Mercnbeth
Posts: 11766
Status: offline
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quote:
This will all come to an end, now that Merc is getting me run out of Dodge. Hey now! Getting the 2nd opinion confirming my case of "nuts" I pulled back my threat. Heading over now to see if my new status entitles me to SSI or at least a handicapped parking space. Doctor - I can't get these "Daily Affirmations" out of my head! quote:
Stuart Smalley: I'm gonna do a terrific show today, and I'm gonna help people because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me. Hello. I'm Stuart smalley. Uh.. before I start the Halloween show, I just want to make amends for yesterday's show, in which I said Madonna was shame-based and sick in her own disease. I.. I had no right to take Madonna's inventory. As we say in Program, when you point a finger at someone, you have three fingers pointing back at you.. and.. I guess.. a thumb pointing up at God. Or something. Whatever. I don't know. I'm sorry. Okay. Anyway, today is Halloween, and I decided to wear a costume, as a treat to my inner child. It's a skeleton, because it's scary, and because it reminds me that I'm a human being. And that's.. okay. That's what I am. And, besides, I think it makes me look thinner. Now, I had thought of trying to come up with something a little more creative or original, like dressing up as a feeling. But what does dread look like, you know, other than my mother? Anyway, of course I'm gonna be home tonight when all the little ghosts and goblins knock on my door "Trick-or-treat." And I decided not to give out any candy, because I don't want to enable any little sugar addicts, which, believe me, I was. I used to go home with my big bag of candy and eat it all in one night, and get sick and try to puke.. but I couldn't, and that's why I weighed nearly 300 pounds. Believe me, binging was not a problem; purging, I just could not do. So, instead of candy this year, I've decided to give out rice cakes. A few kids might be disappointed, but that's.. okay. It's their problem. How about - turning every thread into comedy?
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