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RE: To all with an online submissive? - 10/12/2004 6:52:45 AM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
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From: Scotland/Tennessee
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*whew* Being the ludite that I am, I thought maybe I had to upgrade or something.

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RE: To all with an online submissive? - 10/12/2004 9:07:30 AM

DiamondDiva

Posts: 266
Joined: 10/10/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I am on the same/opposite side of Sub4Hire {Gloria} after reading the post I would not want to have a Sub in cyberspace. I am a very hands on {no pun intended

} Domme and the feel of a keyboard does not work for me.

However, I am not knocking those who can do the internet thing.

Diamond Diva

(in reply to sub4hire)

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Post #: 42

RE: To all with an online submissive? - 10/12/2004 8:48:22 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Posts: 736
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline *whew* Being the ludite that I am,

That would be "Luddite" and as a computer engineer of 21 years, the people who
developed this philosophy are considered by me to be dieties of the same level as
Monty Python, Douglas Adams, etc.

Sinergy

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Post #: 43

RE: To all with an online submissive? - 10/20/2004 1:29:45 AM

Zensee

Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

This thread is addressed "To all with an online submissive" - yet there was a rush of people who just had to come in especially to dis online relationships. The thread didn't ask those folks "do you think online relationships are valid?" it asked "if you have an online relationship, how do you punish your sub"?

I enjoy both 'real' and 'virtual' icecream. They are each distinct and delightful - I have yet to confuse them.

I also variously enjoy and don't enjoy a host of subjects raised in these forums. I try not to enter a discussion on a topic I dislike merely to scrunch my nose and go "ewwwww...." Don't confuse an invitation to join an open topic of discussion with an excuse to express disdain.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zensee

*Watches with curiosity, the people who have entered the Icecream Parlour and are now crowding the Icecream Counter bitching about how much they hate Icecream and how much contempt they have for people who DO like Icecream but advising the objects of their contempt on what toppings to get.*

When I enter an ice cream shop I expect to get the full treatment from the product I pay for -

...flavor, smell, the crunch of the cone, the feeling as it melts in my mouth - and, even the ability to experience the dreaded "Brain Freeze" on occasion.

Don't confuse spending time exchanging ideas through a medium of communication with 'living a full life'.

It pales in comparrison.
~J

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Post #: 44

RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/7/2006 6:57:51 AM

Samwhiplash

Posts: 191
Joined: 10/5/2005
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Zensee.... I couldnt agree with you more.

I am currently searching the boards for tasks/training ideas for my online sub (im not a new Mistress.... but definitely new to online/ldr). I had originally been toying with putting up my own post asking for other people's already enjoyed ideas... but after reading some of the replies people get being shot down... I decided against it.

I take part in many boards like this one... bt so far have found too many people on here to be too judgemental and not just being helpful when it was ideas that was asked for.... not condescending advice.

(in reply to Zensee)

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Post #: 45

RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/7/2006 7:19:40 AM

texasbutterfly

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/17/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zensee

It's very easy for it to all be fake but when the control is real and the submission is real, it's as real as in the flesh. Submission and Domination are states of being, not physical places.

i would agree with this. i am in an online training relationship right now as that is all that i can do at this time. it is real for me, i have given up that control. it takes honesty and open communication. it doesn't hurt if you can totally buy into the mind game either...

as for punishment...i haven't had any of that yet, but i am sure it is coming. i would think him ignoring me would be one of the hardest things to deal with. i email all the time...to cut off communication would be like cutting out a part of me and just leaving it behind.

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Post #: 46

RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/7/2006 8:11:56 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
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My issue with online S&M is that it is perfect. Making a relationship work in real life rquires that you deal with partners who snore when they sleep, forget to brush their teeth, get moody, leave clothes on the kitchen floor, etc It is like people who go on first dates all the time but once they find the other person isn't perfect dump them and go on to the next. Real people have issues, and so does real life and playing online isn't just fantasy it is destructive fantasy.

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Post #: 47

RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/7/2006 8:23:16 AM

texasbutterfly

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/17/2006
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CrappyDom, while i agree with you that online is not the best solution, for me at this point, it is my only solution. my online relationship is not perfect. i make mistakes and i want more than i can currently have.

as far as fantasy vs destructive fantasy, i am getting to learn a few things about myself that i didn't know. how will i react when i finally get to have a real face to face? i don't know, but i look forward to that time. online is not a permanent place for me but it is a starting point.

please accept my apologies if i have come across antagonistically. that is not my intention. i am new at this and still learning the protocol.

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Post #: 48

RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/7/2006 9:00:40 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: INSIDEYOURMIND

. If I spank you, I want my hand to sting as much as your ass, I want to feel my hands in your hair, I want to see the look in your eyes, I want to smell the sweat coming off your body, I want to taste you! (I think I need a cold shower after that)
!

that kind of made me need a cold shower too!

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

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RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/7/2006 9:06:11 AM

sublizzie

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I started out doing on-line and it met a need at the moment. But it didn't take too long before I realized I needed someone who was there with me. But it was a good place for me to start. If nothing else it proved to me that I really did need a Dominant in my life, preferrably one who was local.

(in reply to texasbutterfly)

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RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/7/2006 9:10:46 AM

texasbutterfly

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/17/2006
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thanks sublizzie. that is how i feel as well. maybe someday i will be able to express myself as eloquently as others on these boards, yourself included.

right now, i just look forward to each new experience be it online or real time. it is an exciting time for me and i have to keep reminding myself to be patient.

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Post #: 51

RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/7/2006 9:13:55 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
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I agree that withholding attn is a very effective form of punishment for an online/cyber based reltionship...as would be assigned essays.
that being said...i also agree with many of those who posted that a relationship wholly based on online interaction is not a relationship that i would choose....for myself.
that being said.......

quote]ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Well, before the mass flaming and flogging begin, we just wanted to let you know you have at least two people who agree with you. We agree "to each his/her own", but we consider on-line domination or submission to be just masturbation called by another name.
[/quote]

Mercnbeth...i always enjoy the knowledge and insight y'all bring to threads ....but....why does masturbation get such a bad rap????

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RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/8/2006 4:04:46 PM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

....but....why does masturbation get such a bad rap????

LMAO. i like you.

Back to the thread.. don't most people that have online contact also have some opportunity to get together offline as well? even if it's only a few times a year, that should allow for some time for the rubber to meet the road.

Also, phone time-- with free nights and weekends-- unless your partner is in a combat zone, there is a good chance you can spend 6 or more hours connected over a weekend, as long as the battery lives. Want to know how one acts when bored, frustrated or uncomfortable, try 5 hours with a phone stuck your ear. As long as that time isn't wasted discussing faux-scening instead of real life daily issues, there is a good chance you'll have the opportunity to have real time fights as well.

Watch a movie together by phone, comment on it, note which scenes make your partner go quiet, which actors they like, which lines they can quote later.. Read portions of books to each other, share your local newspaper.. do the things a couple might do on any Sunday afternoon. Find life together and you don't need to cyber-scene and cyber-punish.

Anyway, as far as punishments, very few real punishments in a real-time D/s couple are done using corporal.. use the same things that work for live face to face couples. Discussing behavior that isn't pleasing, why it isn't, what the goals of the relationship are, and evaluating if the relationship is working that way or should be abandoned is plenty of *punishment* in most cases. Even with cpls that do spank for correction, the real work is done in the discussion, not the welts.

The idea is to correct behavior and end up with pleasing companionship, so "pinch yourself for your webcam" doesn't really bring that about anyway. Spend the time online in other modes and drop trying to cyber scene in anyway, and you'll have a more productive relationship, IMHO.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

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RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/9/2006 12:34:28 AM

gloriousangel

Posts: 361
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: West Midlands
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when I had a online dom. I had to find something very big to put up me and let him watch me as I squirmed in pain. Now I have a real life master I dont have this one anymore as it is wrong for me to disrespect him

(in reply to sub4hire)

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RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/10/2006 8:02:05 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveredflame

hi
i am 33 male slave seeking Domnate Mistress
i am very submissive and obedient
i prefer to serve as a slave-husband meaning i am being married to my Mistress also i may try to be a a male slave owned by a Master if i find a Master Who want to use me

Good for you. . .

Now take that where it matters.

Best,

LaMalinche

(in reply to slaveredflame)

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Post #: 55

RE: To all with an on line submissive? - 5/10/2006 8:12:36 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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one thing that is effective and is a bitch (and you can monitor) is to make the sub type every word capitalized except the honorifics....or restrict honerifics all together and make them refer to you as you real name or pumkin....it does not sound like much but it works wonders reinforcing what a special energy you share and how much it sucks when one person does not honor it.

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RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/10/2006 9:19:34 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: southerndom21

If you have to how do you punish a sub online? i cant really think of any ways a sub/slave can be punished so i would like to know what all of you do if you have an online sub. thank you.

Sorry to me the biggest punishment for an online sub would be remaining an online sub.

There are just some things that a sub can't learn without hands on education.

(in reply to southerndom21)

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RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/10/2006 9:29:10 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
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This AIM conversation I had with my subbie as we sat ten feet apart at different computers pretty much says it all.

Subbie (from a computer about ten feet away from mine, as we both work on various projects) Hi Snuggly!
Me: Well hello, handsome stranger. Wanna have hot cybersex with me while my boyfriend’s not looking?
Subbie: Sure
Subbie: What are you wearing?
Me: As I'm typing this, I'm naked except for some really tight Spandex lingerie (He can see me, and I’m still in my normal work clothes.)
Subbie: oooh sexy :-)
Me): What are you wearing?
Subbie: absolutely nothing (He’s in his regular work clothes too.)
Subbie: it's just me and my 11 inch cock (er, those are not his measurements)
Me: Wow. Are you stroking your 11 inch cock right now?
Subbie: of course, with both hands while I type to you (not!)
Me: Cool. I really value honesty and sincerity in a partner, just so you know. (As we both type things we aren’t doing, giggling madly at our respective keyboards.)
Subbie: Me 2!!
Me): So do you like to get kinky?
Subbie: umm...like with car batteries and barbed wire? Sure!
Me: Well, a real sub must take anything a real dom dishes out, so I use barbed wire all the time for bondage and stuff
Subbie: Okay
Subbie: I like to kneel naked on broken glass for hours at a time too
Me: Oh good. I'm a real dom so I'll make you do that every night
Me: Forehead branding ok with you?
Me: On the first date?
Subbie: Sure! But we have to talk for 2 minutes first so I can get to completely know you. K?
Me: frowns. Real subs can't make demands like that. You must be punished now
Subbie: :-( okay
Me: Let's see, I want you to go and get the biggest vegetable in your refrigerator and stick it up your ass with no lube
Subbie: All I have are tomatoes...but they're not really vegetables. They're fruits you know...
Me: OK, do that right now. Are you doing it?
Subbie: yes...I have shoved 6 tomatoes up my bum (as I sit there watching him type, fully clothed)
Me: Very good. Now follow that up with a whole bottle of salad dressing
Subbie: ranch, bleu cheese, thousand island, Italian, vinaigrette, or cucumber wasabi?
Me: Wow, you have a nice selection in the fridge. Cucumber wasabi sounds good, that should sting.
Subbie: not as much as the 8 inch cactus I put in there before the tomatoes
Me: Hey, I didn't tell you to put a cactus there. Are you talking to other doms?
Subbie: no.…
Me: Just itchy hemorrhoids?
Subbie: I was anticipating your next desire
Me: Good boy. You will make a perfect submissive. Now Real Slaves (TM) are not allowed to own any property so you will have to sign over your house and bank account to Me before we meet
Subbie: Ok
Subbie: just checking, or also savings, IRAs, 401k plans, CDs, stock portfolios, Mutual Funds, wads of 100 dollar bills, hidden in a fake beer can in the back of the fridge, gold bullion buried in the backyard, and coin collections too?
Me: Of course.

Online D/s can be effective if both parties are truly committed to being sincere and honest, but frankly those commodities are in somewhat scarce supply on the random playing field of the Internet.

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

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RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/11/2006 2:00:20 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

oh god I laughed so hard tears are welling in my eyes!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

This AIM conversation I had with my subbie as we sat ten feet apart at different computers pretty much says it all.

Subbie (from a computer about ten feet away from mine, as we both work on various projects) Hi Snuggly!
Me: Well hello, handsome stranger. Wanna have hot cybersex with me while my boyfriend’s not looking?
Subbie: Sure
Subbie: What are you wearing?
Me: As I'm typing this, I'm naked except for some really tight Spandex lingerie (He can see me, and I’m still in my normal work clothes.)
Subbie: oooh sexy :-)
Me): What are you wearing?
Subbie: absolutely nothing (He’s in his regular work clothes too.)
Subbie: it's just me and my 11 inch cock (er, those are not his measurements)
Me: Wow. Are you stroking your 11 inch cock right now?
Subbie: of course, with both hands while I type to you (not!)
Me: Cool. I really value honesty and sincerity in a partner, just so you know. (As we both type things we aren’t doing, giggling madly at our respective keyboards.)
Subbie: Me 2!!
Me): So do you like to get kinky?
Subbie: umm...like with car batteries and barbed wire? Sure!
Me: Well, a real sub must take anything a real dom dishes out, so I use barbed wire all the time for bondage and stuff
Subbie: Okay
Subbie: I like to kneel naked on broken glass for hours at a time too
Me: Oh good. I'm a real dom so I'll make you do that every night
Me: Forehead branding ok with you?
Me: On the first date?
Subbie: Sure! But we have to talk for 2 minutes first so I can get to completely know you. K?
Me: frowns. Real subs can't make demands like that. You must be punished now
Subbie: :-( okay
Me: Let's see, I want you to go and get the biggest vegetable in your refrigerator and stick it up your ass with no lube
Subbie: All I have are tomatoes...but they're not really vegetables. They're fruits you know...
Me: OK, do that right now. Are you doing it?
Subbie: yes...I have shoved 6 tomatoes up my bum (as I sit there watching him type, fully clothed)
Me: Very good. Now follow that up with a whole bottle of salad dressing
Subbie: ranch, bleu cheese, thousand island, Italian, vinaigrette, or cucumber wasabi?
Me: Wow, you have a nice selection in the fridge. Cucumber wasabi sounds good, that should sting.
Subbie: not as much as the 8 inch cactus I put in there before the tomatoes
Me: Hey, I didn't tell you to put a cactus there. Are you talking to other doms?
Subbie: no.…
Me: Just itchy hemorrhoids?
Subbie: I was anticipating your next desire
Me: Good boy. You will make a perfect submissive. Now Real Slaves (TM) are not allowed to own any property so you will have to sign over your house and bank account to Me before we meet
Subbie: Ok
Subbie: just checking, or also savings, IRAs, 401k plans, CDs, stock portfolios, Mutual Funds, wads of 100 dollar bills, hidden in a fake beer can in the back of the fridge, gold bullion buried in the backyard, and coin collections too?
Me: Of course.

Online D/s can be effective if both parties are truly committed to being sincere and honest, but frankly those commodities are in somewhat scarce supply on the random playing field of the Internet.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

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Post #: 59

RE: To all with an online submissive? - 5/11/2006 7:58:50 AM

DerLachendeKater

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

i personally can't diss these type of d/s relationships. the reason is becuase when i first started out before i found awesome sites like this so i could find a dominant near me, i had one half way across the country. furhermore that relationship was no less real then the hands on one i am in now. the feelings are just as real etc etc and you just need to have a extrondinary ammount of trust. i wish you luck if i think of any suggestions i will post them.

< Message edited by DerLachendeKater -- 5/11/2006 8:00:12 AM >

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