RE: Better for D/s?

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RE: Better for D/s? - 5/10/2007 1:14:06 PM

daddysliloneds

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the more i read this thread, the more i can't help but think that your problem has nothing to do with past relationships and the way you are now as opposed to then...

the one and only thing that keeps popping into my mind is: have you had your hormone levels checked recently?

(in reply to puella)

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RE: Better for D/s? - 5/10/2007 2:40:56 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Actually, given the choice, I left my parents, and I reported them for their destructive actions to me and my person. And I certaintly did not adore my mom,

quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo

When a child has destructive parents that child still loves and adores them. If they had the choice to stay or leave, most would choose to stay for the simple reason that destructive so often equals control.

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Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

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RE: Better for D/s? - 5/10/2007 2:49:23 PM

puella

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hehe.. How genttile of you.

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We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

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"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

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RE: Better for D/s? - 5/10/2007 7:54:19 PM

DarkDreams123

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quote:

ORIGINAL: puella
Can a person, even if in a potentially destructive and unhappy relationship, be a better person because of some aspect of that relationship (perhaps in this case extreme devotion and power exchange) than if in a ‘healthy space’ (how wildly empowered and new agey of me, eh?) alone?

Greetings puella,

I have been reading your thread and thinking about what you and the others have been saying. I have a bit of a "contrary" point of view on this.

What's so wrong with admitting that there were some good things to a relationship that, ultimately, had to be ended. I know that you are aware enough to see that relationships are complex things: they aren't entirely either good or bad, but a mixture of the two. When we say a relationship is "bad", we usually don't mean that it is all bad, but that the bad outweighs the good.

It sounds to me like you have just a little touch of hubris in you that you don't want to admit that being in a relationship might bring out the best in you. I think this is true for most of us. Being in a relationship, even if it is not an ideal one, challenges us to move outside of ourselves. It gives us someone to focus our "good intentions" on. Why should this realization cause you dismay unless it is your pride that is suffering?

I hope that my "tone" is not perceived by you as harsh; it is not meant to be so.

I wish you well.

-DarkDreams

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RE: Better for D/s? - 5/10/2007 8:21:03 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny
I'm so glad that I'm happy now. There is so much to look forward to in life. I wanna do everything , it's like a kid in a candy store.. so many possibilities!

I'm glad you're happy, too. :) It's like being reborn, isn't it? I remember the very first time I went grocery shopping after moving away from him. I stood in the middle of an isle with tears running down my face because I didn't know what I liked. Now I get to taste everything! It's been one discovery after another. You're right - the possibilities are endless!

As for boundaries...that took therapy and help from my Master, and I only recently began to understand mine. As you get to know and love yourself, you begin to realize what's not okay to receive from others. And then it's not so hard to protect that.

Welcome to your life, and enjoy your discovering!

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RE: Better for D/s? - 6/12/2007 4:13:00 AM

yourgrrl

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interesting , since i was to believe different, i guess i was mistaken wasn't i? funny how one feels that she is Your love, only to find out something like this , here.

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RE: Better for D/s? - 6/12/2007 10:57:37 AM

LadyMaraSedai

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puella, sometimes accepting that a relationship is "no good" for us is a difficult thing. As time goes on though we learn to see that it was best to leave that relationship behind so we can grow and learn more about ourselves. It does get easier with time, trust me. What you have to do is look at why you feel the way you do. Is it for a good reason or is it self pity? If it is self pity you can work on changing the cause behind it.

I, personally, have given up on relationships that others thought we "great" because I knew in my heart they weren't good for me. Was it hard to do? Hell yes. Did I get over it? Yes, I did pretty much. I still have issues I"m working on but don't we all?

Good Luck
LadyM

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