GoddessDustyGold
Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004 From: Arizona Status: offline
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Alright, I am going to take this down another road. The OP says the reason the boy is expected to pay is "...well you want to play... " I do not have any problem whatsoever in having a boy pay. In the first place, he is pursuing Me. Yes, I have an ad, and I state what I am seeking. If a boy is interested enough, after several emails, and some phone time to pursue that further, then I will go out to dinner, or to lunch, for for coffee. And I have absolutely no compunction about having him pick up the check. The boy is not paying for play. he is paying for a date with Me to get to know Me and meet Me, and he is pursuing Me. I don't pursue boys. I am just old-fashioned that way. I am not meeting you to "play". I am not meeting you because you hope to get some sort of payoff. LA said it well. I am not the life support for your fetish. And if you can't deal with the fact that I am gracing you with My presence at dinner, or lunch, or even coffee, and you can't treat Me as I expect to be treated, then too bad. And if I want to play, I can go to the Saturday night dungeon party at My local group and have as many boys as I wish. They are throwing themselves at Me. I have yet to meet a boy who would not jump at the chance to find the nearest alleyway and get the party going if he thought that paying for My dinner entitled him to some domination in exchange. And, sadly, that is what has happened with any kind of dating. I don't care how much a boy says "there is no pressure"...there is pressure. The difference is I don't give that pressure a second thought. I ignore it. I am honest and upfront, and if that is not good enough, then I guess we are not going to meet. I drive Myself, BTW. And I didn't promise you play in the first place, or on the first meet. If you only want to take Me out for coffee because you think that you will get something in return, then your loss. It's not happening with Me. I do not go to hotel rooms or make boys buy the toys. If I was doing that, I would consider it a Pro session. And *that* you will pay for. And I am with kc692 regarding toys. If they are intimate, you will provide them and then you can take them home with you. If they are not intimate...well I have an entire trunk full, and I am more than happy to use those items. If a boy does not have much money, that is always taken into consideration. I am sure he is managing to take someone (or just himself) to the movies once in a while, or out for coffee, or he might even be spending some money at the sports bar on the weekend with his buddies. So I don't really want to hear any stories about how it is not affordable. I am not greedy. A coffee shop for some coffee and pie is just as good as a 5 star restaurant in My book. I am speaking of arranged meetings after a period of time spent on email and telephone. I am not speaking of getting together with someone with the strict intention of ending the date with some casual play. I am personally tired of being lumped in with all the Ladies who seem to irritate all the boys so much with their mercenary agenda. Do you go out on a vanilla date and then complain if you paid the way but you didn't get sex afterwards? This is the way our whole society has developed. If I feel like paying for something I will. But I don't automatically assume I will pay, and I don't automatically insist on paying because it makes Me feel less obligated. I don't feel obligated, in the first place. And if this is where the boy is coming from, after all the emails and telephone conversations, then I guess I had just as much of a miserable time as he did. My answer to the OP is...if you are going to a hotel room, and you don't know the Lady very well, then it is as good as a Pro session as far as I'm concerned. This is not a date. I don't end dates or first meetings in a hotel room. Those that do, or the boys that think that is cool, are just trying to get some free kink. If you have a longer term relationship, this question shouldn't be coming up at all. Because you should already know enough about each other to be able to comfortably talk about this type of arrangement and what is affordable for each. quote:
My argument is both parties are getting enjoyment from it so why should one be forced to pay? This statement tells Me that you are definitely equating this to prostitution. If the Lady is enjoying the play session and she is not a Pro, then why should you have to foot the bill? (BTW, some Pros do enjoy what they do). If you have a good relationship, I expect you would not be using a hotel room in the first place. If you have only recently met, and you need to run off to a motel room to get tied up and have your ass spanked, and She is willing, then I say even if She is having the best time of Her life, if She says you pay, then you decide it you want to pay or not. If you are not important enough to Her to put the kibosh on the "no pay, no play" rule, then I am willing to bet She is not important enough to you, because you are asking this question in the first place. you could probably avoid most of this debate by simply taking the time to get to know someone, instead of jumping into the first pair of handcuffs that get dangled your way. Or pay your own way into your weekly local dungeon party, and hope that someone will notice you and give you some playtime. I am not trying to give anybody a hard time here. This is an endless debate. The bottom line (no pun intended) for Me, is that these questions, comments and yes...sometimes out and out hostile whines, are coming from boys who think just because We have an ad, or state We are in the lifestyle automatically means that We are chomping at the bit to get you into our bedroom. When you agressively pursue a Lady or Ladies, and that is the ultimate goal for you, whether you mean to or not, you are going to attract the Ladies who don't care and will be the life support for your fetish...for a price, of course.
< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 6/29/2005 10:38:46 PM >
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Dusty They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety B Franklin Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them The Hidden Kingdom
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