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RE: What Do you Want? - 5/9/2007 9:20:09 PM   
JackHammer2000


Posts: 148
Joined: 3/29/2006
From: southern california
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl
too hung up on our racial differences and worried about what others will think


I dated someone who was like that.

My definition of racist:  "Any judgement based solely upon race as the determining factor, is racist."

_____________________________

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
-- James Bovard, Source: Lost Rights. The Destruction of American Liberty (St. Martin's Press: New York, 1994), p. 333

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/9/2007 9:27:06 PM   
JackHammer2000


Posts: 148
Joined: 3/29/2006
From: southern california
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
BEsides the obvious ( common interests ); Violence. I tend to gravitate towards those who have a sense of underlying violence about them.


Very interesting response.  I don't know why, but I think that's SO sexy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
the same that I would choose in any man; honor, integrity, compassion, humor, loyalty, etc, etc


quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
the lack of the above mentioned qualities.


Are you Gorean?  I ask because I observe that a lot of Gorean people list many of those qualities as those they value the most.

Then again, I guess that list is not exclusive to people who identify with the Gorean culture.

Or, I may just be still completely ignorant about these things.  :)

_____________________________

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
-- James Bovard, Source: Lost Rights. The Destruction of American Liberty (St. Martin's Press: New York, 1994), p. 333

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/9/2007 9:35:09 PM   
JackHammer2000


Posts: 148
Joined: 3/29/2006
From: southern california
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Eruditegirl


Their presence is a major factor for me....it's not what is said....or even what is done....more in the way they carry themselves....and are perceived by me or others....self assured....social grace....mannerisms...this is what attracts my attention from across the room.... There has to be a mind....creative....thought provoking conversation...I crave knowledge in all aspects of life...from D/s to Jung....so I need to be constantly stimulated mentally as well as sexually....this is what keeps my attention  Being treated like arm candy....lack of respect for my mind....and wanting to play with me before knowing who I am....this is what loses my attention 

additional attractions.... long haired Asian men with law degrees.....


Hey, I think I know someone who might fit those descriptions!   LOL! 

Yeah, I think it's kinda sad and callous to simply hop into the sack (or rack, whatever) without spending time to get to know the person you're... er... sacking (or racking, whatever).  I dig mental turn-ons, and I like KNOWING who I'm er, about to sack (or rack, whatever). 

_____________________________

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
-- James Bovard, Source: Lost Rights. The Destruction of American Liberty (St. Martin's Press: New York, 1994), p. 333

(in reply to Eruditegirl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/9/2007 9:42:49 PM   
JackHammer2000


Posts: 148
Joined: 3/29/2006
From: southern california
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1

Poor mannners
Lack of respect
Living with parents
Unemployed
Dishonesty
Presumptiousness
Somebody not willing to meet me in person within 4 wks even for a coffee
 
And some rather personal preferences, that are too impolictically correct to list here, but exist anyhow. Im not proud of this list, it just is. Overweight being one of them.
little1
 


I think that everyone has a right to have preferences that dictate who they voluntarily choose to be with.  With over 6 billion people in the world today, I think that it should be perfectly okay to say you prefer Person A to Person B -- and NO ONE should force you to justify your preferences (except yourself, perhaps).

Disclaimer: the above presumes healthy, non-abusive relationships, kinky or otherwise.

That said, I'd love to know what makes your "Politically Incorrect" turn-off list.  I'd appreciate it very much if you would indulge me with a PM. 



_____________________________

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
-- James Bovard, Source: Lost Rights. The Destruction of American Liberty (St. Martin's Press: New York, 1994), p. 333

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/9/2007 9:57:14 PM   
JackHammer2000


Posts: 148
Joined: 3/29/2006
From: southern california
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Tall, gamer, geeky, confident, very silly. Mountain folk, cowboys, and the enlisted get a +10 bonus.


Yeah, I like gamers, too!  I enjoy video/computer games as well as table-top RPGs -- although, I never reallyhave the time to indulge myself in these activities (at least, not anymore)... 

My Opinion:  +20 competence bonus for women who know what to do with a d20. 
 
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
To be fair, compassionate, loving, good with kids, good with animals, doesn't mind hanging out with family, likes Star Wars and Mythbusters. must love Invader Zim and appreciate a good beer.


Oh...?

*recovers from stunned silence*

KotOR rules! 

I can't WAIT for The Force Unleashed to come out!

Why oh why did SWG have to SUCK so much?

My favorite Episode:  RotS.  I swore off the entire franchise after AotC, but then had the sense to see RotS on the big screen.  Just when I thought I was out, I got pulled right back in again. 

Have you ever seen the TV show "Heroes" on NBC?
http://www.nbc.com/Video/rewind/full_episodes/heroes.shtml

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Assholeness. Arrogance. Hitting in anger, crossing the line between BDSM and abuse. Extreme jealously, inability to understand that I'm still an intelliegent woman as well as being a submissive. Discredits my opinions because I'm a sub/woman/whatever.


I'm sorry to read that you apparently had to deal with some extremely insecure people in your life.

There is no excuse for abuse.

I once volunteered to teach a women's self-defense class at the local community center.  I think the most frustrating thing I saw were some of my best students showing signs of physical abuse, presumably from their significant others.

I have issues with bullies; it's probably one of the reasons I went to law school.  Unfortunately, it seems that BDSM attracts more than its share of bullies.

*hopping off soapbox before something bad and ugly happens*


_____________________________

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
-- James Bovard, Source: Lost Rights. The Destruction of American Liberty (St. Martin's Press: New York, 1994), p. 333

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/9/2007 10:00:00 PM   
JackHammer2000


Posts: 148
Joined: 3/29/2006
From: southern california
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

what atracts me  Well physically broad shoulders and a great smile.

Bur what really attracts me is and air of total confidence i find that very sexy  also a bit of arrogance but just a bit.  if he has a good snce of humor thats a +.

Qualities well gentlenense it one for sure  again confendience (again), loving,gives great hugs.

Turns offs those who expect mre to submit to them just cause they call themselves a dom, game players (not gamers i like gamers), punishing me in anger or not tellinf me why i am being punished/displined, not respecting me as a person because i am a sub.

I am lucky Masterhas all my turn ons and none of my turn offs.

Matt's littleone


WOW!  Sounds like you are BOTH lucky to have each other!  Congratulations to both of you for finding each other!  I wish you both happiness together forever!

(Hey, did that sound like the lyrics to a bad disco song?  If it did, I apologize.)

_____________________________

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
-- James Bovard, Source: Lost Rights. The Destruction of American Liberty (St. Martin's Press: New York, 1994), p. 333

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/9/2007 10:06:11 PM   
JackHammer2000


Posts: 148
Joined: 3/29/2006
From: southern california
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlewhispers
patience, humor, considerate, loving and yet firm....someOne who is wants to get to know me..not just the physical me..
 


I think that REALLY knowing each other can be the biggest turn-on.  I think that's when the best sex -- and relationships -- happen.

quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlewhispers
 and someone who realizes that above and beyond the most important person in my life is my son..
 
disrespect to my son, the inability to accept that He is not perfect and can be wrong..and definately anyone who tries to tell me what to do within the first 10 minutes of meeting..


I think that disrespecting someone's child is simply uncalled for.  Everyone makes mistakes, and children are people, too.

I respect that you are a good enough mother to prioritize your maternal responsibilities over your personal love/sex life.

_____________________________

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
-- James Bovard, Source: Lost Rights. The Destruction of American Liberty (St. Martin's Press: New York, 1994), p. 333

(in reply to gentlewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/10/2007 12:06:33 AM   
greeneyes1962


Posts: 117
Joined: 9/7/2005
Status: offline 		an even temper, can take care of himself ( financially, housekeeping, cooking), neatness, consistency. There's a lot more, that's a good starting point though.

(in reply to JackHammer2000)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/10/2007 6:22:12 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JackHammer2000

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl
too hung up on our racial differences and worried about what others will think


I dated someone who was like that.

My definition of racist:  "Any judgement based solely upon race as the determining factor, is racist."


i had planned a coffee meet and greet with a dom from and when he cancelled our meet, i realized  he was the one who had the problem worrying about what others would think about him being seen with a black woman around town.  i had no problem enjoying a nice cup of coffee or attending a munch with him - i consider myself  "color blind" when it comes to dating even though i have never dated within my own race.

i don't understand why men get so hung up about the opinions of others especially when dating outside their race.  i personally don't have a problem since i have dated interracially many times before. and when i do meet a guy outside my race, the very first thing he asks "you don't have a problem since i'm white and not black"  no, but i do have a problem with those who are too worried about what others will think.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 5/10/2007 6:26:10 AM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to JackHammer2000)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/10/2007 8:37:28 AM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		Emotional stability. I already have plenty of friends who are empathic vampires and narcissists. The kind of person who, when they bitch about their problems excessively, they're being human and venting, but when anybody else does that person's being self-centered and whiney. That's a negative personality trait in anybody, but especially in a significant other.

Also, a sense of whimsy and silliness is good. There's no reason to be so serious about everything.

And lastly, a bit of mellowness in attitude. I mean, I'm a fighter by nature, but even I know when to just chill out about something. People who constantly fight and rebel just for the sake of it annoy me to no end.

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/10/2007 9:27:20 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Are you Gorean? 

I would not go so far as to list myself as such. HOwever, I do look for the same things in a person that any other would. Honor, loyalty, integrity are all things that most would want in a person; even if they don't list them.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to JackHammer2000)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/10/2007 12:31:23 PM   
PrincessEllie


Posts: 287
Joined: 11/30/2006
Status: offline 		There are so many little things that attract me to a person I doubt I could list them all...so I'll just go for the big picture.

I would like to be attracted to him on both a physical and mental level. The physical bit might sound shallow, but I wont lie and say attraction is 100% mental for me. If we're going to get groovy, I want to think that he's hot. I'd also like an intelligent Dominant, someone who can have debates with me and not relapse into stupid comments. He has to be open minded, not only to the outside world but to me as well. I want him to be trustworthy and not to lie to me, cheat on me, or harm me. [I use harm in the context of a lasting painful condition that can be mental or physical.]

He would have to care for me as I would have to care for him. No kink without love is my motto. I'd like him to be cruel and kind at the appropriate times, and his being a sadist would be a bonus. He couldn't be a passive Dom and expect me to be a doormat for him; I want him to force me to submit and try for it. He'd have to be able to handle a brat [That's me! But hey, at least I admit it.]

That's pretty much it, if I exclude the littler things.


_____________________________

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

http://www.cafepress.com/scenedayware
--Discreet BDSM day clothes--

(in reply to JackHammer2000)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/11/2007 6:29:56 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		In response to the op's question; chocolate.
I'm a simple girl.

(in reply to PrincessEllie)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/11/2007 10:48:06 AM   
Donnalee


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Their presence is a major factor for me....it's not what is said....or even what is done....more in the way they carry themselves


I like a man who has a strong sense of himself...one who clearly has examined himself and knows what he's got to work with and where he wants to go with his life and the people in it. 

Leadership;  good quality leadership ability as evidenced in his own life.  Someone who's taken the time to do his homework.

I like tall men who are H/W proportionate, and then THE VOICE.  Gotta have a voice that catches my ear and makes me want to stand just a little bit taller.


< Message edited by Donnalee -- 5/11/2007 10:49:34 AM >

_____________________________

Just through all of your ups and downs ... know that I love you dearly.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/12/2007 10:03:46 AM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		Turn-offs include  Domme who expects me to sub for her boys/men as well. Sorry, hard limit, as are golden showers and needle/knife play.
Turn-ons include self confidence, not grand-standing, senuality and charm, not predator/prey, honesty (huge!), with compassion and understanding to help me push my boundaries. For someone I trust there is very little I would not try to achieve.

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to JackHammer2000)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/12/2007 10:44:53 AM   
StellaByStarlite


Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub


 
 
Tall, gamer, geeky, confident, very silly. Mountain folk, cowboys, and the enlisted get a +10 bonus.

To be fair, compassionate, loving, good with kids, good with animals, doesn't mind hanging out with family, likes Star Wars and Mythbusters. must love Invader Zim and appreciate a good beer.




Haha.. I just realized that you described my male Um almost to a T. =) Geeky, silly, loves Star Wars and other kids. Love animals.

Well, not the beer or the tall part. He's only 11. =)

Yes, he's gunna have incredible geek appeal in a few year, lol

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/12/2007 11:28:39 AM   
littlespicyone


Posts: 28
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		What attracts me is inteligence and the understanding that just because I identify myself as submissive does not automaticly negate all my other attributes and make them unimportant. I am attracted to a man whose words capture me as much as His voice does. I'm attracted to confident men who are not arrogant.  I like a man who can make me feel safe and secure and loved. Doesn't really matter what He looks like as long as He is clean and I don't have to put a bag over His head to look at Him.

I want Him to be fun and sweet and affectionate. I want Him to be intelligent, well-read, and well-spoken. I want Him to exude dominance even when being silly with me. I want Him to be able to stop me with a look or by speaking my name. I want him to like to play games (not head games, mind you) and most of all I want him to enjoy owning an inteligent woman who CHOOSES to submit to Him of her own free will and not  because she is a "subbie"

Turn-offs are dirt, arrogance, ignorance, shallowness, inability to compromise.

(in reply to JackHammer2000)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/12/2007 4:22:16 PM   
raevnn


Posts: 152
Status: offline 		In the past, when I was single, I would look for someone older, wise, who was a gentleman, a sadist, demanding, passionate, has a high libido, is in control of themselves, is aggressive, confident, and is actually prepared for a relationship... among a slew of other things, none of which have to do with penis size.

Things that turn me off: whining, being out of control of themselves, still living at home, being immature, close-minded, hypocritical, completely cynical, angry, rude, financially or emotional unstable (I don't want to be financially taken care of, but I don't need to be someone's mom, either), lying, and not keeping promises are all high on the list of turn offs.

< Message edited by raevnn -- 5/12/2007 4:23:24 PM >

(in reply to JackHammer2000)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/12/2007 7:50:21 PM   
minnetar


Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline 		To me it is based on whether you have common interests.  Whether the Dom is intelligent.  Have the same beliefs about limits.

minnetar

(in reply to JackHammer2000)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What Do you Want? - 5/12/2007 8:02:08 PM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		I must agree with you about having similar religious backgrounds/preferences.  For many people, their religion dictates a large part of their self-identity.


This is interesting cause he is agnosticand I am not...... but during our intense exploration of each others philosophies I could totally accept this of him and he could accept where I was from and am at.... totally amazing to me
 

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.


(in reply to JackHammer2000)
Profile   Post #: 40
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