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ORIGINAL: cloudboy

The genesis of the thread is why and what motivates married men to solicit other females, or in this case, DOMMES. The answer is the unrealistic expectation of lifelong monogamy. Rather than challenge this expectation in their marriages, men simply chose to get around it. This choice, given our societal values, is eminently logical. When pursuing the "getting around it" option, the targeted women are reduced to quick, disposable, and secret fuckbuddies or in the case of the Madonna-Whore paradigm, whores.

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How about both starting and ending a date with the same partner, and staying sober enough to actually remember your date's name for the entire date.

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ORIGINAL: nelbot

I'm sorry to hijack your very interesting thread but I've been holding my tongue a long while- I'm sure I'll say duh when I hear the answer but what does WIITD mean!?!?

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If we can get the Virgin Mary show up here, we can have a miracle, ala Fatima or something.

Funny, finally some comedy relief!
But I think it would be pretty difficult to get either Madonna
to come here and weigh in.

BTF> The closest comment I can make is that MsN likes me to be a good
girl at times, like around family at Xmas, dress down, but does like me sexy
and to let go in the bedroom. Madonna/Whore? It doesn't feel like that to me
it just feels like we both know when it's appropriate to down play and when we love to be adventurous and wild sexually.
I do understand what you are saying though as in regards to some straight men and probably many lesbians, bi's, gays, etc. I just don't see it as being that black and white, stereotypical and easy to define.

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How about both starting and ending a date with the same partner, and staying sober enough to actually remember your date's name for the entire date.

See, that's a good start, and from those small building blocks, you can work up to a lifetime of monogamy in say, twenty or thirty years.

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brightspot
BTF> The closest comment I can make is that MsN likes me to be a good
girl at times, like around family at Xmas, dress down, but does like me sexy
and to let go in the bedroom.
it just feels like we both know when it's appropriate to down play and when we love to be adventurous and wild sexually.
I do understand what you are saying though as in regards to some straight men and probably many lesbians, bi's, gays, etc. I just don't see it as being that black and white, stereotypical and easy to define

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nelbot
I'm sorry to hijack your very interesting thread but I've been holding my tongue a long while- I'm sure I'll say duh when I hear the answer but what does WIITD mean!?!?

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KnightofMists
Many men and women choose to cheat and lie to get the their needs and desires met outside of the convenant of Monogamy. But other options exist, Some choose to end the relationship first, and then move on to a more compatiable partner. Some choose to enter into open or Poly lifestyle. Some just choose to stay in the monogamy relationship and scarificing there needs and desires and not lie or cheat or cause pain to one they love. This isn't a MAN thing... It's a person thing! The sooner people stop putting on the silly labels soley based on sex.. the sooner they will get out of the box the better!

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ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

you can't really believe that you think if we removed the monogamy clause all together that men would all be happy and satisfied with their 3 women...... Humans are never satisfied! It is very much a value system that keeps us from stepping on/hurting/killing the next person just to satisfy our wants/need for more; values coupled with good judgement is what separates us from wild animals. We all want something different sometimes, but since going around phucking anything that moves is not good for social order or our health, we try and find a comfortable relationship where we don't feel like anyone else is invading our property/space.

We definitely disagree on why the Madonna - Whore paradigm exists. I belive it happens with dissociated men who have issues with women/sexuality and feel the need to separate the respectable from the non respectable by cheating and lying to themselves as well as the women. No one here has indicated a problem with men/women who are not monogamous, but honest and open in their relationships.

You are wanting to impose yours as the superior way of looking at relationships but in being so closed to our views you are yourself being narrow while calling us "boxed." So puhleez, it's okay that you know everything about how relationships work/have a chance of survival, but your knowledge does me and the way I live no good.

FYI: I have definitely seen monogamy work, since my parents loved each other for over 20 years before my father passed away. M

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>your knowledge does me and the way I live no good<

Yes, I know, its all about you. Let's not try and understand anything outside of ourselves or our own prejudices.

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Well, this insanity is traceable to monogamy, and not the Madonna - Whore complex. This is axiomatic, and its the whole point of finding fulfillment --- its not a Maddona-Whore divide, that's bullshit.

So, you all are missing the point entirely, IMO.

So, what's really funny, is watching you all get frustrated with the ill side effects and disease of monogamy

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You're right it isn't easy to define why people do the things they do... I'm only speaking of one segment of population I've encountered since saying "I am a domina." I'm just always trying to understand though, the good and the bad..

Yep, I totally understand and I am limited in my knowledge of this certain circumstance.

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ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Women, have you encountered it, and how have you coped? Men do you live two lives, one with the woman you love/reproduce with, and the other with women whom you find sexually exciting?

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ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Pretty defninitive words to me... And I'm the one who is prejudiced!
M[/size]

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now I'm stuck with this mental picture of Caitlyn half naked having an involved discussion with me about medieval studies!

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Like I said, almost everyone has these thoughts, but I think the true measure of a persons character lies in how they handle them.

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seaturtle50
i want to go on record on the following points
1) i could not read this thread past the second page
2) Caitlyn ... mmmm ...
3) i am of the mind that the "Whore" that is within each (most? many? all?) Women is beautiful, powerful and stunning.
4) When a Woman comes to terms with Her inner "Whore," She comes to terms with Her some of Her emmense power

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I can completely understand the need to act appropriately for whatever context a person is in.

I can completely understand a master dictating all behavior and sexual expressions or lack thereof in ANY context for their slave.

What I dislike about the duality of madonna/whore is that it limits who I can be, where I can be that person and suggests that I am divided. In much the same way it would be if you said "submissive in the bedroom but independent on the street."

It's not an either/or for me, it's an "all of me, all the time." And I want to be in a relationship with someone who wants all of me, all the time- not someone who needs to box me into stereotypes to make me simple enough for them to handle.

It also suggests that you cannot be BOTH- that to be a whore is to somehow eliminate the madonna. As we've seen, that leads to all SORTS of problems with self-identity and expression. In my world, the madonna and the whore are one and the same.

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I agree with this, I think problems can occur when both can't be accepted in the one person.
I have been approached by subs who want kinky fun/sex ( nothing wrong with that part) but who don't want to be seen in public with a Domme, some really do think we carry our whips all the time !