didn't provide boundaries or whom grew up in chaos and thus crave structure?
I look forward to many thoughtful and challenging answers!
SimplyMichael,
My childhood was normal, parents supportive and caring. My father was very ill early in my life and I had to take on a great deal of responsibility for the household and his care. I have been the controlling, responsible, in charge of everything woman ever since. Even now, I have become a caregiver again.
I am a dominant female in RL. I think that’s why, in my sexual relationships, I want to give that over to someone else. To be out of control with someone I like and trust. I want to submit, to surrender, so I no longer have to control everything around me. I want that responsibility to be someone else’s for that part of the relationship
So yes, there is probably a strong correlation. I learned to be strong and controlling in RL, and in so doing, I found a needful escape appeared in my sexual expression.
As for whether or not it’s healthy, I would say so. RL now is very vanilla. I have missed the submissive sdie of myself for years, and think that has put a dulling filter over many other parts of my life.
~m
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