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RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 1:03:06 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Being under the influence of any drug is no excuse for rudeness, bad behaviour or poor judgement! It may explain it but it never excuses it.

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 21

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 1:07:57 PM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
Status: offline

Well for us a couple of drinks at dinner or after coming home from work while we are cooking and unwinding from the day or no big deal. We know each other well enough that it is not an issue. Now that said, 2 or 3 drinks and the knife stays put, etc....

K

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 22

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 1:41:00 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Being under the influence of any drug is no excuse for rudeness, bad behaviour or poor judgement! It may explain it but it never excuses it.

Uh ok I agree, not sure what that has to do with the topic though?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 23

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 1:44:08 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

<fast reply>
Momma use to tell me....a drunk dick has no conscience.

That was all I ever needed to hear.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 24

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 2:27:28 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83
how do you feel about the use of alcohol during BDSM play?
is it ok to play & be 'under the influence?'

Here is my personal stance:
I don't drink.
I do not permit my submissives and slaves to drink.
I will not play with anyone who has been drinking.
I will not attend a public play party or dungeon in which alcohol is present.
I will not support any lifestyle group who allows drinking at their events.

If you'd like me to expand on any of those stances, feel free to ask.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to composer83)

Post #: 25

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 2:46:10 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

a wine enema?? really?? hmmm....i learn something new everyday....

I wouldn't recommend that, can be very dangerous:

alcohol enema

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to composer83)

Post #: 26

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 2:57:47 PM

Skuggi

Posts: 71
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline

What I know from the Icelandic scene, the rules are strict and for a good reason, no alcohol or drugs.

Of course people have 1 or 2 beers in a private party but in the offcial scene, it's a rule never to allow any type of play if you have been drinking - and of course any drugs are totally forbidden.

Personally I totally agree with that, since BDSM and alcohol/drugs just don't mix.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 27

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 3:03:10 PM

composer83

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline

i may be walking in to the Lioness' den here by asking....but.....why such a rigid stance against alcohol, Proprietrix? it almost seems as tho there is a very specific, personal thing that has happend to influence your opinion as such....
do you not allow your sub/slaves to drink, because you do not drink, & hold them to the same standards to which you hold yourself? if so, that is totally respectable & admirable........but why not support other organizations where they choose to have alcohol...(again, operating under the asumption that we are *responsible* adults in our decision making, lol)

we all know that alcohol thins your blood.....so any play where blood might be drawn would not be a good idea while drunk....but it seems to me.....people have sloppy drunk sex all the time.......so, what would be wrong with some sloppy drunk bdsm play???

perhaps Ben Franklin said it best.....'ale increases the desire, but decreases the performance.'

its always best to have a sharp & stable mind......i guess i just like playing devils advocate...

~m

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(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 28

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 3:29:08 PM

slavejlb

Posts: 446
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Let start by saying anyone with any common sense knows Drugs, alcohol and bdsm dont not make for good bed partners.
for the sub, in many ways her submission become fake and artifical, beside if in a heavy pain play scene she looses all senses including the very important one common sense. Because her brain has become dull due to drugs, and or alcohol, she does not have controle of her own limits, and things can get just a little bit more then she was ready for in scene. Second, beside the pain from the scene then she/he has to deal with the hangover combo, not good, as my daughter would say bad mojo.
For the dom, if he is under the influnance then he has no controle over his actions and too he can become a little less awear of his slave/sub/toy. this again is bad bad mojo.
and no fun because of the drug cover haze no one will remember.
for the scene to be good, for all to enjoy just depend up the natural drug your own body makes, enjoy the aderline, and epi and every one can stay safe.
now i will get off my soap box,

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 29

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 4:09:12 PM

xxmstrchasxx

Posts: 423
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

I personally don't drink and my sub drinks very little, it only takes about 2 wine coolers to get her snockered. I would never let her play when she or I were under the influence or anywhere where anyone was intoxicated and was playing.

Being drunk and having sex is an entirely different thing, in answer to the question above.

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XxMasterChasxX

(in reply to composer83)

Post #: 30

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 5:17:08 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Being under the influence of any drug is no excuse for rudeness, bad behaviour or poor judgement! It may explain it but it never excuses it.

Uh ok I agree, not sure what that has to do with the topic though?

Easy LA

I took the OP literally and responded to that....

quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

ok......my original post got denied.......so im modifying it a bit to coincide with the TOS....

how do you feel about the use of alcohol during BDSM play?
is it ok to play & be 'under the influence?'

personally i think its not the safest thing.....but is acceptable, in my mind, if it is done (as with all things) in moderation.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 31

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 6:07:35 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Don't Drink and Drive.

If a person cannot be expected to be capable of driving after a couple of drinks, how could s/he be expected to engage in BDSM play after a couple of drinks?

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 32

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 6:14:07 PM

tade

Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline

Well said. I am always amused when the topic of alcohol or (GASP) any other "libation" comes up. It always sounds like people don't know the difference between having a few drinks and being stinking drunk.

If I want to sip on the single malt of my choice while watching my wife scratch, torment or otherwise pleasure our bottoms so be it. It helps me wait for my turn.

We once had a girl that loooooved the smell of scotch on my breath as I did all the little things that make us us. And a vanilla girlfriend from long ago was turned on by beer on the breath from her early days of sneaking a drink and a fuck after school.

Should you play if you are drunk? Not a good idea, but why would you, top bottom or otherwise. Hard to be sensual when you can't feel anything. Just my opinion.

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 33

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 6:14:24 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

i may be walking in to the Lioness' den here by asking....but.....why such a rigid stance against alcohol, Proprietrix? it almost seems as tho there is a very specific, personal thing that has happend to influence your opinion as such....
do you not allow your sub/slaves to drink, because you do not drink, & hold them to the same standards to which you hold yourself? if so, that is totally respectable & admirable........but why not support other organizations where they choose to have alcohol...(again, operating under the asumption that we are *responsible* adults in our decision making, lol)

Personally, I do not care what others do; though certain 'play' seems irresponsible after alcohol, etc.

I do not, I have told her that I do not care if she does but I will not interact with her while under the influence of intoxicants...the reason is very simple, when she is that way, she is not mine. I spoke to her once on the phone under the influence of a substance and did not like the experience and I choose not to repeat it.

As 'responsible' adults we all have our choices to make and for me this is not a moral decision in the least and she is free to choose as she wishes but she also knows my response.

C

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(in reply to composer83)

Post #: 34

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 6:16:47 PM

petwolf22

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline

i was out at the fetish ball in san fran and although there weren't really play scenes going on, more just a costume party type thing, i was more than a bit tipsy and let this hot girl whip me.

Needless to say, i didn't know when to say when and didn't know until the next day just how purple and bruised my ass was. Not that they were bad, but i'll certainly have to pay better attention next time.

Alcohol raised my pain tolerance-or at least my ability to ignore the pain.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 35

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 6:23:28 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

.....people have sloppy drunk sex all the time.......so, what would be wrong with some sloppy drunk bdsm play???

I can see a lot wrong with it. Personally i wouldn't want to be bound and at the mercy of a drunk dom/domme. Would he /sherecognize if i were in distress? would he/she even hear my safe word? would he/she become angry over something and abuse me? would he/she be accurate with his/her placement of floggings? would he/she pass out and leave me there? would he/she try something he didn't have the skill for, for example breath play? If a sub were drunk would he/she be capable of using a safe word or even feel the same level of pain to know if she/he were in trouble? All kinds of things could go wrong with impaired players.JMHO

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to composer83)

Post #: 36

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 6:28:53 PM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

My thoughts on this have changed somewhat over time. I think, in part, that is because I know what I would choose, know my own responses, and know how I would expect my own property to behave, within the parameters of the rules we've set down, and I -don't- feel comfortable making that judgement for the rest of the community.

Would I serve alcohol at an event we were hosting? Probably... there'd likely be wine with dinner, or a sampling of nice microbrews, ales, and stouts. There might be mixed drinks, depending on our interests and pocketbooks. At the same time, we would expect that those whom we would invite into our space would be mature and would choose their drinking and play-times according to the participants' capabilities. If we saw someone behaving in an unsafe manner, or behaving boorishly, needless to say, in our own space, we would feel perfectly comfortable stepping in, but I find it highly unlikely that we would have to, since the people we tend to associate with are mature and capable of self-policing.

Would we attend an event where alcohol was served?... certainly. I don't see any reason to avoid events where alcohol is served. We don't typically scene in public, so it is unlikely that we would be engaging in any activity that would prevent us being able to enjoy a drink, an ale, or a glass of wine. Having been raised in a Sicilian household, I can honestly say that a glass of wine, an antipasto, and conversation are some of the most enjoyable ways to celebrate the company of friends, and when I'm at an event, I want to spend time celebrating the company of friends.

What about the people who get drunk and do dangerous things? That's what Dungeon Monitors are for -- to keep people, drunk or sober, who are doing dangerous things from hurting anyone else. Save the discipline for the individuals who have no sense of self-mastery and no self-control, and let me decide for myself what I wish to do in terms of enjoying myself at an event when nobody else is getting hurt. There is no reason to make rules/laws to punish everyone because a few people can't control themselves.

Da'Avatar ZWD

www.klashaan.org

< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 5/30/2006 6:30:55 PM >

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"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 37

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 6:49:23 PM

jezabelKH

Posts: 663
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

ok......my original post got denied.......so im modifying it a bit to coincide with the TOS....

how do you feel about the use of alcohol during BDSM play?
is it ok to play & be 'under the influence?'

personally i think its not the safest thing.....but is acceptable, in my mind, if it is done (as with all things) in moderation.

NEVER MIX BDSM AND DRINKING.

(in reply to composer83)

Post #: 38

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 7:06:14 PM

genvieve

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline

-shakes my head- i wouldn't do it. This lifestyle is dangerous enough without adding chemical influence. Personally, i wouldn't feel safe if either party was under the influence.

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 39

RE: under the influence - 5/30/2006 7:41:53 PM

thule

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/8/2006
Status: offline

I will not deal with anyone under the influence for "play".Won't tolerate it in most "vanilla"circumstances either.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 40

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