Termyn8or
Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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Good response Rainy, why do I call it the other foot ? I say it's a matter of conditioning. Conditioning differs from learning in that it happens via personal experience and anecdotal evidence, many times from elder. Anecdotal evidence can actually be learning, but definition wise learning takes on a much broader scope.
I have worked for one Woman, I actually had a bit of the hots for her, but that is not the point. One day she walks in sporting a bunch of new jewelry, and then the paychecks bounced. I know this is but one example, and is not any sort of solid evedence, but it is definitely empirical. I don't take it as any sort of proof and that was never my assertion. My assertion was that it is something much deeper than the irresponsibility of one Woman. She was thrust upon me as a boss because her soon to be ex got himself into some legal troble and was probably facing a quite large lawsuit, he hit a cop car and caused bodily injury, and since they were getting divorced anyway and fighting for the company, his best decision at the time was to give it to her.
So he started another company and I worked for her. Now had I gone to the initial interview and interacted with her, I know in my mind that I would've handled it differently. Why ? Well I guess that is the question.
I have almost never failed to get a job for which I applied, but an interview directly with the owner of the company, if she be a Woman how differently would I handle it ? One of my "plays" in an interview is to ask "What is your worst, most nagging nasty problem right now ?". That's the part I would have played differently. I probably would've played on it more heavily to be seen as more of a leader, and I think likely would be offered the position of a working manager, which I would refuse.
However my current position is coming dangerously close to that, and though I work for a Man, I can see what would be termed non-manly thinking in him, no matter how rough and gruff his exterior. He reacts to bitchy customers and changes the work schedule so much that things are a mess. Then I hear "There are units here for three months untouched". As if it were my fault. I have told him more than once that this is why we have to go by dates. To me, that is not manly thinking on his part. What's more he makes promises that I must keep. Though I do appreciate his respect for my judgement, like I tell him that we do have everything we need to complete the job, he is scheduling delivery before the job is done, and this job is not like changing the oil in your car. There are many many unforseeable things that could jam it up. He has been in business for over thirty years and seems not to have learned this.
So I term this unmanly thinking, which could be the misnomer of the century I guess. However in my capacity as a terminator I guess, I think the time is coming when I am going to walk in there and say "We are going by dates now, give me all the tickets for my work". Once you start going by dates and keep going by dates business runs alot better. I have learned this in my thirty years experience in this business, why hasn't he learned in his forty ? Because he is reactive.
That is something I consider effeminate. Why ? That is the whole question. There is no reason at all that a Woman cannot engage in what I term "manly" thining. Regardless of small differences in brain chemistry or whatever, and physical differences do not matter in this regard, why not ?
My Mother could probably run the pants off him in that business (actually he would probably drop his pants because even at 68 she has retained quite a bit of her good looks). She can do manly thinking and did get to near executive level without being part of the the old boy network or a degree.
So living in this day and age, it is plain to see even for a dinosaur like me that there are more and more Women and less and less Men who can do this manly thinking. Perhaps a simple change in terminology and evlybody vill be happy now ? I think not. Even as politically correct as it can be, it simply obscures the issue.
And we all obscure the issue. As fair as we can be in life, I have prefernces, as do we all. Admit it, at least to yourself. I want a Woman who has always been a female. I do not want a Black, Hispanic, Uranian or crackhead, liberal or stupid Woman. It is not a matter of looking down upon others, it is a matter of who I think I could hook up with in any meaningful way. I can no more change these tendencies that a homosexual could go straight.
A homo named J, a councilman in fact, we did probably eighty grand worth of work on his house and we knew him too. Sometimes the workday is over and he gets home, we put down our hammers and he can lax up and cool down from his day's work, which he actually did before he became a councilman lol.
Many days we would sit down with a beer and discuss how the work was going and all that, but being friends also discussed other things. Homosexuality came around, and none of us is afraid of any subject, just how my crowd is I guess. I will not forget what he said and I will not put quotes on it because it is not an exact quote, it is from memory and many years ago, but I think I captured the spirit of it alive. Thus :
Noone would choose this. You are picked on at school, fucked with and all that. You are "eased" out of your military carreer (he had been Colin Powell's personal chef actually, gawd that guy can cook) and then people always kinda worry about you. Look, we are not out to recruit your kids, we are not out to recruit anyone. When I see a hot girl I am not excited, when I see a hot guy I am. What the fuck do you want me to do ? I am the way I am, I DID NOT choose this.
Like I said this is not a direct quote, it is more a synopsis of the conversation that followed. On that day I learned something, before that I thought of homosexuality as succumbing to an addiction like. I considered it a weakness. After that of course life continued to happen. I started to reconsider every prejudice I had, and I changed. Or did I ?
In Freudian terms, I could be exercising my super ego to compel myself to do what it takes to get along. But what of monsters from the id ? (ala the movie Forbidden Planet)
Indeed metaphorically, when we change our opinion and decide we like someone, does that change our first impression ? Of course not, it can't.
Still wish me dead ? Think I am just hemming and hawing ? Just curious.
T
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RE: Man/Woman equality from a different perspective - 
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