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Kaliko -> RE: House Rules (11/3/2011 5:00:59 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kaliko
It might be worth it to add - I love lists. Nothing would make me happier than to have a list left for me everyday of what is expected of me. So, a perpetual list is maybe not such a bad idea. Perhaps those that bristle at the thought of a list wouldn't find fulfillment in checking things off a list like I do.
I'm a list maker and I love lists. That list would still drive me insane. There's no room for real life on it.
I was originally going to say "I agree" but then I took another look at the list.
Our Quality time
Make sure music, food and drink are ready for my homecoming. I would consider having "dinner on the table" as a normal course of activity in any relationship I'm in.
Express yourself openly, but always respectfully. Absolutely normal behavior.
Request permission to leave when you have need, make lip to skin contact if granted.
“May I go pee”, “May I go to work”, “May I check on dinner” This seems unrealistic.
Your Binder
Keep your binder in the middle drawer beneath the fish tank.
Write titles and guides in block letters.
Write content in script.
Practice exceedingly neat and elegant penmanship.
Illuminate each page after I review it’s content.
Type and email me each page of content.
Keep a list of Home Rules.
Journal daily, 250 word minimum. I'm not sure what's in the binder other than the Home Rules and journaling, but it interests me. Doesn't seem too outlandish. Kind of like a scrapbook of sorts, only illuminated. :)
Keep an evolving section of best practices that we make up together. And I actually think this is kind of nice.
Your Communication
Speak freely, but respectfully. More normal, expected behavior.
Observe courtesies in all phone and written communication with me.
“only if it pleases you”, “not unless it pleases you”, “your obedient servant”, etc
Lips to foot, verbally surrender your mind and body each morning.
“I love you -------. My body and mind are yours. Your wish is my command.”
Grant me all that is yours each morning.
“As I am yours, all that is mine is yours.” These would all get old and/or lose their meaning, as someone has already said.
Your Correction
Recognize that I am correcting behavior, not the inner you that I’ve grown to love.
If my correction causes physical or emotional distress, express this in a respectful manner.
Bear corrections with grace and dignity. All normal.
Your Dress and Hygiene
Shave your body daily
Wear a red bracelet on your left wrist when menstruating.
Wear a brown bracelet on your left wrist when you are having colon trouble.
House clothes have an open bottom, no panties unless menstruating
No street clothes beyond the curtains unless company is present
Paint all your nails the same.
Mark “POMS” on your body daily. This is where it falls apart for me. Never mind the bracelets, I love my flannels and comfy pants, with closed bottoms and all. The nail painting I can see, as well as the marking, but the rest seems unrealistic.
Your Household duties
No dirty dishes left overnight.
No garbage in the home overnight.
Do laundry as soon as there is a full load.
Hang our next days apparel out the night before.
Write the next days weather forecast on the bathroom mirror in dry erase.
Tables, counters and floors are clean and clutter free before bed.
Keep a grocery list on the refrigerator.
Plan meals in advance.
Make the bed each morning.
Iron my clothes immediately after wear (if not soiled) or wash.
Make coffee each morning. Pour one cup and one thermos full. I see most of this as expected, except for maybe having to jump to do ironing or the laundry. Also, no garbage in the home overnight might mean a lot of half-filled bags in the dumpster - kind of a waste of plastic bags.
Your sexual duties
Find ways to stay curious.
Maintain absolute availability.
Maintain fidelity, whatever we decide that means.
Recognize the cycle of our sex drives as they rise and fall.
Offer oral sex more than twice daily.
Attempt good morning and good night, blow-jobs daily. Nothing too odd here, I don't think. A morning and and evening oral sex session doesn't seem too much to expect, but it does seem to kill the spontaneous a bit, I think. And perhaps it could get a wee bit tiring?
So, all in all, I don't think it's really all that unrealistic, though there are certainly a few pieces here and there that I would not be able to follow, myself.
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