The Thrill of the Hunt

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LadyAngelika -> The Thrill of the Hunt (11/25/2009 6:13:55 PM)
I took a hiatus from online BDSM communities for about 4 years, but that doesn't mean I took a hiatus from being the dominant, sadistic woman that I am. For a good part of that time I was in a relationship with a kinky man that I found outside the BDSM community. In fact, he knew almost nothing about it. I made him discover it, I became his Lady, his Queen. It was lovely while it lasted and I hold good memories. I've come back to these forums because in the past they've been very helpful in helping me figure things out. But having a profile on collarme has reconfirmed something that I've felt since the very beginning. It is very unlikely that I'll find the perfect boy for me on this site (or any similar site). The reason is simple. The men on this site, for the most part, are too submissive from the get-go. I'm a huntress. In my career, in my studies, in my life, I go after what I want. My friends who know nothing of my explorations in WIITWD are always referring to me as the woman in charge, the woman who sets her goal on something and gets it, the woman who can intimidate just about any man. And they are right. There are a few men who I don't intimidate and they happen to be the ones that I want. How twisted is that?! But I don't want to intimidate them, but rather I want to captivate them, to influence and dominate by my charm and the possibility of discovering a whole kinky world to make their heads spin. There is a part of me that wants to initiate them to this, make them discover it. So you can imagine that when a boy sends me an email about all the things that professional dommes have done to them or of all the things they've seen in porn and how they will do anything to have me use them and fulfil their fantasies, the thrill of the hunt is gone. I'm not suggesting that all Dominant women approach WIITWD this way, I wonder how many other women feel something similar. - LA

PeonForHer -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/25/2009 6:26:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika. The men on this site, for the most part, are too submissive from the get-go. Really . . .? The common complaint is that we're not submissive enough. quote: There are a few men who I don't intimidate and they happen to be the ones that I want. - LA Nope . . . I can't say it. Somebody else will have to say it.

LadyPact -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/25/2009 6:28:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika So you can imagine that when a boy sends me an email about all the things that professional dommes have done to them or of all the things they've seen in porn and how they will do anything to have me use them and fulfil their fantasies, the thrill of the hunt is gone. I'm not suggesting that all Dominant women approach WIITWD this way, I wonder how many other women feel something similar. - LA Oh, trust Me. The 'thrill' is gone for most of us when we receive such things. Quickest way for anybody out there to get blocked by Me.

Eivarden -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/25/2009 6:30:36 PM)
I originally thought that was the part most fun about being Domme, little did I know it wasn't usually like that. I know there still are Dommes here just like you, but either they are rare, or avoid CM.

LadyAngelika -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/25/2009 7:05:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika. The men on this site, for the most part, are too submissive from the get-go. Really . . .? The common complaint is that we're not submissive enough. Well... true, perhaps they are too overt in their desire to be submissive in the way that they've cooked it up in their head... does that make sense? quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: There are a few men who I don't intimidate and they happen to be the ones that I want. - LA Nope . . . I can't say it. Somebody else will have to say it. Why not? - LA

LadyAngelika -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/25/2009 7:08:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Eivarden I originally thought that was the part most fun about being Domme, little did I know it wasn't usually like that. Please explain this further. I'm not sure I understand what it is that you mean. quote: ORIGINAL: Eivarden I know there still are Dommes here just like you, but either they are rare, or avoid CM. Well that was part of the reason for my 4 year hiatus. - LA

PeonForHer -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/25/2009 7:28:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika. The men on this site, for the most part, are too submissive from the get-go. Really . . .? The common complaint is that we're not submissive enough. Well... true, perhaps they are too overt in their desire to be submissive in the way that they've cooked it up in their head... does that make sense? I give up, Lady A. I can't speak for other subs - I have enough trouble understanding myself. quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: There are a few men who I don't intimidate and they happen to be the ones that I want. - LA Nope . . . I can't say it. Somebody else will have to say it. quote: Why not? I can't help having a hunch that if you're bothered that you intimidate the men in your milieu, you could easily find other men who aren't intimidated - even sub men. But I also think that you probably know this. So I'm guessing that you have a conflict: one part likes intimidating; one part likes a challenge from those who aren't intimidated by you . . .

Underumam -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/25/2009 7:32:18 PM)
It's not kill- it's the thrill of the chill.........lol.

LadyAngelika -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/25/2009 7:52:29 PM)
quote: I can't help having a hunch that if you're bothered that you intimidate the men in your milieu, you could easily find other men who aren't intimidated - even sub men. But I also think that you probably know this. So I'm guessing that you have a conflict: one part likes intimidating; one part likes a challenge from those who aren't intimidated by you . . . I'm not bothered that I intimidate men in my milieu. That is just the way things happen. I simply find it refreshing and exciting and challenging when I meet one that I don't.

AAkasha -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/25/2009 11:48:05 PM)
Well, between this and the hockey thing, it's clear we were separated at birth, LadyAngelika. A huge part of the lust/satisfaction I get from domination is the rush from seeing a man surrender to my desires, despite his own fear, discomfort, shame or vulnerability. While this CAN be accomplished with a full-blown "wired submissive," I just have found, in my experience, it's somehow easier to obtain from joe blow vanilla who sees kink and submission as a bit foreign, frightening, but so worth it because he likes to see what it does to me. The drawback with these men, though, is they have a lower threshold I have found, and, they don't understand that kink isn't just something "I do," it is part of "who I am." A full blown submissive understands this need because he feels it himself. I have often wondered if my inclination/attraction toward these "non-sub" types is just a result of having dominated so many vanilla guys before discovering the world of organized S&M via web sites like this, fetish parties and whatnot. As soon as I was old enough to figure out boys didn't have cooties, I was trying to get a handle on how I could get them to submit to my urges for bondage and suffering -- and I spent many nervous, excited nights trying to explain to a vanilla boyfriend how he needed to surrender to me, and then I learned that seduction was the key. The act of being a predatory, lustful, seductive, mysterious cruel woman was pure nirvana for me. Finding out how to "take down" a guy was delicious and exciting. Submissives, while "too easy" on some level, have shown me one very important thing: A submissive who is patient, playful, sexy and possesses a knack for empathy is far more rewarding to dominate than an unsuspecting but alluring vanilla prey. But those are so, so hard to find; whereas vanilla men are more accessible - those who appreciate and are willing/open minded to surrender, and possess authentic fear and uneasiness and also need to be seduced and bent to my will are absolutely captivating to control. But they either "get it" and are wonderfully easy to cultivate, or they "don't get it" and they have limitations that frustrate both of us. Akasha

JustStephen -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/26/2009 5:07:43 AM)
Hi LadyAngelika, I totally understand what your saying. In general I find submissive men on the scene too overly generous with their submission from the start and I have to say that, that turns my head. The reason I tend to go for fem subs is they don't just fall at your feet at the drop of a pin, they tend to be a lot more picky and you really do have to dominate them well to receive any appreciation!! I look on the scene for males because I can't be bothered to go through a lengthy grooming process before a vanilla man would 'perhaps' consider taking my pain or go through an emotional process and perhaps not be able to accept that I will lead him but I do tend to go for the male subs that have a more 'I can take it or leave it' attitude. I certainly don't go after the guys that will do 'anything' so long as I want it. Like you I want to capture and enslave them and not have a ready made one. I must also add though that I don't particularly enjoy the thrill of the hunt. The thrill of chasing and capturing his submission is different and of course I enjoy that but the hunting I find tedious. Maria on Stephens profile [:)]

Underumam -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/26/2009 6:10:46 AM)
I've been thinking a bit about this one overnight, as something was bugging me about this topic in general. The best way to describe it would be the "label" of a sub or even a Dominant for that matter. Not just within this community, but in most all walks of life in general, there's what I call a trend of false images that people are desperately trying to fit into. Labels are intended to describe someone or something, so others can easily group or classify them. Put them into a box so to speak. I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE BEING BOXED. For example- I am a submissive, plain and simple. While I function in my worldy affairs as an alpha type, it's only out of need, not desire. Yet I crave/need to be submissive to the Domina in my life the rest of the time. I glady choose the label submissive because it describes me very well. However, I have taken the time and had the good fortune of spending time with others who helped me find my true self(in all ways-not just lifestyle), and the label is just s description of who/what my prime orientation truly is. Not all facets of me are submissive, and I have yet to meet a Dominant who is 100% dominant all the time as well. My point is that while many of us in this lifestyle know ourselves and have had enough exposure to correctly label ourselves, many out there in so-called vanilla land have not. Isn't it true that most everyone in the entire world will be orientated towards one or the other, and most simply have not defined themselves as such? Whether or not they wear the label of submissive or not, changes nothing regarding the true orientation of the inner person. After many years of being the out-of-balance, dominant force in business, industry and the home, many(not all) men are quite simply getting tired of having to take the lead in everything from business to sex, choosing the best home to live in, or even choosing the best wine tat we imagine will taste the best to others at the dinner table. Society has dictated this to us, thus putting some of us into the precarious situation of not functioning in accordance to our true inner nature. I believe this also applies to females. In other words, most all of us have in one way or another been forced to wear a false label, and have never been afforded the opportunity to step out of it in any way as it was deemed a sign of weakness. I see many times where deep inside most males(including myself)- lies the need to humble and submit to his woman on some levels, yet the boxes we have been placed in will not allow us to do so without being judged or ostricized to some extent. This can even lead to losing ones career/ marriage/ social position, so many simply choose the path of least resistance, and continue accepting the roles others have chose for them, which is basically-- lying to themselves. In short, each person has not only the right, but the responsibility to know themselves, and to present their TRUE selves to the world as much as possible. I call this personal integrity. Yet many are constantly trying to fit into a box that others choose for them, as opposed to finding a box/label that will fit them. The label shouldn't make the man, yet the man should make the label. Many will opt for the label submissive or Dominant simply because of the sexual images and fantasies attached to it, with little to no regard for the correctness of its description.....They have remained indolent in matters concerning self-realization, and unknowingly portray yet another mis-representation or lie. Most of society is now false as a result............... So, Lady Angelika, Your situation does not suprise me, as there are a great many truly submissive men in the vanilla world who have not been labeled as such, and it seems that You enjoy searching them out, and "assisting" them in finding their true inner nature. It seems that the most rewarding situations for You, are the ones that help vanilla men find their true inner selves and this is something that I see as a service to society, not a curse. Self-realization is the only way for us humans to get out of the pathetic mess we've collectively created for ourselves. When a man learns to express his true submission to a woman, this new-found freedom will trickle over into everything in his life. He will find a newfound respect for his mother/wife/grandmother and even his own daughter. A daughter who is respected and loved by her father will seek out the same later in life, and will inevitably pass this on to her children and so on.... Power will slowly be returned to those who IMO, are truly more capable to have the final say-so in matters that concern the hearth and home. Life will slowly become good again...... Thanks to You and others who have helped us to break the chains of worldy bondage, and substitute them with the chains of this lifestyle. We are all much happier now. lol.

JustStephen -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/26/2009 9:08:39 AM)
I enjoyed reading most of your post Underumam but I can't agree with this.... quote: ORIGINAL: Underumam My point is that while many of us in this lifestyle know ourselves and have had enough exposure to correctly label ourselves, many out there in so-called vanilla land have not. Isn't it true that most everyone in the entire world will be orientated towards one or the other, and most simply have not defined themselves as such? Whether or not they wear the label of submissive or not, changes nothing regarding the true orientation of the inner person. If only life were so simple. Do you really believe that if your not a closet Dominant your a closet submissive? Are you saying that if a vanilla is neither sub nor Dom then they are in denial? I think its a very, very small percentage of society that even think about this sort of route and an even smaller percentage that think about it and do something about it. When I go out shopping on a Saturday afternoon and a man smilingly stands back and opens a door for me, I don't inwardly grin and think 'I bet he's a submissive' because the chances are he's just being a gentleman and has never so much as had a fantasy about bowing down before a woman. I don't think we should fall into this illusion that everyone is at it.... really they aren't. If you find a vanilla man that you can end up blindfolding and tying to the bed then great but the chances are he's just looking at it as a bit of kinky fun because if he had ever had any deeper desires than that then he would of googled that fantasy and discovered that theres a whole community out here that may, just may be able to give him what he wants. and this... quote: You, are the ones that help vanilla men find their true inner selves and this is something that I see as a service to society, not a curse. Self-realization is the only way for us humans to get out of the pathetic mess we've collectively created for ourselves. When a man learns to express his true submission to a woman, this new-found freedom will trickle over into everything in his life. He will find a newfound respect for his mother/wife/grandmother and even his own daughter. A daughter who is respected and loved by her father will seek out the same later in life, and will inevitably pass this on to her children and so on.... Power will slowly be returned to those who IMO, are truly more capable to have the final say-so in matters that concern the hearth and home. Life will slowly become good again...... Now if you had talked about the single guy then I may of gone along with some of this but the reality is that an already married man that discovers his submission will be ultimately unhappy with his vanilla wife and the final solution for many is to split the family. If his wife doesn't agree to any of it then he will perhaps go behind her back and going behind someones back does not give one a sense of freedom, it gives them a sense of imprisonment. Maria on Stephens profile

Underumam -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/26/2009 9:24:02 AM)
I was only expressing my opinion. I didn't call anyone a closet-anything. lol. I'm not referring to married/single either. Just humanity in general. There seem to be two basic persuasions and gray areas in-between the two extremes. Whether one knows, or even cares which side of the fence they're on isn't really the issue of my post. I appreciate your honesty and input, however, I was just offering another way of interpreting the op's post in a more positive light. No matter what- these sure are very interesting times we live in......

stripmymanhood -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/26/2009 9:36:26 AM)
Lady Angelika, Some people need to be hunted....some need to be the hunter...some just pray things fall in their lap...i am open about my desire to submit, but at the same time...i don't give my submission to just anyone...and perhaps that's part of what you're looking for also...to capture a male who isn't ready to just give up his submission too easily...for sub/slave mens here, it's a damned if you do, damned if you odn't kind of situation...for some, we're too out there, for others, if we don't put ourselves way out there...we'd get ignored....personally...i'd rather be ignored than seem overeager...though there are surely times i seem that way...overeager that is...given the places i want to go...i guess its' only reasonable i don't put it out there for one and all..though as i'm reading this...i seem to be making this more about me than you...oops.... If you wish to hunt...then hunt...you will find the one you want...as i remember you (we used to talk when i used a different name a few yrs back - sting516)...you know what you want...and you always seemed passionate enough to me to get what you want...i wish you the best of luck...and your prey will be very fortunate indeed! quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika I took a hiatus from online BDSM communities for about 4 years, but that doesn't mean I took a hiatus from being the dominant, sadistic woman that I am. For a good part of that time I was in a relationship with a kinky man that I found outside the BDSM community. In fact, he knew almost nothing about it. I made him discover it, I became his Lady, his Queen. It was lovely while it lasted and I hold good memories. I've come back to these forums because in the past they've been very helpful in helping me figure things out. But having a profile on collarme has reconfirmed something that I've felt since the very beginning. It is very unlikely that I'll find the perfect boy for me on this site (or any similar site). The reason is simple. The men on this site, for the most part, are too submissive from the get-go. I'm a huntress. In my career, in my studies, in my life, I go after what I want. My friends who know nothing of my explorations in WIITWD are always referring to me as the woman in charge, the woman who sets her goal on something and gets it, the woman who can intimidate just about any man. And they are right. There are a few men who I don't intimidate and they happen to be the ones that I want. How twisted is that?! But I don't want to intimidate them, but rather I want to captivate them, to influence and dominate by my charm and the possibility of discovering a whole kinky world to make their heads spin. There is a part of me that wants to initiate them to this, make them discover it. So you can imagine that when a boy sends me an email about all the things that professional dommes have done to them or of all the things they've seen in porn and how they will do anything to have me use them and fulfil their fantasies, the thrill of the hunt is gone. I'm not suggesting that all Dominant women approach WIITWD this way, I wonder how many other women feel something similar. - LA

LadyPact -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/26/2009 11:50:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JustStephen I enjoyed reading most of your post Underumam but I can't agree with this.... quote: ORIGINAL: Underumam My point is that while many of us in this lifestyle know ourselves and have had enough exposure to correctly label ourselves, many out there in so-called vanilla land have not. Isn't it true that most everyone in the entire world will be orientated towards one or the other, and most simply have not defined themselves as such? Whether or not they wear the label of submissive or not, changes nothing regarding the true orientation of the inner person. If only life were so simple. Do you really believe that if your not a closet Dominant your a closet submissive? Are you saying that if a vanilla is neither sub nor Dom then they are in denial? I think its a very, very small percentage of society that even think about this sort of route and an even smaller percentage that think about it and do something about it. When I go out shopping on a Saturday afternoon and a man smilingly stands back and opens a door for me, I don't inwardly grin and think 'I bet he's a submissive' because the chances are he's just being a gentleman and has never so much as had a fantasy about bowing down before a woman. I don't think we should fall into this illusion that everyone is at it.... really they aren't. If you find a vanilla man that you can end up blindfolding and tying to the bed then great but the chances are he's just looking at it as a bit of kinky fun because if he had ever had any deeper desires than that then he would of googled that fantasy and discovered that theres a whole community out here that may, just may be able to give him what he wants. and this... quote: You, are the ones that help vanilla men find their true inner selves and this is something that I see as a service to society, not a curse. Self-realization is the only way for us humans to get out of the pathetic mess we've collectively created for ourselves. When a man learns to express his true submission to a woman, this new-found freedom will trickle over into everything in his life. He will find a newfound respect for his mother/wife/grandmother and even his own daughter. A daughter who is respected and loved by her father will seek out the same later in life, and will inevitably pass this on to her children and so on.... Power will slowly be returned to those who IMO, are truly more capable to have the final say-so in matters that concern the hearth and home. Life will slowly become good again...... Now if you had talked about the single guy then I may of gone along with some of this but the reality is that an already married man that discovers his submission will be ultimately unhappy with his vanilla wife and the final solution for many is to split the family. If his wife doesn't agree to any of it then he will perhaps go behind her back and going behind someones back does not give one a sense of freedom, it gives them a sense of imprisonment. Maria on Stephens profile I have to agree with Maria. I don't believe that the only options available are the ones that we've created within the context of BDSM or Dominance and submission. I honestly believe that vanilla is where many people find themselves content. Just like I happen to believe straight really is what some people are, rather than falling somewhere in various places of "bi" in the Kinsey scale. In My personal opinion, it is just as ok to accept that there are vanilla people in the world because they have no desire to be anything else, just as it is to accept that some kinky folks wouldn't want to be anything else, either.

PeonForHer -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/26/2009 12:02:32 PM)
The act of being a predatory, lustful, seductive, mysterious cruel woman was pure nirvana for me. Finding out how to "take down" a guy was delicious and exciting. Wow. See, I'd have loved to have met a woman who was like you were. And I'd have given her the challenge, too - not because I could see that's what she wanted, but because it'd have been exciting for me, too. Something like, "I have a sub-nature, but let's see you how well you can switch it on."

Underumam -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/26/2009 4:20:47 PM)
lol. But you're not a nilla..^^^^^

PeonForHer -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/26/2009 4:40:26 PM)
lol. But you're not a nilla..^^^^^ Some of me is. All of me is likely to act that way, too - till I meet 'Her' with a huge capital 'H'. When I do, she won't get a challenge from me, but she will get a frigging good dance. [;)]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: The Thrill of the Hunt (11/26/2009 5:50:35 PM)
I could say, "Welcome to My world," LadyAngelika, but you know the story as well as I do! As it turns out, I have met playmates and friends on the internet, but honestly I consider that good timing as much as anything. I am not going to say that the men on the other side are "not submissive enough", but that they are not submissive AT ALL. What many many of them are is what fetlife calls "Kinksters". I love that word!! So accurate, so non pejorative, so broad in spectrum! I truly wish that CM would broaden their list of personal descriptors to at least include "top" and "bottom", so much time might be saved for us all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a bedroom bottom. Wouldn't it be grand if all those men who think that "oral service" equals submission would hook up with all those women ([8D]) who agree? Yeah, okay, fantasy time. [;)] Somewhere out there the submissive men who have passive demeanors were in a thread about how we femdoms have to freakin decide what we want, and we can't all have alphas! Well, hard cheese. I want what I want, and I do NOT do well with passive, shy, diffident people. Yes, I am not desirous of prey that exposes its neck on the first date! I expect to be challenged, tested, examined, in the same way that I will be challenging him or her. Am I am good dominant? Mostly. That does not mean that I am everyone's good dominant. Hmph.

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