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RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/23/2014 4:51:41 PM   
directiveerror


Posts: 128
Joined: 11/17/2013
Status: offline 		physical things i couldnt care in the slightest about... you have a specific kink? ok cool... you want to live in a specific place? sure sure but if its the desert im only going out at night. its very hard for people to reach the point where i push back... but once they find those points there is no give. i'm very good at giving people what they say they want... especially since most people commonly say "i dont want anything from you"most of my areas in which i dont bend i cant possibly imagine ever changing(breeding being a main one)... other areas i strongly doubt will ever be an issue but i cant completely rule out(like love)... but in a way all time around people can be seen as a compromise, but i choose to view it as an exchange, with careful checks and balances. if those scales should ever tip i leave. give me a place to live i give you a fantasy, give me the truth i give you loyalty, give me energy and i will draw people to you, give me respect and i'll give you time, give me freedom and i'll give you gifts. give me understanding and maybe i would give love. people choose what they want and then i choose how i accept payment, when they fall short its over, the fantasy erodes and i disappear never to be heard from again. i suppose i see calling anything as compromise as a 'glass half empty' approach, there is always give and take on both sides( "someone who gives and someone who takes" *ironic chuckle*) of course the end goal isnt to find someone who doesnt make you compromise but rather to find someone who doesnt make you try so hard to prevent it.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/24/2014 5:32:44 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		I was willing to compromise procrastination....but I fordot.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/24/2014 5:47:56 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

I'd relocate, but it has to be comparable to the dark side, cuz they have cookies. Hmmm... Cookies and MILF, yum!

Jus sayin
Exiled

Okay, I'm not a MILF, but I've offered to send you chocolate cookies with M&Ms, at your request. They are however going to remain virtual cookies unless I know where to send them. I can't even post a pic of cookies because of this damned tablet!



(Stammer, stutter, guffaw) you... You... You've got feckin MAIL!

Xoxoxox
Exiled

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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/24/2014 6:47:32 PM   
Ollieboomboom


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/2/2013
Status: offline 		I gave up all of these-left my ums (grown, but still)...it didn't work out...he was not my last Master. I regretted my decision for a few years and then...applauded myself for at least having the guts to take a chance. At this stage in my life, I won't compromise my grand ums and that means no moving too far away from them. A house change is negotiable.

dovie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

I'm seeing something I did not expect. Large compromises. Homes. Jobs. Location. . But the general consensus so far seems to be that these things seemed fairly important UNTIL someone arrived in your life that outshone the importance of these things in your life.

Is there anything you ever gave up,and later regretted ?


(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/24/2014 6:59:56 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

I'd relocate, but it has to be comparable to the dark side, cuz they have cookies. Hmmm... Cookies and MILF, yum!

Jus sayin
Exiled

Okay, I'm not a MILF, but I've offered to send you chocolate cookies with M&Ms, at your request. They are however going to remain virtual cookies unless I know where to send them. I can't even post a pic of cookies because of this damned tablet!



(Stammer, stutter, guffaw) you... You... You've got feckin MAIL!

Xoxoxox
Exiled

As if you have EVER been at a loss for words!!


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Profile   Post #: 85
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/26/2014 9:35:25 AM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		I'm married and I'm really hoping to never get into the dating pool again, but here's my 2 cents on the whole issue.

We have a fairly vanilla relationship. Giving up my kink was something I never thought I would do. However, sometimes you just know and this man gets me more than anyone else ever has. Finding him was like finding home. Do I miss getting a good beating? You bet, I miss more than I thought I would and often crave it.

Here's the thing, relationships whether they are D/s or plain old vanilla take work. They take hard work and compromise. It doesn't magically just happen and its not perfect all the time. I feel like we make a fair amount of compromises in our daily life. At the end of the day you have to figure out your priorities and the benefits you get in return for making those compromises.

For instance:

We have two dogs. I had two dogs when I met him and he accepted them as his own. He said he never wanted a cat. He said he hated cats. A situation arose and I couldn't let a stray cat starve and taking him to the pound was not an option for me. I did everything I could to see if he had a home. We ended up with a cat. He wasn't happy, but he let me bring that cat into our home. Guess what, he loves that cat and that cat adores him. He got tenfold cat love back for his compromise. He's also become accustomed to the fact that if we run across a stray, lost, or hungry animal I literally cannot walk away.

I hate where we live. We live in the middle of nowhere with no culture and I have a 45 minute drive to work every day. It's a pain in the ass in the winter and often takes me much longer. My teeth often hurt with from clenching them on the treacherous drive. He has a 5 minute drive to work. The return for me is that we live in a very peaceful area. He can get home to let them dogs out if needed and I get to come home to him every single day.

If I had to do this all over again I honestly don't know what would be worth compromising and what would be worth standing firm on. To me the person really does make all the difference. What would he be willing to compromise? Does he understand that I bring things to the table too? Does he understand that I have worked hard to build myself up in my field of work and it would be hard to start somewhere new and fresh? I would probably look for more of kink centered relationship. Even though I was much opposed to it when I was younger, I would probably be open to a poly/open relationship.

I do know that my pets are non-negotiable. They go where I go. They are like my children and I took them on for life. If you can't accept that, then you cannot accept me. I'm 100% okay with that. If my husband and I never had kids, not having kids would be something I wouldn't compromise on. Being a mother is just something that is hard wired within me.

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RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/30/2014 12:03:13 AM   
FieryOpal


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Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

What would you be willing to compromise on for the right person?


Well, I felt your question was worth percolating on a little further. I know I've previously stated I wasn't willing to make any compromises.

The problem is one of semantics. I really don't like the word "compromise." On the other hand, I'm amenable to negotiate and prefer to look at that process as a "trade-off"... or better yet, as "trading up."

Therefore, if I found the right person, assuming I'd already made any internal compromises I had to make ahead of time in my criteria or standards to get to that point, I might be willing to make trade-offs/ups as follows:

- Mostly vanilla-type sex (meaning nothing too kinky)
- A planned retirement in a location that wasn't my original or first choice, as long as it's tropical-like or warm most of the year. Pre-planned, not rushed.
- I like dogs, but I'm a cat person; I could possibly put up with one inside the house as long as it gets along with my cat, and I don't end up getting stuck taking care of it.
- Sleeping with somebody who snores, but not too loudly and not all night long, for heaven's sake.
- Someone who occasionally smokes a cigar or pipe (but absolutely NO chewing tobacco, yuck)
- Possibly something else other than listening to country music or riding on a motorcycle

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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/30/2014 2:03:24 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		I compromise on lots of little things. I do it, all the time.

An example I've used for many years is; if she comes to me and says that she wants to do the bedroom all in pink and put flower print curtains on the windows, I don't give a damn; as long as the mattress is comfortable and I can sleep (and fuck) on it.

If she wants to paint my guitar pink, we're going to have a war.





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RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/30/2014 3:39:34 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

[co

If she wants to paint my guitar pink, we're going to have a war.




I dunno...I could see you with this guitar







Attachment (1)

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/30/2014 3:44:54 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr



If she wants to paint my guitar pink, we're going to have a war.




I dunno...I could see you with this guitar



Guitars should be Stratocasters and be black and white. If you must go with a different color, a deep, candy-apple red can be acceptable.





< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 1/30/2014 3:47:15 AM >

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A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

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RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/30/2014 4:12:53 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Ok, so if you can compromise on red, then pink is just a wee bit of white down the road.....

Compromise is the devils slippery slope to ... pink!

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/30/2014 4:16:47 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Ok, so if you can compromise on red, then pink is just a wee bit of white down the road.....

Compromise is the devils slippery slope to ... pink!


... and here is where we cross over into the realm of "deal breakers"





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A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/30/2014 5:44:31 AM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline
quote:

The problem is one of semantics. I really don't like the word "compromise." On the other hand, I'm amenable to negotiate and prefer to look at that process as a "trade-off"... or better yet, as "trading up."


This is my problem as well. Compromise, to me, sounds like settling. I'd much rather compromise on a situation rather than compromise on a partner.

Height has always been a requirement, something I said I would never go against. I married someone who is the same height as me. It wasn't a compromise at that time. I never thought "well, he's nice so I think I'll let the height slide".
When I met him, height wasn't a requirement. It was never on my mind. He was what I wanted.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 1/31/2014 12:15:34 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

We all know how hard it is to find someone that we connect with on a very deep level that ALSO shares our "kinks". My question is... What would you be willing to compromise on for the right person?

Would you give up a favorite scenario ? A favorite toy? Probably. But would you give up something more, something broader? Could be your job, if relocation is necessary. Or accepting another's children, when you have none of your own. Or giving up your dream for an open relationship or Poly if your partner is opposed. On the flip side, BECOMING poly?

Now, I know I'm going to get hit with "it depends on what is important to each individual". I understand that. I would just like to hear what is worth the sacrifice, when the reward is the partner you've always wanted.

I know there are many here that have found that "one". Did you have to compromise on anything? Do you have any regrets?




I don't think the issues are any different than in a vanilla relationship.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 2/1/2014 7:11:09 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr



If she wants to paint my guitar pink, we're going to have a war.




I dunno...I could see you with this guitar



Guitars should be Stratocasters and be black and white. If you must go with a different color, a deep, candy-apple red can be acceptable.





No No. They should be Flying Vee's, and painted day glo colors and come with obligatory big hair mullets

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RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 2/4/2014 10:01:18 PM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

It seems to me that it is in large part a function of our ages. When younger, we might be more willing, and more able, to relocate, change jobs, start over. When we are older we are often more likely to have jobs or professional practices not readily changed, own homes we don't want to leave, have long established ties we don't want to let go.

Also, those of us who are older are often more keenly aware of the ephemeral nature of most relationships, and aren't as willing to compromise on the real assets of our lives for relationships that we know from experience may well not last.


The first part makes perfect sense, the second I am not so sure about. I think as we get older what we value changes. We make compromises and realize that some things we thought e could never tolerate in another, or thought we needed, aren't such big deals after all. I don't think people are less likely to compromise as they age just likely to compromise on different things, and less likely to be willing (or able) to move.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 2/5/2014 12:24:43 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		Maybe. But then again, your profile says you are 34... So revisit the second part in 20 years

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RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 2/5/2014 12:31:34 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

Guitars should be Stratocasters and be black and white. If you must go with a different color, a deep, candy-apple red can be acceptable.



No No. They should be Flying Vee's, and painted day glo colors and come with obligatory big hair mullets



Actually, I owned a Flying V, a million years ago. Gibson necks have always been too fat for me (although they've thinned them down, now) and the guitar cannot be played, sitting down.

I gave that example though to be something that most (especially non-guitar players) would see as trivial but something that's important to me, as an individual.

There's very little that can't be negotiated with a partner in my life. To be fair, some of them might seem kind of inconsequential to some but, that's why there's eight horses in a race.





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A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

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Profile   Post #: 98
RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 2/5/2014 12:49:59 PM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline 		(Loved the exchange about the pink guitars.....LOL I think it looks nice in pink!)

I agree with Spiritedsub2. I regret very much not being able to get involved in a D/s relationship when I was still in my 20s. There are so many more things I would have been willing to "compromise" or let go in my life that I don't think I could do now, and it puts me in a bit of a quandry. The biggest thing I would have trouble giving up would be having a decent full-time job. I have NEVER, EVER wanted to be in a relationship for the sake of financial support, and right now, while my job doesn't pay me much, it is very secure and it gives me decent benefits.

20-25 years ago I would have been willing to go to almost any part of the country....and I would have been able to and I would have been able to find a good job. Now with my age, education, the current economy, and other limitations in my life, it would be HUGE risk for me to quit my current job and move somewhere else....and "hope" I could find a equally decent job. But like I said, this puts me in a bit of a quandry because I'm pretty sure I'm not going to find anybody local. There is a reason I call Delaware....."Vanillaware".

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RE: What are you willing to compromise ? - 2/5/2014 5:13:04 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I think that's one thing I'm happy about....that I can basically pick up and start over again no matter what. I had my daughter when I was right out of high school and now that she's grown, I'm still young enough to go anywhere I want, do what I want, find another job, etc....I no longer have anyone that is dependent on me.I don't have family or friends that I need to be around for, etc.. So if Master said today that he wanted me to quit my job, be a stay at home slave, and move anywhere with him, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I have nothing that keeps me in one place.

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Profile   Post #: 100
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