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Asherdelampyr -> Erotic tales (1/17/2008 8:25:16 AM)

It's around ten pm, you are driving home from work. As you drive by a deserted stretch of road your car just stops, without any warning. You try to restart it, but to no avail. As you get out to open the hood you see a handsome man, his long hair flowing past his shoulders. He stops and asks you if something is wrong, you reply that your car died, and you arent sure why, to which he says "Even death is not the end."
At this point you notice his teeth, it seems that two of them are longer than they should be, your heart starts to race, you almost yell "Who are you!?" To which he replies "I am the one that has watched you from the shadows, everytime you were hurt, I took revenge for you, everytime you fell, I caught you, I am your love, your life, and your future." With this last bit, he steps towards you and lets you see a good look at his fangs, as with a broad smile he says, "The time has come for you to stand with me, not apart from me."
       You are trapped, not sure whether to run away or towards this beautiful man, this stranger that claims he is not a stranger. In a last bid for some form of sanity you ask "What is your name?" To which he replies, "I am called by whatever name you wish" as he takes those few steps that seperate you, the steps that indeed seperate life as you know it from a future you have only dreamed about.
       You aren't sure when, or even if it is your decisin, but suddenly you are in his arms, you move your hair away and tilt your head for him, inviting him to that which you can now plainly see he desires, he needs. You feel him pierce your neck, first a sharp pinch, then the most delicious ecstasy you have ever felt, as you feel him drain the blood from you, knowing that you are giving life, in a way that you never truly thought you could. You feel an orgasim building up inside of you, as it crests like a tidal wave through every part of your body his name comes to you, like the name of a long lost lover.
    "Master, you hear yourself say, "will I dream?". He pulls away, a feeling like your soul is being torn, and says "Dream? Today and every dawn, until you awake each night to take your place beside me, as we hunt". You gather your strength to ask one more question. "Master, do you love me?" "Of course dear child. If I didn't love you, I would have simply killed you." You hear him laugh, and it is like a collection of every erotic moment you have ever experrienced rolled into one incredible sound, indeed, it is the last sound you hear, as your body collapses...



Please share your thoughts, as well as any tales of your own.




bornsynner -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 9:13:11 AM)

very very nice.. looking forward to even more of these.. keep fueling the fire..hehe




Asherdelampyr -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 9:35:01 AM)

I have my moments




RCdc -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 9:39:33 AM)

The words need spacing better, and the paragraphs are poor.  The grammar is adequate, but there is no depth to the writing.  You have not given any time for the reader to identify with the characters.  It lacks emotion.  It is rushed.  Like bad poetry it lacks substance.
Out of 10 I give 3.
 
the.dark.




Asherdelampyr -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 11:14:09 AM)

meh, it makes me happy, thats all that matters




RCdc -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 11:21:28 AM)

Well, other peoples thoughts must have mattered, otherwise you wouldn't ask for them.
But yes, if it makes you happy, that is what matters ultimately.
 
the.dark.




Asherdelampyr -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 11:58:33 AM)

more interested in other tales than thoughts




RCdc -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 12:06:12 PM)

Well, you accepted postive thoughts, but do not want constructive ones?
Well, you asked for thoughts, I gave.
Have a wonderful day.
 
the.dark.




darchChylde -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 12:09:23 PM)

I start by quickly licking the inside of your wrist with the tip of my tongue.  Looking into your eyes, I slowly and gently blow on the now wet skin; watching your spine get a little straighter as the shivers crawl up it.  Then I scratch the same area, just deep enough to leave three red lines rising above the surface.   I gently kiss the offended flesh, allowing my lips to moisten and part slowly.  Firmly grasping your elbow and hand, I open my mouth wider; applying a slight bit of pressure on the somewhat meaty area of your wrist defined by the two bones of your forearm.  Gradually building the pressure, I run the tip of my tongue along the flesh beneath my teeth; after a few moments of your arm, and indeed, your entire body tensing against the mild pain before I start to relax my teeth.  Just as the fist you have my hand wrapped in begins to relax, I start to suck; gently at first, then with greater hunger.  When you start to grasp my hair, your hand had only barely moved; I stop and blow warm air over the area, followed by a blast of cool air to finish drying.  Once more I look into your eyes and enjoy the surprise, confusion, and above all else, desire I find there.  I gently and quickly kiss away the last bit of moisture on the inside of your wrist, my lips alighting on your skin as soft and quick as a butterfly.  Still looking you in the eyes; I smile, baring my teeth in a near feral grin; I rise and slowly walk away as you stand there in shock at my unexpected departure.

Just as I step beyond your sight, you hear a low, rough voice in your head…

Not yet my dear, you are not quite ready... but soon, one step at a time.




Asherdelampyr -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 12:18:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Well, you accepted postive thoughts, but do not want constructive ones?
Well, you asked for thoughts, I gave.
Have a wonderful day.
 
the.dark.
I accepted them, I just dont have anything much to say about them, you are probably right, I never had any sort of formal writing training (beyond High school) so I don't know :P




GreedyTop -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 2:52:09 PM)

Yummy, Asher!   More more!  and  darch..,, liked that one too!!  




KyttynTheMynx -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 2:57:00 PM)

I cant figure out if its the beer making my skin warm, or those writings, but either way, please post more!  I am loving these!




NorthernGent -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 3:11:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr

It's around ten pm, you are driving home from work. As you drive by a deserted stretch of road your car just stops, without any warning. You try to restart it, but to no avail. As you get out to open the hood you see a handsome man, his long hair flowing past his shoulders. He stops and asks you if something is wrong, you reply that your car died, and you arent sure why, to which he says "Even death is not the end."..........



You reply....

Look, I need a hand with my fuckin' car, not an audience with a self promoting undertaker.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr

Please share your thoughts, as well as any tales of your own.



A man walks into a pub with a duck under his arm and a talking frog..............




RCdc -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 3:35:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

A man walks into a pub with a duck under his arm and a talking frog..............


Nooooo NG - its a biscuit tin -
A man walks into a bar with a duck and a cake tin full of candles, he places the tin on the bar and the duck on top, instantly the duck started to dance, the landlord asks if he could buy the duck for £1000 for him
'ok said the man but you must feed him 3 times a day, put him on the biscuit tin and he'll dance.'
The man gets paid, drinks his beer and walks out.
A week later he goes back into the pub and the landlord says -
"Oi - i feed it 3 times aday but it won't dance in front of the wife"
"oh i forgot to tell you that, did you light the candles?

 
the.dark.




NorthernGent -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 3:45:35 PM)

That's the one....isn't he blind and missing an arm, though?




dreamofthemoon -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 3:47:03 PM)

Interesting, indeed, Asher.  *smiles politely*

If i may, here's one of my daydreams/fantasies... i haven't fleshed it out in detail yet, so to speak, but the general emotion/idea is this:

I'm in these gorgeous old cathedral ruins (I'm not sure if it's a Catholic cathedral or gothic-type, but it's cold and dark (well, except for the few chandeliers)... I'm in nothing but a black corset, and kneeling, facing the alter and praying (for some reason, I don't know what for)... I seem to be alone, but suddenly someone comes in, waits a few moments in the shadows, and then he speaks... and then, he takes me, right there on the alter, I think...


dream




RCdc -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 3:58:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

That's the one....isn't he blind and missing an arm, though?

No - but I do know one like that but it's not pc....[8|]
 
the.dark.




NorthernGent -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 4:01:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

That's the one....isn't he blind and missing an arm, though?

No - but I do know one like that but it's not pc....[8|]
 
the.dark.

 
Not for my eyes then, Dark.......I'll go with the undertaker trying to drum up business....."death is not the end".....




RCdc -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 4:10:40 PM)

NG - pssst... I think the audience is a bit dry...
We are 'dying' onstage.
 
the.dark.




IilaStarfire -> RE: Erotic tales (1/17/2008 7:51:10 PM)

MMmmmm delicious! I'll have to certainly post one of my little stories up... Though it may not be that little... We'll just see what I can drum up for the audience. ^_^




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