FirmhandKY
Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
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Introduction:
Ok, so I was taking a break during my work day, and reading the "Researchers identify "male warrior effect" thread which turned into a battle of the sexes thread.
I don't want to address the inherent superiority of either sex, nor which one (if either) is more intelligent, more social, etc, etc, ad infinitum and ad nauseam.
What I do want to address the the most important issue brought out by the thread: the correct position of a toilet seat.
Now, I realize that this issue doesn't rank up there with world peace, the cure for AIDS and cancer, and the debate over the existence of global warming, and while I've had these thoughts run through my head for years, I've never reached the point of desire to enumerate the exact issues. But I guess every dog has it day. Today is the day to lay to rest the entire "men are inconsiderate because they fail to put the seat down" canard.
(btw, kudos to Lotus Song and Vendaval for bringing this issue to the forefront of my mind. I'm sure they will be proud.)
****
The Question:
What is the best position for a toilet seat?
***
And to make it plain, let me define a few terms.
When I say "toilet seat", I'm talking about the seat - you know, the part you actually sit on. Not the lid. The lid is different.
The "lid" is the part of the larger "toilet seat" assembly that covers the actual seat, and hides all the "goodies" that may be present in the bowl.
"Toilet seat up" means that both the lid and the seat are open, resting against the water reservoir.
"Toilet seat down" means JUST the seat down. The lid is up, still against the water reservoir.
"Lid down" means both the seat and the lid are covering the bowl.
Are we clear so far? Good. Hope so. This is not rocket science, so regardless of your opinion of the varying intelligence of the sexes, I think everyone will be able to grasp the basics.
Ok, then. How does the difference between (most) men's and women's anatomy change how they may use a toilet in relation to the seat and lid?
Well, first of all, men use the full capablities of a toilet. Women do not. Men have to sit on it sometimes, and at other times they can stand if they wish.
Women on the other hand, almost always have to sit in order to use the toilet (there are exceptions, which is why the qualifier "almost always"). That is, unless they are using the toilet to pour out old liquids or throw foods away and don't want to use a garbage disposal, or the trash. But those uses are incidental uses, and not within the normal design purposes of toilets, so we won't discuss them any further.
You could even say that the entire reason for a toilet seat is because of men's requirements. In other words, it's designed for men, not women. And wasn't it a man (Thomas Crapper?) that invented the indoor toilet in the first place? (see Notes below).
There are several important sanitary issues with the location of the lid and the seat, and several esthetic issues as well.
First, the purpose of the lid is to cover the water and any .... ah .... floaters that may occur, as well as any less than visually appealing markings and residues. It serves both health and esthetic purposes.
Primarily then, the best place for the lid is "down". This means that the seat will also have to be down.
Now, I realize by this point, that many of you women are thinking "ah HA! he is going to support the "seat down" position of all women-kind!" .... Sorry, nope. Let's return to my analysis ...
My proposition is that the whole "men are inconsiderate because they leave the toilet seat up" is not only a false statement, but shows the espouser to have a female-centric view of the world, and are inconsiderate themselves.
A Man's Use:
Consider, if you will, that a man must always pay attention to the status of the toilet seat, and the lid. Each time he approaches the throne, he must make a detailed evaluation of not only his likely needs, but the status and condition of the facilities. Then he must formulate a plan of action to successfully accomplish his mission without unnecessary spillage or mess.
1. If the seat is up, and he requires it to be down, he must make appropriate changes to the equipment's configuration.
2. If the seat is down, and he needs for it to be down, he can immediately execute his plan.
3. If the seat is up and needs it to be up, he can also immediately execute his plan.
4. If the seat is down, and he needs for it to be up, he must again make appropriate changes to the equipment's configuration.
5. If the lid is down, he must make the decision of whether to raise just the lid, or the lid and the seat, based on his projected status of use.
I will admit, there are times, and men who are not always successful in doing these things (especially if the man in question is inebriated or careless in his plan's execution). However, if a woman finds a toilet facility that is shared with a man, and there is no yellow liquid on the seat or beside the throne, she can make the assumption that the man in her life is both considerate and successful in his thronely adventures. A man who leaves wet "presents" for the woman in his life is without a doubt both careless and inconsiderate.
Now, ideally, a man or a woman either one should close both the seat and the lid in order to preserve the esthetics and health of the household, but that doesn't always happen.
A Woman's Use:
Consider next the typical woman's use of the throne.
She approaches the facility and must also evaluate the condition she finds:
1. If the seat is up, she must lower it before she executes her simple plan.
2. If the seat is down, she simply sits down and executes.
3. If the lid is down, she always has the same project: raise the lid by itself.
Comparison:
Just from this short analysis, we can see that a man must always perform a more detailed analysis of the "toilet" situation than a woman. He has five possible courses of action that he must consider, while a woman has only three.
Now, as to how this "men are inconsiderate because they leave the toilet seat up" fallacy is normally presented, it is simply because a woman has one and only one configuration of the facilities that she can use, while a man can have several.
Women who complain about the seat being up usually say it's because they have walked into the facilities while it was dark, or come to the facilities while only slightly roused from a deep sleep and fail to make an evaluation of the facilities prior to using them, ending up with a wet anatomy .
Several things should be apparent from this complaint:
A man must evalute the status and position of the facilities and his probably use of the same each and every single time he approaches.
A woman "should" do so, but often doesn't. When she doesn't, whose fault is it? The man's, of course.
So, when a woman complains that men are inconsiderate for the position that they leave the seat in, it basically points out the woman's selfishness, her lack of attention to details, and her ego-centric point of view.
It means that she is inconsiderate, not the man.
Another thing that this analysis points out that since a man always has to make an evaluation of the seat's position, he doesn't particularly find its position important or relevant to the discussion. So when women complain about it, we see them as complaining about - simply stated - a non-issue.
This is the reason I believe that the meme has been so widely disseminated. It is humorous to men, not worth debunking or causing a fight with a woman over.
So, now to answer the original question: What is the best position for a toilet seat?
The answer: it doesn't matter to a man, but it does to a woman.
I hope I've laid this whole thing to rest.
FHky
PS. There is even more analysis you could do with this, especially addressing "The Frequency Fallacy", but I think I've wasted enough time today. Perhaps if there is enough interest, I'll address some of those other issues.
Notes:
1. mytreasure pointed out to me that the inventor of the toilet, and toilet seat is in some question, but it doesn't distract from the logic of the rest of my argument.
She also provided the following interesting links:
2. Toiletology 101
http://www.toiletology.com/history.shtml
3. Toilet seat
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_seat
4. The Troublesome Toilet Seat: Up or Down?
http://www.speech.sri.com/people/anand/toiletseat/index.html
5. A GAME THEORETIC APPROACH TO THE TOILET SEAT PROBLEM
http://www.scq.ubc.ca/?p=108
_____________________________
Some people are just idiots.
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